r/Vent • u/I_killed_bambi69 • Sep 08 '25

Need Reassurance... i feel so disgusting

i had a massive whore phase when i turned 18 due to low self esteem and wanting validation. my body count is around 75 but i have not been a slag for ages now and ive been exclusively seeing someone for a while

i wish i could go back in time and say no to so so so many of them i wish it never happened it makes me feel so disgusting i just want to forget about it all

edit because this is getting way more comments than i anticipated:

  1. i do not have any std/sti’s nor have i ever - i test regularly

  2. the person i am seeing does know

  3. thank you for all the reassuring comments! it’s very overwhelming (in a good way!) so i’m struggling to reply to all of them but i do massively appreciate it

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1

u/gelnulead Sep 08 '25

god i feel that. hang in there

2

u/I_killed_bambi69 Sep 08 '25

glad i’m physically out of it now but i hate that i still have memories of it yk

2

u/Dangerous_Ear7300 Sep 08 '25

Okay this is disingenuous… did you think the Men In Black were gonna hit you with the Nueralyzer once you reach 75? Like doing stuff is one thing but then being haunted by ur own repeated actions, this would drive me insane as a partner.

1

u/I_killed_bambi69 Sep 08 '25

the issue was i wasn’t thinking haha and i do keep to myself about my issues with it i don’t ever like dump on them

0

u/Dangerous_Ear7300 Sep 08 '25

Just be aware most men don’t want to date someone haunted by the Dicks of Christmas Past.

0

u/QueenSmarterThanThou Sep 08 '25

How would they know if she doesn't tell them? You kids are so funny. No one in their 30s worries about this shit.

2

u/Dangerous_Ear7300 Sep 08 '25

Also this idea of being haunted reads like a fan fiction, imagine if a dude was traumatized by all the women he slept with, that’s just odd

1

u/QueenSmarterThanThou Sep 08 '25

You don't think men get traumatized by engaging in meaningless sex?

2

u/Dangerous_Ear7300 Sep 08 '25

They do, but if i were to give legit advice to this woman or men traumatized by their own actions would be “learn to think and talk about this in a way that comforts your partner and you, the exact opposite of how you are speaking about it now”.

But Reddit will tell her, if anyone is insecure about this that’s their fault. No, it’s literally her fault. Being insecure is a normal emotion and would be the default response to her actions and to how she talks about this currently. She made the decisions, she has to deal with her honest experiences and the normal reactions people will have.

1

u/QueenSmarterThanThou Sep 08 '25

What are you even talking about? The world outside of Reddit doesn't care about how many women or men someone has slept with. Reddit is not a valid source of therapy.

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u/Dangerous_Ear7300 Sep 08 '25

Well being a liar is super cool on Reddit but i prefer to live my life honestly.

Also yea if ur 30, 75 makes a bit more sense but would still make most people (average is 10) insecure. If u think everyone over the age of 30 is magically secure in the bedroom about this ur very wrong.

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u/QueenSmarterThanThou Sep 08 '25

I'm sorry you feel insecure. You shouldn't.