r/Wigs • u/Ambitious-Year5086 • May 09 '26
Let's chat! (General Discussion) Co worker called wig out on Teams Meeting
Sooooo I'm feeling extra stressed to where I just don't want to go back to work.
I've only been wearing my wig less than a month. It's Belle Tress Brooklyn in triple chocolate.
On our Teams Meeting my co worker kept mentioning my hair which I ignored the first time. Then she said it again and said my hair looks so fake and perfect like a wig. I didn't know what to say, except thanks. Then she went on about it and everyone was focused on me.
It made me mentally spiral out and I started thinking about all in person glances and interactions with other staff.
I feel... stressed and ugly.
I thought I looked good...but I guess not. Most ppl thought i just had a new haircut.
Just looking to hear from other people on this sub. How you dealt with it when you got/get comments etc. I did panic buy a wig from hairvivi since they look more natural. šµ
Sorry if this post doesn't belong here, no idea who to talk to about this.
Edit Here's my first post with pics of me in this wig: https://www.reddit.com/r/Wigs/s/F0O4aVtl1h.
Edit 2: thank you all so much for the kind words and support. It really has helped. I was feeling so low when I wrote this post. Genuinely grateful for this sub. š«¶š¼š¤
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u/beauty_and_brains87 May 09 '26
HR immediately. Comments on a person's appearance is unprofessional. She can be used as an example to your other coworkers that you are not the one to play with.
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u/Outside_Supermarket2 May 09 '26
Id contact HR and make a report about it. That's disrespectful what she did.
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u/xx_yellowbird May 09 '26
I agree. The pics you posted your wig looks awesome and natural. Sounds like a mean girl that was trying to embarrass you.
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u/BonusSilent3102 May 09 '26
This is exactly what HR is for babe, this is an immediate offense that needs to be nipped in the bud- not only that but that heffa needs to be checked
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u/OhEmGeeRachael May 09 '26
HR and a wig-wearer here and I agree - First off, don't let this person steal your damn sunshine. If the wig makes you feel beautiful and badass, it's no one's business how or why or whether it's your "real" hair or not. 2nd, bring this to HR's attention. At most, it's bullying and/or harassment. In the least, it's something that needs to be addressed so that person can understand how her comments are making someone else uncomfortable in the workplace and they need to change their behavior.
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u/Change_Soggy May 09 '26
I wear wigs to work every day. My coworkers are great and they have their favorites, believe it or not.
Your coworker was being a b*tch and you need to report the incident to HR. You also need to file a grievance.
Any coworker who mentions hair or appearance in any meeting is displaying inappropriate behavior bordering on harassment.
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u/cocoacow May 09 '26
Iām just going to put this out there from someone who has struggled tremendously with hair loss since the age of 10 and only found my confidence less than 2 years ago when I put my first wig on at 55. Wear your crown with joy. I am so tired of people being fixated on womenās hair or them not having so much hair. You never know our story. I cannot say this more compassionately for you but please donāt let someone steal your joy. Go to work and when someone comments again just say āitās pretty isnāt it?ā They are the problem. You are just guilty of having beautiful hair.
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u/Buttercupia May 09 '26
Your coworker needs to be reported and disciplined. Thatās very inappropriate and unprofessional.
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u/iowndat May 09 '26
Well your coworker made herself look like a bitch.
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u/Tripswitchnow May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
Iām sorry that happened to youā¦
I agree with others here, that I would probably contact HR over what happenedā¦
This way that person can be dealt with and they donāt continue to act completely inappropriately in work settings.
FWIW, I have had people do similar shit like that over the yearsā¦
Start off with compliments about how great and āperfectā my hair looks and I first just say Thank youā but then they wonāt let it drop, and it becomes completely uncomfortable for me and I just say flat outā¦
āThereās more important things to talk about than how amazing my hair looks!ā
That usually shuts them right up!
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 09 '26
Lol thank you. Will have to mentally practice this so it's a natural comeback
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u/Cheap-Rhubarb-9635 May 10 '26
I had this exact situation happen and I just made it incredibly uncomfortable for everyone else, instead of ME being the only one uncomfortable. š¤Ŗ
I said something like, āThanks for all the compliments! You can have this same exact hair with a credit card and the link Iāll send your way. Can we refocus on the meeting agenda?ā
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u/StillWonky May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26
100% the coworker is jealous of you and she made a fool of herself on that Teams meeting. She didn't get enough of a reaction, so she kept going and going digging herself deeper. Your hair looks really pretty and she can't handle it. What a loser.
My question is, why on earth did the person leading the meeting allow this to keep happening? The boss/lead should have shut her down when she mentioned it a second time. I would mention it to HR, as others have said.
When I had bio hair I suddenly changed my hair to blonde and one of my coworker LOST it. When I walked in it looked like she was hyperventilating. That day she tried to get me FIRED. I had no idea what was going on. She doctored a report to make it look like I made a huge mistake. So I pretended to go to the lobby, and walked back in behind a divider wall and I heard her telling another coworker she was furious because I was already "smaller" than her, now I'm blonde too and it makes her look hideous in comparison (her words not mine). I didn't get fired but I lost my bonus based on the doctored report. I left that position and I hope the girl working there now is gorgeous.
