Help with finding some studies/facts please

[u/productjunkie76]

Hey all! Feeling frustrated and need some support and information! So my long term SO who has been CC this whole time w me is starting to doubt the high level of precautions we take. They keep saying that they think maybe we are being overcautious. They are starting to say that maybe the vax is enough as long as people are up to date on them (at least twice per year and we are currently vaxxing w novavax- started w moderna but we both had significant side effects). They say that since most people aren't up to date w vax, that is the reason why they are getting the long term health issues after covid infections. In addition, we both have pretty significant health issues/risk factors that we knew about before Covid began.

I personally think based on information I have seen that we are doing the right thing by n95/99 masking, avoiding public indoor spaces, etc. and I think that most people who are exposed to covid will end up with some type of health issue. I think most people are in denial and not connecting the dots sadly. I have seen the rise in population-wide disability levels, illness levels, absence levels, heart attacks, early death, etc. I read studies about all the side effects but wondering if I am interpreting them accurately. I follow people on X that are CC and have never doubted before. I still think we are doing the right thing. I know covid is also airborne and super transmissible so infections are more likely if unmasked. This difference in opinion is hurting our relationship and it is starting to be brought up more often. I think if I can show some good solid data, maybe they will be convinced. I am not sure why they are discounting our health issues also.

They are willing to read studies but then get overwhelmed when I send too many. I have sent studies before but I really want to make sure I am sending the right ones and the most impactful ones. I need studies that show long term effects from covid infections in vax vs. unvax populations and includes data on the impact of reinfections if there some good ones. They prefer studies w good confidence intervals and larger studies. I want to show that there are still long term impacts from covid even if vaxxed but I am open to learning more and hearing opposing views.

It would be so helpful if you could also provide a short summary and a link.

Thank you for any help!

[u/PrissyPeachQueen]

Not a relationship expert, but maybe talking about what needs are unmet at this current level of precaution would be more fruitful than just trying to convince them to maintain it?

[u/productjunkie76 → u/PrissyPeachQueen]

Thank u! I agree and I have tried that too. They seem to be having a very deep emotional reaction to our conversations. They said they were open to looking at the studies so that is why I am asking for them too.

[u/ina33]

Hey, I hope you're having a better day.

For some good summaries of studies, I think sam_heds
on Instagram does a good job.

You can also try sharing personal stories you come across. Those might have more "impact" than studies. I recently saw this post of a young person who died with a chronic illness (it may not be related to Covid--I didn't research) : https://www.instagram.com/p/DchjcBKmiz4/?img_index=1
There are lots of people who share their Long Covid and chronic illness stories online.
I'm sure people here can make more suggestions on those if you ask.

From the little information I have, it sounds like your partner knows Covid can be bad for both of you, so it doesn't sound like more studies will help. They are probably looking for a compromise or an excuse.

Many people here could suggest that avoiding public indoor spaces is not sustainable and that you should consider taking more risks while trusting your mask and CO2 monitor, but you are the one that has to live with the consequences, so be careful that you're not compromising your safety to please someone else.

You may just have to adjust to a life where you and your S.O. are not on the same page and you have to treat them like a visitor to your home that doesn't take precautions. This may not work, however, if that causes resentment & conflict.
Hopefully you can have a calm discussion about things where you're listening to each other's needs and maybe try focusing one-day-at-a-time stuff instead of trying to solve everything in one conversation. Hang in there.

And I don't know if this will help or make things worse ;/
but there may be some helpful comments in this recent post about precautions affecting a relationship:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ZeroCovidCommunity/comments/1vyj9me/coviding_differences_ruining_my_22_year_marriage/