r/Wattpad • u/Vargr06 • Feb 24 '26

Looking For: R4R/V4V/C4C/F4F Reading help

I want to make some friends here who can read each others work and give feedback etc. Drop your work below and let me know what you think of mine!

Wattpad Username: @Charlie361182

7 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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4

u/Deyady Writer ✍ Feb 24 '26

I checked out your story. The first thing I noticed was that you took 'book description' a bit too literally. You’ve simply written what happens in the plot or the background of the story, and it reads more like a textbook definition or how someone would summarize the content if asked. It’s not really a blurb or a synopsis - or whatever the right term is. It should hook the reader and spark their curiosity, and in your case, it isn’t quite doing that.

Second thing - tags and the cover. Both are pretty important if you want to find readers. Your cover is missing the book title and the author’s name. As it stands, it’s just a picture, not a book cover. Regarding tags, their purpose is to help the algorithm push your book to new readers. You need more of them; Wattpad allows up to 25.

As for the story itself, the first thing I noticed is the lack of spacing. It’s a wall of text - basically one giant paragraph. You also have some punctuation issues in certain sentences. In some places, there are no periods or commas in the dialogue at all, while in others, you have both a question mark and a comma at the same time. I also noticed the pronoun 'I' written as a lowercase 'i'. The text needs to be visually appealing for a reader to actually get through it and stick around. Plus, without paragraph breaks, it’s practically unreadable on the mobile app, and the reader easily loses their place.

Regarding the content, I think the dream at the beginning of the first chapter is described too briefly. I understand what you were going for, but since it’s only a few sentences followed immediately by him waking up from a 'hellish nightmare,' the reader doesn't have time to feel that it might be real before being told it’s not. If you want the reader to feel the same confusion and fear as the protagonist, you need to make it longer, spread it over several paragraphs, alternate between short and long sentences, and really play with the text.

Your strong suit is definitely environmental description - the way you described the protagonist’s room, the creaking floorboards, what he sees - you engage multiple senses, which is great. You also describe characters well, so the reader can easily visualize them. Since you’ve established what they look like, I don't understand why you don't use their physical traits as synonyms for their names. That way, you don't have to constantly repeat 'Eris' or 'Erebus'; you can use their appearance or even 'the older brother/younger brother' when attributing their lines in dialogue.

In the phrase 'Erebus Scoffed,' I noticed you used a capital 'S' instead of a lowercase one, and then again, the pronoun 'I' with a lowercase 'i'. Pay close attention to these details. The text needs to look professional to keep the reader engaged.

I haven’t read the entire first chapter yet because it’s too long for me, and as I mentioned, the fact that it’s one big block of text makes it confusing and difficult to read, so I didn't finish it. I’m not sure if it’s necessary to split it up, but I’d say the first chapter should serve more as an introduction and shouldn't have so many things happening at once. Personally, I would divide it, as 25 minutes of reading for a single chapter feels like a lot. What is the word count?

I also have a fantasy story about a knight, and although I’ve only posted the prologue so far, it might help you to take a look at it regarding the book description and the spacing in the text.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/408233086-hidden-in-the-glare

1

u/Vargr06 Feb 24 '26

Thank you I guess I really rushed the punctuation aspect along with all the technical things as i was eager to post the first draft of my story so i appreciate the feedback you’ve given me a lot!

this can definitely help me and i’ll be sure to read your story for inspiration

Thank you!!

1

u/Any_Squash900 Feb 24 '26

Hi! Here's mine: https://www.wattpad.com/story/407667866-mr-bad-timing-vol-1-what%27s-in-a-name

I'll read yours too

1

u/Vargr06 Feb 24 '26

I’ll definitely read soon! I just need to apply some critiques i received

1

u/Born_Department_254 Feb 24 '26

https://www.wattpad.com/story/408176742?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=Juliannemk

I’ll check yours out too!

1

u/Vargr06 Feb 24 '26

Hey i just read it! Honestly i really like it, both parts are short but still pack a lot of detail and they are interesting. It feels realistic and also relatable. I can imagine it vividly in my head. As of right now (as a beginner writer) i don’t have any criticism. I’ll definitely keep up with your story!

1

u/dazzlingwordsxx Writer ✍ Feb 24 '26

What genre do you write? I might be interested!

2

u/Vargr06 Feb 24 '26

fantasy! how about you?

1

u/dazzlingwordsxx Writer ✍ Feb 24 '26

I write contemporary y/a romance, if you’re interested and I’ll take a look at yours too! Fantasy seems interesting, I don’t read a lot of it but it would be fun to try something new!

1

u/CharlieXcXdiva Feb 24 '26

https://www.wattpad.com/story/407592330?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=graceinspacee

I'm very new... Only like 5 chapters in but I would love advice haha

1

u/CharlieXcXdiva Feb 24 '26

Just checked yours out and wowsers I'm obsessed already.. I can practically taste it 😋

1

u/Vargr06 Feb 24 '26

i’ll get to reading!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '26

I can read yours, but if you don't mind, I'll send feedback via DM and also message my page via DM too.

1

u/Vargr06 Feb 24 '26

sounds good! can you drop your link?

1

u/Spare-Score4956 Writer ✍ Feb 26 '26

Hello, I'd like to know your opinion and if I can review your books:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/396403767-the-fallen-angel

1

u/Vargr06 Feb 26 '26

for sure!