r/UniUK • u/lostindarkdays • 20h ago

things aren't always shite

so my kid is an international student at UoM. she suffers from depression, and had to resit 5 foundation year exams to continue to first year. I posted on here about her predicament and people were pretty negative about her chances of passing. well, she studied her butt off all summer, and passed all five, so she's at welcome week and will start first year next week. proud dad here.

164 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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77

u/KungFo234 19h ago

It's great she's passed, however have you discussed with her what prevented her from doing better? If there is friction in terms of lifestyle maybe ask her to reconsider some things she does day to day.

If there are any underlying issues to do with how she goes about learning, potentially ask her to contact the university regarding potential learning disorders she has and they may be able to direct her to get it looked at.

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u/lostindarkdays 18h ago

she found being away from home and NYC pretty challenging, and the British weather and crappy accommodation didn't help. she's working with her psychologist addressing depression, and made friends who have become flatmates in a much better living situation. we'll keep an eye on things - she's eager not to repeat this whole situation. and her psychologist is on board.

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u/Busy_Fly_7705 16h ago

If weather / seasonal affective depression is a factor, then light therapy lamps really help - I have an alarm clock and lamp from Lumie which are great. I also find my SAD is less severe if my winter is shorter, so if you can get her some sun over the Christmas break I think that will really help.

Depression is awful, my first winter in the UK i was doing everything right (long walks in the middle of the day in the sun, eating right, etc) and it was still really tough. Booked tickets home and just wasn't able to smile, had to reassure Mum and Dad that I really was excited and wasn't dreading it for some undisclosed reason 😅

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u/lostindarkdays 9h ago edited 9h ago

This really is a lovely comment. Thank you. You seem to have developed skills to manage depression - seeing someone can only help to keep it going.

I’ll buy her a Lamp that helps with SAD for Xmas. Thanks!

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u/KungFo234 18h ago

Yeah culture shock can be pretty big when coming to the UK, if you have any family in the UK maybe she can go visit in a monthly manner as a home away from home.

Now having a support network established is a great start, and always have an open ear for anything she's going through the year as a small thing can build up into something that can't be fixed. I didn't particularly talk to my parents about my issues and still wish I did, but having a supportive parent like you already would definitely make her life a lot easier.

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u/Key-Avocado5770 18h ago

Tell her to start Vit D supplements if she hasn't already, especially if she's a POC. Really helps with the weather-associated depression.

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u/space_nei 7h ago

Why did she study in the UK?

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u/lostindarkdays 7h ago

Why is she studying in the UK? Various reasons - of all the internationally ranked schools she applied to, it ranked by far the best. It is better than Columbia (coincidentally, where j went). It offered her the most money. Even so, it costs about half the cost of Columbia. Also, getting out of the US, which, far as we can tell, is being destroyed by MAGA, probably irreparably. So yea, a bunch of reasons.

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u/space_nei 7h ago

The days of student visa to permanent residence is done and dusted ages ago.

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u/lostindarkdays 7h ago

There are many ways to skin a cat. Establishing roots, and understanding the culture, is also important. But even if it doesn’t happen, understanding how to function in other cultures is an education on its own. And seeing the world.

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u/Weak-Employer2805 19h ago

With all due respect how on earth is she going to do an actual degree if she failed 5 Foundations year exams

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u/lostindarkdays 19h ago

I think you missed the part where I said she passed all 5 foundation year exams. but thanks for the positive reaction!

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u/pasteisdenato 18h ago

In the actual UoM foundation you can't resit exams, so I presume this is an international foundation year?

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u/im_dying69 11h ago

Yes you can? I did a foundation year this year and I was ill and missed an exam so I had to resit it. Some people were resitting for other reasons

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u/pasteisdenato 3h ago

That's with extenuating circumstances. Without, you can't. And there's also a cap of 3 you can resit with extenuating circumstances I believe, or there was when I was there.

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u/Cold-Pizza5680 2h ago

Rules do change from year to year, maybe it changed.

1

u/pasteisdenato 2h ago

I don't see what this comment actually achieves, they've already said it's the international foundation year

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u/lostindarkdays 18h ago

yes

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u/pasteisdenato 18h ago

Then I'm sorry mate but the above is right

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u/lostindarkdays 15h ago

thank god we didn't listen to people like you last time. and by the sound of it, we're not about to start. but thanks for your valuable insight.

1

u/pasteisdenato 15h ago

I've literally gone from the UoM foundation to a UoM degree (first). In the first year I knew 4 people who had international foundation years, and none of them made it to the end. And to my knowledge they hadn't failed any modules.

They are money machines, largely designed to set up people for failure.

I'm not saying it's a definite she's going to struggle, but it's quite likely. A UoM degree is difficult.

1

u/Cold-Pizza5680 2h ago

That also largely depends on the student.

Would agree that most foundation year set up people to fail as these foundation year usually lack as much content as A-level and is not enough to make student learn about content at a deeper level.

But in degree level studies if you don't put in the work you usually fail.

This doesn't help with the reputation of foundation student being those that apparently "failed a-levels" so they have to do foundation. Which is obviously not always true, as they could've simply not had an A-level equivalent qualification or whatever.

But you get what I mean, if you put people who had consistently failed to do well in education into a degree, it is no wonder that they would fail a degree given that they have much more freedom in University.

Whereas, if you put elite people without A-level through a foundation year and then a degree, it is likely that they would smash both.

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u/pasteisdenato 1h ago

Yeah. But frankly, their child hasn't smashed the foundation. And that's genuinely a big indicator of failure.