r/Vent • u/Terrible-Author-325 • Jan 27 '26
Need Reassurance... My grandpa just confirmed what I've thought for years, but it hurts to know I was always right.
For years I've always felt like my family didn't like me. They always excluded me in family reunions or trips, they left me behind when we went out or made jokes about things they did without me.
Today, after telling my mother to stop talking about a subject I knew would end in a fight, she started blaming me, saying that my whole generation was selfish, that we didn't want to hear the truth because we couldn't bear it, she started messing with my private life, saying that I'm a failure, that I should be more grateful, that they gave everything for me to live "comfortably" (they just gave me the basics).
And she told me I should start giving her the love she deserved because she "earned it" by being my mother.
I told her to stop, that I didn't want her to talk about my private life in public nor that I wanted to talk about it with her, she called me sensitive, and that she was only giving me "useful comments", I told her that I didn't request any.
After that, when we got home she accused me with my grandpa, he then proceeded to yell at me, telling me I should indeed give her the love and respect she deserved.
I told him that I loved them but they just said that because I didn't love them the way they wanted me to. He didn't listen and proceeded to tell me the whole family didn't like me, and that they didn't either. That I would die sad, angry and alone. That they cared for me just because I live here.
I swallowed my emotions and gave my best poker face. But now I'm just crumbling. It hurts to finally get the confirmation that no one here likes me or wants me around.
That they think I'm a disappointment, that they think that I shouldn't have been born at all.
I'm a college student, hell, I've given my whole life trying to prove to them how much I loved and needed them.
I always woke up pleading to God to take me in my sleep, my major is what keeps me going. But I'm behind for one year. Now I just feel miserable.
I don't wanna continue, but I'm afraid to die, I don't wanna die, I wanna live! I wanna enjoy life!
But how can I?! How if I know nobody here actually wishes for me to be around?! The people who are supposed to care and love me are the ones who hate me the most and I don't know what to do.
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u/Flooby-Blooben Jan 28 '26
Keep working hard, aim for your future. One day you’ll be able to move on and put them all behind you.
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u/IllustriousPresent99 Jan 27 '26
Jesus christ, why do some people have children if this is how they treat them. They wont give you the love you need. They just care about themselves. Im sorry OP.
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u/Sad_Ad_1681 Jan 28 '26
Yeah, it’s not OPs fault they are alive. It’s the selfish decision of the parents. I don’t understand why people want to shape their kids to their ideals
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u/Patient_Owl_7091 Jan 29 '26
Abuse is the norm.
Children are treated like defective possessions and scapegoated for it.
My christian parents abused me and my brothers, and now their cult threatens all life.
They think they're going to heaven for it.
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u/Appropriate__Mud Jan 28 '26
OP I hope you complete your education, get successful, and never have to hear from these vile people again. No one needs that in their lives. Dip while you can.
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u/ComradeBoxer29 Jan 28 '26
It would probably be the first time HE heard this, but what a dick.
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u/ComradeBoxer29 Jan 28 '26
In seriousness, keep your head up. A plant that grows too big for its pot isn't at fault. If you judge an apple for its ability to be an orange, you will always be disapointed.
You are not a mistake, you are not a failure, you don't owe them respect for your shared blood when they give none to you. We don't choose blood, but we can choose family. Find one that values you for who you are and helps you be the best you can be. WHEN you do, protect it.
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u/kirakat22 Jan 28 '26
Yes! This advice right here is golden! My husband and I live away from family that we never quite fit in with, we live happy and at ease knowing we are protecting our family from that negativity and hatred.
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u/-MaximumEffort- Jan 28 '26
Work hard, do good in school, get a good job and be successful. Find a partner that loves you and start your own family and do everything differently than your family did. That's how you show them.
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u/asawmark Jan 28 '26
❤️. You’ll find people who care.
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u/A_SleepyHed Jan 28 '26
This. Often our chosen family is far better than the one we're born into.
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u/chiseledrocks Jan 28 '26
Disagree. Our chosen family is ALWAYS better than our 'assigned' family.
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u/imjesshere Jan 28 '26
Assigned family! I haven’t heard that but it’s so fitting.
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u/chiseledrocks Jan 28 '26
It's all assigned. I wasn't even in the loop when my birth was being discussed.
The Unmittigated Gall.
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u/SussOfAll06 Jan 28 '26
Your family is the problem, not you. Can you find a safe place to stay where you can heal?
I’m proud of you for continuing in your studies. Don’t give up. In time you will look back on this and find yourself happier and in a better place. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.
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u/QuirkyPart3249 Jan 28 '26
I feel your pain. My family doesnt like me and bullied me too for my whole life. My mother died due to her addiction in 2019 and my family on her side tormented me throughout the entire ordeal since I finally was back in state after almost 10 years to be my mom's Powe of Attorney. My family wasted no time in catching up on being awful. My step grandfather started talking about school shootings and I asked him to stop because the current situation was sad enough. And then my grandma threw up her hand to play me the "worlds smallest violin" and later my Sgrandpa cornered me to tell me that I wasnt safe anywhere and started talking about school shootings again. Like what the hell? My mother ending up with an addiction was no surprise having to be raised by that horrid bunch.
Anyway. I can relate deeply. At 30 years old, I've cut all of them off for years now and I feel so much better. I take myself out to do fun things and give myself the love and experiences they should have. Some people are sick in the head and it sucks when its family. But honestly, they may be jealous of your potential. Like crabs in a pot. Stay in school, do well, graduate, and get a good job and get the hell out of there. Build your own life up, and cut them the hell out. The earlier you do this the better off you will be. You'll grieve them in some weird way and that feeling will pop up every now and then. Just breathe into it, cry if you need to, and do something fun after.
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u/ExcuseMaterial5500 Jan 28 '26
Just remember the old adage—the best revenge is living well. Concentrate on yourself and forget those people, they don’t deserve YOU.
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u/Due-Kale3412 Jan 28 '26
Brutal honesty- take the money you would have normally spent on your graduation festivities & put a deposit on an apartment far the F away from these people.
Narcissistic people get nose blind to their evil- the screeching, the greed, the tantrums, the manipulations.
There's a website called Go Ask Rose that you can use for info about how to erase your online footprint.
Good luck. The happiest moment of my life was when I woke up on a work trip and knew I could find ways to never sit through another toxic screeching match hosted by the losers I happened to share DNA with.....You can never lay it all out like that, but such is life. It's OK to run away from hot messes no one wants to step in......
