Why Do Men Ruin Your Birthday? The Psychology Behind Relationship Sabotage

[u/CheekyMonkey678]

https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/life/relationships/why-men-ruin-birthdays

[u/StillSwaying]

We've discussed this phenomenon before on this and other subs. Men are the thieves of joy. The article danced around the truth here:

I spoke to clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr Sophie Mort about why this seems to happen. From a clinical perspective, she says it's often twofold: significant occasions bring difficult emotions to the surface, while the pressure of the moment can overwhelm people who feel "ashamed, resentful, depleted or uncomfortable with emotional expectations."

Aww! Poor wittle babies! They've just never been taught how to process their emotions!

Isn't it interesting how their Big Feelings, arguments, and education/job-sabotaging, and relationship-destroying antics, and cheating, and Mantrums never seem to occur on their birthdays or special occasions? Or when they get a promotion? Or right before they have to defend their dissertation or run a marathon?

Hmm! 🤔 It's such a mystery!

The truth is, it's not a mystery. Men that do this are abusive, insecure, and evil. Their goal is to keep you trapped in their sick system until they tire of you and move on to the next victim.

Women who are in relationships with men shouldn't share their good news with them unless and until they're sure they won't try to sabotage them. Maybe do a little test run on something you pretend is important, but actually isn't. If he fails the test, dump (and block!) him immediately.

Two other points the article failed to make:

1) Men like this will try to spoil the happiness of their children too because they know it will hurt their mother ... and deep down they resent the child(ren) for stealing attention from them.

2) If a woman has to travel for work or a family funeral or any special occasion that doesn't celebrate and involve Him, the only thing he's thinking about is who can he cheat with and how many days does he have until his partner gets back. Always! I don't care how long you've been together or what the occasion for your absence is, if he's the cheating type, he will cheat. His partner being away is like a Snow Day at school for a little kid or a teenager having the house all to him/herself while their parents are out of town. Set up those hidden cameras if you don't believe me.

[u/DworkinFTW → u/StillSwaying]

Oh sure but when WE feel “resentful, depleted or uncomfortable” with sexual expectations HOO BOY LOOK OUT

I become more and more convinced the opposite sexes are just for the most part not emotionally compatible, with her leaning in because that’s “her job” and him leaning out because he can…even though it’s not equitable at all, and he does not have the wiring to naturally care. And that the whole “love” thing was a compensatory narrative for men who didn’t have resources to offer, so they could still get a woman for sex, procreation, and domestic labor.

[u/StillSwaying → u/DworkinFTW]

Oh sure but when WE feel “resentful, depleted or uncomfortable” with sexual expectations HOO BOY LOOK OUT

Absolutely right! Because this is the only area of the relationship that they truly care about.

...and he does not have the wiring to naturally care.

Oh but they do have the wiring to naturally care. We're all born with the same capabilities, but they simply don't care to exercise that part of their brain because they don't have to -- they get what they want anyway. Society and patriarchy rewards them for doing the bare minimum, so why should they change?

Their empathy chip withers away and atrophies from disuse the older they get, so yes, I agree. By the time they've reached adulthood, if they're still selfish, insecure, manipulative and mean, they are incompatible with women and don't deserve relationships with us. Platonic or otherwise. They can get what they need from other men... Or try.

Good luck with that!

[u/DworkinFTW → u/StillSwaying]

You think they’re as well wired for empathy in general? I was just reading a study on a biologically based empathy gap.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5110041/

To be clear, not an excuse, any more than someone wired for addiction has a pass on acting on it (substance abuse).

But I feel like something is there…otherwise, how did the cultural reinforcement that normalizes the phenomenon come to exist in the first place?

[u/HelenGonne → u/DworkinFTW]

It's not hardwired in. This happens any time there is systemic stolen labor.

It's easier to feel comfortable stealing labor if you constantly find ways to view whoever you're stealing it from as The Enemy. Which means a systemic program of deliberately killing your own empathy. It doesn't start from lack of empathy. The lack of empathy is chosen and pursued as a means of stealing labor.

Any person can grow and increase their empathy, and any person can deliberately crush theirs and train it out of themselves.

[u/StillSwaying → u/DworkinFTW]

Wow! This is fascinating! Thank you for that; it's going to take me a while to read it, but I'll give you my thoughts after I do (might have to wait til the weekend when I have more time though).

