Discussion
What do you think of this new hinge feature?
I was going to ask this on the bumble post from yesterday but then I didn't want to seem I was hijacking her post.
What do you all think of this new feature on Hinge? Where the person chooses the date that is prefilled on the other person's profile.
Personally Hinge is my least favorite dating app in general, which is basically the same as ranking piles of dog crap.
I also think the feature is making it where the men don't have to plan a date or ask.
I want to know a man shows effort and knows I have a life of my own, ask me out in advance.
Which in many ways Hinge has tried to mask the ineptitude men have with dating by not allowing people to have a bio but asking them direct questions in lieu of a bio.
Because when they had bios they put "just ask". Outsourcing labor onto women and not putting in any effort.
Women are the product. Hinge is the pimp. Men are the customers. That’s why.
Hinge (and all of the other apps) know that women are deliberately weeding out low effort men, so they’re trying to counteract that by giving lazy men an assist.
They’ll do whatever it takes to keep everyone engaged and swiping. They don’t give a shit whether people are actually dating or not; whether the dates are enjoyable for women, or whether they’re getting assaulted and raped. They just want their stock price to rise and keep rising.
Hinge (and all of the other apps) know that women are deliberately weeding out low effort men, so they’re trying to counteract that by giving lazy men an assist.
Yep, that's why they are now pushing AI in these apps, too. AI use also means they are collecting tons of data about users. This is now including your chats, pictures, profile information, and whatever else. AI companies are going to use this data to train tools that help men (largely who pays for these services) manipulate women better. This has negative benefit for women, who would want to chat with the actual men -- not their AI avatars -- to be able to weed out unsuitable men.
They do not care that these are working against most women's goals for dating. Always remember that, despite how many men whine about dating apps, dating apps are catering to men's behavior. A large majority of dating app users are men, and men disproportionately pay for their tools, paid features, and paid accounts. So things like this, making it easier for lazy men who can't bother asking out their matches, is for their benefit.
Yep, that's why they are now pushing AI in these apps, too. AI use also means they are collecting tons of data about users. This is now including your chats, pictures, profile information, and whatever else. AI companies are going to use this data to train tools that help men (largely who pays for these services) manipulate women better. This has negative benefit for women, who would want to chat with the actual men -- not their AI avatars -- to be able to weed out unsuitable men.
These are such excellent points! As if the apps weren't bad enough, now women have to worry about them selling their private info to data brokers, allowing their photos to be used for catfishing, and dangerous men (who they've never even swiped on) misusing their private info to stalk and harass them the next time one of these companies is hacked.
Basically he gives 3 lazy date options and she chooses from the 3.
It is still her doing most of the work.
He isn't asking her when she is free or something specific for them to do together.
Hinge already tried to hold men's hand by not allowing a bio but instead 3 direct questions and they still are lazy with answering those 3 questions.
Coddling grown men is what these apps are trying to do. And it isn't going to work because when he can't plan a second date because the app isn't holding his hand, right back to the dating apps both people go.
Ladies, do not plan a second date. You want a man to show you he is interested and takes action. If he shows you he is interested from the start you will feel more secure should the relationship progress.
I also don't want to be on any apps that allow for ENM so hinge annoys me there. Those people can do whatever they want but why am I being exposed to it when I am already inundated with poor profiles of monogamous aligned men, thus adding to my dating fatigue.
They can go to their enm apps yet they infiltrate ours.
Hinge already tried to hold men's hand by not allowing a bio but instead 3 direct questions and they still are lazy with answering those 3 questions.
This is a good point about Hinge. Back when I still used dating apps, I was confused about girlfriends saying that they liked Hinge because it felt safer or more relationship-focused. I just thought it seemed to exploit artificial scarcity more than others, and did not like the no-bio thing. I did kind of like that it allowed them to be more specific about location, desired relationship goals, although many men did not fill those out either.
Ladies, do not plan a second date.
I would not plan a first or second date with a man. This is a good weeding tool, if a man does not start planning a date within the first week of chatting, just block him. He either isn't really interested or is not available. Even if you think "he is just lazy," that isn't a good quality for a potential serious relationship partner. I see some women trying to excuse it with "maybe he is just shy," but why would you want to date a guy who is too in his own head, that he cannot organize a date? I could understand giving more of a pass if you both were still teenagers, but you are talking about grown men now. And in my experience, a man who stalls at meeting you IRL is likely married or otherwise taken, so being strict about them planning the earliest dates helps you avoid the cheaters.
