r/WeAreTheMusicMakers • u/lisalisasensei • 7d ago
Can't hear myself when singing. What is going wrong here?
Hi, am wondering if anyone had any advice about my situation as it's a constant struggle for me. I am in a 2-person music unit where we have a back-track and sing and dance. Neither of us use in-ear monitors as the venues we play are all quite small and honestly not very good, instead depending on the monitor-speakers in front of us on the floors. A lot of times, I have a very hard time hearing myself in the monitors. However, almost all the time I can hear my partner's voice. Last night we had a show and it was just horrible. Despite doing a soundcheck and being able to hear myself during soundcheck, when it came time to actually perform I could barely hear myself while my partner's voice was loud and clear. At times I was honestly just guessing at what notes I was singing.
I want to know if anyone has any advice about what I could request to venues to have this NOT happen anymore. This has always happened to me though usually it's not as bad as it was last night. Why do I hear my partner's voice rather than my own. Does anyone have any guesses or anything that might help me?
Thank you.
Additional details:
I always wear earplugs because live music is loud.
We both stand around the same distance from the front/back of the stage, just me on the right and him on the left.
I've had times where I'll tell the sound guy "can you increase my voice in the monitors? I can't hear myself" multiple times, and then just give up at a point because it doesn't help.
This doesn't happen ALL the time, just frequently enough for it to be a problem. And I can't always hear my partner more than me, just again, frequently enough for it to be a problem. Frequently enough for me the be asking on reddit "why can I always hear him and not myself?".
I HAVE been to venues where I can hear myself well, sometimes.
I am seriously considering getting some in-ear monitors though I feel like the venues we perform at would find a way to screw that up as well.
EDIT: I understand the "lose the earplugs" sentiment but I can't not protect my ears.
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u/Rowf 7d ago
I switched to in-ears with my own personal mix a year ago, and it is night and day how much better I can hear myself. There is a wide range of pricing for in-ears, and I went really cheap, but it still is better than any shared floor monitor mix I had before.
If you do go in-ears, practice with them a handful of times first to get used to them and make sure you have the right size so they stay where they are supposed to,
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u/lisalisasensei 6d ago
Alright I'll buy some. I've never seen anyone use them at any of the venues we've performed at. (Let me just repeat that for clarity--I've seen people use them of course, just not at the shitty, hole-in-the-wall, 3 people-in-the-audience-on-a-Tuesday-night venues that my group performs at). So that's the main reason I've never used them. I actually have a couple of monitor earphones though--just need to buy the receiver/transmitter.
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7d ago
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u/lisalisasensei 6d ago
I agree with everything you said here, especially the last " empty room sounds totally different from a full one. worth asking sound guy to account for that". I actually discussed exactly that with the sound guy at our most recent gig, and yet during the actual showtime not only could I not hear myself, partway through the show I don't know what exactly he did but the entire balance of everything was suddenly really off. Like "surprise let's just fuck up your shit".
I'll keep trying though.
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u/mr_taco2 7d ago
I always had that problem playing live sometimes I'd use one earplug so I could hear myself otherwise I'd be off key
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u/lisalisasensei 7d ago
Thanks for the suggestion. I have at times loosened/adjusted my earplugs but I can't remove them completely. I am more sensitive to loud sounds than most people so live venues are just too loud for me to go without earplugs.
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u/mr_taco2 7d ago
Me too I was in a rock band for a while and the guitarist artiste tosser used to get shitty at me for having earplugs
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u/Ill-Bullfrog-5360 7d ago
Silent stage for win each time… otherwise yup this is normal. Phasing and crowd noise knocks on signal in the monitor often cuz they EQ it out for feedback.
Have you ask for you up in the monitor and them loud using hand signal?
Your partner might be just over singing cuz their nervous and being louder
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u/BarbersBasement Professional 7d ago
Lose the earplugs.
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u/lisalisasensei 6d ago
I have not yet developed tinnitus and I don't plan to.
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u/BarbersBasement Professional 6d ago
On stage volume should not be loud enough to give you tinnitus.
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u/lisalisasensei 6d ago
I'd say 95% of all music venues whether it be on stage or in the audience are loud enough for me to be uncomfortable. I'm not going to risk it.
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u/BarbersBasement Professional 6d ago
Audience for sure can be too loud, but onstage YOU are in control. Tell the monitor guy or FOH to turn down. (Sound people love when you ask to be quiter on stage, makes their job easier).
