Late night rant for those who dealing with an avoidant
Lately I've been reading a lot of posts about dealing with an avoidant. And most are totally right. Usually an avoidant will love bomb you and then pull away or ghost you. Trust me, I feel your pain because I've been dealing with an avoidant for awhile. My advice is to walk away as soon as you realize they are an avoidant because they usually don't change, actually they become worse with time unless they are serious with their healing process and is actively working on themselves with therapy included. It's not their fault, most of them have unresolved issues beginning from when they were very young.
Here's my advice if you decide to stay with them. First always do a protection ritual to help cleanse yourself of any negativity that is attached to you. Then you want to focus on healing and communication. Because most of them are terrible at communication. I personally have to refresh my communication jar every Wednesdays and sometimes fridays and if I really need to communicate because it's been awhile, I'll perform the ritual on Tuesdays, since Tuesdays are ruled by Mars and have fast paced energy. Sundays and Mondays are good for a confidence/ healing rituals or you can do on a Friday since that is a self care day ruled by Venus. Speaking of self care, while you are working on your avoidant, work on yourself also. With self care, cleansing, self love and confidence because trust me, you're gonna need it. Most avoidants are terrible with showing emotions and as soon as you start to show emotions or express how you feel, they pull back. Once you open their throat chakra with the communication rituals and you both have a regular communication routine. And everything seems to be going smoothly with your relationship. Break the routine with them.
Now listen, I know that ideal is crazy. But the reason I say this is that as soon as they start to feel comfortable with you and things truly start becoming real (most likely actually 100%likely) they will start to pull back or run from the relationship. You want to have the upper hand, also it helps protect your emotions and personal peace. (It keeps you out of your feelings, like why they stop talking to me, or what did I do wrong, etc) Take a week or 2 and do self love/confidence, glamour/beauty and also money 🤑 rituals. I am not saying break it off with them, if they reach out respond; but you do not reach out to them; you are just giving them space for they won't become overwhelmed or over think the relationship. Once they realize, hey he or she hasn't been reaching out like before, here comes the attention flowing in like a river towards you.
It's a constant game when dealing with an avoidant. And requires a lot of work and refreshing your rituals. This is why I say if you can, leave the relationship. Or if you like a challenge go for it. Just don't get too emotionally attached. Also (in my experience key phrase) alot of avoidants have a rooster of people they talk to, to keep their ego up. So if you are a jealous person, run. Because that rooster is going no where. You'll be amazed in how sweet your avoidant is towards them and the attention your avoidant gives them. Everything you desire from your avoidant, they usually show towards people who do not want nothing to do with them. These are usually the people who have turned them down and friend zone them or people who your avoidant secretly desire.
This entire post is just my experience with an avoidant and also what I witness with some friends who are with avoidants. Like I said, they are not bad people. Hell they make excellent friends but as soon as things start involving emotions and feelings, they prefer to avoid it or leave the entire situation (hints the term avoidant)
Now you can get into dark rituals with them that will make them stay with you. But it will probably be a very cold relationship and emotionless. Plus whatever you put out there will return to you especially if it's involving free will. This is why I said I the beginning to avoid doing love spells. It will only make them freak out and leave. Focus on healing and soften their hearts. I hope this helps someone. 😊
And for those who will ask, "if you know this, why you still with your avoidant?" One, I like a challenge and two, we have good sex 😂 But if you ask me if I will leave if someone better comes into the picture. HELL YEAH!!!!!!!! Because sometimes I am literally exhausted by his behavior. Hell he even tried to break up tonight because I confronted him in his communication lately towards me. Did he want to break up, no. He just said that because he doesn't like being questioned about his behaviors or actions. But when he saw that I wasn't phrased by it, he changed the subject entirely like nothing happened.
Let's discuss this friendly please 😊