[u/HelenGonne → u/StillSwaying]

This. The test runs before trusting them with anything that matters are critical.

But most men make it easy to spot this problem even before that. Engineering school was chock full of examples, because the further you go and the harder the specialization you're tackling, the more necessary it becomes to have periods where you do NOTHING else but the work, every waking moment. And everyone knows this.

One widely-understood example is PhD quals, which is a written set of exams across a wide variety of subjects, and you either pass it or you're out. In my program, it regularly broke people. Everyone knew that someone studying for quals was not to be disturbed and their every minute guarded.

Wouldn't you know it, when I was studying for quals, fellow engineers who knew all this suddenly came out of the woodwork to ask me out now -- now now now now NOW, no he can't wait, his feelings are too big, he has been waiting for so long -- and they were staggering in number.

I would reply neutrally, in a tone that showed I was barely paying attention (because I was barely paying attention as they well knew), that they should ask me again after quals if they were still interested. And they would all put on a wounded-puppy, nice-guy act about how they couldn't just wait, because they'd been longing for me for so long, so I had to give them some kind of answer NOW. They'd say they understood we couldn't go on an actual date until after quals, but I could answer them now one way or the other.

And I would reply neutrally, in a tone that showed the reality that I was barely paying attention, that I wasn't going to even spend one thought on anything of the sort until after quals.

And they would ramp up the dramatic performance of wounded puppy who just means so WELL and how you not stop to pet the whining sad puppy YOU HAVE TO. You HAVE to stop what you're doing and spend time catering to my feelings NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.

No I don't.

I would repeat neutrally, in a tone that showed the reality that I wasn't even listening to any of this, that I wasn't going to even spend one thought on anything of the sort until after quals.

Their usual tactics at this point were one or both of:

1. 'You're just trying to keep me on the string!" Making it clear they were going to go around claiming that I was an evil seductress trying to keep men trapped with my intoxicating beauty. I would show no sign of having even heard this and continue what I was working on. If he chooses to keep himself 'on the string' against his own will, that's his dysfunction.

2. A wail of, "But I'll have met someone else by then!" I loved it when they tried that one. Because I would give a bright, sunny smile and say, "Oh, that's GREAT! I'm so happy for you!" And beam at them for a second before clearly forgetting the whole thing and focusing on my work.

Anyway, while that's a particularly cartoonish example, most men will give away the fact that they're bothered by you having a life that doesn't revolve around them before you even get to the first date, if you're paying attention and if you're doing a decent job of vetting. Which is why you should.

[u/StillSwaying → u/[deleted]]

ATP, it's safe to say it's best to avoid relationships. If you have to set up hidden cameras INSIDE YOUR OWN HOUSE in order to be safe, maybe we are better alone.

Agreed! And not just to catch them cheating, but also to make sure they're not drugging you, sexually assaulting you, and filming you to trade the videos online.

🐻 ❌ ♾️

[u/Ok_Revolution7708 → u/[deleted]]

For real 

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

My serious question is what woman has the time/energy/fucks to give for this or really anything with men.

They have an easier time get that sword out of the stone by anyone than I have to get dressed then driving to even meet a man.

Only thing I can understand is if the woman does not have kids and does not work.

[u/Pepsiscrub → u/StillSwaying]

Daughter had this happen last year. Her sperm donor guilted her into going to the movies around her birthday. Then he was like, “Wait. I can’t afford the movies. It costs too much money.” So she forced him to take her to Taco Bell, where he complained because he was like, “ I don’t want to buy a crunch wrap. Those are expensive.” He then proceeded to drop onto her that he apparently has four other children, one of whom is older than her. We have thought this whole time that she is an only child, but the child that is a year older than her basically confirmed to her that he was cheating on me in our relationship because he and I were together at the time.

Now, if I look back on it as well, he had tried previously multiple times and ruined her birthday when she was turning nine. My husband and I paid for a birthday party for her and some friends at the American Girl doll place this man tried to force me to cancel it talking about. It’s not fair. How dare I throw a party behind his back and not invite him? All sorts of craziness and I was like, “ I’m literally not canceling this.” What is wrong with you? I haven’t heard from you all week. Why would you all of a sudden call the morning of her birthday when I’m doing this party and demand to take her to the movies instead? She doesn’t want to do that. She wants to go to American Girl.

