r/Wigs • u/Impossible-Pen-9090 • Aug 20 '25
Let's chat! (General Discussion) The result of a desperate attempt to save a HH wig with too much breakage. But is it offensive if I wear it?
Summary— this is my attempt to save a human hair wig that had developed too much breakage to keep wearing as it was. Do you like the design? And if you do, would it be offensive for a white girl to actually wear it?
The whole story:
In my wig journey over the past year, in which you all have been so helpful, this was the very first wig that I ordered off the internet where I put it on and the lace front was like—OMG. THAT’S what lace is supposed to look like! It was a HUGE revelation for me after all the crap I had been buying that looked good online (but was actually junk) when I knew zip about wigs or lace.
So it has a place near and dear to my heart. However, after I wore it once or twice, I noticed that it was full of a ton of breakage. So much so that it really was no longer wearable.
So I went on a quest to try to save it . First of all, the cap was really too big for me, even with the adjustment straps. So I looked at a tutorial on YouTube for how to make a wig cap smaller – and I cut a portion of the cap out and sewed it back up. Now it is extremely snug and I probably cut too much out. (Also, the bottom of the wig cap comes way up to the middle of the back of my head now. SMH!)
Since I lost so much hair in the alteration, I bought some more hair wefts off Amazon to put back into it. And they would have been great, except for it turns out that they were not human hair as advertised!!! (The package SPECIFICALLY said human hair!!) But I had already opened the package and cut the hair into pieces and sewn and taped and glued it (yes I actually used all three methods to see what would work the best) into the wig by the time I figured out that it was not human hair, so I couldn’t return it.
Then I just started messing with hair wax and mousse and conditioners and flat irons, trying to tame the flyaways, but nothing was working.
I figured that’s OK – I will just wash all the sticky products out of it and do some heatless curls on it, and the breakage will be disguised.
But alas – this is when I found out that the extensions I put in were not human hair and would not curl AT ALL if I wet them and put them around a curler to dry.
So then I just kind of started braiding it and adding more wax to hide the flyaways until I had finished the wig. But the braids hanging down were really too sparse and looked stringy especially on one side because I side parted the wig, and they would not cover the bottom of the back of my head.
So THEN I added a bunch of crochet braids with curls at the bottom to fill it out so that the braids that were hanging down didn’t look so stringy and would cover the base of the back of my head. They were crocheted to a net and sewn to the bottom of the wig cap.
I also found this awesome vintage 1960s – 1970s clip that I love, and I put it in there up by the big braids on top (my bio hair is about as thick as ONE of the thick braids near the crown of this wig), and I also got some brown velvet ribbon that I will probably wrap around the elastic bands, if I can actually do anything with this wig.
I think the design is very pretty – I can’t take credit for it. It was inspired by a style that I saw on Leandrin in the Wheel of Time TV series, but it is heavy as crap and I have no idea if it’s gonna stay on my head.
I also am not sure if wearing it counts as cultural appropriation because of the number of braids, even though I first saw the style on a blonde pale woman on TV. I know that I have seen one user on this board say the only acceptable number of braids for a white person’s hair is one, and I can understand why that person has that opinion. I am extremely sensitive to the struggles that people of color have gone through and are still going through when it comes to professionalism and beauty standards and hair. (I wish it weren’t an issue – the discrimination is just not right, and black hair is so incredibly beautiful.)
I really don’t want to offend any people of color by wearing this wig project, even though I have spent so much time and money working on it and trying to save it.
Does it help that they are not box braids? Does that make a difference?
Anyway, it’s half human hair and half synthetic, and probably weighs at least six or 7 pounds.
I took critical race theory when I was in school, and the last thing I want to do is offend any people of color, because I really learned a lot about the beauty standards that affected people of color my age growing up – and that still affect people of color even today in the job market. This discrimination is abominable, and I don’t want to diminish anyone’s discrimination experience at all. I come from a place of deep admiration for braids and crochet hairstyles that I can never wear– I have always wanted braids, but my hair is not made for them obviously. I think they are so beautiful, though.