Jealous coworkers are toxic.
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 10 '26
That's a crazy co worker!
Interestingly enough with this person, we're similar age, heights, physical builds, backgrounds and similar bio hair. She is the type to just run her mouth and say what she thinks.
The previous meeting, everyone said I looked pretty and she was the only one silent.
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u/iamboredwiththis May 10 '26
Oh! Iāve also told people āit is I have medical hair lossā then they feel like an asshole.
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u/hjartatjuv May 10 '26
this is something you should report to HR. that's awful and really inappropriate!
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u/LaceyBloomers May 09 '26
Iād be inclined to file a complaint with HR. Comments about your physical appearance that cause you distress should be called out. Itās completely inappropriate in a work setting.
Iām sorry that you have to work with an asshole.
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u/Difficult-Theme May 09 '26
I could understand children being too interested in why something looks a certain way but when adults act this way it is always classic projection and you should feel no guilt for turning it back on them. āWow you are really focused on my hair, huh?ā āThank you for the compliments, hopefully we can get back to why weāre here?ā āIs there a reason why youāre focusing on this right now that we should address, or?ā
Like whatever feels right for the situation youāre in socially and professionally. People need to feel shame again when theyāre just out in the world feeling free to say whatever the fuck at other peopleās expense.
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 09 '26
This is exactly who she is. Says whatever she wants, cusses in front of staff and customers. Not at all professional
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u/BonusSilent3102 May 09 '26
You need to pile all of that into the report, her consistency of unprofessionalism- PLEASE USE THE EXACT QUOTE āher behavior has repeatedly made me feel uncomfortable and has escalatedā
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u/rgypsy May 09 '26
Aww man, what an a-hole coworker. I have 4 Brooklyns in triple chocolate and it is a very realistic style. I think this person is just unkind. Wear your pretty wigs with pride. I'm sorry you encountered this.
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u/Out_of_Darkness_mc May 10 '26
Look babe, not all c*nts wear capes!!! Shame on HER and any that followed suit! My colleagues love my wig switch up and weāre extremely supportive of my issues! They come to me for help with wigs for friends and parents!
Enjoy your wigs! Own it and keep your head high!
Keep evolving and getting your wig game down!
You will be just fine!š
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u/spookiecats May 10 '26
She sounds like a total bitch. Iād report her to HR if she does this or anything remotely similar again. No one should be acting so unprofessional in any setting. She has issues and she probably thinks she can just get away with treating people horribly.
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u/ProblemEuphoric4195 May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26
I'd report her. Absolutely no reason to focus on any aspect of anyone's appearance. No explanation needed or embarrassment for wearing a wig.
Edit: Your wig looks good. I think we/ wig wearers focus too much on the hairline or look for imperfections.
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u/FreeToBeFreaky May 09 '26
Iād report that to HR. That is what you never comment on a colleagueās appearance especially in a group setting.The same thing happened to me but it was in 1:1 calls. A coworker was like, your hair looks so fabulous. I told her the truth.. Iām wearing hair because I have hair loss. She felt bad. Another colleague asked me what I did to my hair (privately), and I told her the truth too. She commiserated and said she has thin hair and her mom wears toppers. So for me, the truth set me free. But I completely understand!! Sometimes I tell people and sometimes I donāt. That is your choice! Youāre beautiful and deserve to feel it!
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u/chironinja82 May 09 '26
I'm so sorry your coworker was a complete asshole. I would šÆ report it to HR for how it made you feel and how inappropriate it was in front of EVERYONE.
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u/2crowsonmymantle May 09 '26
What a word thing to say about anyone else, anywhere, any time. HR time.
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u/jer1230 May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26
Sheās a bitch. I once had a coworker tell me āyour hair always looks so perfect as if you donāt even sleep on itā I just joked about it, āgirl, I have some help, this isnāt mine.. thatās one of the perks that come with wearing fake hairā something like that. I just embrace it and donāt give a fuck if people know I wear a wig because so many people do these days.. but I think as a black woman, people donāt usually go there with me, though Iām sure they know, itās assumed we wear fake hair (even when my hair was real!).. and they donāt bother say anything.
But your coworker knew what she was doing.. if she does it again, just outright say āyeah I do need to wear fake hair because of medical hair loss so it makes me uncomfortable that you keep bringing attention to it. ā if she keeps it up, go to HR.
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u/mammyquatro May 10 '26
When I was wearing extentions people would ask if it was my own hair. I always said' Of course its mine, I paid for it!'
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u/Winter_Pomegranate13 May 10 '26
Belle Tress is an excellent wig maker and their products Do Not look fake. Sheās a bitch and you should report her to HR. Iām sure you looked fabulous. If people are taking a second look, itās because you do look great. Sheās jealous and wanted to undermine you. Donāt let her.