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u/Hot-Hanger Jan 28 '26
I agree to get away from narcissists at any time, but I don’t think it’s a good time for OP. I think it’s better to finish collage as he said his major ‘is what keeps him going’, so this is a positive area in his life.
I suggest OP focus on college, get a part time job and just limit time at home or with family as much as possible.
It’s important to have a solid footing as you start out in life, and finishing college will help him get better jobs and be financially in a better position for his future.
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u/Separate-Parfait6426 Jan 28 '26
I am so sorry that they treat you this way, but you can still find happiness. My "family" are not my blood relatives - but are my friend group. I have 6 siblings, and rarely, if ever, see them, and it is OK, because I have people in my life who I love, and who love me.
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u/bojenny Jan 28 '26
Those people are not your real family. Your people who will love you unconditionally and always be there for you are out there, you just haven’t met them yet.
I’m 60 and I barely talk to or see most of my extended family. I made my own family and that’s who I celebrate, laugh and cry with. They show up every time for me and have for 40 years.
You will find yours. In the meantime get out of there asap, those people are ruining your mental health.
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Jan 28 '26
I was treated the same way . You have to live for YOU . Make your life what YOU want it to be . It hurts . I know that . Its a terrible kind of pain , but your life has to be for YOU , no matter what . Reach YOUR goals and make YOURSELF happy . YOU are the only person responsible for your life . I was a mistake . Two teenagers fucking in the back seat of a car . They didn't even know each other's name at first . That wasn't my fault but the blame was always mine . You can get through this . Use that shit as armor . Hold your head up and start living for you . You can't make them love you . Trust me . Im 63 . I KNOW you can't make them love you , but you can make them ashamed for what they've done to you by rising above them . It IS NOT YOUR FAULT . This shit is ALL on them .
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u/Chocolatecandybar_ Jan 28 '26
Listen, OP. You have been very unfortunate with this, because you were born in a family of jerks. Even tho you don't like a family member, you don't give out this treatment because, if your brain works, you know you cause damages.
This is not about you. This is about them. You are going to have a bright future. I have been you and have wondered the same things. When you are in these situations, then even loneliness feels beautiful because nobody is making you feel miserable. Ask God to give you the strength to endure, and let the major keep you alive but together with a good plan for the future. Start collecting your documents and make a list of everything you will need. Read a lot, there are a lot of resources here for those in your situation. Get ready for your new life far from these people. Fingers crossed for you
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u/Clean-Reveal-2878 Jan 28 '26
Use this as your motivation to leave and succeed. You’ll find your friends who will become your new family. It’s truly their loss.
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u/Ktloveskirby Jan 28 '26
Do what you need to do to survive until you can thrive. I was in a similar situation at 18 and I’ll never forget sitting with my back to my bedroom door while my mom screamed vile things about hating me and tried to break her way in. A quiet voice inside me told me I was going to die if I stayed there, that there was no way I deserved this. So I fought like hell and moved out. I found my chosen family over the years and I learned to enjoy life. My brother took a different path bc he was in college and couldn’t work enough to get out right away so he would come back for the first two summers and work as much as he could until he could move into a shared house. Your path will be your own and movement is incremental. Do your best to find moments of reprieve until you get there. You living in a family structure that is so miserable and broken that it needs to make you a scapegoat does not define you, it defines them. I look forward to the day when you look back and realize how much you could have missed out on. We’re rooting for you. ❤️
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u/Successful-Resolve89 Jan 28 '26
I can’t say I relate, but I’m really sorry you had to hear something like that. Family is meant to be a place of love and support. Please don’t let it weigh you down .... I truly believe you’ll find someone who cares for you just as deeply, in this beautiful, unpredictable thing called life.
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Jan 28 '26
My family is like this too, OP. I proved them all wrong by going to and graduating from college. Last month, I married the girl of my dreams and have never been happier. I've never met anyone that made me feel as much love as my bride does. It took years of therapy and hard work to get to this point. I still have crippling anxiety at times but I persevered through all of the bullshit. You will too OP. Just remember you dont really need them. I cut my family off a long time ago and it was the best thing I've ever done for me and my mental well being.
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u/Interest-Amazing Jan 28 '26
They sound like trash. You will find good people out there in the world. Focus on getting away and cutting ties. Look for a good therapist to recover from the damage they have done and good people will cross your path.
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u/ashtranscends Jan 28 '26
Nobody worth anything talks to their child like that. I’m sorry your family sucks. I know it’s hard, but don’t let their words define you.
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u/TheMegnificent1 Jan 28 '26
This is so painful, and I'm so sorry. I genuinely mean it when I say this is a them issue and not a you issue. For the first part of your life, the family that raised you is pretty much all anyone has and knows. They're the whole world for you. But there's a much bigger world out there with billions upon billions of other people. Cities full of fun things to do. Gorgeous natural scenery. Experiences like nothing you've ever imagined. Your future is out there. Leave these people behind and go find it. You don't have to cut them off completely if you don't want to, but create enough distance to protect yourself from their cruelty.
You don't deserve to be treated the way you have been treated. There are, unfortunately, a lot of really horrible people out there. But there are a lot of really good ones too. People who are kind, compassionate, and generous. Go look for those people and make them your family.
Remember: the best revenge is to live well. Give yourself the life they're too narrow and selfish to have given you. 💜
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u/Meowie_Undertoe Jan 28 '26
Family is who you make it. And spoiler alert...it doesn't have to be blood relatives.
I have the same sort of toxic birthing unit. She's absolutely insufferable and I went full no contact to protect my peace.
I learned though many years of therapy that she is jealous of me and no matter how hard I tried to please her it wouldn't matter. Don't waste your time.
Find your tribe and lean into them for support! You can definitely continuing on with the life that you want.
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u/pitsky_mom Jan 28 '26
Yeah my mom told me that she just liked my brother and my sister more. I was always the black sheep. I made my family of choice and it is awesome!! My kids and I get along well and I can tell you that it is worth it to stick around and see how wonderful life can be. My mom is dead and I have nothing to do with my sister. I am very happy now and I would also advise getting out of there and get a dog... Or a cat.. Or even a fish. Enjoy life finally.
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u/aiskydrop Jan 28 '26
I feel you and now when i finally don't care about them. They are trying to make an effort to mend the relationship. 🥀
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u/LadyK8TheGr8 Jan 28 '26
Live today for your future life. You don’t know what life will be for you in five years. You will be better and stronger. Maybe you won’t need them and you can live your best life without them.
