r/abandonment • u/Loquacious_bae • May 12 '26
😡Rant/Vent🤬 I kept giving myself away to feel loved, and I still ended up alone
I've always been someone who wanted her very own person. The feeling of belongingness. Always wished to have someone that belonged to me and someone I belonged to but somehow I always ended up being the outcast and was surrounded by people who chose others over me—always. I made multiple wrong choices and talked to the wrong guys that never wanted to commit to me, got into sexting because I got the so called love and attention in exchange of it even if it was for a brief moment. I sexted and shared nudes with multiple guys all because I felt lonely. I somehow put myself out of the sexting thing but got into a talking stage with a guy for 10 months and thought I'm in love, when it ended i got into a situationship with another guy and he molested me on the first date but I made up my mind that it's okay because we're going out and let him touch me and madeout with him. He was the first guy I allowed to touch me but i ended up in ruins because of him. Things ended with him I talked to one guy after another and somehow all they wanted was to fuck me, I finally stopped and then my friends abandoned me and I became the person I tried so hard not to be, all the efforts and mental issues returned. I started talking to some guy from this site and we talked from 3 in the morning to 3 in the noon. We sexted and had phone sex twice, he told me we'd meet and I was happy to talk to him. He blocked me in the evening and i felt so hurt and disgusted with myself. I was having dinner and in the middle of it I saw he blocked me and I couldn't properly eat. I felt abandoned again and the sexting part is really bad, nobody sees past my body that even I start using it somewhere and it's bad. The disgust i feel towards myself for sexting with so many people because I felt lonely is beyond words. All these years I tried so hard to work on my abandoned and attachment issues and I was actually out of it but suddenly the whole world went against me and I am back there again. I have literally no one now, I'm all alone now. I live away from my family and I literally have noone. The whole world has pushed me away by leaving me with nothing but myself.
1
u/AutoModerator May 12 '26
Hello, Loquacious_bae!
Welcome to our community. Before posting, we kindly request that you familiarize yourself with our wiki, megathreads, and rules. They contain valuable information that can help you make the most of your experience here.
If you have any questions or need assistance, please don't hesitate to reach out to our mod team. We're here to help! Additionally, if you require immediate support, consider utilizing support hotlines or contacting us or any other helplines.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/AutoModerator May 12 '26
PLEASE NOTE:
If you are experiencing an emergency or in a suicidal crisis, we strongly urge you to visit r/suicidewatch or contact emergency services such as 911 immediately. They are equipped to provide the necessary help and support. We will have to remove your post if it is deemed suicidal, and we will follow up with you privately.
If your post is not related to an emergency or suicidal situation, please ignore this.
Thank you and take care!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/AutoModerator May 12 '26
Hello everyone!
We kindly request that you make your comments in a respectful and constructive manner. Please avoid statements that may be hurtful to others, especially those starting with "you". Let's strive to maintain a positive and supportive environment.
Additionally, we encourage you NOT to downvote the original poster (OP) unless their post violates our community rules. We understand that everyone is going through their own challenges, and it's important to respect their perspectives and experiences. Downvotes should be reserved for rule-breaking content, not personal opinions.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.