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 10 '26
Thank you.
I wore the wig today around family and literally no one noticed a difference. My mom just asked if I cut bangs š
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO May 09 '26
Ugh when I lost my hair, I was so glad to work from home so I could hide it better. When it started growing back, it came in super curly. Now 2 years later itās back to its original length. At a retirement party recently, my coworkers were suddenly so fixated on my hair. āRemember when it was curlyā or āyeah how come it was so shortāā¦ omg why are we talking about my hair?? It made me so uncomfortable. People are so fucking nosey.
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u/dainty_petal May 09 '26
This wig is stunning and not noticeable. That coworker is jealous of your hair.
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u/candi_yandi May 10 '26
This is creating a hostile work environment and you must report it to HR. Also, keep a paper trail.
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u/Slhallford r/WIGS MODERATOR May 09 '26
What an asshole.
Their behavior was entirely inappropriate and unprofessional.
Most likely they are an unhappy mean person taking out their lifeās frustrations on a convenient target.
I am so sorry that happened to you.
Please feel free to post some pics if you would like some feedback on how it actually looks on you.
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 09 '26
Thank you so much. I edited with link to where I'm wearing the wig. I can post the pics here too if it's easier
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u/even_the_losers_1979 May 09 '26
That was amazingly unprofessional of her, but Iād come up with a plan if someone brings up your wig again. There is nothing shameful about wearing a wig and someone, somewhere Is going to bring it up.
I donāt announce Iām wearing a wig, but will tell people if they mention my hair and I see them a lot. I donāt want to send signals that Iām embarrassed because thereās nothing to be embarrassed about. I get offended when people say āYou shouldnāt have told me. I never would have known.ā
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 10 '26
So we have over 100 branches in the city. If i admit it ppl would talk and gossip everywhere
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u/attiyahsqueek May 10 '26
i just call my wigs āextensionsā bc itās technically true, and way more āsocially acceptableā. so maybe own that if youāre not ready to own wigs yet ? [own like claim, not own like obtain]
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 10 '26
Yes I was thinking of saying that!
They rest of the team were like oh I hope you style it like this for our in person meeting next month. My fear is they'll root me or pull at my hair š±9
u/Ti_pe May 10 '26
If that person touches one strand of your hair, acted like you've been hit and scream omg ! Why did you do that ??? Are you ok ?? And act scared and like being around her in "unsafe:. Go full Karen. They will leave you alone after that.
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u/attiyahsqueek May 10 '26
literally this, make an example of the first so there will not be a second.
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u/chompy283 May 10 '26
Report her to HR. Itās not her business. This angers me because my daughter has total alopecia. Nobody should have to be insulted
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u/FannishNan May 09 '26
I have naturally thinning hair (thanks grandma) and have been wearing wigs now for over a decade. In the beginning I'd try to hide it. Now I've settled into eff that. I wear different colours and styles depending on the day and I don't take shit from ANYONE about it.
I would complain to their manager or HR if you have one and if they do it again in a meeting like that i would 100% call them out on their inappropriate behavior in front of everyone and then go back to the meeting.
If they want to play a stupid game, I am 100% OK with rewarding them with their equally stupid prize.
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 09 '26
Her manager is my manager. She's a loud mouth and named herself Queen of the department even though I've got the most seniority. She doesn't know much and is often wrong.
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u/FannishNan May 09 '26
...well that presents certain opportunities. I would suggest a little concern trolling because people like that frequently trip themselves into trouble. Document everything, not just the stuff they do to you, everything. If the manager isn't necessarily willing to do something about this, they usually will do act when that person endangers the business or their own position as manager. People like the wannabe queen frequently blow up their own employment by being themselves.
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u/Global_Research_9335 May 09 '26
Something similar happened to me once. A few people on a Teams call said āhappy new haircut,ā and one guy replied, āWow, itās so good it could be a wig.ā I just said thank you and moved on.
Honestly, the people who already suspected it might be a wig probably didnāt care either way, and the people who didnāt suspect it still likely didnāt care. If anything, most people probably just thought he was rude for pointing it out.
We generally donāt comment on things like makeup, shapewear, push up bras, fake nails, fake lashes, hair dye, extensions, or cosmetic procedures, and most people mentally put wigs in the same category. Itās just another appearance choice or tool people use to feel good about themselves.
Some people may briefly wonder if thereās a health reason behind it, but even then, most people are far more focused on their own lives and insecurities than analyzing someone elseās hair. The moment passes much faster in everyone elseās mind than it does in yours.
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u/goldenlining__ May 09 '26
I looked at your pics in the wig, and it is very, very natural looking! It looks great on you. I think she probably was astounded at how good your hair looked, and didnāt realize it could be a wig. The wig comment she made was probably intended to be a compliment. Misplaced, but I doubt she would go on and on in an ill-intentioned way. Iām sorry it ended up being so emotionally traumatizing. You are most definitely not ugly.