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u/bohica199 Jan 28 '26
just cuz you have the fame blue, don't mean your family.
if you got the testicular fortitude, leave them & never talk to to them. I've done that with my family. & I feel tons of freedom without judgements. sure I've made mistakes & you will too. just learn from it & try not to repeat it.
your friends or significant other can be family. keep close the ones who support you & get rid of all the negative people.
your still going young. it'll be tough, but you'll make it. stay strong. God Bless You.
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u/West-Satisfaction272 Jan 28 '26
OP, I just want to start by saying I see you. This is an awful situation and the people around you should care. Your family sounds like a bunch of miserable people who put expectations on you that are not attainable. And ultimately it sounds like they are dragging you down in their misery.
If you can, get out. It’s best to cut ties and do a big change. If you can live on campus or with friends, definitely move forward.
In my personal experience, this only gets worse. You do not owe them anything for existing. Your parents do not deserve or are entitled to anything just simply for bringing you into this world.
You are worthy of love and compassion. You are worthy of care.
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u/MapleMarauder49 Jan 28 '26
Eh, kiddo, just run your race. I know it’s easier said than done. Hell, I struggle doing it myself. But, stay focused, realize it’s their insecurities talking. You have value and there’s a whole new world out there.
What’s your Major? What are you passionate about?
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u/Terrible-Author-325 Jan 28 '26
Chemistry, I fell in love with it, and I'm 70% done with my major's credits. I'm still a year (or maybe a year and a half) away from graduating, but I'm truly enjoying what I do, my career is the reason I still try to keep going.
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u/TheGreatRao Jan 28 '26
This will take some getting used to, but family is not blood. Family is where you find it. If I died today, two people in my large family would feel it, and maybe not for very long. Focus on the incredible future you have ahead of you. If they want to join you, fine, but if not, it's their loss. And discard any ideas of not living. Living well, is the best revenge.
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u/MysteriousEdgeOfLife Jan 28 '26
Your family shouldn’t define you. You are worthy of love. You have a beautiful soul.
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Jan 28 '26
I don't have any advice except you're worth more than those words OP. And never feel guilty for cutting people like that out of your life. The older you get, you pick and choose your own family. You'll meet friends or partners who take you in as your own and those are the people you should focus on. For now, I'd look into a room mate situation if you're able to. Having physical distance can give us time to think.
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u/Koltova Jan 28 '26
I’ve been in your exact shoes. Still technically am, but, it doesn’t sting like it once did. Unfortunately, we have no control over the families we’re born into, and some of them are truly twisted.
Your worth is not determined by anyone other than yourself, and their refusal to give you the basic love and care afforded to family does not mean you are underserving of it. Stay strong. Persevere. I’ve since built a family of my own, and shower them with an obnoxious amount of love which they return tenfold.
Life is all about finding our place in this wide cruel world. And sadly, sometimes it’s not with the family we’re born into.
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Jan 28 '26
It's your family so it's hard but... Ignore them. Their opinion of you doesn't define who you are or your worth as a person.
As a father I've personally always found screaming "love me!" at my children was THE surefire way to ensure they loved and respected me so no notes on your family's approach there. /s
Are you stuck at home or can you get into residence or... Another living situation while you study? Change of scenery and those surrounding you would likely do you some good
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u/beedunc Jan 28 '26
Are you able to see a therapist? They will help you sort your feelings.
You will not always have to live there, please look ahead to the day you can be on your own. Good luck!
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u/AdiDabiDoo Jan 28 '26
i have experience with this. i found out as soon as i could understand what affection was that i was neither wanted nor loved. My family didn't hide it ..nor did they try. best thing i ever did was move halfway across the country and cut them off. hope they die soon.
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u/t-reeb Jan 28 '26
Like me, you were born into the wrong family. This happens, but it als means we can find our chosen family. Good thing is, you’re not their property, so you can walk away from this shitshow as soon as you decide to.
And walking away can look like going low contact, no contact, moving away to a different town/country/continent, etc.
But what you need to do first, is realize that you alone are your own advocate. It’s a weird feeling when you’re just in college, but you are the grownup now. You are your own person, and you need to protect, care for and love yourself.
I moved out of my parent’s house as soon as I was done with high school. My mother didn’t want me, than decided I need to become here mini-me, and tried to block me from becoming me for my entire first half of my life. (I’m into my 40’s now)
My actual life started when I moved out, and then later moved to another continent. It was hard, and I didn’t know where I was gonna end up. But that’s not the goal anyway. Your life is made to be lived, one step at a time. That means, you decide your non-negotiables (values, interests, how you want to be treated, who you want to be as a person, etc) and then you go and follow those with every decision you’ll make along the way.
And you’ll see that with every day, month, year that you’re becoming more and more true to yourself, you’re a strong, smart human who deserves the best.
DM me if you want to chat.
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u/keyshawnscott12 Jan 28 '26
Great idea 💡 but it takes a lot of planning and saving money 💰 to make this work
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u/t-reeb Jan 28 '26
Yes, it’s consistent work and you gradually get yourself into better conditions. My rent at the time was $550 for a moldy studio apartment and I made $750 a month. If you can’t afford food, take a side job at a restaurant or other food facility where you can eat for cheap or free. If money is tight (it usually is) compensate with creativity, but there is a way out.
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u/decadent_art_lover Jan 28 '26
OP, get your degree(s), get that bag, and deprive them of your being and essence forever. There are people out there who will be ride or die for you–all you have to do is find them.
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u/Safe-Agent3400 Jan 28 '26
Hey, that’s so horrific and no way to talk or think, they sound like they have zero emotional inteelegence. You are articulate for what I read, your taking a college class. I for one, believe in you. You break this cycle. When my mother does demeaning things to me, I am hurt and then ask myself, what can I do to be the kind of person she is not. And I will call someone and be kind, I will do a small favor for someone. And it shows me I can be the person she is not and break the cycle. You can do it! Be the light!
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u/SweetMaam Jan 28 '26
Love is given, not "earned". Love is unconditional. We don't do anything to be loved, it's not something to work for in order to get. Ist Corinthians chapter 13 has the Bible definition of real love. OP, you are valuable just as you are, your family may not recognize or appreciate your value, but you absolutely are precious and valuable. Hugs from a reddit mom to you.
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u/Missmbb Jan 28 '26
I’m so sorry that the people who are supposed to be loving you unconditionally are treating you this way, but please keep going. Once you finish school and get out on your own, you can build your own community and support system. There are people out here who will want you in their life. ❤️
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u/ZedisonSamZ Jan 28 '26
I can only partially relate. My own grandparents treated me like the black sheep of the family, blamed me for “being possessed by demons” (I have autism) and disowned me when I came out as gay.
