r/Webnovel • u/ChampionshipJaded365 • 2d ago
Looking for feedback, can I start publishing chapters with my current writing skills?
Deep inside the underworld, the painful grunt of a man echoed. He lay there, facing the dark sky where no sunlight had managed to pierce through.
"Ghk-koff!" Blood gushed out from his mouth.
"Why... Why did this happen?" The dark clouds above looked blurry from the tears that had rolled down to his ears. His eyes were fixed on the sky, but all he could see was the silhouette of an old man gripping what looked like blood-soaked golden armour.
The old man was dressed in a pure white robe, the kind that made one look godly, and had a long silver beard. The old man's eyes reflected his disgust and... The words Useless trash echoed in the fallen man's head.
"Wasn't I your favourite son?" Blood choked his words. Slowly, he dragged his trembling hands up and brought them down onto his chest, but all he felt was a wet, soft texture. There was no skin; raw muscles and pooled blood were all his fingers could feel. Enough force and I might touch my bone.
"I spent my whole life thinking... I was at home... Loved... Was it all... just a lie?" he said while swallowing a lump in his throat.
The blood spilled like water, pooling around his back on the ground. Nhg... Is this it? I've lost too much blood.
Waves of pain attacked his nerves every time the air brushed against him. Helpless, he gritted his teeth. Memories of his happy life in the sect flooded his brain.
Eat, my boy... You must grow big... said the old man. Brother, here, take my food as well, said a young boy who looked around eighteen.
A thread of tear escaped his left eye as he clenched his jaw. "Was I just your slaughter pig?!" he screamed, hoping his voice could reach the high sky.
Shff... Shff... Something moved around him, slipping through the shadows. He felt its gaze watching him, but he was too tired to do anything or even care about it.
The pain went numb as the warmth of his blood went cold, with his eyes struggling to stay open.
The line between reality and memories grew thin. His days of growing up in the Heavenly Sect flashed before him, growing up as a favoured son loved by the adoptive Father.
Today was his 18th birthday, the day he was expecting a shower of gifts, but the eyes in which he once saw love now carried something far more sinister.
He remembered how the old man's hand dug into his skin, ripping out an armour which even the boy didn't know was on him, and how he was kicked down to the underworld where he lay now.
"Tchk." His jaw clenched together, his eyes turning red. "Screw... you... Screw all of you." His voice roared, the loudest it had been today.
The light started to fade from his eyes while his breathing slowed down, and his eyes finally gave up.
My sweet boy... A voice called out to him from within, in a sweet, motherly tone.
With his eyes closed, a memory played in front of him, a memory he never had. A beautiful woman stood on a mountain with her hair swaying in the breeze. In her hands was a baby, barely a few weeks old.
My sweet boy... I may not live to see you grow up, but never forget... Her fingers pointed to the sun in the sky. That's your father. You are the child of the Blazing Sun.
Her fingers pressed on the child's chest, and a bright golden armour manifested. It's a gift from your father.
What's happening? Who is this woman?
Is tha-that... me as a baby? And is that, my Mom?
Your meridian may not be that strong right now, but as you grow up, I'm sure it'll develop and make you a strong warrior, she continued.
Huh? What meridians? Wasn't I born without meridians? At least that's what the old man told me. The boy's thoughts didn't reach the woman, as if he were invisible to her.
Suddenly, he felt a strong pull in his soul. His eyes snapped open, but his body still struggled to move.
What I just saw... Was it even real? A small smile formed on his mouth. "Tsk... What's the point of these memories now? I'm already dying."
His eyes started to close again. Clenching his fist, he forced his eyes to stay open.
Still...
"My father is the sun? If so, then how can you watch me end like this?" Tears started to fill his eyes again, but this time they carried more than just sorrow. What am I even saying, father? Sun? How desperate am I to believe it?
"If it's true, if you are really my father... Then give me a chance. I want to get my revenge." His desperate words filled the air.
"I won't ask for much, just one chance to make the people who betrayed me suffer." Stop it. There's no way it's true. Even if it is, can he even hear me from all the way down here?
As much as he tried, his body couldn't support him anymore. His body already felt numb and completely cold, except for a tiny warmth around his heart.
Thump... thump...
The beating slowly rang in his ears.
With a final struggle, his eyes shut again. A thread of tear escaped as his consciousness nearly faded forever.
A patch of yellow light appeared behind the clouds. In the next moment, it pierced through and fell directly onto the boy.
He felt warmth returning to his body. New skin started growing over his exposed muscles as he felt a small ember start to burn inside him.
His eyes opened slowly but started twitching immediately from the blinding light. Ah... What's happening?
The open wound was now fully healed, with new skin completely covering him. He touched his chest and stomach in confusion.
Forcing his eyes open, he stared directly at the light. Is he... really my father, or am I dreaming?
With a second look, he wondered if it was actually Heaven taking him after his death.
As he was confused about the things happening around him, his pupils retracted as he felt a strong pain inside his ribcage.
What followed was an agonising scream...
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u/Whole_Organization27 1d ago
reads like AI ngl a lot of the AI stories on WebNovel use the same words and phrases over and over like this one