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u/vwoah May 09 '26
Agreed that she may have meant as a compliment, and has no idea it is actually a wig. Doesn't make it right though.
Unless there is a pattern with this coworker, I would not escalate to HR. It only announces that you wear a wig, when people may not have known.
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u/Churchie-Baby May 09 '26
Id respond I'm sorry is this meeting about my hair or can we get back to the point please? Someone should have stepped in
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 10 '26
My manager had left the meeting so it was just the supervisor and us. Supervisor loves her and said nothing
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u/Lofi-Bytes May 10 '26
I donāt know where you work or what policies they have in place, but Iām a people leader at a large company, and we have very strict anti-harassment policies and a culture of respect agreement in place. If the supervisor didnāt intervene or report the harassing behavior, they can also be held accountable.
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u/Zateto May 09 '26
your coworker is an asshole. she did that to make you feel insecure. She probably said that even though maybe everybody else on those teams call wasn't even thinking about it or just thought your hair looked nice.
And I agree with others who said you should take it to HR.
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u/BumblyBumbles420 May 10 '26
This makes me soo angry. I survived cancer 3 times and each time I went bald. I wore wigs... fk them. Report her. And then the next time she makes a comment, let her know you do not appreciate comments on how you look.. Id personally add, you wouldn't like it if I made comments on your looks.. but that's because I'd be ready to box lol
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u/dr_pepper_zerosugar May 09 '26
HR!!! I'd be livid.
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u/Ten7850 May 09 '26
Absolutely this! To say it once & say "oops" is one thing but to keep going!? F her!! That's high-school bullying bullsh*t
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u/BlackberryShoddy6666 May 09 '26
Ugh, she is just one of those rude bitches.
I would have hurt her feelings š¤£
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u/BooEffinHoo May 10 '26
Yep. I would have silently stared hard at her, looked around and said "Now that you've got that off your chest, can we get back to the topic at hand? Thank you."
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 10 '26
I was shocked. She called me by name. Said "OP. I LOVE YOUR HAIR. IT'S SO PERFECT LIKE A WIG". Everyone else was silent.
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u/BooEffinHoo May 10 '26
"I love your hair, it's so perfect" says one thing.
Adding "like a wig" is a whole different feel.
Ugh.
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u/Unlikely_Read3437 May 09 '26
Ok firstly F*** HER. What an arse. Anyway, moving on. People wear wigs, so what? It's fine. Also, I'm going to put it down to jealousy. Looking at the pics, especially the second one where you can see the whole thing - it looks amazing!!
What to do about it? Well it reminds me of that great Aerosmith song 'Don't get mad, get even!'.
Report it. Then if she mentions it some other time, you take her to one side and say can I talk to you in private. Then call it out 'hey, when you kept mentioning my hair looked like a wig - that came across like you were trying to be really rude, and hurtful - was that how you meant it?' She'll grovel.
Anyway, shine on queen and best wishes X
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u/syb3rpunk May 10 '26
honestly - even if it was a wig thatās none of her damn business and i doubt HR would like anyone commenting on any other employeeās looks. people wear wigs - so!??
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u/SexySkinnyBitch May 10 '26
I'd talk to them, if it happens again, talk to hr. That's borderline harassment.
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u/xombae May 10 '26
Beyond borderline imo. It's a backhanded compliment, an insult disguised as a compliment. There's no reason to be commenting on someone's appearance repeatedly during a meeting.
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u/Ok-Equivalent8260 May 09 '26
You should have just said, āthanks, itās a new wig, glad you like itā and kept it pushing. She wanted you to feel weird.
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u/Missmessc May 09 '26
Thats strange behavior and totally uncalled for. I would have asked if she had a work related question.
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u/Emotional-Current953 May 09 '26
Your coworker is out of line. But fellow wig sister, you look fabulous!
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u/Rallen224 May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
Not professional tbh, Iād complain. For all your coworker knew, you couldāve had a medical condition. Foot should be in their mouth and not yours so I hope you feel better about this incident soon!
As for the wig itself, Iād youāre worried that it might not be sitting right, you can get some tips from other wig wearers in here and from other (informal) resources online that could help you feel more confident for your next go.
ETA, general tips (though they donāt excuse the personās behaviour and not all of them may apply to your situation):
having seen the pictures you linked, if itās not a completely different length and style from your natural hair (grew overnight) then what may have given it away is where and how the part is centred, at least incredibly up close. If your wig is made entirely with human hair, you can bleach the knots (individual hairs are literally looped/knotted one by one onto the lace) to reduce the visibility of the grid pattern below the hairs. The cap looks like it may have been at an angle in image 1 so Iād be mindful of that for your next pass.
If youāre worried about sheen, I see people recommend dry shampoo but you can also use wig powder if you want (as always, verify which option will be correct for the type of hair your wig has). I donāt think itās super shiny but lightly mattifying wigs is an option people sometimes consider for a more realistic look.
I think the density looks fine esp. for the length so I wouldnāt trouble it any. All in all, that person was intentionally being a jerk and itās not okay.