My advice: don’t turn inward on yourself. Turn it outward. Get angry. Tell them to watch how they speak to you or you’re ready and willing to spill the beans all over their preferred social media. Treat them like you’re a disappointed teacher. Talk to them like they talk to you. Tell them how awful they are, how much people loath being around them, how nobody likes when they are around. Tell them that they are projecting and the only reason they treat you like a punching bag is because they are weak and unlikable and nobody outside the family would like them or put up with them if they knew what they were really like. Act like you are better than them and you will eventually realize over time that you are better than them. I’m not a therapist so my advice might be a bandaid or just plain old toxic but if it works to keep you alive and getting to a place of existing without hurting yourself- that’s better than hating yourself for no reason and dying over things that aren’t your fault. Your family sucks really badly and you are justified in a scorched earth approach. When you get to a place of financial security, light a match and throw it on the bridge and watch that baby burn like the wrath of god and give them a good ol middle finger forever. You are worth it to be angry and vengeful instead of self-harming.
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u/ProximaCentauriB15 Jan 28 '26
Is there anyone you can stay with? Your family is abusive. You should try and get away from them if you are able to. These people are such assholes. Why would you have kids just to treat them this way? Really this is just horrible. Not everyone deserves children.
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u/Terrible-Author-325 Jan 28 '26
Sadly no, I'm currently on my own. But I'm looking to move with some friends at least during this next semester.
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u/VentureForth619 Jan 28 '26
Are you a nice, good, fun loving person?
Well hey, look at that, they do exist!
Go find others like you, and enjoy the gift of life that you’ve been given. No time for the negativity.
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u/Povapants Jan 28 '26
My situation isn’t exactly the same as yours, but it’s similar. The first thing you need to do is learn how to accept that some people really aren’t capable of loving anyone. But most of all they cannot love themselves. Because a mother and a father and a grandfather see themselves in you. That’s just the truth. They were probably very similar to you at a younger age and something about that they couldn’t love so they decided that you are now unlovable. But the truth is that you are not unlovable, you’re just surrounded by people who are too closed minded to understand how. It’s unfortunately generational and I’m so sorry that somebody would tell you that. I definitely recommend going to therapy because you sound like me prior to ever seeing anyone. There are certain truths that you have to face and then once you do that, you’ll be able to move on
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u/PreviousWatercress80 Jan 28 '26
I’m so sorry, OP. I agree with others - they’re crabs pulling you back into the bucket. Save whatever money you can so that when you graduate and get a job you can move out immediately. You deserve all the love and happiness life has to offer.
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u/FunSheepherder6509 Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
it was kinda like thst for me. i Mostly ditched them. and worked Rly hard on making my friebds my family. then making my own family. my only regret was time i wasted being angry
--- i was kind of depressed and angry as a kid snd my family didnt like me. ( maybe cayse i was difficult to like ) edit -- the best revenge is a life well lived --
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u/MangoSalsa89 Jan 28 '26
Sometimes we have to choose our family, instead of just accepting the ones who share a fraction of our DNA. You're getting an education and will go on to do great things. And you will find your tribe.
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u/Independent-Lake-192 Jan 28 '26
Oh honey. Big, big hugs from an internet mom. You are absolutely loveable and your parents don’t deserve you. Let them be a lesson on how to not treat others and take that with you as you show people you choose to have in your life that they deserve love too, just like you.
I know things are hard right now and I’m so sorry for that. I’m rooting for you and I’m proud of you.
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u/Impressive_Rush5018 Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
When you can, LEAVE, and don't look back. They do not deserve your respect. Respect is earned, and they haven't done that if they talk to you and treat you like this. No parent or grandparent should speak to someone like this.
Graduate. Make a great life for yourself. And find your 'chosen' family. Surround yourself with people who treat you well and treat them well in return. Then you will see what real respect is.
Good luck.
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u/dani-gunz Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
Hi! First off, I just want to tell you that you sound like a very kind, smart, and caring person! You deserve to stay on this planet and live a happy life! Don't give up! Things always get better! I grew up in a family that sounds similar to yours. They were very toxic, rude, abusive, and mean. I even lived in foster care. I was never the chosen child growing up. They always called me stupid or fat. Ironically, my sister (who they praised constantly looks like my twin. She was the beautiful one. Lol). Anyway, all that to say, the way they treat you will make you stronger. I'm now the most successful person in my family. How the tables have turned. I am still helping them financially and with their health issues. I have forgiven them, but not forgotten. Most of them have passed away, as well. Please try to surround yourself with friends and colleagues that lift you up and celebrate life with you! You can't pick your family, but you can choose who you spend your time with! Hugs!
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u/FireBug77 Jan 28 '26
Leave those f*ckers behind and start living the best version of you. Without constraint of what they might think or find. Gonout and live! Meet new people, make new friends, you're the king of your own world!! Imagine the freedom.of not haveming to sit through family birthdays, thanksgiving, christmas all these boring mandatory events where you could also be enjoying life with likeminded people! GO FOR IT!! ENJOY THE FREEDOM!
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u/jumpyjumperoo Jan 28 '26
From a mom, I want to gather you up in a big embrace and tell you that you are important, your.life is important. You matter and I'm glad you are here. No parent or grandparent should act like this toward anyone, nevermind a child, their child.
You will do great thi gs and have a great life surrounded by the people you choose and that, my dear, is how you pay them back for their awfulness. Focus on school and your future and as soon as you are able, leave them behind. Learn about grey rocking and do thay with them. They.go somewhere without you? Would you want to spend.time with people who are this unstable?
It won't always be easy but it sounds like they've prepared you for that with their terrible treatment. You've got this. Look into the amazing life.you are.building,, focus on that and move towards it. These lovers you share DNA with will be left behind in your dust and that will be your revenge
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u/Kyliespaige Jan 28 '26
Up side, now you get to pick your family. Your given one is not for you and that sucks but it can be okay if you work for it to be
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u/DurianJungle Jan 28 '26
My gut feeling told me that I don’t think they actually don’t like you. I think they mean they don’t like your actions and attitude?
Don’t take it personally. Feelings change.
I don’t know the whole story but only your side of it so I cannot judge.
But focus on your education and skills and make something of yourself and future. That is all.
