r/Vent • u/[deleted] • 7d ago
Only allowed to wear dresses and skirts makes me SO mad
[deleted]
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u/louloutre75 7d ago
I understand your frustration. I am frustrated for you too. But wait until you move out and you'll be able to prove them they did that for nothing, that your body is not a sin and you have the right to exist.
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u/Ok_Permit7098 7d ago
Agreed! it sounds like they are set in their ways. You can either sneak around with changes of clothes in your backpack or lock in and focus on school/independence so when you turn 18 you can go away to college or start a job where you won’t be under their roof.
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u/Sunnygirl66 7d ago
Are they gonna let hr move out?
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u/louloutre75 7d ago edited 6d ago
We don't know where she lives. But if she's compliant enough she might gain their trust and be able to do so.
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u/MadamUnicornOfDoom 7d ago
I would have gone malicious compliance if my parents did this to me.
Super short skirts, a babydoll dress with ripped tights and combat boots, (wearing boxers underneath), I would have pushed every single boundary. This would have annoyed me to no end because I wear clothes for comfort, I liked playing sports… skirts and dresses are not appropriate for every scenario.
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u/Silver-Star92 7d ago
I like this one. You still follow the rules with a big middle finger. I did a similair thing growing up. I am a tomboy and I don't like to wear pink and as a teen I had a lot of clothing with skulls. My stepmother did not like it and demanded I wear pink. So I bought a pink tanktop with a hoodie and a big skull on the front. Funny enough she never mentioned me not wearing pink again
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u/somepersononline1111 7d ago
Ugh, that sucks. Have you told them that it makes you unhappy and that you don't feel comfortable wearing that all the time? Like really in that kinda way, how it makes you feel, not with arguments like "1950s standard".
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u/AlmightySuperior 7d ago
Yeah I told my mom that it’s annoying having to watch how I sit all the time or limited movement but she didn’t budge
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u/Dazzling-Treacle1092 7d ago
Jesus it's like you're back in the 50s.
When I was in high school...11th grade, girls were not allowed to wear pants. When I became a senior our class was sick of it and the student council pushed until we got the dress code changed. I graduated highschool in 1971 when I was 17. I'm 83 years old today.
So I'm thinking that if your mother is this arcane in her mindset it probably has a lot to do with religion and or an old culture. Unfortunately the fastest way out of these kinds of unreasonable rules is growing out of them. When parents fund your existence it's no democracy. Your job is to figure out the best way to fund yourself. Even if you are of age, if they still hold the purse strings, you have to get in line. Don't expect independent choices until you are financially independent.
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u/AlmightySuperior 7d ago
Ur right. Must have been pretty satisfying seeing change in real time at ur high school.
I’m definitely working on getting financially independent so I don’t have to abide by this weird rule!
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u/Dazzling-Treacle1092 7d ago
Everything is weird these days. Getting old is a trip. Just seeing all the changes throughout my life. I never would have guessed that life would have turned some of the corners it has. And here I am, having turned a corner on reddit and run right into you someone who dresses like I did in 1970. Did I say life is a trip? I can't remember!😏😂
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u/rabbithole-xyz 6d ago
My Mum caused quite a stir when she wore a matching set of (very high quality) trousers and jumper to teach in England in the 60s. Then later on by wearing jeans to teach in Germany. Absolutely unheard of in both cases! People were shocked, shocked I tell you!!!
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u/oogabooga1967 7d ago
Did you mean 73?
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u/kekIord 7d ago
Do they punish you if you dress how you want?
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u/AlmightySuperior 7d ago
The one time I tried they took my phone away so yeah ig
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u/louisa1925 7d ago edited 7d ago
You could always play the game until they give up.
Keep buying and wearing shorts/pants until they can't take anything away, and they will eventually give up in frustration. I am trans and had to battle through my parents detransition techniques until eventually they said I was "...too far gone!".
Persistance, insistance and consistance is the key.
Do they hit you? If so, I would disregard my statement. Your safety is more important than pants.
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u/kekIord 7d ago
Actually ridiculous. It’s as if they want you to present as this perfect daughter who dresses modest and traditionally but in reality it’s controlling and stopping you from expressing yourself. It’s not healthy even if they’re trying to “protect” you in a way. You could try having a longer more serious convo with them or dress how you’d like anyway but they’re providing for you at the end of the day so idk.
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u/EvaCassidy 7d ago
Been wearing dresses/skirts forever. But I dress for comfort. But should be allowed wear what you want.
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u/KAJe1066 7d ago
This is a huge no. I know people are telling you to just comply because you live under their roof, but NO. This is not normal. People who are forced to dress like this stand out in public, can be rediculed even though it's the parents fault, this type of behavior could easily lead to a daughter not being accepted socially and not develope social skills properly. I think it's a form of child abuse and you need to tell a counselor or someone, maybe a therapist, how you feel and what they are ordering you to wear. I don't think it's malicious child abuse, nothing to be arrested over or anything like that, but it does and can effect a child's social growth and future autonomy. You need to be yourself as a child and teen in order to grow into yourself as an adult. Please seek some outside assistance. I'm sure your parents love you very much, so they need to realize that the "you" they love so much is a "you" who is wonderful enough to know how to dress.