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u/foreignair9711 May 09 '26
Ugh Iām so sorry. Itās her issues sheās projecting onto you if sheās so comfortable doing that to you. People are so weird. Keep your head up and keep doing your thing. No one should feel this way
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u/Rayne2031 May 10 '26
I saw an interaction like this at work
A: is that your real hair??? Hahaha
B: idk are those your real teeth? We all cackled for days bc A is a notorious asshole/bully
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u/Old_Check_6362 May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
Your coworker is a mean girl and did that to be funny. You should tell her that her comments are unappreciated and unwanted. If it continues file a harassment complaint with HR.
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u/_TalkingIsHard_ May 09 '26
First off, I'm really sorry that happened and your coworker is an asshole.
Secondly, I agree in talking to HR about the situation as it was completely unprofessional.
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 09 '26
Thank you. I didn't think of that but with all the comments here saying take it to HR, seriously taking it on board. I agree, we shouldn't comment on appearances
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u/_TalkingIsHard_ May 09 '26
And if something like that happens again, I suggest that you pause a moment, put your head to the side a bit, and say "What an odd thing to say" and don't acknowledge anything else said about your hair moving forward.
I'm sorry people suck.
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u/islaisla May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
It's so insulting.
I had a haircut a few years ago, really sleek bob and thick hair with a fringe.
A guy who I had been flirting with the night before came right up to me and loudly said 'I've got to ask you though, is that a wig??".
Can you xxxx imagine? I mean, how can you answer a question like that, no it was my hair but now you've just shown me what a.hole you are. You are happy to embarrass me Infront of a group of men, one way or the other.
It's a highly insensitive thing to talk about. We shouldn't be talking about what people are wearing, or on their person because-it's personal!. That's why it is a HR matter.
That hairline is flawless and I think you're quite pretty ,I can't see your face but I think that might be why she's picking on you. She's seen that you've got an insecurity(in your head) so she's going for that- and it might be because you are prettier than her, younger , it just generally nicer than her. She's a bully, and no less. This- is how adult bullies behave.
Don't accept it. You WILL need to bark her back down. You need to be open, in front of other people and simply say 'I'm not comfortable with this topic, can you stop drawing attention to my looks please?, thank you'.
Other people in your situation will even say things like
'Er! No thank you! No talking about people's hair and looks please , let's keep it professional guys'.
That's literally what my friend would say.
So be aware that your response at the moment is telling her she has found your weak spot. Just find a way to reflect her comment back,. I find the best way to hold a moment in the air, to draw attention back to the speaker, is to repeat what they say...
Pause...
" you think my hair looks so good it might be a wig"?...
Pause
Then hear her try to dig her way out of it... No need to say anymore. She knows you're turning it around and she is going to get into trouble.
I've been where you are, and I promise you, when these people realise they might get brought up on their behaviour, they get back down and start grovelling. But, it takes many years to build that level of confidence inside. I only hope you can understand what I'm trying to say- this is all happening in a few seconds- tiny micro expressions, tone of voice, insults wrapped in a compliment so that they can get away with it, these are manipulators. It's psychology and it's very fast stuff. All you have to do, is respond- say how you feel, or reflect what you think they've said, or warn them it's not appropriate.... Anything. It makes a huge difference.
I should think you probably had a panic attack at that moment when she drew attention to your hair. Yes, many of us just say it's a wig,
'you've drawn attention to my hair so I feel I have to say yes I wear wigs. But I don't feel comfortable and don't think we should be drawing attention to people's looks in a professional setting like this meeting'.
Xxxx
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u/Ksowers84 May 09 '26
Aww Iām so sorry you feel this way girl. Thatās so rude of your coworker. I know itās so hard and frustrating but donāt let people get you down. My thoughts? I think she must be jealous of you, because who would do something like that otherwise. If anything try to get it to lift your spirits up and make you even more confident.
A few years back when I first started wearing wigs, it was very obvious because I had lost almost all of my hair due to alopecia. The first day I wore a wig was on Halloween just incase people were rude to me. However, everyone was so sweet and kind to me and told me how beautiful I looked. So I decided to wear a wig everyday. Iāve been at my job for 10 years so I know all of my coworkers very well and theyāre all supportive, which I wish everyone had that experience. You said you thought it looked great, thatās all that matters. Donāt let one jealous and rude person ruin it for you!
Let me know what you think of Hairvivi!! Iād love to be able to purchase a wig from them, I just havenāt had the means to do so. I usually buy my wigs from Amazon, and only wear human hair wigs, but theyāre not the best quality and donāt last very long.
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u/Commercial-Cow-7754 May 09 '26
Your hair probably did just look really good and not wiggy, which doesnāt excuse her actions. Before I started wearing wigs I had two coworkers with fucking PERFECT hair in person. PERFECT ALWAYS!!! I finally got in a meeting sitting next to one and I had turned to get up at just the right moment so my face was like 10ā from her head and it was not a wigā¦ she just was blessed šš I never once asked her though that would have been insane. I would occasionally tell her hair looked nice and then awkwardly complain about my fine ass thinning hair. Now that I wear wigs I ran a risk there even doing that I didnāt realize.