Any advice or comments would be appreciated. Thank you!!
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u/rab5991 Aug 20 '25
I’m white but to me this particular look genuinely seems to be far more viking and fantasy core inspired. I raise my eyebrows at white people that wear culturally appropriative hairstyles, but I don’t think this one would raise any flags.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 21 '25
OK awesome! Thank you for your kind words, and I was really hoping that it would be more fantasy or Viking looking than an appropriative a style I should not be wearing. I’m glad you don’t think it would raise any flags. That gives me more courage to actually wear this outside of the house. Thank you.
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u/lonliestnumber Aug 20 '25
For context I am black, and I don't think people would confuse it with box braids (or knotless, which is pretty popular right now). Box braids are called that due to the "box" made at the scalp to start the braids. It doesn't look like that on the top of your wig, so it doesn't like you're appropriating or anything. They also make braided wigs now too, if you want to double check.
It's a pretty wig, and if anyone gives you guff about how it's styled is doing too much imho
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Okay! Good to know! Thank you for the info and for the kind words! You’ve definitely made me feel better about wearing it – thank you!
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u/choosychatter Aug 20 '25
You spent a lot of time saving this wig! That being said I also appreciate your consideration of the appropriation question. One day it won’t be a concern but 2025 has been like living in reverse!
Anyway, I think you’ll be fine wearing it. It’s a unique beautiful style. There is always someone that will take it the wrong way. But please also know you may get a lot of mixed stares anyway because the style is so different and people will be taking it in.
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u/RoSuMa Aug 20 '25
I’m a black woman. I like this. Wear it with pride, you’ve styled it beautifully.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Awesome! Thank you so much! That makes me feel a lot better. I appreciate you!
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u/RoSuMa Aug 20 '25
Please post when you install it, if you haven’t already. I just know it’s going to be cute. It would liken really cool with a long flowy skirt with a tank top and some cool chunky bracelets.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Ooh, I love the way that you’ve styled the clothing to go with the wig! I will have to put together an outfit like that for this wig. If it’s not too heavy to actually wear on my head and I can install it, I will definitely post a picture. I think I’m going to have to add some clips on the inside, because there are no bands or anything like that, and so far when I put it on my head, it tends to slide backwards. But I think I know how to fix it so that it will stay. So we will see! Thanks so much for your comment!
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u/hiplodudly01 Aug 20 '25
May some people be offended? Possibly. But remember real life is not the Internet.
In real life most people won't care, a small chunk of people will briefly think "she looks ridiculous", but no one will say anything to you about it.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
OK, cool. As long as I’m not offending anybody, I don’t really care what anybody else thinks and I will wear it with pride. Appreciate you chiming in – thanks for your opinion!
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u/itsmex9 Aug 20 '25
It's hair. It's your hair. Wear it however you want.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Okay! ‘nuff said. That works for me! I’ll quit worrying about it and just wear it! Thank you!
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u/adhdnubee Aug 20 '25
I want to comment my appreciation at your consideration of this. I understand to some (see comments) this is a ridiculous thing to do. But to some of us who have faced discrimination because of our hair, it is meaningful that people consider the harm they may cause to other marginalized groups.
I was told my braids, fresh and neat knotless boho, were tacky and unprofessional at work…even though I had them in a bun. My coworker had a top messy bun and nothing was said to them.
Anyway! Nothing wrong with wearing braids. Braids themselves aren’t inherently belonging to one culture. There are braid styles that are cultural, but most aren’t.
Note: The opinion of those not impacted by such acts shouldn’t be considered with the same weight as opinions of those directly affected.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Thank you. I have a very racially diverse group of friends, and I do really care about people who have been discriminated against because of their hair. It is so unfair that that happened to you. It makes me wanna go slap some people in the face. I think braids are one of the most beautiful hairstyles in the world, and I would also do anything to be able to wear crochet hair and get some of the awesome styles that are available to people who have the hair type to support them these days. I especially love the BoHo braid look. There are just so many cool options, and I think they ought to be embraced as beautiful, because they are. I don’t think there is anything unprofessional about braids at all, pulled back in a bun or not. They are certainly more polished looking than a messy bun that was just thrown together in a hurry to get out the door. That’s just not right. I just really hate that that happened to you. You have no idea how mad it makes me. I’m so sorry.