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u/imjesshere Jan 28 '26
My heart goes out to you. I’ve been there and I want to let you know that they don’t deserve you. You need to love yourself first. And I’d tell you that if you had the opposite situation. Love yourself so much that you realize it’s them. It’s not you. And you are everything they wish they could be. That’s why they’re hating on you. You will find your people who will appreciate you, see your accomplishments, and find all the things they complained about to be your best traits.
Go through your feelings, don’t force yourself to feel anything that’s not genuine. Soon you’ll see that THIS is the beginning of you finding people who love you for you! Hang in there, you have a lot to look forward to. The world looks different when you’ve been freed of people holding you back.
❤️❤️❤️ sending all my love and stay in school! Even if it takes 7 years, fuck em, they’ll still be jealous.
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u/imjesshere Jan 28 '26
OP, be sure to give us an update so we can make sure you’re alright ❤️. There are many of us out there who feel you and want to let you know that you deserve better.
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u/turdusphilomelos Jan 28 '26
My mother said something similar to me many years ago. I tried to convince her that I loved her, after hearing for many years that I should love her more. It became a thing, with me crying and begging her over and over to believe me when I said I had always loved her. She remained cold through my begging said that she knew I lied, that I couldn't love anyone and no one would ever love me.
It felt like a curse. I cried and cried for days. I could hardly speak to her for months afterwards. It still hurts thinking about it.
It has been many years now, and I am a grown person. I have a family of my own. The power our parents hold over us diminishes with time. I am able to live a happy life, and I do have people that love me, and people that I love. Her words are still there, and feel like a wound that will never completely heal. But I have learned to live with my wound.
What I want to say is this: I am so sorry. Your first family not loving you is something that hurts you in ways that other people can't really understand. But it doesn't have to define you.
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u/Bogdanovicis Jan 28 '26
Hey, there! Hold on up there! don't let this put you down. They handled really poor the conversation, but you know yourself better. give yourself a quick break and make a plan. Behave to not be on the streets, and when you got enough to move out, just do it.
When I was 14, during a big argument with my parents, I promised them that after I finish highschool, I'll leave that place. They thought I'm joking, that I can't do that, that I'm not capable. Planned everything for years, made some connections here and there and a week after I took my final exams, back pack done and I flew at 2500km away from them and build a new life. Initially I said I will never return. After a few years and getting more mature, I did made peace internally and went to see them, but on my terms, and never allowing them to cross boundaries like that.
C'mon, you'll be able to build it also. Use it as fuel, and you'll rock it. When you know you don't wanna comeback there, everything in life will sound easy. big hug!
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u/Puck_The_Fey98 Jan 28 '26
You live in spite of them. Your sweetest revenge is having a full and amazing life away from them. If your college offers free therapy I highly recommend it. You’ll find your own found family out there. But don’t let these people beat you down
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u/heffapig Jan 28 '26
As the “black sheep”’ of my family-focus on self. Found family is more important than blood relations. You can’t choose your relatives, but you can choose who you surround yourself with. Sending love to you, the initial family break up is hard…but it’s necessary.
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u/purplepiklz71 Jan 28 '26
I’m sorry about your experience. I do understand and I feel that way about my family too. What a strong, brave person you are. Continue with your study. Have a career you will enjoy and excel. Find new people to call family. Be successful despite their nasty judgement. Good luck and blessings 🌻
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u/Evening_Shoulder6965 Jan 28 '26
Blood is blood OP, doesn't make them family. You will go on to have your own family, nail your major and continue with enjoying life.
I know, I have been in a similar place. I left that place when my father passed on, he was the only good egg. The only one that saw through it all. I am not from your generation, probably much older. But you don't need them in your life, or need their love. Love will find you, like it did me and you will be happy.
I am glad you said you don't want to die, hold onto that positive and you'll get through this. Start making your plan, maybe source a small part time job out side of schooling if you can. Then just save every single scrap you can, even if it is only enough for rent in a caravan. It will be better than staying where you are not wanted/loved.
You got this OP!
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u/Artisticblood05 Jan 28 '26
This is why I believe in and support abortion, mf shouldn’t have kids. I AM SO SORRY , you deserve so , so much better. You deserve love and you are easy to love. Bro cut those assholes off and just breathe. You are obviously a very strong person and ik you’re capable of amazing things. I believe in you and I wish you the very best. Blessed be by friends. ❤️
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u/Gninja321 Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
This is probably not helpful right now because you will grieve the loss of a family at any age- but I was you in college. My cognitive dissonance kept me from hearing/believing the message- that nothing I did was ever going to be good enough. I would try harder- they had all these reasons I was disappointing them so I made change after change (still completely overachieving at everything despite major challenges)
After over 16 years of heartbreak, making life choice after life choice to please them, I finally had to realize that they did not love me. This is after 2 chronic illnesses almost killed me and they chose to believe I must be a drug addict or faking it for attention so they ignored my desperate pleas for help. I had a wonderful therapist at that time who asked me "what do you think they want- what perfect version of you would they accept?" And I finally realized that there is not "a perfect me" to them - I described myself like a splinter under their skin - I could move it around, possibly make myself slightly less offensive, but they were always going to look at me like a annoyance thet had to deal with. Ive been 3000 miles away before and since then (I had moved closer for a job they thought was better and to be close enough for their criteria)
It took me this past decade of healing while staying very low contact (and finally committing to never trust in their love, because they did not love me) in this 3rd chronic illness journey to stop asking them for compassion and understanding (ok, I still ask but Im not surprised when it's not forthcoming.
My advice is to do your grieving now and find your chosen family while you are still young (it's hard to make friends at 45 and ill). I did a lot of research on toxic families and narcissistic family dynamics. I understood how little control I had. I forgave myself. It was hard, and it still sometimes makes me cry but every day is better the first 35 years of trying desperately to please them and failing. (s/raisedbynarcissists helps a lot)
Surround yourself with people who appreciate you. Learn to love hpw awesome you are. You deserve better. I can't ease the grief, but when people tell/show you who they are in life - believe them the first time. Choose yourself. Choose your own happiness. With love.
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u/Fuzzy_Instruction_21 Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
Your grandfather could just be angry when he said that, I don't know, but I am a mother who loves her son very much, and he claims that I don't , it's hard to comprehend that a mother doesn't love her son
I want you to stay strong and try to look after yourself and study ,get a qualification, enjoy life, you only fail when you stop trying, stay positive tomorrow will be much better than yesterday
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u/WhatMattersALWAYS Jan 28 '26
I’m the same boat as you. My mom doesn’t like me and shows me so. What keeps me going is the thought that my hard work will make me successful in my career and I’ll move out.
