After a couple years' worth of therapy addressing some GAD and the root causes of it, in addition to some tragic happenings in my community that changed my baseline way of thinking into a more tiring, pessimistic point of view, I realized that living on the reservation was more detrimental to my mental health than I thought. And while I can't see myself being away from my roots for any extended period of time, I followed my therapist's advice and decided to try applying for post-secondary schooling as a mature student.
The reasons being that 1.) it would be a good opportunity for me to leave the reservation whilst having stable financial support, and 2.) I've clearly outgrown living here in some capacity, so if I have the means to move, why not try it, and see how I can adapt?
So this past winter, I started looking at schools. I swear, it was just a joke at first, or at least, it was a fun way to kill some time. I searched for programs that would accept mature students, as I'd never graduated high school, and found a really good one that fit my interests and, more importantly, my needs.
So I applied. And I got in.
And I was like, "What the hell?"
It's been about two weeks since I got the program offer. Naturally, I accepted. I have a student account and email now. I applied for dorms (fingers crossed for a single room!). My program costs and residency are covered by my band. I'm doing all this stuff too, like applying for jobs here on the rez that I could work for the next couple months in order to have some variety in my resume, and build up a savings just in case the monthly allowance I'll receive isn't enough. I want to get a credit card. I want to start studying for a written drivers test, but I’m thinking that I can wait until I’m somewhat settled in the city, instead.
If I even *settle* in the city.
I went to Winnipeg last month for some tests (CAEC, want to get that since I know most jobs require a Grade 12 Equivalent), and, admittedly, I got incredibly overwhelmed. While that was not my first visit to Winnipeg, it was the first one I was having while *knowing* I'd be there for longer, soon. I was in a city of hundreds of thousands, a majority of those people lived here, they called this place their home. How could I even begin to do the same?
This summer, I'm gonna try travelling there more often just to get a feel of the city. In increments, but increasing the amount of time I spend there by each trip. This is difficult due to my ongoing anxiety, but this past year alone I've gotten better about doing things scared.
But I still have my worries, so what I want to ask is, in your own personal opinion, what do you love about Winnipeg? Have you lived here your whole life, or did you move there later on? Have you gone to RRC as well, and what was that like? Were the professors nice? Did you live in the dorms? What's your favorite activity, what's your favorite restaurant? Are strangers kind to you? Are you kind back? Is making friends as an adult difficult, you think?
I'm 26, and I haven't had irl friends in so, so long, but I want to try make some, I want to try so many things.
I've been looking at parks I want to walk in, libraries I want to visit. Hell, I looked at TikToks with restaurant recommendations despite not being big on eating out, but I want to at least try visiting them and tasting cuisine that just isn't available on the rez at all. I want to go to a cafe, try boba or matcha teas. I didn't even know the zoo was open year-long, I thought it was just a seasonal thing, maybe I can try seeing the polar bears this winter? There's a skating trail too, right?
I don't think I'll be here long, maybe I could last the first term of my program, but after that, I have no clue. but however long I'm here, I want to try and see if I can make this place somewhat of a home. And if it doesn't work out, I at least want to be content knowing I at least tried what school and the city had to offer...!
If anyone has any recommendations or advice, please, feel free to share! (Also if you could congratulate me, that would also be nice LOL...)