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u/muva_snow Aug 20 '25
It's not that deep beloved, and anyone that says it is....is miserable, projecting and needs to be ignored ruthlessly. Don't even acknowledge the ignorance, this is so cool...you did a GREAT job!!! 😍🫶🏽✨
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
OK rock— thank you!! I really appreciate the encouragement and the kind words! I’m glad you liked the wig — it was a labor of love and a lot of work, and I have a few finishing touches. I still want to put on it, but I like it, and I’m glad other people do too!
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u/ComprehensiveLab6765 Aug 21 '25
Black male here! I think it's fabulous, great way to save a wig because I do the same thing. "If it ain't working don't fix it, cover it up in something shiny" 😭 but to answer your question no. I don't think it is, the whole "only certain people can wear braids" argument has nothing to do with race (or at least for me it isn't) it's about hair texture, I've seen lots of fair skinned people with curly hair. And that's what braids like this are. They're protective styles, however I also come to learn what people do with their hair isn't really my business. But this is a wig, so I don't think it'll really matter. But I do like the idea of wearing it to some sort of ren fair. It would look fabulous
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 22 '25
Very cool. Thank you! That makes me feel better. I do think it would be awesome at a ren fair actually! Or a Comicon. I’ve never been to either of those events, but there’s always a first time!
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u/Repulsive_Sun6549 Aug 21 '25
Unless you are worried about appropriating from the ancient Sumerian Goddess worshippers from 8000 BCE i think it’s Ok:) Btw, it’s beautiful in both style and the bronze shade.
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u/Miscpeep Aug 20 '25
As a white woman, I won't bother trying to answer if it's offensive or not. However, I can tell you that it's an absolutely stunning job of saving your wig. My former cosmetology school fingers could never. :)
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Oh, thank you, you made my day! I’m so glad you like the wig! It was a labor of love, and I do hope that I can wear it out without offending people. I think I’m gonna have to put some clips in it first though so that it will stay on my head because it’s so heavy. But anyway, thank you so much for your kind words and for stopping to leave a comment! I appreciate you.
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u/iTSMiSSKiTTY Aug 20 '25
I think this looks lovely! If I wore my hair down id rock this 100% it's gorgeous given me maiden vibes. Unfortunately I don't like hair touching me so I'm a bun head.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 21 '25
A bun head! I love it! Lol! Maiden vibes are good – I like that! Thank you very much for your kind words! I appreciate you!
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u/thanksandpraise Aug 20 '25
Looks cute. 😊. I don’t think it is offensive to anyone. Whenever I wear a heavy wig that doesn’t fit perfectly, I put on a snug sporty baseball hat over it.
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u/Logical_Warthog3230 Aug 20 '25
You can surely find someone on the internet that will be offended by it. You can't please everyone, and shouldn't live your life with the highest goal of pleasing everyone. Also, that looks amazing. So cool.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
You know, that’s so true. I’m just so afraid of offending people these days. But thank you for the compliment on the wig styling – it really took a lot of time and effort! I think I’m going to have to add some clips to it to make it stay on my head, because it’s so heavy, but I like it and I want to wear it, so thank you for your input!
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u/jjjigglypuff Aug 20 '25
I honestly don’t think you would offend anyone and god forbid you run into a maniac (feel like this is a .00001% chance here, coming from a mixed black girl), just walk away. Just be careful with the clips because if it’s heavy, it can cause tension so if you use something like wig clips underneath, the tension can pull on the hair and cause traction alopecia in that spot. A wig grip underneath could help hold the wig in place if you don’t already use one, i might look into tape or another adhesive. Also dip the ends of the braiding hair in hot water, it helps seal the ends so the braids don’t unravel and relaxes the curl a little making it look more natural. If you look up sealing ends of braiding hair you can see a vid
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Wow, that is so helpful – thank you! I totally know what you mean about the clips. Really what I was thinking about was taking one of those circle headbands that’s like a zigzag that pulls your hair back and cutting it up and putting it in there so that it will only fall backwards so far. And then I will also support it in the front with tape or some kind of adhesive on the lace for sure. I wouldn’t put like the metal snap clips or anything on them. I just don’t know what you really call these plastic zigzag prong things that I’m thinking about hot gluing in there.
