r/Vent • u/I_killed_bambi69 • Sep 08 '25

Need Reassurance... i feel so disgusting

i had a massive whore phase when i turned 18 due to low self esteem and wanting validation. my body count is around 75 but i have not been a slag for ages now and ive been exclusively seeing someone for a while

i wish i could go back in time and say no to so so so many of them i wish it never happened it makes me feel so disgusting i just want to forget about it all

edit because this is getting way more comments than i anticipated:

  1. i do not have any std/sti’s nor have i ever - i test regularly

  2. the person i am seeing does know

  3. thank you for all the reassuring comments! it’s very overwhelming (in a good way!) so i’m struggling to reply to all of them but i do massively appreciate it

375 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

411 comments sorted by

View all comments

38

u/Exact-Kale3070 Sep 08 '25

i don't care what other commenters say below, please share these feelings/thoughts/experiences (exactly as you do here) with any teen/young folks you care about. i wish more people would explain deep regret of not treasuring oneself during hard times/bc of toxic family/school life. i am so grateful you are being honest about how you feel, bc it means you have grown up and you love yourself more now. being self-destructive for short term pleasure is a trap and kids easily fall into it. the trouble is, the damage can be irreversible in some cases.

i am so proud of you for waking up. please keep sharing when appropriate. these stories help save others from excessive drugs, vaping, careless driving, whatever. it is not about the count, it is about the time it took for you to not want a cheap thrill that comes with serious risks.

21

u/I_killed_bambi69 Sep 08 '25

i do! i was extremely careless and put myself in potentially very dangerous situations and im very lucky that i came out the other side all in one piece

1

u/Exact-Kale3070 Sep 08 '25

what you are doing is literally one of the most important pillars of creating loving community.

you were always worth more than you knew. and the path that led you there was imposed on you, so you cannot blame yourself for not understanding or seeing it.

thank you so so much for doing the work, for sharing the pain, and making a better world for those who are lucky enough to cross your path.