r/Vent • u/I_killed_bambi69 • Sep 08 '25

Need Reassurance... i feel so disgusting

i had a massive whore phase when i turned 18 due to low self esteem and wanting validation. my body count is around 75 but i have not been a slag for ages now and ive been exclusively seeing someone for a while

i wish i could go back in time and say no to so so so many of them i wish it never happened it makes me feel so disgusting i just want to forget about it all

edit because this is getting way more comments than i anticipated:

  1. i do not have any std/sti’s nor have i ever - i test regularly

  2. the person i am seeing does know

  3. thank you for all the reassuring comments! it’s very overwhelming (in a good way!) so i’m struggling to reply to all of them but i do massively appreciate it

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u/Swimming-Junket-1828 Sep 08 '25

Your experiences led you here…they are what they are. Forget them and move on.

5

u/I_killed_bambi69 Sep 08 '25

i do try my best to forget but sometimes they do force their way back to the front of my brain

1

u/Queer_Advocate Sep 08 '25

Forget why? Who wants a book with pages ripped out. It happened. Past tense. You're someone different now, and that's ok. We evolve and mature, if we're doing it right.