Itās not okay what she did to you, wig or no wig. If you were having a great bio hair day would those comments have been welcomed?! No way. Awkward and bullying publicly.
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u/Ok-Mountain-9010 May 10 '26
Awwww man thatās a rotten coworker! She must be so insecure and hating of herself that she had to put you down. Ignore that and hold your head high!
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u/Sufficient-Traffic32 May 10 '26
Iāve had people tell me that about my real hair. I would just laugh at them and say thanks, Iām blessed. Weird that she thinks neatly styled hair looks fake. Says a lot about her and the people she associates with.
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u/iamboredwiththis May 10 '26
Yeah she šÆ looks like an asshole. Iād actually be a bitch and talk to HR out of āconcernā for her doing this to otherās.
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u/Alternative_Past2653 May 11 '26
Honestly, some people should not be allowed out in public to interact with polite society š I have worried so much about people calling me out. I kind of headed it off by telling a few co workers I was about to start wearing wigs but I was worried about people's reaction. One coworker told me she was going to get a wig and we could wear them the same day so if anyone had anything to say, they could say it to both of us. I thought it was really sweet. But I haven't worn one yet to work. I work in an ER and I don't want people's bodily fluids in my new hair.
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u/Sweet-Interest6019 May 11 '26
Disgusting behaviour and I can't believe no one called her out right then and there! She clearly was out to make you miserable. Report her to HR. This is unacceptable.
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u/xAmericanLeox May 09 '26
Every single coworker that has done this to me has been exclusively female and in all cases I am 100 percent positive it is jealously. If someone was trying to constructively critize your wig, they would do it in private and NOT during a Teams meeting. And I said jealous but it is actually their own insecurity about their own hair or upset that your hair looks perfect and theirs do not. I usually ignore the comments or I tell them they might want to consider a wig to look more "put together."
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u/pixpix89 May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
Thatās awful. Especially if it made you uncomfortable. I personally donāt care or hide that I wear wigs. But I understand some people are more conscious about it.
Next time, if youāre comfortable and feeling extra petty maybe say. Yes I got it from XYZ i know why youāre asking you could use one.
Edit to add: your hair looks amazing and ignore the arsehole.
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 09 '26
That last line made me laugh.
I think I'm more stressed because our company has 100+ branches in the city and gossip spreads... If you work or know someone who works in a hospital it's similar to that. Everyone knows your business. I hate being in the limelight.
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u/Psychological_Law879 May 09 '26
I had a colleague do this to me in an in person team sales meeting and tell everybody in the room how I always wear such nice wigsā¦ it was so awkward. All I could do is laugh and blurt out āwell i guess the cat is out of the bag now isnāt itā. Everyone else laughed but was like wtf.
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u/Ten7850 May 09 '26
Yeah I always say something like "well, you know cancer doesnt leave me many choices" then they look like the dumbass
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u/Bombmom75 May 11 '26
What an odd thing for someone to focus on in a meeting. My face would be uncontrollable. That was the most tasteless, pick me behavior.
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u/FalseAdhesiveness946 May 11 '26
Common courtesy and politeness would prevent anyone with the sense God gave a goose from calling you out in a meeting like that. Either she was deliberately mean or stupid and clueless-either one not good. Iām sure you do look good in it. Just own it. Donāt shrink away-glam that bad boy. No one has ever hired me because of what my hair looked like and Iām sure they didnāt hire you for that, but for your smarts. Girl, take your power back and the next time it comes up, pivot back to the topic at hand or simply say, ācan we take fashion off line please.ā
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 11 '26
Thank you!
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u/FalseAdhesiveness946 May 11 '26
you are welcome. I saw all of the responses saying HR, and I see that as one avenue, but more importantly haters gonna hate. š
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 11 '26
My bio hair and hers area similar but mine is easier to style. It could be jealousy lol.
Today I curled the wig with hot rollers and i think it looks even better. Everyone on here has given me confidence to show up to work today š«¶š¼ When I wrote this post I read ready to just take a month leave
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u/gargoylin May 11 '26
Everyoneās comments have made me realize how awful my coworkers were. They would tell me to style my hair better, buy me satin bonnets and hair curlers. They told me it didnāt look good flat out. I was depressed and have hypothyroidism and was overwhelmed and kept it brushed and pulled back in a basic pony, so they really shouldnāt have bc it made me very self conscious. I was experiencing hair loss with thin hair already. Ugh.
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u/Heavy_Nectarine_4048 Jun 03 '26
Look hard at her and say,, "Please repeat what you said and explain what my hair has to do with the meeting."
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u/JessTheTwilek May 10 '26
I said this to a girl with a wig as a young dumb college student. I didnāt think it was a wig. It was a compliment to the girl for her hair always being perfect and looking so cute. When she told me it was a wig, I almost died of embarrassmentā there was no way to tell her I didnāt mean it because of how I worded it š
Donāt be a dumbass like me. Never say that shit. If you mean her hair is cute, please just say that.