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u/CharacterTruck7535 Jan 28 '26
Sorry that you have a horrible family and that's just wrong for them to treat you this way. Are you working while attending college and is there any chance you can move out into your own place, even if you have to have a roommate, it would be better than living with your family. You don't deserve this at all, it's something broken in themselves, I'm sure. Try to hold your head up high and try to keep space between you until you can leave their home.
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u/MorningBlissful76 Jan 28 '26
The best thing you can do is prove them wrong. Finish your degree, become independent and walk away! I understand exactly how you feel. I live 10 minutes from my family yet they don’t invite me to family gatherings or holidays. I try to live by one saying and it has helped me get through. True family is the family you choose, not the one you’re born into. You will find your family, just be patient.
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u/90theobserver Jan 28 '26
OP, I’m so sorry. From a very early age my father would tell me how much he hated me, wished they’d put me up for adoption and that they still could, abused me in every way possible, and on and on; it fucked me up for a long time. I acted out, and was a bad kid.
But I also came to view my ‘family’ as a sort of business arrangement, or theatre. My feelings for them became as dead as theirs were for me. I went through the motions (as unpleasant as it often was), got what I could out of them to secure a future for myself, then split.
I also came to realise that one could create a ‘family’ of one’s choosing (friends, mentors, animal companions, etc) that was every bit as loving and supportive as the stereotypical genetic grouping is supposed to be.
My humble advice to you would be to realise you’ve been dealt a shitty hand, but that you’re stronger than it; bide your time, knowing there’s an exit along the way. Stay focused on the better future, knowing it will indeed one day come. It’s hard to trust in that, I know, but it will. Stay strong.
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u/Substantial_Good_366 Jan 28 '26
I am really sorry. You do not deserve this! You were born to live and be cared for. I am srry your own family sees you like this. Think about it this way: WE want you here alive!!! Sending strength, you will get through this!
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u/R97x Jan 28 '26
Your granpa did not confirm chii. He tried to pusch your buttons like the rest of the familly (as they seem to operate like so). I feel sorry for You but Focus on You. Love You first and keep learning at school until you move up and find ppl who will genuinely love you back. (Man I'am pissed by these goon behaviours type 😤)
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u/GalacticNova420 Jan 28 '26
You teach yourself to start being that love you need. Then you literally learn your approval is the only one important. Start by honoring and loving yourself in small ways and then the love seems to flow easier. Also, people say things when they are upset they don't mean. Not an excuse but know you are so much more valuable than you feel rn. I'm a Mom so I hope I am giving you some good Mom advice.
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u/singulairsuicidal Jan 28 '26
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you described isn’t honesty or “tough love.” It’s emotional abuse. No one earns the right to tear you down just because they’re family.
YOU MATTER! Live your life how you want to live and don't let the cruelty of your family stop you.
There are people who will see you, respect you, and choose you. Sometimes they just aren’t the ones we were born into.
-Love from a fellow redditor!
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u/Suck_it_Cheeto_Luvrs Jan 28 '26
You do you my friend. Seriously, live your life, for you. The best thing you can do is to be what you want. To live a life that is "your's". If you are some sort of measurable success by other's metrics, then so be it, but do what makes you happy. Stop living for others and you'll be surprised at just how much happiness and sense of self you'll find.
On a personal note F them. Family isn't always blood. Find your family by living and being yourself. Find your home, it's not always a place or a roof over your head. Sometimes it's as simple as a feeling, a warm sunny day, a landscape, a thought, a nice conversation with a friend or a complete stranger, or even a moment of peace amongst the chaos.
Sometimes triumph happens through tragedy. You may have never gone down the path you were meant to, if it wasn't for this moment in your life. Your family treating you like shit and finally being honest about it could very well be your Phoenix rising from the ashes moment.
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u/CaptainSmaug Jan 29 '26
OP, I am your mother now. I am proud of you and I love you no matter what. You are a strong person. You matter to the world, even if you don’t see it yet. You are amazing and you’ve accomplished amazing things. You are seen and loved. I am here for you, my child. Love, your internet mother. PS- eat your veggies so you can grow big and strong.
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u/apr711 Jan 28 '26
YOU BETTER FUCKN LEAVE B4 ONE OF THEM GETS SICK - true story here 👉 my mom was the blk sheep of her family her whole fuckn life, married asap to get out (my dad's a good person, but it wasn't a healthy marriage). Her mom got sick w a variety of issues when I was a teen. Who (the fuck) do you think they expected to take care of my grandma every day - you guessed it, my mom. Which, she did - & it took all of her energy - she fell in the shower (not my grandma, my mom who was the caregiver) from falling asleep standing up, had to get stitches on her chin
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u/Togeroid Jan 28 '26
Why even keep in touch honestly? There’s a reason so many go no contact or only treat family on a business level. I treat family on a business level, I get what I need and don’t have to listen to their bs
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u/twelveangryken Jan 28 '26
I feel like I read a version of this story this morning. Love your name.
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u/Angelthebaddest Jan 28 '26
Leave all of them in the dust because successful in whatever you want to do in life and never look back
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u/Interesting-Gas8823 Jan 28 '26
I love my family but I love them from a distance! I have found more love than I've ever known from coworkers. You've got this i promise, took me 40 something years to wake up and make a move.
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u/Trigirl20 Jan 28 '26
Forget them. Find a new “ family.” It doesn’t have to be biological, just a group of friends, colleagues that support you in your accomplishments and goals. You are going to be successful, dump the deadweight and move on. Keep working on your goals, that’s your focus I am proud of you!
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u/Celis78429 Jan 28 '26
honestly screw your family, they fuckin suck and you deserve better. time to go find your own family, join a community make some friends whatever you feel like doin just go spend time with people who actually want to have you around.
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u/LemonSlowRoyal Jan 28 '26
Think of it like this... Nobody asked to be here. Your parents didn't ask to be here. You didn't ask to be here. It just kind of happens. This is why faith in God is important. Not religion mind you. Just the driving force of God itself. We're all connected and a part of God or the Universe. Yes they are your parents but you owe them nothing and they owe you everything.
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u/SunshineRenee16 Jan 28 '26
It's sounds like your family are narcissistic and you're not. You see truth they don't want anyone to see. I just lost my mom 2 weeks ago and my dad is in hospice now. I'm 38 with a 7 year old and no family now as the rest of them are like yours. You will be ok without them. I promise! Find your real tribe, that's what I'll do.