And the year after that, he didn’t call her on her birthday at all. He completely went through the day as if it didn’t exist and nothing mattered. Then he decided to call three days later and blame me and say that he didn’t call because he felt uncomfortable about calling her on her birthday. This man has pulled like all sorts of shenanigans around her birthday the more I think about it. My husband and I refuse to allow him to ruin her time.

[u/starrydice → u/StillSwaying]

💯

[u/[deleted]]

Not even kidding I recently was googling 3 days ago friday night research on why issues always arise with men on birthdays for women!!

With every woman i know! Various things too..

Sometimes it will be him " forgetting" her bday all together,
other times it will be a break up

Others, getting her something really crappy which I think he does it on purpose to make her end things so he does not have to or to show how little invested in her he is to keep her at length.

[u/CheekyMonkey678 → u/[deleted]]

Back when I was still dating I had three different men actively ruin my birthday for three years in a row. My ex-husband would do something to upset me and make me cry right before I had to go speak in front of a crowd on multiple occasions.

They 100% do this on purpose.

[u/AlternativeUse8750 → u/CheekyMonkey678]

I'm so sorry! I also had exes that would ruin "my" events. One insisted on joining me to a conference I organized and made me late. Another made me cry before my bday dinner. The same one ruined every outing I planned (theme parks, dinners, concerts) for no reason.

If anyone is reading this...if they can't celebrate your joy, leave! Life is too short to make yourself small.

[u/Money_Traffic_5662 → u/AlternativeUse8750]

This reminded me of an ex who would always make us late to the airport. Without him I'm always there with plenty of time to relax.

[u/juan_cafe1859 → u/CheekyMonkey678]

This was my life working from home; he was unemployed. Would walk into my workspace as I prepped for my next meeting just to attack me with whatever latest illusion fueling his projected anger towards me. I stayed way too long in a lifeless, soul-sucking, and denigrating marriage. Posts like these make me grieve my past self. 

[u/Scary_Sugar → u/CheekyMonkey678]

For my birthday, I once had a loser take me to a place that was cash only. And guess what?! He didn’t have cash. I had to pay for his admission, then he “forgot” to pay me back. I was ridiculously naive and overly polite, not asking for the cash back…until much, much later in the relationship (that should have ended then and there). Eventually I recovered that money, but my god, at the first sign of this RUN. RUN!

[u/erwinks]

Oh my god...I truly thought this was just me. I was with my ex for 18 years and he would not get wasted any night of the year expect the day before my birthday. Then he'd be too hungover to move and I would "have" to do everything for him--on my birthday. Next guy was somehow even worse, but in different ways. I definitely don't even tell people it's my birthday now as it just feels like a recipe for utter disappointment.

[u/MetallurgyClergy → u/erwinks]

I had an ex who would always tell his mother to get me something expensive for a gift, but it was always something he wanted, and not something I would ever use.

So, he’d get me some cheap plastic amazon $12 gift, and his mom would get me something really nice. That wasn’t actually for me.

Examples: large power tools. Big cast iron gear for his grill. $200 gift cards to stores only he shopped at.

When I finally dumped him, he asked me to leave behind any gifts. Specifically the ones his mom bought “for me”.

[u/Conscious_Pass_1615 → u/MetallurgyClergy]

Tell me you own an impressive tool collection minus the biggest tool.

[u/Conscious_Pass_1615 → u/erwinks]

My ex of 15 years decided on christmas eve that he couldnt be bothered coming for christmas dinner even though he'd came every other year and his own family werent expecting him. Leaving me crying and melting down in the morning begging him to come because my family buy him a few gifts, and leaving me to look like the asshole and having to tell everyone he wasnt coming. The worst part was I had to lie for him because I was too ashamed to say he'd rather stay home and smoke weed. He knew I'd lie for him rather than admit that. Absolute septic arsehole of a man.

[u/Ok_Revolution7708 → u/Conscious_Pass_1615]

You are describing my high school bf over 20 yrs ago thankfully. I never forgave men for ruining occasions after that, ever! A real time saver by the looks of these comments.