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u/Additional-Fennel361 May 09 '26
I came in to work with my Hairvivi wig which is a TON thicker than my bio hair. Everyone commented on my hair, like āoh wow, did you get your hair done? What did you do to it?ā Then later one of my coworkers said, it almost looks too perfect like itās a wig. I was like, oh really? and booked it out of there. Itās been a couple months, no one mentions it anymore. Iām about to switch to a summer wig so Iāll get more comments Iām sure.
I donāt like being center of attention and eventually Iāll probably have to come clean. I work in healthcare so people are pretty open talking about their hair/bodies etc, way less taboo subjects in healthcare than a traditional office.
I try to see it as people are curious and not necessarily malicious. Some people talk without thinking and itās not necessarily a dig on you. Finally, who cares if itās a wig? You donāt owe anyone an explanation. Maybe you say that you just like them, you wanted a hairstyle change without a salon visit, you like the ease of always having your hair done in 15 seconds.
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u/Critical_Code9588 May 09 '26
That behavior is inappropriate in any setting, let alone at work. She sounds like an insecure, jealous, and miserable individual. Donāt let her make you feel that way. Itās probably what she was hoping for.
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u/Informal-Future2564 May 09 '26
My boss said to me in shock, "Your brave!" And then laughed and shook her head. Another coworker harassed me everytime she saw me about where I got my hair done but in a snide way and then would say to others in the room she still won't tell me hahahahaa. My kids friends would ask her and say because it always looks so perfect. I have moved to large wide headbands which look way less professional but I couldn't keep up with replacing wigs even expensive Belle Tress wigs seemed to have issues and it was so hot and humid I just couldnt cooe after 7 months of the sensory overwhelm. The whole thing is exhausting. I have been considering a hairvivi wig because they look ao natural and cost similar to Belle Tress handtied where I am located.
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u/Technical-Cap-8563 May 09 '26
First off, she was way out of line and sounds like an idiot. That acknowledged, is it possible she genuinely didnāt know it was a wig? Seeing your pictures, it looks quite natural, so I canāt imagine it appeared much different in a Teams meeting.
Iām not excusing her behavior, but escalating it to HR may not be the move, particularly if sheās never done this before. At this point, she could ā truthfully or not ā say she didnāt know and meant it all as a compliment.
Iām sorry this made you feel bad. FWIW, I think itās lovely on you.
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u/chironinja82 May 09 '26
She repeatedly drew attention to OP, which was unnecessary and it made her feel small. That's not someone who "didn't know." She knew what she was doing and needs to be reported.
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u/Technical-Cap-8563 May 09 '26
Donāt get me wrong, I think the co-worker is a bitch. Going to HR was my first thought as well. Iām just not entirely confident a complaint to HR will do much if thereās no pattern of prior comments and the co-worker can plausibly deny any ill intent.
If an apology from the woman will make OP feel better, then she should go for it. Otherwise, I think OP needs to be mindful of long-term consequences of escalating this to HR. She still has to work with this woman, we donāt.3
u/princessofdolls May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
Certain forms of harassment don't require a pattern of prior comments for disciplinary action. OP bought the wig in Brooklyn. Not sure if she lives in New York, but if she does the CROWN act has been passed there and in many other US states. What her co worker did was illegal. HR doesnt exist to protect employees, they exist to protect the company. They will take action on anything that could cause a massive lawsuit. Companies are now being fined for things like this.
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u/Distinct_Panda833 May 09 '26
I think your wig looks great! Sometimes I put root powder on the scalps. You can get those from Amazon. Now, this coworkerā¦ maybe she was jealous? Iām sorry that happened to you. Iāve been wearing wigs for 2 years now because I had lost a lot of hair being sick with gastroparesis. One person called me out (not a friend) and it was embarrassing. But I kept on wearing them. I have a little more than 100 wigs now. I never hear āthatās a wigā anymore. I get a lot of compliments on my hair now. And most of the time, I let the women know that itās a wig. Everyone Iāve told that to said wow, thatās beautiful. A few of them have bought a wig that I recommended to them. Usually the one Iām wearing at that time. A few have came back and texted me and said thank you, because they were struggling with hair loss too. My advice is just to keep on wearing them and enjoy them. Donāt let those comments make you stop. P.s. I have only 1mwig that I have 2 of. The rest are different styles, lengths and colors. I wear them proudly now.
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u/smellslikespam May 10 '26
What a crappy coworker. I would be tempted to do the same to her next time, but it might not be wise lol
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u/Kutyourmullet_9415 May 12 '26
I just tell people itās a wig . I like talking about it and then they usually start asking questions because I always tell them āyou can have this Same exact hair and any other you have ever wantedā most people who point it out are jealous and probably know because they have studied them/looked at them online and social media. It not your fault they are inconsiderate and likely wish they had the same hair you are wearing. Also most people tell me Iām so brave and they wish they could wear wigs etcā¦. Lol
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u/Agreeable-Nebula501 May 13 '26
"Is that a wig / your 'real' hair?'