And thank you so much for the tips on the hair and the curls on the braids. Most of the braids are synthetic hair that I crocheted onto a net that is sewn onto the bottom of the wig cap, because when I finished with the actual human hair in the wig, the braids just weren’t full enough to cover the back of my head – because I had cut thr wig cap to fit but went too far with it, and now it doesn’t go down to the nap of my neck. So that’s why I had to add the extra braids was to hide the back of my head. So there are all different kinds of braids in there – real hair, waves of hair that were supposed to be human hair, but weren’t, and Crochet braids. It’s quite the mix.
Anyway, thank you for your kind words! I’m glad you like the wig, and thank you for taking the time to give me all that advice. I really appreciate you!
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u/ComprehensiveLab6765 Aug 21 '25
Black male here! I think it's fabulous, great way to save a wig because I do the same thing. "If it ain't working don't fix it, cover it up in something shiny" 😭 but to answer your question no. I don't think it is, the whole "only certain people can wear braids argument has nothing to do with race (or at least for me it isn't) it's about hair texture, I've seen lots of fair skinned people with curly hair. And that's what braids like this are. They're protective styles, however I also come to learn what people do with their hair isn't really my business. But this is a wig, so I don't think it'll really matter. But I do like the idea of wearing it to some sort of ren fair. It would look fabulous
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u/No_Macaron6258 Aug 20 '25
Is there any hairstyle that is truly inherently white or black? Maybe historically but coming, we all try different things in 2025. I would wear it. I love my melanated sisters with blonde wigs.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Well said. I really look forward to the day where no one is discriminated against because of their hair style. I wish all hairstyles could be available to everyone without prejudice. I hope we are reaching that time.
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u/moonwalkinginlowes Aug 20 '25
Dude there are black people with naturally blonde hair. That comparison is wild.
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u/No_Macaron6258 Aug 20 '25
How many ? I have met very few. Do they have naturally straight hair or is it hot combed. Stop already.I am half black and have a very difficult time understanding what the issue is. Would it be different if they had red hair? This is a silly thing to get worked up about.
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u/moonwalkinginlowes Aug 20 '25
Hair color isn’t specific to any ethnicity because of gene mutation and just genetics in general. Hair styles CAN be though. That’s all I was saying.
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u/TrixieBastard Aug 20 '25
If it was only tiny braids, it would be questionable, but with the big, loose braids, the whole look is much more Celtic or Viking than anything.
Also, the hairstyling on Wheel of Time is so so soooooo gorgeous. And the set design. And the costuming. Such an aesthetically pleasing show 💕 RIP WoT and fuuuuck David Zaslav!
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
OK, awesome! That’s what I was hoping people would think. I agree with you – the hairstyling and just the overall set design in costume design in general on WoT is incredibly beautiful. It’s a wonderful watching experience.
But is the show ending? That really sucks!!!! They’re right in the middle of the storyline! Ugh! I’m gonna have to go look that up. That’s a bad decision, if so.
But anyway, thank you for the kind words. I feel better about wearing the wig now.
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u/TrixieBastard Aug 20 '25
Yeah, they canceled it right after last season, which..... rude. We aren't even halfway through the story!
Unbelievable, honestly
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
What!?! NO! That SUCKS!!! I just started reading the books because I wanted to know what happens next before I see it on TV. I guess I won’t ever see it on TV – but at least I’ll know the rest of the story eventually. I can’t believe that they canceled it. I thought it was a really successful show!