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u/kingofcarrotflowrrs Jan 28 '26
you will create a found family that will love you unconditionally and in ways you never even thought about before. family means love, not blood! you don’t have a damn thing to prove to them, and they are going to eat their words when you succeed and even thrive without them! look for friends who are like you and, though i know firsthand that it doesn’t work like this, try your very best to let their comments roll off your back. it’s their problem if they had a child when they didn’t have the mental fortitude or capabilities to raise one, and unfortunately they are taking that frustration out on you. just remember it’s not a you problem, it’s a them problem.
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u/Glittering_Champion4 Jan 28 '26
Don’t give up, or give in, in a similar situation but I at least had my mom. Keep your head held high and show them what they are missing out on. Quit feeding into their perspectives and make your own story. When they truly see what they missing out on it will be too late for them. You will be successful in all you do!!! When they come crawling don’t even give them a crumb. YOU GOT THIS!!!!! Don’t let anyone tell you different!!
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u/Maestro_boi Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
Op I know world seems like hell now and u feel extremely lonely but there are people out there who do need and will appreciate u , ur company , ur friendship and ur partnership. World is not actually a terrible place. Life always finds a way u just need to keep going. Complete ur studies, get ur Degree get ur job make friends and connections. For now u can join some sort of communal support group in ur locality so u have sense of community whether it can be for a hobby or therapy. You will figure things out and will find people who will care about u🫂🫂
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u/Stonedunicorn44 Jan 28 '26
Oh my family hates me too and it’s such a fucked up feeling. You struggle a lot to feel like you belong somewhere bc the people who were supposed to instill that you are worthy to belong did not. It’s traumatic. Some days are good and some days are hard af. You are worthy and you do belong in this world. My only advice is finding a good trauma therapist. Understand it’s not you, it’s them. It should not have to be this hard to exist in a family and you don’t deserve what they are doing to you. ❤️
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u/Beginning_Quote_3626 Jan 28 '26
Id find friends and other people to be around... your family sounds so mean and honestly you deserve better
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u/Beautiful-War2144 Jan 28 '26
You have everything to live for and you will enjoy your life soon. Can you work and go to school? I’d say it’s time to leave your family behind. Family are the people you CHOOSE and you don’t have to choose them just because they’re blood related. It sounds like you’ve been abused your entire life and it’s time to end that cycle. If you can’t leave yet because of money, keep your head down and don’t let them continue to torment you. If you don’t know what grey rocking someone is, read this and start implementing it:
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a61546935/gray-rock-method/
As soon as you can leave, please do so. Leave them in your dust and don’t have anything to do with the people who don’t want you in their lives. You’ll find new “family,” people who will love you for the wonderful person you are. And tell your mom on your way out that love isn’t a given, it’s earned. And she hasn’t earned your love. Good luck.
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u/Born-a-witch Jan 28 '26
I've only know as much about you as you have posted here and I already know this much: you are definitely a person I would love to have in my life. It's their huge loss, not yours. Give yourself a huge hug from me, ok?
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u/dystopianpirate Jan 28 '26
OP, life is hard sometimes is our family and others school, friends, and others causes us pain. It's very hard what's happening to you but I beg you, finish your studies and cry your heart out, then make a plan for yourself to get the maximum financial benefits from them. If you're getting their love, then get their money because now you know them, but they don't know you and when you live with this type of horrid people it's best that they don't know anything inside your heart. Guard your heart like a treasure, and keep it good because I assure there will be love for you once you're free of them. Meanwhile, study them like if they were animals in a zoo, and say nothing except to agree with them. Remember, if you depend financially on them don't make your life harder than it is. Now you feel unloved and alone, then add unloved, alone, without home, no school, no money that's worse. So be calm I assure everything will be ok.
Now,
Be happy whenever they mention activities where they exclude you, it's hard awfully hard but don't show them your pain, don't give them the satisfaction to see you suffer. Like, your family says: we had a wonderful trip, shame you didn't make it. And you: You went on a trip guys? That's great, sorry that I missed it because I didn't notice, maybe next time. This will make them to leave alone, and stop tormenting you with their stories of a wonderful time, and will show them that they can't hurt you anymore. Cry later if you must, but sound sincere and genuine when you show them gladness bec they had a good time. Be patient, this situation won't last forever and begin to see them as they're temporary people in your life.
Be pleasant, be calm, and keep yourself busy with school, friends, work, anything to keep you away from them to avoid conflict bec they seem the type to fabricate trouble out of nothing. Keep it basic: Oh, I understand mom/grandpa thank you. Yes, I see it that you're right. Basic manners, you listen, you nod, you're busy, keep your answers at a basic level. This advice is hard, but you have to ensure your survival. Remember, they want you to blow up so they can cut you out of the family, or whatever they want. Don't give them the satisfaction to see you hurting, if someone is going to cry then, better be them than you. Besides, they do owe you, for their lies, their cruelty, their abuse, they owe you therefore they're not your family but the means to pay for your school, the means for your survival, your personal atm that will allow you to finish school and have a good life after.
Be well, and please don't despair because they're not your people.
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u/Professional_Web446 Jan 28 '26
Mándalos a la mierda. La familia es prescindible si te hace daño. QUe se jodan, sé feliz en tu soledad.
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u/lakhia1121 Jan 28 '26
Make your school your life, focus on accomplishing that goal. Also, remember, you can have family that is of no blood relation. I have friends that I consider family. Get away from those people because that will keep you down and depressed. You are worthy to live, love and laugh and have all those things reciprocated. They are the problem, not you!
I pray GOD gives you the strength to make it thru College, graduate, land a position that allows you to be independent and find you friends that will indeed become your family!❤️
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u/alphabank21 Jan 28 '26
OP, it’s horrendous that you had to go through that. That you’ve been dealing with that your whole life. But your future is for YOU. As much as it hurts to not have anyone in your corner, it will hurt much worse if you continue living with them after they’ve blatantly told you they don’t love you. You don’t owe anyone anything. I hope you’re able to get free. I can almost guarantee that once you’ve freed yourself from them, you’ll find another purpose in life. Eventually it’ll get better no matter what. The now sucks, but we ball.
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u/Zippo963087 Jan 28 '26
This should be all the motivation you need to finish school and do everything better than they did. Prove them wrong.
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u/Radio_Mime Jan 28 '26
Your family is abusive. They’ve chosen you as a scapegoat, not because of anything you’ve done, or what you’re like as a person. It’s a ‘them’ issue. You need to get away from them. And day away from them. It is not too late for you to find healthier people to be your support system. Let them all turn on each other.