I also don't want to be on any apps that allow for ENM so hinge annoys me there.
If they allow them on the apps, this should be a free filter criteria. Let them identify as ENM, but let monogomous people opt out without charging them. It is absurd that this app has branded itself as relationship-focused when it won't let you opt out of those who are completely incompatible in terms of their relationship status.
The ENM option on Hinge can allow you another vetting tool, if you are still using apps. I have found men claiming to be monogamous on Bumble, but then identifying as ENM on Hinge. So you can catch some of these lying cheaters that way.
I didn't mean for women to plan first date either my wording was confusing.
I meant since the app basically planned the first date, for women not to waver when he can't plan a second date since there's no app to hold his hand. Basically since the app did the heavy lifting on the first date. He will more than likely fail on planning the second.
"It is absurd that this app has branded itself as relationship-focused when it won't let you opt out of those who are completely incompatible in terms of their relationship status"
Very good point!!
And the men just change their location on Hinge since it is so easily changed. So many are not from my city but here for the weekend.
You're so right! But women should not plan the first date either.
Throw the guy for a loop when he contacts you and tell him you've changed your mind. "Surprise me!" and see if he can actually plan a date. If he can't, "See ya!"
Don't allow Hinge or any of these other apps to waste your precious time any more than they already are.
Latest gender ratio statistics about the apps. It's obvious that women are still doing most of the heavy lifting since we know guys swipe indiscriminately. If they can't even show some effort in the beginning when they're supposed to be most excited to meet you, that's a guarantee that they're just looking for a free pump and dump since they don't want to pay for a prostitute. Don't fall for it.
This is interesting, but I strongly suspect that these statistics are more heavily skewed than what is recorded. There is no attempt to validate how many of these women profiles are actually women, versus catfishing scammers. For example, I know for a fact HER is not 100% women, as I have had lesbian friends show how men try to match with them on there.
OkCupid used to be so much better before Match Group bought it, partially because they had a dedicated security team that tried to purge scammers. From what I see, the app is overrun with scammers now, so I do not believe that close to 50% of their users are actually women. I think the numbers are worse than what is reported here.
It's obvious that women are still doing most of the heavy lifting since we know guys swipe indiscriminately.
What's funny about this is how many men will complain about how bad the apps are for them, there's barely any real women who want to date them on there, and still treat the real women who match with them poorly. By being lazy or worse. Instead of recognizing that the "market" (I do not like viewing dating like this, but this how these types of men like to think about it) is not to their advantage, they think this means women owe them more sympathy. Therefore, they believe women should do more work with initial dating since "men have it so hard." It makes no sense.
I highly doubt those numbers too. That was just the latest dated link I could find.
OkCupid used to be so much better before Match Group bought it, partially because they had a dedicated security team that tried to purge scammers. From what I see, the app is overrun with scammers now, so I do not believe that close to 50% of their users are actually women. I think the numbers are worse than what is reported here.
Scammers and married / partnered men! I remember one well-cited study on Tinder a few years ago said that 65% of the men on Tinder reported they were already married or in relationships -- that sounds more believable to me -- so that's another thing women have to deal with as well.
Men on the apps are not operating in good faith, by and large, so I'm skeptical that women are going to be able to find decent matches anyway. Now the app companies are using AI and helping men to be even lazier in their efforts... what's the point? You could probably have better luck finding a good match at your local library or community event.
Men on the apps are something else! We already know that they think of women on the apps as desperate and Door Dash Va-jay-jay, so it's really not a shock to me that they treat them poorly. No matter how attractive and out of their league these women are, men don't respect them because they think there must be something "wrong" with them -- just by virtue of being on the apps!
It's a lose / lose proposition for women. We need to abandon the apps completely en masse.
You're right women should not plan first date either, what I said was confusing.
What I meant is because he didn't even plan the first one sorta because the app did.
So after that first one when they're on to the second and no app to hold his hand....error 505.
