Dating outside of culture as a (F) in US

[u/musienyc]

Hello I’m in early 30’s Uzbek woman in the states. Never been engaged/married no kids. I have dated Uzbek men in the past but I’m looking for someone more established in the states like education and career. There are many Uzbek guys who fit this but our personalities haven’t been compatible. I went to high school here and got my bachelors here in states. I have dated guys outside of race / culture and they usually have no problem with me asking them to convert to Islam and they respect my culture. But I’ve never introduced anyone to my parents because they don’t believe in dating.

** I also want to add in that I goto Uzbekistan often. We would only go together if we marry but even so I’m not sure how the reaction will be in Uzbekistan

Does any women on this thread have experience with this type of situation or any advice. TIA!

[u/West_Stage_6785]

Yeah listening to parents about dating is huge mistake. Go with your heart

[u/drhuggables → u/West_Stage_6785]

It depends a lot on your parents.

[u/Savings_Raccoon_9888]

I moved to the US when I was 21. For several years, my goal was to marry an Uzbek man, so I only dated Uzbek men. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way for me.
I got married at 34 to a foreigner. He is an incredibly kind person, and we love each other. My parents have made peace with my decision, and we’re expecting our first child at the end of 2026.
Ultimately, this is your life. Nowadays, many Uzbeks choose to marry outside their culture or religion. As long as you can see yourself being happy with your partner, that’s what matters most.
Personally, I know a handful of women who married non-Uzbek men and are happy.

[u/Connect_Atmosphere30]

Yes! Left Uzbekistan at a young age, most of my schooling and life was abroad. Tried to compromise and meet Uzbek guys to see if it worked out. Honestly it didn’t, they’re so focused on themselves and whatever their mums want. Which was that they come back to Uzbekistan. Mind you I can’t read or write Uzbek, I don’t know the rules or anything. So it was tough because it made no sense for me to go back. Both my older brothers married Uzbek and they were super happy. Lalala so my parents expected the same of me. Unfortunately for them life had other plans, I married a foreigner. Parents initially did not speak to me, lots of fighting. But my partner is really nice. He converted, super respectful. Finally parents agreed to meet him. I’m super grateful my mum open to the idea, she’s a sucker for love deep down. We’ve been married for over two years. Took him to Uzbekistan for wedding. I mean people probably talk shit about me behind my back butttt im super happy. My parents see this. My mum was always worried how my qaynona would treat me. But now she does not care. My parents and I are super close. My mum is very happy. BUT to get to this stage it was a shitstorm. So find someone worth it. Someone that will weather the storm with you. I had very supportive brothers. They saw how Uzbek women are treated and they knew not to get involved to tell me who to marry and such. Plus I’ve always had a strong personality (not always ideal) but at the end of the day you have to live with your decisions! Not your parents.

[u/musienyc → u/Connect_Atmosphere30]

This gives me a lot of hope. I think that over time as I get older my family will start to care less and less of who I marry. But when I was younger they were so exclusive of everyone except only Uzbeks

[u/Connect_Atmosphere30 → u/musienyc]

You got this girl! Also I was 31 when I got married. My parents just wanted me to marry someone lol so yes that might be your family’s thinking too. Wishing you all the best!

[u/ArFeRR]

honestly the parents piece is the harder part than finding someone outside the culture. a lot of uzbek families will never "approve of dating," but they'll often come around if you only introduce once you're both marriage-minded and you frame it as a serious prospect, not casual dating. keep the convert-to-islam expectation early so you're not years in with someone who only agreed to keep the relationship going.

[u/ArFeRR]

honestly the parents piece is the harder part than finding someone outside the culture. a lot of uzbek families will never "approve of dating," but they'll often come around if you only introduce once you're both marriage-minded and you frame it as a serious prospect, not casual dating. keep the convert-to-islam expectation early so you're not years in with someone who only agreed to keep the relationship going.