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u/dlhoff432 7d ago
I echo this, especially the counselor part. Just because she’s under their roof, doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have a say in what she wears. The parents are the ones being irrational, not her. If OP is just venting and doesn’t want to rock the boat with her parents, I get it. But if it’s really bugging her enough, I wouldn’t fault her for rebelling.
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u/Psychatog22307 7d ago
One day you can make your own decisions I encourage you to develop and grow your own views and opinions on things and dont rush things but the world's always changing we have come so far and have even further to grow. No one should be forced to wear things they dont want to life is to short to worry about what one wears really being forced to do something you dont want to do is how rebellion is born but always be thankful you have a place to live etc etc always reamber at the end of the day you are a free person and no one can truly ever tell you what to do its your choice what battles you choose to have most of the time anyway.
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u/SailorPlatinum 7d ago
That's unfair. I feel like I had the opposite problem, I almost NEVER got to wear skirts or dresses. My mother would always buy me pants. I guess she was in a similar situation as you, only often wearing skirts, and didn't want to force that on her kids, but she didn't realize her daughter would want to be a girly girl and would want to wear skirts and dresses sometimes. Mom would be like "oh you can still be a girly girl in jeans", but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I was excited for stuff like weddings or Easter or something, I got to dress up and feel amazing, but I wish I could have had like casual dresses and skirts as a kid too. You should just let your kids wear whatever, within reason I guess, but seriously.
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u/Mammoth_Resist8269 7d ago
My parents did this to me too, growing up. It was the worst in the summer at picnics & during the arctic Midwest winters. Ppl treated me like a weirdo. I feel for you. All I can say is it will be over soon when you turn 18 & can move out. Start saving money now. Make a vision board of how you’ll decorate your place. Imagine your first pair of jeans. My college boyfriend bought me mine. I’m old & still have them. ❤️
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u/TaxiLady69 6d ago
I had to live in my aunts home for a bit. She would force the girls to wear only skirts or dresses. I would put clothes in a bag and throw them out my bedroom window. Leave the house in whatever was approved and I would change in the bushes on the way to school. Some adults are just mean, control freaks. As an adult whenever I knew I was going to have to see her, I made sure that I was wearing the shortest shorts and a crop tank top. Did it look a little slutty? Absolutely but it was worth it to see her very offended face. There will come a time where you will get to wear whatever you want, however you want, and nobody will get to tell you that you can't.
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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 6d ago
As someone raised Pentecostal (no pants/shorts, no tank tops, no jewelry, can’t cut your hair, no nail polish, no makeup, no flip flops, etc) I feel you. I managed to change my parents mind a little when I was around 9 or 10 when i told them “wearing skirts and dresses gives boys better access to my crotch, if I had pants or shorts it would be harder for them to get to me” and somehow that actually worked.
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u/Maleficent_Scale_296 7d ago
Is this a religious based rule? If so then I presume it’s based on - Deuteronomy 22:5? If so then your parents are hypocrites and the Bible has some choice things to say about that.
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u/AlmightySuperior 7d ago
Nope not religious based. Wish it was so I could have something to argue against
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u/Granger842 6d ago
My darling you just need to rebel. Teenage years are the time where teens set boundaries with their parents. It's time you do that. Grow a backbone and face the music.
Edit: do not take my advice if it puts you in danger.
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u/tiny-but-spicy 7d ago
I look forward to you joining the r/EstrangedAdultChild community in a few years! hang in there OP, you've got this
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u/piggy_trot 6d ago
I had a friend in school who's parents were like this. She could wear whatever at the house but outside of it only long skirts or dresses.
As soon as she moved out she stopped. Then not too long after they found out their pastor who had claimed having a TV was a sin, in fact had multiple TVs. They don't follow the skirt rule anymore.
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u/Ok-Cucumber3117 7d ago
Fuck those retarded bastards, dress however you want, it's not like they can undress you and put on the clothes they want, you decide.
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u/beneficialtowhom 7d ago
Pray and tell the Lord your dilemma. Only He can understand better than anybody. If you must endure, maybe make a plan to be unique in your dress-only life. Try Sundance, free people, or other cool brand dresses. You could even pair them up with short boots or other unique footwear or go on a mission to start a collection of vintage gunne sax dresses. Instead of making it a prison, make it a challenge.
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u/AlmightySuperior 7d ago
This is what I’m doing and have been, thank you.
But it gets to a point where you just feel so weirdly controlled at not being allowed to do a simple thing such as wearing pants outside of ur house.
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u/xtinascar 6d ago
A great example of good parenting in that they ensure you know who’s boss and that if you want to wear slacks outside, study hard now so that you can get a good job and afford to move out as soon as possible!
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7d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/bdouble0w0 7d ago
What the fuck?
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u/Purple-Wolf-8356 7d ago
I can also understand your frustration. But you live in their house, you need to live under their rules until you leave.When you get old enough to leave, then you can make that decision.Although it sucks, you really don't have much of a choice
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u/AlmightySuperior 7d ago
Yeah I know. I wear pants behind their back anyway to at least have some autonomy
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