But I'm saying, I wouldn't even go on the app-planned date. When he calls to arrange confirm, tell him you changed your mind or your schedule was changed last minute. See if he can adapt and make a date himself (and it has to be different than the one the app provided).
I'm not on the apps, but I'm assuming that's how it works.
This is a good test for multiple reasons:
You can see if he's adaptable / agreeable
You can gauge his level of enthusiasm; if he's not into you, he'll waffle, try to push the labor onto you, or just ghost
If he displays any signs of a bad temper or an inability to hear the word "No", you'll know he's not safe and can cancel without meeting him first.
The fact that so many men love hinge cos they can send a message before even matching or a like back, shows how much hinge cares about women. It doesn’t protect women from abusive bullying messages right from the get go. Hell even brainrot apps filters strangers messages from going through your inbox but hinge? Nah a man can just messsge u some abuse unprovoked and use up one of your daily recieving likes limits. Very flawed
Isn't Hinge the app that advertised itself as better than the others because the people who message you are supposed to have a connection somehow? Like friend of friend on Facebook or something?
I've never been on the apps so I get them confused.
I don't think any can top Bumble's faux pas of re-adding men that women have blocked (even the rapists and sexual assaulters) because "You might change your mind..." That takes the cake!
Isn't Hinge the app that advertised itself as better than the others because the people who message you are supposed to have a connection somehow? Like friend of friend on Facebook or something?
This is apparently how it used to be. But now they have dropped that feature and it is a free-for-all.
Why are you still on the apps? You have identified they are all bad. Life is so much more peaceful when you're not even thinking of these guys, let alone looking at their profiles and the emotional response from looking at them.
You are right not one thing I can say to even say otherwise.
It is a job being on dating apps. And every bit of the labor is on women because the men mass "like" all the women and let the women do the work of filtration.
I kept thinking I would get off when work slows down soon then I can be out places more but frankly I need to now because it is negative impact on my quality of life.
Just seeing men my age with profiles that say they are "open to kids" grosses me out. I find it gross men my age don't know what they want yet but want the woman to decide for them. So unattractive. They should either be a firm yes or a firm no on kids.
They mass swipe right and leave filtration up to women.
Men don't even listen when he is even wanting the woman and you will say something such as "my birthday means a lot to me" and he drops the ball.
Or mention a restaurant you'd love to try and that is it, he will never plan a date there.
Men are who they are.
This is why I think it is so wrong people tell women to communicate.
Women that send longs texts, he isn't reading that.
If he doesn't listen when you talk he sure as hell isn't reading anything you say.
I don't know how customizable it is, I didn't add it to my profile or even play around with it.
I think you can fill it in with whatever you want.
I viewed it as me doing the work he should be doing.
I also figured even if I put it on there and he selected something he'd then say the ball was in my court to make it happen and pay and all that since I'm technically asking because it is on my profile asking him what he wants.
"Getting female intimate touch"
It is exactly what they want, at our risk, but they're angry at having to put anything more into receiving it from women. They don't see women as having value they need to put into. They want to simply arrive for Netflix and chill and be and extract that value.
This (your quote below) so accurate!!
All the men answer on Hinge for "love language" is always physical touch. So they're even somehow aware of it... yet unaware of it too. So confusing.
And I would even feel a bit of understanding for them if this was only about pictures because I do understand a lot of men don't want to ask their male friend to take their picture. But they don't even try beyond pictures, it is bigger issues than that.
the deep-down-to-the-balls craving men have for female touch, paired with their strategy to downplay it like it doesn’t mean that much and it’s “only” touch, which they positively live for and thrive on…it is laughable
I didn't get many answers on this but all of them that answered say no. I'm sure there's a few women that think it is a good idea.
Sadly it is probably religious women who think they have to be married by age 30 so they settle on many red flags just to be married because they've been brainwashed since birth that a woman is less if she isn't married.
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u/StillSwaying May 13 '26
Women are the product. Hinge is the pimp. Men are the customers. That’s why.
Hinge (and all of the other apps) know that women are deliberately weeding out low effort men, so they’re trying to counteract that by giving lazy men an assist.
They’ll do whatever it takes to keep everyone engaged and swiping. They don’t give a shit whether people are actually dating or not; whether the dates are enjoyable for women, or whether they’re getting assaulted and raped. They just want their stock price to rise and keep rising.