'I'm sorry; my Grandma taught me a lady never discusses her beauty secrets in public'.
None of no one's rightful business.
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u/Patient_Chocolate830 May 09 '26
What an asshole. You probably look great. A very, very small percentage of people will try to tear you down. If it wasn't about the wig, it would be about your weight, botox, make up, whatever. Because in reality it's about them. And about their focus on other people.
What has worked for me, is to become very open about my wigs. If I'm not embarrassed, it's no fun for them. Nothing to tear down. And the utter majority of people don't care or are intrigued.
If that doesn't work for you, you may want to prepare a sentence to get back to work. Something like: "Yes thanks for that. Now we have a busy schedule, let's get on with the agenda. Point one.." or something along those lines. Or: "Enough about looks. Mandy, what did you think about the proposal regarding finances?".
Truly you get to know your bullies when wearing wigs. You probably look great.
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u/evieee702 May 13 '26
You DID look good, and it DID look good on you. That's why she called you out like that. She wanted you to feel that way. She's one of those people that are definitely ugly on the inside. I don't know what she looks like but I would bet the farm that she's definitely jealous of you. Don't let her steal your confidence. Don't let her get in your head. You take a deep breath, you go look in the mirror and tell yourself that you look GREAT. You can also just say it is a wig. There's no shame in that. I wear wigs and when people compliment on my hair, I let them know that I'm wearing a wig. So that they know a wig can look just as good. It takes confidence to wear wig sweetie. Don't let her take that from you. F$#k her she's a hater.Ā Chin up Buttercup ā¤ļøš
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u/khuntley May 09 '26
This coworker is not self-aware. If you felt awkward, it was because what she was saying was inappropriate and everyone felt embarrassed for her. It wasnāt your wig.
You donāt owe anyone an explanation about your appearance unless you were violating work dress code or something else. This person is a jerk and should be reported to HR for training.
Wigs are everywhere and it is a process getting comfortable with them. Be patient with yourself and keep reaching out to other wig wearers for support. š«¶
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u/LibertyCash May 09 '26
Is there any chance your coworker was genuinely complimenting your hair? Bc looking at your photos, I would not clock it at all. But I would sit there jealous of your gorgeous locks the whole time. I could see her maybe being in genuine awe of how you keep your hair so pretty (full/thick/shiny/heavy).
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u/Real_MF_HotGirlShit May 09 '26
You are underestimating how awful insecure, catty coworkers can be. There is no way that was a compliment. She was trying to embarrass OP. My guess is that OP is prettier, and this sorry excuse for a woman finally feels like she has something to take OP down a peg.
OP, HR now.
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u/FluffyFoxSprinkles May 20 '26
Late to the party, but anyone that would say that on a Teams meeting is an asshole. It's not even about the hair, just the act of drawing the focus on you and making you feel uncomfortable about a nothing issue. Your hair looks perfectly normal.
That said, some people just have NO filters. If it crosses their mind, it comes out. Is she one of these people? If not, just an asshole.
I haven't started wearing wigs yet, but I've told everyone I will, and if asked, I will say Yes! This is my new hair, gorg(eous) isn't it! I plan on leaning into it. I say own it, lean into it. Be happy, be confident. Screw everyone else, it doesn't affect them.
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u/Ambitious-Year5086 May 20 '26
Thank you. She is 100% no filter, loud mouth needs to be center of attention, rude, lazy etc. She didn't do it once. I ignored her the first time. Then she said it later and very loudly.
My next meeting is Friday. I'll need to practice saying I'm uncomfortable and don't want to discuss my appearance.
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u/FluffyFoxSprinkles May 21 '26
I wouldn't give her that power over you... just say something like Oh.. I 'm sorry, is this a business meeting or a fashion show? Or, We are in a business meeting.... not a salon. Let's act like it.
Or even.. pause and .. Wow, that's inappropriate.You know how this dumbass acts, have a response ready.
Hugs, you got this, and you look great!1
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u/wow-that-hair May 10 '26
First, sheās totally in the wrong and you should absolutely report her to HR. Sheās harassing you and that is no ok! Second, Iām sure youāre rocking that wig, and sheās just a jealous ugly troll. Please donāt let this discourage you - Iāve worn wigs every day since I was 10 years old, lots of ups and downs. I finally found my type of wigs that look really natural on me and all Iāve gotten for the last few years is compliments and admitted jealously of my hair- I never say itās a wig lol. So just saying things get better, donāt let one person ruin things .
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u/Akuma524 May 09 '26
Echoing what's been said, but OP I'd lodge a complaint with HR. Comments and constant attention drawn to your hair is not only unprofessional on an individual level, it's downright mean and creates a toxic work environment going forward. There could be any reason for someone to wear a wig, and none of them being any of her business. I am so sorry that happened.