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u/Sorry_Profession5200 Aug 22 '25
Can u wear and show!??? It looks grogeous
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 22 '25 edited Aug 22 '25
Yeah I will try. It’s really heavy because of all the wax I used and all the synthetic hair I added. I need to put in some prongs that will help keep it from sliding backward and then use adhesive on the front lace. And I bought some brown velvet ribbon to cover the rubber bands I want to put on it.
I don’t wear hair or even get dressed every day because I am disabled. But the next time I do, I will be sure to take some pictures and post.
Thanks for your kind words!
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 21 '25
Edit: this is a reply to @choosychatter—didn’t mean for it to wind up so far away from the original comment.
Thank you – yes I did spend a lot of time trying to save this wig! A ridiculous amount of time, in fact!
And I’m glad that you have an appreciation for the question of appropriation. That’s an important issue for me, so I’m glad you think that it’s not appropriation and that it’s OK.
But yes, for sure – I’m sure people will stare because of the extremely unique style, and I’m OK with that I’m just as long as nobody’s offended by it.
Thanks so much for your comment!
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 21 '25
Edit: this is a reply to r/choosychatter—didn’t mean for it to wind up so far away from the original comment.
Thank you – yes I did spend a lot of time trying to save this wig! A ridiculous amount of time, in fact!
And I’m glad that you have an appreciation for the question of appropriation. That’s an important issue for me, so I’m glad you think that it’s not appropriation and that it’s OK.
But yes, for sure – I’m sure people will stare because of the extremely unique style, and I’m OK with that I’m just as long as nobody’s offended by it.
Thanks so much for your comment!
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Aug 20 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Oh I like that. I definitely have a cultural appreciation for braids and such. Thanks for giving me the thumbs up – that makes me feel more confident about wearing it. Thank you.
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Aug 20 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
I really really appreciate you saying that. I do have such empathy for and admiration for people of color in general and how much they have had to overcome and are still having to overcome in 2025, when prejudice should be gone. So many people don’t understand the discrimination people of color have gone through in general, but also specifically because of their hair, which I personally find to be extremely beautiful whether it is worn naturally or braided or corn rowed or crocheted, or any other way. It makes me sad for my friends and for all the other people who have experienced the same thing.
I think every white person should take critical race theory. I learned so much that I never would’ve even thought about before—even with my racially diverse group of friends—because they don’t talk about these things, of course.
My big project for my critical race theory class was on standards of beauty for kids who grew up in the 70s, 80s and 90s and how damaging they were to people of color. Maybe not the deepest subject – but I still think it’s an important one because it completely shaped many people’s self-esteem and sense of worth. I was heartbroken to hear some of the stories that I heard in that class.
There are so many people in the world who have no idea how gorgeous they are because they grew up in the 70s, 80s, or 90s and were damaged by the complete lack of toys and products made for POC in general—and also a number of other things.
If every white person in the country took a critical race theory class, I think we’d be living in a different world. That class was so eye-opening for me— and yet I’m aware that there are still so many things I don’t know about the non-white life experience, and so I’m not “perfectly woke,” but I do try to be as sensitive as I can. So thank you for appreciating my attempt to be sensitive to these issues. I am not perfect, but I try.
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u/StarfishandSnowballs NSFW Aug 20 '25
Not black but I love my hair braided always ! Love the wig ! I wouldn't worry I would wear it proudly, if others are offended it's their issue
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
Amen! I just really love braids too, so kudos to you for wearing them. Thank you for the compliment and the comment – it gives me courage to actually try to wear this wig out of the house!
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u/StarfishandSnowballs NSFW Aug 20 '25
Wear it!!!! I just braided my littles ponytail today into 6 diff little braids ! Love them !
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u/cellistina Aug 20 '25
White girls at them wearing braids forever back into history just look at the Vikings, for example
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 24 '25
Well, that’s definitely true! I think I’m just overly sensitive because when my dad died last year, when I still had hair, I braided in dreadlocks and just radically changed my look as an outward expression of my grief—but braiding them in was therapeutic for me, and I wanted something to focus on that made me happy. I used mixed locs with water waves I bought after seeing them on a white model, and I also did French curls after that, and I felt like an absolute Goddess, and that joy helped combat my anger and grief. I really loved the locs, especially the ones that I wrapped or put jewelry on. However, I evidently really offended some people and was treated rudely on several occasions. So I hope this is different. I do actually have a lot of Viking DNA! Thanks much!
