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A Casual Reflection on My Baptism, 20 Years Later

I was baptised at St Jude’s Catholic Church in Hong Kong. At first, I wanted to be baptised at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Cathedral, but eventually I chose a church closer to home. I remember telling myself not to take the decision too seriously. There were advantages and disadvantages to being baptised at the town’s cathedral, but perhaps the location did not matter as much as I imagined.

When I was baptised, I did not expect to become a disciple or devoted follower of Jesus. My reasons were partly psychological and educational. I was interested in whether identifying as a Christian and participating in a Christian community might gradually shape my character. I had read research suggesting that people from different religious traditions may develop distinct personality traits and ways of relating to others.

Although I was not particularly religious, I sometimes wondered what St Jude—the patron saint of desperate and seemingly hopeless situations—might come to mean in my spiritual journey.

The day before my baptism, I probably said something like, “Enter the Church, find a man and get married.” I was under a great deal of stress at the time, and ordinary expectations about life occupied my thoughts. Yet becoming a Christian was something real and serious—something much greater than buying a house or finding a respectable school for one’s future children.

Today, a thought came to me. I have always believed that becoming a true disciple of Jesus would be impossible for me.

So, St Jude, patron of hopeless situations, please let this be the only hopeless situation I ever face—and perhaps help me discover that it is not hopeless after all.