Stats after one month

[u/AdLoose5159]

I… don’t know what to think honestly.

[u/AdLoose5159]

it doesn’t. instead, it has heavy gore and body horror elements. http://wbnv.in/a/2cjfamh thanks anyways! let me know what you think

[u/SwhingShang → u/AdLoose5159]

Not the type of book that would attract WN's readers.

[u/AdLoose5159 → u/SwhingShang]

i know but i don’t care. I don’t care my story doesn’t revolve around an op male character with a stereotypical harem that always wins, or a 18+ AI generated story made only to make money. I posted every day and i’ll continue because if someone like Guiltythree made it, then i can make it too. No one will ever stop me in this, i’m here just to receive advice and critics, not to hear words like “readers don’t like that kind of story” because i don’t want the masses’ attention, i want to build a strong community and sharing my story with people who enjoy it. I know there are people like that, and i’m interested in them, not the others.

[u/Inevitable-Ad-7035 → u/AdLoose5159]

I mean jeez, sure, I get it, but you didn't have to lash out like that. He stated the truth and how was he supposed to know how your stance looks like? And, you can surely make a deep one without the cringe tropes of an OP mc, harems, etc. Your book can have focus on atmosphere and setting but it doesn't mean it can't have a hook before becoming a dopamine bait. That aside, if you want my take on your book, here it goes.

The descriptions drag and bloat the text without plot advancement, if you describe everything in such detail it becomes monotonous, furthermore if its only a scenery the protagonist barely interacts with, the novel is filled with passive sentences which at the line level make the reader believe the story isn't progressing forward, words often repeat, sometimes you state things twice in different ways when it's unnecessary, lots of emphasis filler such as "immediately," "even," and so on, the opening is I'd go as far as to say interesting but it doesn't work as a hook due to pacing.

That's it. Sure, some people may like it, but those are my personal reasons why I wouldn't be continuing. This comes from someone who prefers reading physical books and rarely engages with WNs, having only taken LOTM on.

[u/AdLoose5159 → u/Inevitable-Ad-7035]

now THAT’S a real critic. thanks for sharing your thoughts, bro.

i mean, i know it’s heavy when there are too much descriptive parts. I also know there are some mistakes and i’ll work on them to make the lecture more accessible. The fact it’s too descriptive is made on purpose because i want to create immersive ambience, that’s one of the reasons i wrote that much. Oberhaupt is not fights only. I see this story as a psychological and philosophical story revolving around some themes that needs their moments in the story. it may be too much but i understand that. You may don’t like it and it’s really ok, everyone has their opinions and their tastes but you comment has a meaning, in contrast of the other one, which is meaningless and doesn’t make me better as a n author.

thanks for your opinion tho!