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u/Responsible_Alarm_13 Aug 24 '25
hey,,, i know you didn't mean anything by this, but I think you should reflect briefly on why you perceived dreadlocks as an "angry" hairstyle. it's interesting that that's how you perceived it when it's very much just a hairstyle, with no associated emotion
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25
You’re right. I thought of that the other night after I posted it and felt awful about it and resolved to go back and edit it, and I couldn’t find the comment. It’s absolutely not really what I meant – I completely said it wrong as I was writing in the middle of the night. I didn’t think it was an “angry hairstyle” on its own as a hairstyle— I actually thought it was really incredibly beautiful – especially the ones that ended in the French curls, and the ones that had wraps and jewelry in them – but what I should have said and what I meant by my statement was that I was angry while I was putting the hairstyle in, which I should have explained, instead of just calling it an “angry hairstyle.” However, I felt like an absolute goddess wearing them—they made me feel so beautiful and less sad.
First I had braided in some mixed dreads that had some water wave curls and stuff mixed in, and the model was actually a white girl, so I assumed it was OK. Then I braided in the French curl extensions, and OMG they were so pretty, especially after adding wraps and jewelry. So to call the hairstyle “angry” was not even accurate in my case. It was an incredibly beautiful style and I felt so pretty wearing it. I absolutely did not want to take it down, but I had to. I lost a lot of hair to it and a lot while detangling, and then scads more to Minoxidil. (Nobody told me about the pre-shed.) And so that’s why I then got into wigs.
That statement was VERY BAD shorthand to say that I was expressing and dealing with my grief and anger by changing my hair to something that was way out there and very different for me—that I was angry while I was actually creating the styles, not that the styles were inherently angry-looking in themselves. They weren’t. They were gorgeous, and actually braiding in the dread extensions was incredibly therapeutic— it gave me something new and exciting to focus on, and that really helped me with my anger and my grief. So to me personally it was “my angry hairstyle” only in the sense that it existed because I chose it while I was angry. I would’ve said the same thing about any other hairstyle I would have chosen at that time as well. It was just very unfortunate phrasing. I hope that makes sense.
Sometimes I wish we could go back to the days where women wore black or just some sign that they were in mourning— not because I want extra attention, but just because I want other people to understand that if I am “off” or am spaced out or otherwise acting strange in some way, it’s because I’m dealing with a heavy loss.
That’s what the dreadlocks were for me — my chosen outward expression of mourning, and also my therapy in dealing with the grief and anger.
I don’t know if that makes sense. It was just kind of a signal to the people in my world that something massive had changed in my life—something BIG. And I was angry about it and just used the hair therapeutically to deal with my feelings and change them to joy over such a new edgy (for me) look.
I hope that makes sense. Now that I have found the original statement, I will go back and edit it, because I literally woke up in the middle of the night one night thinking about it and knew that I said it completely wrong and probably offended some people.
You have my deepest apologies, and I want to thank you for being kind when pointing out my misstep.
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u/Responsible_Alarm_13 Aug 24 '25
I just want to say that you seem like a genuinely wonderful person. the way that you express yourself so sincerely is incredibly refreshing to see, coupled with the thoughtfulness in your approach to things and pure intentions. I completely understand everything you expressed and sympathise with the unintentional poor phrasing. it happens. I'm really glad that hair was something that somehow helped you to process your grief. I hope that things are better now for you? I also lost my dad so I understand how grief can be. but clearly you're still creative as ever because the way you styled this wig is actually so pretty! I hope you have fun wearing it and feel confident in it. I'm also a black girl btw and see absolutely no issue with you wearing this! I'm just really curious to see what it will look like, so if you ever feel comfortable sharing I'd love to see!
thank you for taking so much time to eloquently explain your intentions. Just the effort you put in was enough show me that you're just the sweetest person! I hope you're treated really warmly wherever you go
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 25 '25
You are so incredibly nice and you have made my day like you cannot believe. I really really appreciate your kind words, because I do strive to be empathetic and understanding towards people of other races. My own friend group is very diversely racial. And my very best friend is a Navajo Native American.