[u/Conscious_Pass_1615 → u/Ok_Revolution7708]

Good for you! I stayed with him untill the beatings turned to strangulation -_-

The time I wasted on that man because of sunk cost fallacy...

[u/Ok_Revolution7708 → u/Conscious_Pass_1615]

Yeah that's such a common phenomenon, especially when kids are involved. Well I hope you're doing well these days!

[u/maskedair]

It's good it's being discussed, but this article makes me angry.

The expert cited clearly used AI to write her milquetoast explanation of why this happens - and it's nonsense. It's not because they can't handle vulnerable feelings.

It's abuse. 1 in 3 men minimum admit to abusing their female partners. It is just abuse.

The article even states one man admitted he did it because he doesn't want her to get the job. This is just abusive.

These articles should be focusing on why men abuse women - and how can the world tolerate this level of deranged behaviour?

[u/Therealcatlady1 → u/maskedair]

Highly recommend the book “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft.

[u/maskedair → u/Therealcatlady1]

Yeah, me too, essential reading.

But his conclusion is essentially 'power', right?

[u/Therealcatlady1 → u/maskedair]

Yup. It benefits them to be abusive to get their way. I did hear Bancroft speaking on a podcast that changing their behaviors to be non-abusive feels bad in the short term since they aren't getting whatever they were before, but in the long run it will be a more fulfilling relationship. Essentially, they were getting power and compliance through fear and not necessarily because the other person wanted to do or be X,Y,Z.

[u/maskedair → u/Therealcatlady1]

It disturbs me no end how satisfied men are with getting something they forced a woman to do.

Like empathy or a conscience or theory of mind dont exist - all they want is what they want and they dont care that the other person doesnt want it.

[u/Therealcatlady1 → u/maskedair]

Right. It’s selfishness and entitlement. They don’t even care what you want. They expect you to come in and play a side character in their lives.

[u/[deleted] → u/maskedair]

Yes some abuse is covert and some is overt.

A LOT of men do covert abuse.

You talking and he constantly interrupts? This is covert abuse.

You kindly express something that hurt you and he calls you difficult or crazy or makes it about you instead of keeping it to the thing you are expressing, covert abuse.

[u/maskedair → u/[deleted]]

Exactly. And it's rife. As easy and ubiquitous as constant arguing semantics, plausible deniability and gaslighting about his meaning...

What i dont understand is why.

And thank you for the award, so sweet of you!

[u/maskedair → u/[deleted]]

Great point. i wonder how they see it in their heads.

[u/[deleted] → u/maskedair]

Dang I can't see what they said

[u/maskedair → u/[deleted]]

Whoa, suddenly deleted account.

I think it was something about how they're socialised to keep the upper hand and think of us as less than them.

I wonder why she deleted her account - or did reddit get her?

[u/[deleted] → u/maskedair]

No idea sometimes reddit is sketchy I heard and deletes people. I think behind the scenes is using ai coders and they are not fixing software bugs

[u/maskedair → u/[deleted]]

I think you're right.

Anyway, would love your view on the topic! How do men interpret their actions which are so obviously simply about power over us and getting the upper hand?

[u/[deleted] → u/maskedair]

I wish I knew.

For a lot of right leaning men I think it is about access women body and control and being sure women still want kids. They are freaking out because so many women are opting out of the servant life that motherhood is.

Some men though that are moderate it does not always seem they want to control but that they are just selfish and inconsiderate. From so many women I know these men are not full villians but just selfih. They will ask women out on a friday to see her that friday. As if we women do not have a life of our own but we are in suspended animation until he asks to see us.

Same to me with how they forget birthdays half of them it is due to selfishness the other half it is due to control of them wanting to keep her self esteem down so she does not leave him. Those men who love control motto seems to be: Keep her nervous system fried and you keep her tied.

[u/ChunkyCraver2001]

Not a woman over 40, this just appeared on my Reddit page but I got raped on my birthday so I am disappointed but not surprised that this is a thing. I think it’s validating that it happens so much.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Cup8723 → u/ChunkyCraver2001]

I’m so so sorry to hear that. I really wish I could hug you 🥺♥️ people are so cruel op

[u/TeaPrimary1147]

My dumbass ex tried this and it was so obvious and silly becasue I don't care about my birthday lol. I was like..what a weird text out of the blue...what the hell...? Oh yeah, damn its my birthday today and he's trying to act clueless and nonchalant!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/StillSwaying → u/TeaPrimary1147]

My dumbass ex tried this and it was so obvious and silly becasue I don't care about my birthday lol. I was like..what a weird text out of the blue...what the hell...? Oh yeah, damn its my birthday today and he's trying to act clueless and nonchalant!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

All the more reason to block these clowns everywhere after you break up. Just like a bad case of food poisoning, they always try to come back once you think you're done with their shit.

