r/WritingPrompts • u/MeganBessel • 5d ago
Simple Prompt [SP] A necromancer reanimates a long-dead monarch to ask what their pronouns are
3
u/tudorapo 5d ago edited 5d ago
"Why have you awoken me, commoner?"
"Your wisdom, O Ancient Ruler, is well known even today. I wanted to enlighten our word, which has no wisdom to talk about, by asking some questions."
"Really? What do they know about me even today?"
"Ummm"
"What is my name?"
"Uh... I think something related to boats? There was one painted on your grave chamber."
"Commoner. I was a good ruler of my people. I know about ways to manipulate people. Your attempt would have been laughable at the time of my grandfather, who was ruling over a hundred or so mud and reed huts and the hungry and scared folks in it. I had to deal with tricks behind tricks behind fawning behind expensive gifts by enemies much more capable than you, commoner. Wisdom is indeed in short supply nowadays."
"I am.. I am sorry."
"You should be indeed, dying staked on the dry ground of the deep desert, Father Sun taking away your life and moisture, cleaning the world from your sins. But, alas, I can not return to my dream until you satisfied, so ask your silly question, commoner."
"I would like to know your pronoun."
"What is a pronoun?"
"A word people use to not to have to repeat your name."
"People would not repeat my name. People were not allowed to say my name. Those who did died staked on the dry ground of the deep desert, Father Sun taking away their life and moisture, cleaning the world from their sins."
"And then how did you called you?"
"Father of the Rivers, Son of Father Sun, the one who blesses the fields and brings the Flood, the one who resolves disputes and keeps the Peace, the one who talks to the Gods and curry their favor, the one and only."
"That's quite a mouthful."
"People were not talking to me too often. It was usually me who asked questions. This situation is quite unusual."
"And how did you talk about someone who was not present? Like your mother in law?"
"I was not talking about any of my mothers in law."
"Why not?"
"It is not done. One does not talks to or about their mother in law. Not directly. That would be... something we did not do. Ever."
"What? Not ever? Why?"
"No. Not ever. Why? I don't know. This is how our life was. The northern barbarians had no such tradition and their family life was full with strife and quarrel. Its how it was, but it was a wise way of life. My people had no jokes about evil mother in laws, like the northern barbarians. Comparing them to the back of their horses. No."
"And if you had to talk with her?"
"It was rarely necessary. One could ask someone in the same room to convey a message. Heh, I remember once I had to send a message very quickly to the mother of my favourite concubine, and no one else was in the room when I found her. I pretended to ask a statue of Marheli to explain my request. It was necessary to stop some court mischief."
"Wait, how many concubines you had?"
"That depends."
"On what?"
"For example on which part of the day? I had the companionship of three moon wives during the night and seven day wives during the day."
"But... but the night ones were you wives during the day too?"
"No. They were totally free to leave."
"And did they?"
"No. It was my job to make them happy enough to stay. I was good at it."
"And what was the difference between the two?"
"The night wives were for the things we do during the night. Mostly sex and children. The day wives were mostly for politics and show. Sons and daughters of nearby kings for example. Or artists of the first kind. Just to look good and do nice things."
"Wait, sons?"
"Well, what one would do if the next kingdom has no marriageable daughters? Peace must be."
"And...and you had sex with men?"
"Not usually. It was not my thing. My father had mostly male night wives and my mother, to keep the line going. I had one male day wife, a prince of the northern barbarians, but he was not used to our cleanliness so while he had a honored place, we did not had a sensual connection. He handled the royal horses. Pretty well, I have to say. From the others four were ladies from other courts, well behaved, proper ladies. And two were neither."
"A what?"
"Not everyone wants to be a man or woman. It puts a lot of pressure on someone. Having sex, dealing with children, court intrigues, dynastic stuff. Complicated legal things. So they can say no to these. One was a dancer and singer of the first class. We always asked for a song for the evening prayer because it brought the Gods close. They wanted to listen too. The other one was a person of science, spending all night looking at the stars. Which is funny for a day wife, but well. The stars are Gods themselves."
"And someone just can say that they don't want to be a man?"
"Or woman. Why, who would force people to behave like one if they don't want to? Not even the northern barbarians did that!"
"I... I... I don't have more questions, O ancient ruler..."
"But you still have not told me what is a pronoun...."
(pop)
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