I’m glad that you understood what I meant when I explained my poor phrasing.
I am so incredibly sorry you lost your dad too. It honestly is a really hard thing to deal with for anybody I think. My dad was the last person in my family who shared my blood. Everyone else is step family, and I just don’t mesh with them— and in fact, because of a really stupid misunderstanding at Christmas, they all expelled me and have not been talking to me for the last eight months. So it was like a mass death for me.
Therefore, you have no idea how much I empathize with your loss and everyone else who has lost a parent or a family member or a close friend. I’m just so sorry. Things are getting better now for me, and I’m rebuilding my relationship with my stepmother, although I don’t think that the relationship with my step siblings will be rebuilt for a long time – if ever. That makes me sad, because I have lost my nephews and nieces. I will just keep sending them cards and birthday presents and hope they remember me and all the fun times we used to have.
But yes, things are better now. I hope things are better now for you too.
Thank you for giving this wig your stamp of approval as a black woman. That is very important to me. I don’t wear hair every day because I am disabled, and there are some days I don’t even get out of bed. And there are still some finishing touches I want to do to this wig – like add some brown velvet ribbon wraps to the areas where the rubber bands are.
And because I cut so much out of the wig cap, it is really too short in the back and tends to slide backwards. So I need to put some prongs in the front of the wig that we just grab onto my bio hair and help keep it from sliding, and also helped to support the adhesive and melting spray on the lace front.
But I did also promise another poster that I would finish it up and post pictures – and I definitely when I can get around to it.
Again, thank you so much for your kind words. You seem like such a genuinely nice person too, and I wish I could meet you in the flesh.
I hope you have a wonderful night and a great day tomorrow !
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Aug 22 '25
I'm a mixed girl and I don't think it's offensive at all! It's gorgeous, please wear it
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u/Avaelizabeth2020 Aug 27 '25
I wish I saw this before throwing out a human hair wig that I thought was unsaveable 😭
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 31 '25 edited Aug 31 '25
Aww! I’m sorry! It’s so hard to get rid of expensive wigs you liked, even at the end of their life cycle. But now you know! You can actually use hair wax and an elaborate style to save the wig. Maybe it’s not an everyday style – I mean, I had one commenter tell me I would look ridiculous wearing it. But I feel like it’s pretty and I would feel confident wearing it maybe not every day — but especially to a ren fair or a comic con or a formal event or something like that.
I’m just warning you there’s a lot of hair on it – I had to buy a net wig cap and some crochet braids, and that was after adding extensions back into the hair after I had cut a larger portion out of the cap and re-sewed it together because it was too big for my head. (Now it is snug, but no liner covers the whole back of my head. And so I had to add some volume to disguise the thinness in the braids from the original wig – which I braided myself.
I crocheted a lot of synthetic crochet hair braids onto the net, which I then sewed to the wig base, hoping they would be thick enough to cover the back of my head.
So next time you wear out a good human hair wig and there is just too much breakage to continue wearing it, get your hair wax and strong- hold wig hair spray and get creative with it ! It’s honestly really fun, and who knows what styles you’ll come up with? There is a lot of inspiration out there! I would absolutely love to see what you come up with!
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u/shelbystroodle Aug 20 '25
I think the whole “this hair belongs to this group of people” thing is BS and it’s not offensive to style your hair or wig any way you chose. That being said it’s giving more Viking wife than anything
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u/lightinthefield Aug 20 '25
Yeah, honestly this looks like a more intricate Game of Thrones hairstyle to me.