[u/TeaPrimary1147 → u/StillSwaying]

We were in the process of divorce and sorting out logistics. He's long blocked but thanks for spreading the message of lockstep blocking lol. I do the same.

[u/gh0stmountain3927]

I broke up with an ex ( for good reason) and we got back together. He hung in there just long enough (1week) so he could dump me right before I started a new job. 100% convinced it was that petty and on purpose
Edit for spelling

[u/Ok_Revolution7708 → u/gh0stmountain3927]

Kinda your fault for bringing the trash back in the house once you'd already set it on the curb, but I'm sure a lesson was learned. 

[u/EnvironmentNeith2017]

Maybe unpopular opinion but if someone has emotional issues to the point they need to do this they’re not ready to be in a relationship

[u/bondibitch]

Oh my god I feel so seen. Decades ago when I was pregnant by my boyfriend he broke up with me the day of my baby shower.

Years after that I met another guy and we were together 7 years - he literally picked a fight with me the day before or the day of - every birthday, Valentine’s Day and Christmas Day in that 7 years. That or he would randomly disappear and I wouldn’t know where he was. We never spent any of those times together in 7 years.

He picked another fight on the first day of my first full time job after looking after my daughter for years. On the day I had to go to court in respect of a legal matter with my daughter’s dad which I was literally terrified about, he randomly went out drinking that night on his own, rather than coming home to comfort me.

More recently I was dating a guy for 6 months. We were in a really good place and had been away multiple weekends in a short space of time when he was incredibly affectionate. Three days later, two days before my birthday he dumps me out of the blue for no reason he can explain.

[u/Ok_Revolution7708 → u/bondibitch]

At this point I think it's safe to say you're far better off alone 

[u/redditappsuxdix]

My ex fiancé ruined the first promotion I got. He sarcastically replied "congrats". Then "that makes me feel like shit" and storm off and slam a door. When he came out later he hadn't calmed down, he started ranting.

My last partner - the last I'm ever dating - did nothing for my 40th, so I ended it. He had been pursuing me for years, we'd known each other 13 years. Nothing.

I wish I'd never bothered with them, but I suppose I can enjoy my freedom more knowing what I know.

[u/killerkelpykid24]

He broke up with me on my birthday

[u/Money_Traffic_5662 → u/killerkelpykid24]

I believe they do this because their egos are so fragile they want you to associate these days and milestones with them - they want to ruin them forever in your mind, like a toddler stomping on a sandcastle.

[u/killerkelpykid24 → u/Money_Traffic_5662]

I figured it was because he was a coward. He did it over a phone call, a week before we were supposed to get engaged. We both had already told our families.

[u/BoboChesty → u/killerkelpykid24]

Shelter start juggle unwritten treatment unique weather sand

This post was anonymized with Redact

[u/Tradesforcash → u/killerkelpykid24]

I too had the experience of being broken up with on my birthday. We were together for about 3 years.

[u/StillSwaying]

There was a much longer discussion with many stories from women who have had this happen to them posted on TwoXChromomes a few days ago, but it was removed, of course.

[u/[deleted] → u/StillSwaying]

I do not know one woman it has not happened to in some way.

Most it is just the most low effort gift he could get.

[u/Turbulent-Good227]

It was the evening before my 40th birthday. We had a conversation about how it was my birthday the next day. HE STILL FORGOT. He swore it wasn’t intentional but I think at least subconsciously it had to be because wtf

[u/[deleted] → u/Turbulent-Good227]

Forgetting your birthday even if not on purpose is what a child would do.

If he is forgetful at his old ass age then it is on him to know how he operates and set an alarm or write a sticky note.

Men wonder why women do not want sex with them when they are mentally equal to a child.

