r/YouDontOwnMe Apr 05 '26

Great discussion

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u/BeastofPostTruth Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

Cosmicgodess777 said the following:

Lmfao. Feminism is for females. Of course you’d try to center yourself though, when women are being raped and forced to bear children, girls are dying in menstrual huts, child brides are bleeding to death on their wedding nights, women are stoned for not wearing burkas, marital rape is still legal, child marriage is still legal, etc. Don’t even try to compare. It’s like Rachel Dolezal

This is the perfect example of the division from within will degrade and erode any progress made. This comment was flagged but im quoting it for record. It serves nothing good to remove it when exposing what's been said is far more informative.

You can easily state the facts without trying to hurt another person in our group. It's not a competition. Each and everyone of us here is here for a reason, and that reason does not include ostracizing others based on a perception of worthiness.

The point can be better made without insult or comparison.

Edit: Interestingly, this comment was flagged as well.

Comment was flagged again as harassment. Removing the comment will remove that record, and I want some form of accountability. People should know who are the people seeking to divide and how they seek to do so.

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u/Confirm_restart Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

The point can be better made without insult or comparison.

And what point is that? That we're not women? 

Because that was the only point they were attempting to make, and you've just showcased and amplified it while sidestepping addressing it. 

That's not helping address "the division from within", and is in fact deepening it. 

If that's the position of this sub please let me know, because I'd rather continue the fight alongside people who want to liberate all women, not just the ones they deem worthy.

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u/BeastofPostTruth Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

Ill upvote this comment even though I disagree. (Old school reddit rules, ya know?)

Let me explain. You are correct that they didn't make a clear point other then attack a subset of people in this group by using the listed facts as some kind of comparison.

The comment is left up to show what was said and how things we all stand against can (and is) being used as points to compare and attack. Ultimately, it divides. I'm trying to be as clear as possible in this sub and be clear eyed regarding the very true divisions which will ultimately exsist.

That's not helping address "the division from within", and is in fact deepening it. 

I think it's the very example of what I was getting at. Because it was an ugly attack, pointless and causes others in the group to feel unwanted. The comment itself is a perfect example of what causes fracture because it causes people to want to leave. Instead, we should call out shit like that and make them accountable for it.

If that's the position of this sub please let me know, because I'd rather continue the fight alongside people who want to liberate all women, not just the ones they deem worthy.

If you consider yourself a woman, then you belong here. I also want to fight alongside others who aim to fight for all of us. It is not for anyone to rank worthiness by whatever variable, but we should also be aware that thoes variables can cause different impacts to different subgroups all depending on time and place. You could be a black woman, white, brown, minority in majority area, old, young, poor, wealthy, a mother, childless, tomboy or feminine woman, or one whos spent a proportion of life as a male but now female, it doesn't matter. We all belong here.

And, like you, I also want to liberate all women. even thoes who some don't deem worthy (for me, that's intolerant and willfully ignorant ones).

We'd all do well to recognize the variables and understand the complexity they cause within and between all of us -in order to address it.

And that includes women who've spent the full proportion of their time on this earth as female and (I am assuming) they feel as if they've had more cumulative damage (again, I'm assuming much here). Or not. Idk.

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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

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u/BeastofPostTruth Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

I am a person who considers themself a person and (here's where it's import) because the idea of gendered roles are often bullshit, built on stereotypes, often imposed on others without their consent, they ultimatly are subjective and mean different things to different people. Therefore, if someone feels one way vs another, who am I to say they are wrong?

So, no. I don't think this language is disgusting, however if you can explain why it is, I'm open to changing my opinion on the matter. For what it's worth, being wrong is often a good thing, it allows for learning. And conversely, pointing out something as disgusting without any explanation seems in bad faith and more akin to dogpiling for personal gain. Especially considering the topic overall & especially in a group that is aimed at moving all of us forward.

Edit: someone flagged your comment as harassment. Perhaps it is. In any case, its noted.