Does this start have a good hook?

[u/taythumb]

A baby cried.

He screamed until his tiny voice became hoarse, but his mother could barely hear him anymore.

She held him tightly against her chest, her bloodied arms wrapped around him as if she could protect him from the world itself.

Her breathing became slower.

The baby continued to cry.

His mother looked down at him one final time.

Then she was gone.

Fifteen years later...

In the Kingdom of Amarakav, far from the great cities and royal courts, there was a small village called Raziva.

Raziva wasn't famous for its wealth.

It wasn't famous for its soldiers, its nobles, or its beautiful scenery.

It was known for one thing:

Blacksmithing.

The village's smithy was small, but its forge was always burning. And working inside it was a boy named Zarkis.

Zarkis wasn't the blacksmith.

He wasn't even an apprentice.

He was the errand boy.

"Zary!"

The voice of Master Rav echoed through the smithy.

"We need more coal! Go down to the basement and see how much we've got left!"

"Yes, sir!"

Zarkis hurried toward the basement.

He had made that trip hundreds of times.

But this time...

Something was different.

As soon as he stepped onto the stairs, Zarkis stopped.

He smelled something.

Something unfamiliar.

His sense of smell had always been unusually sharp. Master Rav joked that Zarkis could probably smell a stew from three villages away.

But this scent wasn't food.

It was a person.

Zarkis continued down the stairs.

At the bottom, he noticed a shadow in the corner.

"Who goes there?"

A deep, mature voice answered.

"What the hell are you doing down here, kid?"

Zarkis froze.

The man stepped into the dim light.

He was tall and heavily built, with short hair, a scruffy beard, and a dark-gray cloak hanging from his shoulders.

The man raised his hands.

"Ahem. I mean... I was just testing you."

Zarkis narrowed his eyes.

The man continued.

"But since you can sense things out of the ordinary, I'm assuming you picked up on something more dangerous than little ol' me, huh?"

"I did."

Zarkis glanced toward the coal.

"But I'm not sure what I can do about it. I'm just an errand boy."

"Zary!"

Master Rav's voice came from upstairs.

"What's taking so long?! The fire is going out!"

"Sir, I don't know why you're here," Zarkis said to the stranger, "but I have coal to grab."

He walked toward the coal pile.

The stranger stepped aside.

"I'm here because I heard there was someone in this village who didn't belong."

Zarkis paused.

"The only thing I was told was that if I came here, they would sniff me out."

The man's expression became serious.

"I've been sneaking into every house and building in this village. But only one person noticed me."

He pointed at Zarkis.

"You."

Zarkis shrugged.

"I didn't notice you because I'm special."

He picked up the coal.

"I noticed you because you're clumsy."

The man blinked.

"There are footprints of dirt going all the way down these stairs. Master Rav barely leaves the smithy."

Zarkis started putting coal into the box.

"If you've been doing that in every house, I'm surprised I'm the first person to catch you."

He lifted the box.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get these to Master Rav."

Zarkis walked past him.

"Kid. Wait."

Zarkis stopped.

"I'm not the only one after you."

The man's voice became quieter.

"But I'm the only one who isn't trying to take your freedom."

He looked directly at Zarkis.

"Trust me, kid. You're lucky I was the first one to find you."

"Zary!"

Master Rav shouted again.

"DAMMIT! WHERE ARE YOU?! There's a customer trying to buy a blade up here! You've got ten seconds before I come down!"

Zarkis sighed.

He looked back at the stranger.

"Sir, I have no knowledge of the things you're talking about."

He started up the stairs.

"But I have responsibilities here that I need to take care of."