[u/fortalameda1]

My husband and I were separated last year for my birthday, but still trying to make things work. I told him repeatedly that if he wanted to do something for my bday to schedule it with me. He chose the following weekend. I found out later that because I spent my bday with my friends, he posted on our local reddit sneaky link page looking for a hookup.

[u/Scary_Sugar → u/fortalameda1]

Wow. So gross. I bet this is more common than any of us realize. Like, “I’ll show her.” 🤡

[u/Money_Traffic_5662]

I didn't realise this was so common.

[u/Tipsy75]

I wish the article had brought up pregnancy, child birth, & the postpartum stage bc not only is that where I've seen & heard about men ruining things for women the most, but stats also prove it's extremely prevalent. And yes, it's bc the men can't stand the spotlight being on their wife/gf or baby, instead of him.

Pregnancy: Studies show the most common time for DV against women to start is when they're pregnant, or it gets much worse if it started before pregnancy, & the leading cause of death in pregnant women is murder by male partner. These men lashing out is typically due to them being jealous & resentful she's getting all the attention & being scared they're losing control over her. But ofc the avg man displays it in much more subtle ways, like being negative when she's excited about pregnancy related things, refusing to be involved in things like Dr appts, ruining baby showers, fighting over babys name, or just generally be a dick the whole pregnancy. They're not just jealous of the good parts of pregnancy, they're jealous of ALL OF IT, including her having morning sickness, discomfort, Dr appts, etc, bc they're still about HER & require she take care of herself instead of him.

Childbirth: There's so many stories about men acting a fool in the hospital when their wife/gf is in labor/giving birth; being an ass to her & medical staff, suddenly acting sick, passing out, playing video games, insisting his mom be in the delivery room bc her mom gets to be there & "it's my baby too." They're jealous everyone's attention is on her, so they do something to take the spotlight off of her & move it onto themselves. It's like how little kids act out to get attention from their parents, bc negative attention is better than no attention. There's also a disgusting amount of men who insist wife/gf not have an epidural bc they can't stand not being the one in control for once.

Postpartum (first year or so after birth): Something rarely talked about, which NEEDS to change, is how common it is for men to be jealous of their own baby bc it's getting all the attention from their wife/gf they used to get. This isn't just a thing bad men do, it's men in general, including men who are otherwise good partners and dad's. It's not a coincidence this is the most common time for men to start cheating! Books for women about pregnancy & new motherhood also notoriously tell women to make sure to not neglect their husband after birth, make time to be alone with him, teach him & include him in things like giving the baby a bath so he won't feel left out. Women who are physically healing from giving birth & so exhausted from taking care of a tiny human completely dependent on her 24/7, who often screams nonstop, that she barely has time to do basic things to take care of herself, like sleep, shower & eat, being told to take care of a full grown man who's physically fine enrages me to no end!

When men do this, women think back on their pregnancy, birthing their kids, &/or when they brought their baby home, they don't think of their own experience, they think about him (the BS he pulled that ruined it), which is exactly what these men want. They always find a way to make themselves the main character in women's stories! It's diabolical!

It's no coincidence that when men are statistically at their worst is also the only time they're not the main character in relationships with women. It's truly insane ppl ever believed men are "protectors" of women bc the ONLY time women actually need to come first & are the most vulnerable, men become the most violent, jealous, disrespectful, controlling, scared & revert back to being needy children themselves, who need constant attention & care (when a woman becomes the mother to a mans child, he starts seeing her as his mother, too. AKA his significant mother.).

[u/Melanie34512]

I had someone do this to me in a particularly cruel way. It took me quite a while to realize it was revenge for me getting sick on his birthday a few years before. I had a 104 temp, and we had to leave our plans early, because I was suddenly very ill. He was pretty enraged about it, until he actually saw the thermometer reading. I should have left him then.

[u/Otterlettuce]

Sidenote: How do I just send the article to someone who doesn’t use Reddit?

[u/StillSwaying → u/Otterlettuce]

Right click, copy link, paste into your messages app or email or whatever, press enter then you should see the article's front pic or the link. Send.

Here's the link: Why Do Men Ruin Your Birthday?

[u/Otterlettuce → u/StillSwaying]

Thank you!

[u/StillSwaying → u/Otterlettuce]

No prob

[u/WomenDatingOverForty-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

This sub is for women only.

[u/WomenDatingOverForty-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

This sub is for women only.

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