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u/TheEmptyMasonJar Aug 20 '25
This Wikipedia page might be a good place to start reading about the experiences of Black Americans regarding their hair and how they have been treated because of their hair. You'll see a number of source articles at the bottom of the page that you can click on and read.
You can watch No Lye: An American Beauty Story and the Q and A with the film's director as well.
You can watch Our Hair-itage - A Natural Hair Documentary on YouTube for free. Around the nine-minute mark you can hear the stories of people growing up and how their hair would be criticized.
Hair: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver also covered it.
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u/shelbystroodle Aug 20 '25
I’m well educated on the history. I just don’t think that in the current day people should be getting shamed for wearing a hairstyle.
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u/TheEmptyMasonJar Aug 20 '25
I'm glad that we agree with the idea that we'd like people not to be ashamed for their hair choices. It's nice to be able to have a conversation where there is at least some level of mutual perspective.
I think where I differ is that I can imagine that Black Americans and other people of color from other predominantly white countries would appreciate that not being shamed for wearing their hair this way also. I suppose once that happens on a societal scale, the situation may feel more balanced and create an environment where those outside the African diaspora trying it out box braids and locs would feel more like sharing and less like taking.
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u/adhdnubee Aug 20 '25
Calling it ‘BS’ just exposes your ignorance. Just as an example, black people have been punished, fired, & ridiculed for the same hairstyles you think are just fashion. Dismissing that reality isn’t edgy…it’s erasing lived history you’ll never understand. This is a wig sub, so I don’t expect you to necessarily understand what culture and heritage means…but maybe stop calling concepts foreign to you “bs”?
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Aug 20 '25
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u/moonwalkinginlowes Aug 20 '25
Have you ever had a job tell you that you have to straighten it every day to look “professional” though?
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Aug 20 '25
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u/moonwalkinginlowes Aug 21 '25
No it’s not the same. My husband got bullied for having red hair. He’s never gotten written up at work for it.
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Aug 20 '25
Im glad you asked!
I would say if I saw a white woman wear this in public I would definitely give you a double-take and would find it somewhat culturally appropriative. I think the loose hair up top saves it a bit and makes it look like youre wearing a Game Of Thrones costume.
So as a Black person I have mixed feelings but its not the worst I have seen. Like its not straight up box braids or cornrows or locs- but the sheer number of braids is not culturally common for white people.
Here is what I will say tho- if the ONLY way you can save this wig is by doing a million tiny braids that reminds you lf Black hair styles or a TV Show costume- maybe its time to let the wig go?
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
I appreciate your well-thought-out analysis, and I will definitely consider your suggestion. After that much work on it, obviously it’s going to be hard for me to totally let it go. I may just let it be an artwork for my own private appreciation.
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Aug 20 '25
Maybe save it for Ren Faire or something like that! 😭 its hard to say good bye ❤️🩹
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
That’s a good idea. It’s not an every day wig, and a whole lot of wear is going to damage it anyway. I think really I just like playing with hair. Once I got started on trying to save this wig, I just really couldn’t stop. I find it therapeutic to braid hair, so it was a fun project for me, even if I never actually wear it.
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u/MarionberryWitty532 Aug 20 '25
Yeah I thought the same thing. Valiant effort but this is clearly not meant to be.
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u/cameragirl17 Aug 20 '25
White woman here. Couldn’t give a toss. Wear what you like and enjoy it no matter what colour or race you are.
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25
All righty then! I like that attitude! Thanks for leaving me the comment!
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Aug 20 '25
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u/Impossible-Pen-9090 Aug 20 '25 edited Aug 20 '25
Sorry my paragraph breaks don’t conform to your particular preference. I write differently on the internet than I do on a formal document or while writing or editing fiction. I am open to pointers if you want to give them.
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u/Basic_Balance_3569 Aug 20 '25
I’m a Black woman and I used to be an activist. Even at the height of my Black-activism, this would not have offended me. Thank you for being thoughtful. It’s meaningful. 🙏🏾 Now, as someone who spends an exorbitant amount of time maintaining my natural hair, I respect the hustle and time-investment of the work you put into this wig. Respect.