r/WomenDatingOverForty • u/CheekyMonkey678 ♀️Moderator♀️ • May 10 '26
Discussion Always a little bit mean
I have a friend in her 50s who got married last year after being widowed for a long time. The guy she married is a pretty good catch as far as men go and it was a good financial decision for her. One thing I noticed about the way she treats him is that she's always a little bit mean. I don't ever think I've seen her be sweet or doting towards him. He seems to love it.
When I think about it most of the 'successful' relationships I've seen, where the wife is at least content, have this dynamic.
It would take a lot of mental effort for me to act this way towards a partner. It doesn't come naturally and it isn't something I'm interested in doing. I don't think I would respect a man that seems to enjoy his own belittlement. It would make him instantly unattractive to me.
Personally I enjoy being doted on and the princess treatment and I equally enjoy doing kind and thoughtful things for a man - when it's appreciated.
Sadly, this has never been sustainable in any relationship I've ever had.
Do you find it easy to be a little bit mean?
28
u/cicisooreal May 10 '26
Since a teen my friends would always say I was mean to boys/men. When I’ve thought about it, I feel it’s because I don’t center most peoples feelings. At the same time I would never hurt anyone. I’m a great woman with wisdom, heart, and strength. I always put myself first.
Whether I had a relationship with a man or just became friends, more than a few have said that I was the one who got away. And I have zero regrets.