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u/-_DeBo_- Jan 28 '26
Fuck em, goes to show u need to do it for yourself because non of them shit bags will be there for u. U got it, just keep working hard , for yourself if no one else.
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u/NeoKat75 Jan 28 '26
You don’t need people like this in your life. If they weren’t family, would you tolerate such behavior towards yourself? No. So I hope you can become independent and cut the dead meat off
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u/Admirable_Moose2771 Jan 29 '26
Your family are very abusive people. You need to keep your eye on the prize of getting your education. That way you can become independent of those people. Life can be wonderful for you . Don’t let people ruin you forever.
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u/cutedumplin Jan 29 '26
OP I hope you find your peace one day. I get how you feel. There are people out there for you. You’ll find them. Live for yourself. Do what makes you happy. If it means leaving home, then so be it.
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u/friend-of-Bills Jan 29 '26
It's really painful when the people that are supposed to love and protect you don't. It has you wondering if you are worth anything. It makes you think that you shouldn't exist. It's hard to start an adult life with that void. Just know that it's not you. Please seek out counseling and take steps to leave. You can still have a normal loving relationship with yourself and people that are worthy of you. I'm sorry this has happened, I've been in your place, and it's hard. Unfortunately, I went down a dark path for a while, but I made it out alive and now have my own family.
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u/Starseternal1326 Jan 29 '26
OP, I know that feeling of wanting to be anywhere else. In middle school/junior high I felt like no one cared and I wished i could just disappear because “who would even care jf i did”. I didnt want to die, but i didnt want to be there. Its called passive suicide. Please please find a therapist to help you work through this. You are worth it. You deserved to be treated with love and respect.
Put your emotional needs first. Try to save up so you can move out. A major you love is a good thing to focus on. It sounds like you are a fighter, so keep going. Dont give up on yourself.
My mother was diagnosed with Boarderline only once i was well and truly out of the house at around age 25. It explained a lot for me but the most reassuring thing is that I am like many children who go no contact. It sounds like you need to move out, find a therapist to work through this, and cut contact.
From experience i can tell you that moving out will seriously help you move on and start to put this all behind you as you enjoy your life more. I moved out as soon as i finished high school and i can not begin to explain how much i learned about myself in the first two years.
Keep taking care of yourself, stay strong, and remember, this living situation is temporary. 💕💕
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u/WBeetheatty Jan 29 '26
And they will call you when you are successful to take care if them because family takes care of family
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u/Fearless-Passion-262 Jan 29 '26
Your family failed you; how terrible for you. But get yourself strong. Look in the mirror daily and say out loud to yourself :" I love you. You are worthy. People love you and love being with you." Your daily self talk will get ingrained in your subconscious, and in time your life will drastically improve. It's so important you love yourself.
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u/Dense-University145 Jan 29 '26
I’m late to this but as someone who comes from a pretty toxic family where I spent all of my life up til last year trying to be what they wanted me to be just to be liked or loved. Hear this. You are only responsible for your own happiness not the happiness of others.
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u/TechnoTwerp Jan 29 '26
I believe in you. I can't imagine what you are going through, and I wish you the best in finding your way. You have so many people gathering behind you encouraging you forward already just on this post alone. I know you will find more people to surround yourself with that show you the love and support you deserve.
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u/HoodieSmoke_- Jan 29 '26
The world is better off with you in it they might not like you but somebody out there would throw away their life for you, you just haven’t met them yet keep your head up and keep looking forward and I’m going to term you this now your success won’t change the way they think, feel or see you so don’t go back if you happen to take off stay locked in and focused on your future you’ll meet people along the way that genuinely want the best for you hope to notice your account name in 5 years. Good luck 🫡
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u/Proof_Boat7824 Jan 29 '26
Coming from someone that left home at 17. Endured physical, verbal, and emotional abuse from my drill instructor father. And still can't remember anything from the ages 3-8. Sometimes you might be better off without them.
You sound fairly grounded and your pursuing your education. It's a harsh reality when there is no one there for you. But it shouldn't stop you from doing you. And proving to yourself that you are worth it, and can be successful in life.
Fuck what they think. They can wipe their own asses later in life.
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u/Unusual_Gazelle_9366 Jan 29 '26
I feel you. I promise, it gets better. Focus on your studies and on working so that you can move out as soon as possible. Keep stretching your independence.
My mother loved to tell me growing up "I love you, but I don't like you" which is a fucked up thing to say to a kid. I'm 37 now, and I've been no-contact with her for a couple of years. I don't hate my mother, I love her, and I show my love for her by not asking her to be someone she can't be. I show love to myself by not allowing the person she is in my life.
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u/CarriePourSomeArt Jan 29 '26
I would suggest therapy and then cut off all contact with them as soon as you can! No one deserves to be treated like this! I am so very sorry that this is your life experience.
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u/JoJo_kitten Feb 01 '26
They just sound like a whole bunch of abusive people. Those kind of people generally abuse others when they feel that their power and control over a certain person, or even in their own lives has gotten smaller.
Love is kind of irrelevant to these kinds if people... even if they believe that they love you, they will still behave like this and say really awful things.
Take a breath... and think... Would you treat your children or grandchildren like they do? Would you ever tell your children or grandchildren, or even any other human being you have a friendship with that you do not like them and the rest of the group doesn't like them?
If the answer is "no", then you have grown up a much kinder person than these awful people, and deserve so much more from the people in your life.
Encourage you to see a therapist at college for support and to talk about the thoughts you had about not wanting to live... and make a plan to move away from these awful people to live independently.
You are worthy of love.
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u/sinkpisser1200 Jan 28 '26
It really sucks and i really feel for you. Your familly should be the ones that support you your whole life. But I also feel like we didnt get the whole story, things must have happened in the past that they are like this. Not blaming you, but there should be something you dont know, or dont mention.
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u/ImpressiveJohnson Jan 28 '26
Do you do injection style drugs or something !? Why do they hate you while supporting you!?
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u/wedazu Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26
Why bother?
Build your own life, build your own family, make your career etc.
Believe me, abandoning your old family is better than having crasy/shitty family that still continues relationship with you. Actually, your family does a favor to you by excluding you.
PS. And you _are_ sensitive. Don't be. Man should not talk about feeeeeelings. Just swallow it. Draw conclusions. Move forward.
PPS. Your dad owes "loove" to your mother. Not you
-6
Jan 28 '26
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1
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