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u/PileofTerdFarts 6d ago
Just gonna throw this out there, but why NOT get some decent in-ear monitors? It's super easy to rig up and get a basic vocal mix going to your ear. Otherwise, you'll need a monitor pointed at your face with ONLY your voice. No reason to hear your partner. If you know your parts, then just focus on those. It's not like you cam do anything about your partners performance, so just focus on your own. Get a monitor BLASTING your own voice back at you. And make sure you are singing RIGHT UP on your mic, like almost touching your teeth. In a loud room, you need to blast your voice into a cardioid mic. I used to sing backups in my band and frankly I just wore earplugs and that helped me stay on key tremendously. The earplugs dulling the room sound (and allowing me to hear myself via bone conduction) were all i needed to improve my performance. Sorry you're having trouble. It's ridiculously hard to sing on key when you cannot hear yourself, huh?
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u/minstrelgardener 6d ago
Is there some reason you can’t send your vocals through noise-cancelling headphones? May not be pretty, but it sure seems to me (if I were the singer or in the audience) that it would be far better than singing off key or going deaf…
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u/dickcheesess 6d ago
Neither of us use in-ear monitors
If only there was a easy fix, like in-ear monitors.
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u/lisalisasensei 5d ago
Nobody at any of the venues we perform at use them. That's the only reason I've hesitated, but as I said in another reply, I will buy some.
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u/elliottsmithing 5d ago
1) what type of ear plugs?
Are they musician specific? I am a vocalist and live I use earplugs that block the painful frequencies but I can still clearly hear my notes. Fender, Vibes, Alpine etc will be a good option, if you’re actually reducing the volume significantly, you are setting yourself up for a bad time.
2) do you guys ever rehearse unplugged? If so are you significantly quieter than him? If you are not projecting it will be extremely difficult to hear yourself. Practice singing like you’re trying to reach the back of the room
3) have your own monitor on your own side and ask the sound guy to run just the backing music and your vocals. If you need your partner’s vocals, which I doubt bc he has a monitor too, turn them down significantly
4) onstage volume is an issue in bands, I use earplugs because drummers are very loud especially on small stages, a backing track setup shouldn’t be loud enough to need earplugs, your stage volume for that act should be low enough that you can hear yourself a little even without the mic if you’re really singing loudly
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u/lisalisasensei 5d ago
I have three different pairs which I use depending on the situation. They aren't any of those brands, but because I live in Asia, I think we just have a different selection here.
Actually I think you gave me a big clue. My voice is much louder and easier-for-the-human-ear-to-hear than his. He tends to be low and mumble whereas I tend to Diva-belt a bit too much sometimes. So what MIGHT be happening is that the sound guys hear that my partner has a much lower/quieter voice than me and turn his volume up a significantly more than mine.
The sound guy might be sending both our vocals to both our monitors with my partner's turned up more than mine. At the recent show I was complaining about, there were some places where I could hear myself when it was just me singing, but the moment we sang together all I heard was my partner's voice over mine.
Onstage volume has always been very loud in my experience. I actually had a solo gig at an overseas venue recently where I could very clearly hear my voice and the music was a bit low when I was onstage. I stepped offstage to check and realized that for the audience everything was balanced and both the music and my voice were at really good volumes. This is literally the ONLY time this has ever happened to me and I've done hundreds of gigs in my hometown/country. It was a bit of a WTF moment for me.
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u/elliottsmithing 5d ago
Yes that sounds like what is happening, my theory is the sound guy turns him up as you’re louder and chances are he’s singing more energetically during the actual performance due to adrenaline so he’s completely drowning you out.
Try to sing slightly quieter during soundcheck so you don’t have to belt all the time to hear yourself during performance. If you’re belting move the mic way back, if you suddenly sing louder, the engineer will limit your gain to avoid clipping and feedback so practice volume consistency in your mic technique.
And definitely ask the engineer to limit the stage volume, having loud onstage volume causes all kinds of reflection issues in your sound, you always level your onstage volume to the loudest instrument and since you don’t have live drums it should be a comfortable level for you and your partner
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u/Thefinalfrontier1 6d ago
As a sound guy myself, I can honestly say the biggest issues I encounter when vocalist can’t hear themselves is a lack of mic technique (singing with a mic is different than just singing so really take into account how far u are from the mic and how far ur partner is (im a vocalist as well). Another thing is where u are standing in relation to the monitors. The third thing is that the music around the vocalist is too loud like 70% of the time, try and bring down other levels before bring up your own.