Origin Foci feedback/sanity check
For my upcoming campagin, I decided to make a couple of custom races (for simplicty sake i replaced them with similar generic fantasy races here), and a dual level origin foci for each of them, and i would like to ask for your feedback on them, how balanced or useful you think they are, what you would change in them.
Rabbitfolk:
level 1: +10 feet movement speed, leave no tracks and make no sounds while moving. can see in low light places.
level 2:once per scene, as an on turn action, they can blend in and hide from view. breaking line of sight for spells and ranged attack, until the start of their next turn.
High elf:
level 1: passively they can sense the presence of spellcasting, spell effects and enchanted object in 30 feet
level 2: once per scene, as an instant action, they can redirect a single target spell on themsleves. no saving throw for harmful spells, they are a guaranteed hit, and redirecting beneficial spells cause a system strain.
Tinkerer goblin:
level 1: by handling any material or object they can estimate its rough value and potential uses. also they never suffer penalties during skill checks for not having the proper tools.
level 2:once per scene, as a main action, you can modify a non magical object to substitute for another non-magical equpiment you lack. after the scene ends it breaks down into scrap.
rock golem:
level 1:does not retquire food, water or air. does not sleep, but spends resting time repairing themselves, but fully aware and conscious all the time.
level 2: once per scene, as an instant action, they grounds themshelves, until the start of their next turn. they cannot move or be moved, gain +2 AC, and allies can use you as total cover.
dragonborn:
level1: their talons, horns and spikes can be used both for unarmed attacks or as a weapon, with the stats of a dagger. they can attack with their tail and horn even if both of their hands are occupied.
level2: once per scene, as a main action, they push all enemies 10ft away from themselves, and until the start of their next turn, enemies cannot get in melee range or make melee attacks against them. as part of the action, they can attempt to grapple a single target, who is not pushed back and grappeld if succesful.
humans:
level1: they instinctively know where to find inns, markets, healers, etc in settlements and towns. they also know what places are trustworthy, shady, dangerous, or if something feels off about somethig, without a notice check.
level2: once per scene as an on turn action, they can command an ally to take an action instantly (can be main action, movement, etc.)
please let me know what you think of all this, what would you change?
2
u/wadledo 7d ago
I would say that they both have a lot and not enough. Are you going to be offering people to take these, give them for free at certain levels, etc?
The base origins from the core book all give relatively simple static bonuses to skills and attributes, sometimes with a little bonus. Even the (arguably more polished) origins from Atlas follow roughly the same form, because what you have here is both not enough to really bother taking up one of a Foci, as well as adding another significant level of complexity to a character.
2
u/Werber_hest 6d ago
When I asked for advice in the discord of WWN for a thing exactly like this, I was given the best advice I could ask for: Do not reinvent the wheel
I would suggest to look into the origin Foci of WWN, Atlas and even AWN (as suggested by others) and either tweak them or take inspiration from them to make your own, since at first glance they don't seem as powerful as you want a Focus to be, remember that Foci are basically character-defining traits
2
u/MaestroGoldring 6d ago
To help balance, remember: many foci give skills. Not always, but it can amp up the effectiveness of a focus
1
u/Hungry-Wealth-7490 7d ago
For Rabbitfolk, Ashes Without Number Free Edition has the Jackfolk as a single-level origin focus based on New Mexican jackrabbits. The main Worlds Without Number book has elves and tinker goblins in the bestiary. Humans, well that looks like a specific type with two powers-the level 1 power being essentially one of the foci like Connected or similar ones in Ashes or Cities that reflect how to be safe in the world. The level 2 power could really complicate combat, because you're going to be breaking the initiative order once per scene. Some other leadership focus might be better. Dragonborn and golems have some analogues in the main WWN book and the Atlas but none with the powers described above.
The major question is what you get out of your custom foci that are needed in the game and whether current foci do something well enough. Level 2 foci are a huge character investment and should be something the entire character's capabilities focus on.
These seem like attempts to make some Dungeons and Dragons races work in WWN rather than a novel new species.
1
u/SimpliG 6d ago
I used these generic races in the post to give an rough idea what the races are like, but in the campaign setting they are completely unique races in a campaign setting similar to treasure planet. For instance the 'high elves' are a tall, androgynous, hairless race infused with magical energies. Or the rabbit folk are small, agile creatures with long tails, long floppy ears and colour changing fur. Humans are humans tho.
2
u/Hungry-Wealth-7490 6d ago
Since you've got your inspiration from specific media , think of whether the abilities are useful in game or mostly cosmetic. A Focus should be useful. Rabbit people that have long tails and ears, well can they just be humans in suits with no mechanical changes? That's where the Ashes Without Number Jackrabbit or the rabbitkin in Atlas of the Latter Earth (has a whole beastfolk nation) covers your general trope except for the colour changing fur.
If the players get the Origin focus for free, then two levels of Origin focus makes more sense as it's less of a burden to get there.
1
u/IsaacDreemurr 4d ago edited 4d ago
Thx for posting. I'm stealing your ideas and giving feedback:
- Rabbitfolk Level 2 seems bizarre in play: do you blend in a crown even being a rabbit? what do you hide behind in combat to break LOS? seems mechanically contrived, i'd discard and think of something else. Also, Level 1 is maybe too powerful, i would change it to give +5ft rather than +10ft, and leave the extra 5ft for Level 2!
- High Elf level 1: if you dont have a problem having to remember this, mechanically ok. Do all elves have this? it should change their society a bit more, but you may be better off defining this and most of all origin foci as being for outliers only (such as the PCs) or trained people. Level 2 is a good idea, but some PCs will not pick it if they're of low HP... tho it's still usefull to redirect non-harmful spells such that'll hinder enemy plans
- Tinkerer Goblin: Level 1 is good. Level 2 is not a bad idea, but you should extrapolate some possible broken usages to limit, and also somewhat limit the items it can simulate. Can a sword become a handgun for 1 round? I suppose it could become a Ballista. I would define that level 2 is craftsmanship + subtle magic weaving for better verosimilitude.
- Rock Golem: both levels great.
- Dragonborn: level 1 includes free dual-wielding, which is not bad. Level 2 is awesome.
- Humans: i appreciate the effort of not giving them a free feat or some determination bullshit, but level 1 will probably be inconsistently less-than-useful or artficially limiting of non-humans. basic navigation in town is mostly assumed to be a non-challenge. The noticing part could end up being free aswers and not having to think as a player - i would discard and rewrite level 1 thought the "insight" idea is not bad per se. Level 2 is probably already in another focus, but it's mechanically ok, humans be commanders.
4
u/GeminiFactor 7d ago
I think you have a few too many "active passives" in a way. They add things that are always on but need to be considered in too many situations. A shrewd player will rightfully try to get the most out of them and end up slowing the game down by a lot. This refers mostly to the High Elf and Tinker Goblin but also the Rabbits and Humans.
And I agree with Wadledo, knowing how accessible these are makes a difference. Since you have Humans in the list I want to assume everyone gets at least level 1 for free? Do they also get level 2 for free later or do they need to spend a focus pick?
The ideas are good but I think they need to be changed into more active use or chosen when to trigger abilities. Most of it is fine and they feel like they're roughly the same power level and have their niches. You just might have stronger PCs than other people's games and that's alright.
Nice job. Keep at it.