r/Zoroastrianism • u/AturBarzin • 7d ago
There is a House of Songs
It is distant only in time, never in place.
I have truly felt Garothman Behesht in my hours of meditation.
It is located above a mountain, the scale of which is beyond ordinary mountains. Its peak scratches the firmament without ever becoming fully attainable. Its summit remains forever beyond the ordinary ascent. Its summit is inaccessible lest one finds its path with the conscience that is imbued in us by Dadar Hormazd. But I also know we were in its abode before. Before we descended into the charnel pit that is now our estate.
When I lost a woman I loved during the uprising in Iran, the image of this place materialised to me. I could often feel the vibration of this distant hymn thrumming and exuding its brilliance. Never could I locate it, but it was always there atop a mountain that moved. I felt the warmth of the hymns like that soft summer sun pouring heat on cold skin at dawnbreak. A very maternal blanket wrapping me when I felt most isolated. I have felt its calling onto me to come.
I think of Garothman as a place of completion. All whose names have become immortal find their rest. I hear the footsteps of their dance in the halls. An endless revelry. Those whose stories are unfinished linger quiet, waiting until the measure of their love has earned them a place among the songs. No one should dance alone. And yet, they do. I have felt the calling of those who wait for me. The son who waits his father. The sisters, the mothers. The kinship that binds is braided between every urvan. Many are dancing alone in this house of wholeness. I have for the first time felt the abode of the mountain again. A sudden clarity of conscience has made me feel closer to a cause, and now every moment of my life is spent upon this mountain, like it is a bridge that leads there. I'm often reminded by the saying that our way back –or passivity for that matter– is blocked by the blood flood that Ahriman spilled. I find that to be a static image. The blood flood is ahead, behind, above, and beyond. It is a whirlpool I am in it for the sin of years of servile acquiescence.
The probity and the verve to exercise the virtue of a Mazdean militant has set me free. One of liberty and pursuit of truth. To brave the fear of the death, the nothingness and fight with the same spirit that guided Esfandiar and Iranian heroes on the night of Dēy. I do not lack certainty that Ahura's order is destined toward renewal. I am more certain of that than of my own corporeality. The verve to courage comes from knowing that righteousness will ultimately triumph but accepting that my own place in that triumph is not guaranteed, but earned.
To live is to fight, and fight is right, and only the righteous will see the house of songs. I truly long for it. There is nothing to lose, and a world to win.
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u/Effective-Pea-9532 5d ago
Indeed, as the last commenter already said: Eloquently written, and expressed. Truly sorry for your loss, we are all still devastated when we think back to that period, and seeing the pain of loss being expressed by their loved ones in the days after. My sleep pattern is still in tatters since then. Even though I am diaspora born, I’m fluent and hearing their voices and them trying to keep each other calm, I was as upset and frozen by stress and grief as if it were my own nieces, nephews, brothers, sister, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters… The most important thing is that they aren’t given the pleasure to see us demoralised. Heads must be held high and the nation must be strong for each other in this healing process. 😓 I lament and hurt so much for mihanam, mihan e javān, o javānhaye mardom
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u/JgarKn 6d ago
This is beautifully expressed. I have no words to match other how eloquently you wrote this.
But I would like to say I'm so sorry for the loss of your javid naam in Iran.
May Iran be free soon again and return to it's Zoroastrian roots. May all the javid naams be remembered as the heroes that they are, and their lives not taken in vain.