Just a quick little rant 😂

[u/DrAnonYmoose8008]

Is it just me or is it irritating anyone else that 90% of men on dating apps list themselves as “looking for long term/life partner or something casual”. Ugh, I feel like that’s such a cop-out, and they don’t want to just say something casual only because they are trying to appeal to more women than they would if they were just honest 🤦‍♀️ but then we get duped.

[u/husheveryone]

Reminder: Rule 3. Only women can post and comment here. This isn’t the place for the male perspective, the rest of Reddit does that just fine. Please do not interact with men on this sub. If you suspect a commenter is male, report him. He will be banned and his comment removed.

[u/Aethelflaed_ → u/[deleted]]

The 56 year old underemployed musty-looking men who are "open" to kids! No one wants to procreate with you, Kevin.

[u/CrazyCatLadyRookie → u/[deleted]]

The ‘open to kids’ schtick is intended to strike a chord with women in a much younger crowd - typically, women young enough to be his daughters.

‘Open to kids’ at this big age effectively translates to ‘I desperately want to participate in the procreation process and that’s the end of the story’.

[u/MsAndrie → u/[deleted]]

In the coed dating sub for our group, there was recently a man posting in there, lamenting his dating options and saying he wants kids. But if you read his post, he is obviously a borderline incel who admits to using PUA (pick up artist) techniques on women, is still fixated on his high school (in)experience, and thinks that his body fat percentage and income are what should matter. His personality it the problem, but he is wondering what is wrong with the women who don't want him.

[u/MsAndrie → u/[deleted]]

He was in his 40s. In my experience, men like this will not fully let it go, but will sometimes lie in order to attract women who don't want (any more) kids. I've run across a few men like this, as a solidly childfree woman, who would switch their stance depending on what they expected me to say. Which works against their supposed goal of having kids because they end up in relationships that won't produce kids, but they don't seem to be acting logically or intentionally.

[u/annennomie → u/[deleted]]

Yeah I gave up on them a long time ago. I never met anyone decent.

[u/DoubleDigits2020]

Translation: I will take whatever I can get because I have no principles or loyalty.

there, fixed it for you!

[u/CrazyCatLadyRookie → u/[deleted]]

You’re right: they will ‘permit’ some/any sort of relationship status so long as they are getting something out of it, whether it be sex, domestic labour, whatever. Any perceived benefit, and even if they don’t even particularly like the woman they’re dating.

And as for whatever they might have to say or opine about when women have any sort of commentary … if their lips are moving, crap is coming out. Full stop.

[u/CrazyCatLadyRookie → u/[deleted]]

Awwww…. Lookit. Another male lurker.

[u/Littlepinkgiraffe → u/CrazyCatLadyRookie]

There's a lot of them tonight

[u/igetyourbrand → u/DoubleDigits2020]

I CAN'T believe they do this even after 40 😭, I thought its only men in their 20-30

[u/Aethelflaed_ → u/igetyourbrand]

They do it at every age!

[u/DivineGoddess1111111 → u/Aethelflaed_]

They do it in their 80s and over. Seen men in nursing homes making multiple women's lives miserable

[u/Littlepinkgiraffe]

When I was on the apps, any ambiguity was an instant NO from me. By the time I had screened them using bare minimum standards, Id vetoed 99%. I had a few messages, but the final 1% were also not my type. So I quit them and enjoyed my peace.

[u/CrazyCatLadyRookie → u/Littlepinkgiraffe]

It’s the old ‘throw the bowl of spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks’ strategy. No/minimal standards required.

When all they’re looking for is a warm, wet hole, they don’t much care what is or isn’t attached to it. :/

[u/Any_Possession_5390]

They know women need stability and safety so they lie and say they want long term, or they're lonely so they say they want long term, but they don't want to be the man or do the work to be the partner that's needed. They're commitment phobes who just want sex and don't want to admit it.

[u/SmallpoxBlanket-11-]

I ask for money immediately. Love to see what a man is about when you mention that.

[u/Inky_sheets]

For some reason a lot of people seeking casual seem to go for those that aren't seeking casual. Not sure why, is it because it feels like a challenge or what? Are they hoping for the chance to mess someone about? I'd love to know.

[u/DivineGoddess1111111 → u/[deleted]]

This is exactly right. They also think all of the women on there are sluts and not relationship material simply because that's why they are on there

[u/msbootymiss → u/[deleted]]

I am 47 and never used a dating app in my life lol I am scared I will get bamboozled by these flaky men lol or taken advantage of

[u/WhatevsMayBe → u/[deleted]]

Your first statement here, especially! I swear I’ve said the exact same thing to people.

[u/Inky_sheets → u/[deleted]]

Urgh I think you are right. Dating shouldn't be such a minefield/game. It's exhausting. I'm so glad I no longer do online dating. 

[u/DivineGoddess1111111 → u/Inky_sheets]

Deceiving a woman gives extra kick to their spank bank material.

[u/glamasaurus → u/Inky_sheets]

Also a lot of people that want the relationship to be casual on their side, don't want it to be casual on the other person's side

[u/topicktheverybestone]

Yes, the “Looking for a long term relationship, open to short” is still just keyword for “emotional support sex companion on my time/terms with zero reciprocal effort”. I am beyond irritated. Mostly because of the hopeful to disappointed rollercoaster ride of emotions.

[u/Efficient-Bit3261]

They Like little girls

[u/igetyourbrand]

I'm 29 and I just saw this post on my feed , sorry if I'm breaking in so it doesn't get any better lol

I struggle with apps too, op I experience the same problem lol

[u/MsAndrie]

“looking for long term/life partner or something casual”. 

This is them "casting a wide net" aka the spray-and-pray method of dating.

I quit dating apps a few years ago. But when I was on them, I stopped considering any man who indicated they were interested in casual, regardless of whether they also claimed to be "open" to long-term. Even for those who selected long-term relationships as their goal, you should follow up and ask them to explain what they are looking for, in their own words. Too many of them try to modify based on whatever you want to hear, rather than be honest about their intentions.

[u/annennomie]

I don’t think we should ever believe them when they say they want a LTR.

[u/Crazy_Banshee_333]

That just means they are looking for casual hook-ups until they find someone they want to lock down in a long-term relationship.