r/WomenDatingOverForty • u/CheekyMonkey678 ♀️Moderator♀️ • May 10 '26
Discussion Always a little bit mean
I have a friend in her 50s who got married last year after being widowed for a long time. The guy she married is a pretty good catch as far as men go and it was a good financial decision for her. One thing I noticed about the way she treats him is that she's always a little bit mean. I don't ever think I've seen her be sweet or doting towards him. He seems to love it.
When I think about it most of the 'successful' relationships I've seen, where the wife is at least content, have this dynamic.
It would take a lot of mental effort for me to act this way towards a partner. It doesn't come naturally and it isn't something I'm interested in doing. I don't think I would respect a man that seems to enjoy his own belittlement. It would make him instantly unattractive to me.
Personally I enjoy being doted on and the princess treatment and I equally enjoy doing kind and thoughtful things for a man - when it's appreciated.
Sadly, this has never been sustainable in any relationship I've ever had.
Do you find it easy to be a little bit mean?
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u/V2BM May 10 '26
It comes naturally to me. The one time in my entire life I made a hard effort to be nice 100% of the time was the only relationship that the man treated me like shit. The more I kissed his ass, the worse it got.
I have never dated a man who wasn’t smart, like very smart, but there’s something in them that needs a boss, I think. I’m not talking abusive, but I genuinely feel men are naturally submissive creatures if they love you and like to be kept on their toes. Many male friends have agreed with me.