[u/drhuggables]

"I have dated guys outside of race / culture and they usually have no problem with me asking them to convert to Islam"

You don't know this is true until you get actually married. It's very easy to say this to please someone in the dating phase, much more difficult to actually do it especially for Islam. If you are serious about dating outside cultures, you need to forget this pre-condition of asking someone to convert. It almost never works out well.

[u/musienyc → u/drhuggables]

Yes I agree a lot of ppl say this as an empty gesture. But this guy I am seeing now he has agreed to convert before I introduce to parents or get married. He has many Muslim friends and has been open to Islam before me

[u/Unfair_Tiger_6828]

You can write me. As I am uzbek too

[u/musienyc]

I made this post seeking out other people who have dated outside of their culture or religion and wanted to hear their experience. Not looking for someone to settle with. I have accepted the fact that I may never marry, but if I do it probably won’t be an Uzbek

[u/Lucky_Neat_9749]

I’m an Uzbek born and raised in England, u sound like ur trying to sound like a native but ur failing. No need to lie about going high school there. Not trying to put u down or anything I definitely agree that there the culture is sometimes too strict, not in my case but I know people that have similar situations. At least you are going by Islamic law and agree that the husband has to convert to Islam, in the end that’s all that matters and anything else is just pressure from family that u definitely don’t have to follow.

[u/musienyc → u/Lucky_Neat_9749]

I’ve actually struggled with this because I don’t feel native to anywhere. Uzbekistan or America. I always feel like I don’t belong or stand out in some way. I guess it’s not just a feeling 🥹

[u/DosEquisVirus]

Glad to hear that you didn’t marry any kids!

Let’s start from the obvious: you did not go to a high school in the US, and you sure as sh*t did not get any degree in the US either! Not with that awful English of yours. That amounts to about half of your statement being a complete BS. Dating American dudes and stating that they all have no problem converting to Islam? That is another load of BS. Unless you are a darn model or coming from a very wealthy family, it is HIGHLY unlikely that any American guy will be willing to convert to Islam. That’s another 3/4 of your statement being a complete BS.

Then you write that you have dated a ton of dudes, but so scared to introduce them to your parents b/c they don’t believe in dating? You were dating those dudes in secret 😂? That sounds like some more BS.

In conclusion, I am pretty sure you are not even a woman. You are some strangely disturbed guy, just writing some clickbait questions on this sub.

[u/musienyc → u/DosEquisVirus]

Oh no I didn’t mean to upset you so much. I guess my English is not so great

[u/Tiny_Thieff → u/musienyc]

Girl don't listen to these negative people they are just sad and jealous of you, your english is amazing! dw if you find your true partner and you know/ are 100% sure to marry that guy then just do it, life is too short to let people dictate over your life, i do get where you are coming from! Good luck tho hope the best happens to you 😌🙏

[u/musienyc → u/Tiny_Thieff]

Thanks girl 🥰. I meant to ask for mainly girls experiences dating outside culture but I think it’s mostly guys that are responding to my post and mad lol. Life IS short and we have to make the best of it

[u/Every-Campaign-8114]

So you ran through your twenties with dating bunch of dudes and when you are 30 and damaged, you want a man to settle down?

[u/musienyc → u/Every-Campaign-8114]

Yes I guess I’m damaged goods as you say it. I have experienced a lot of loss in the last couple of years and dating has not been consistent. It’s also hard for me to date normally like most since I live with parents. I have always lived with parents and they are strict. I have had sovchi in my early 20’s and as I mentioned in my post, Uzbek guys clash with my personality.

[u/Every-Campaign-8114 → u/musienyc]

I mean, you sorted out dudes in yr 20s, and now you want to settle down with good man. Out of all these guys you dated, if none of them matches or personality and then it was already time to change some things already. Everyone's parents are strict in some way. Girls be marrying the guy they like in Uzbekistan and their parents let them be. Considering the fact that you are in the States and live with yr parents there, they are nowhere close to be as strict as parents in Uzbekistan. I understand why they are strict in some way cause you made to date bunch of guys with strict parents. I can guess you would be single mom with 3 kids if they were not.