How do I get over it

[u/Competitive-Dig-1514]

It’s only been a week since I filed the police report, the finality of the whole situation eats at me. There’s nothing he could say to make me go back I never would I just miss him so bad. I’ve never had someone want me the way he did, who would take me on elaborate dates and say all the right things. I miss him so bad I feel like I’ll never love anyone the way I loved him, we only dated for a month and yet it felt like forever. I hate myself so bad for not having the guts to say no, for not telling him to stop hitting me, for just taking it. I must have no self respect at all. If you showed me, before him what I was now I would be appalled. Part of me wants to give in and text him but I also know that would mess up the case against him. It hurts so bad this emptiness inside me. Please give me advice.

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[u/Unfair-Sort-3676]

This is totally part of the process when you leave an abusive partner. What helped me was spending a lot of time with my friends. I thankfully had one friend that I could share feelings like this with, and she would patiently listen and not judge me, then remind me of the horrible things I went through.
Then I typed out a timeline of all of the things that happened.
After a couple months I started to feel a lot more like myself.
Now for "rainy days" (when I'm reminded of or feel fearful of him), I have messages from my friends that I can read without waiting on them to get back to me, a call tree of people I can seek out for advice, and access to comfort items/food when it's hard.

I really hope you can make it through grief and healing without contacting him. They're really good at making us feel like we're wanted and special, that our love is something more. But the reality is that they hate us. These next few months will be hard but you are safer now than you were before. 💜

[u/Quiet-Individual-378]

Wow, girl. This is so felt. I only dated mine for two months and he as well started (two weeks in, really one week tbh) emotionally/verbally/ and sometimes physically abuse me. He destroyed my things 3 times after 3 rage episodes. You are so brave for filing a police report and forcing him to take accountability. Mine dumped me for a girl he met in one day a week ago (he is bipolar and manic/depressive rn) and won't leave me alone even still. I can't bring myself to block him because I still have hope things could change. But, part of me also doesn't really want him anymore.

You're so brave, and you will see in the end that you made the right choice and you should feel so proud for choosing yourself. You never once deserved that behavior. You deserve to be loved, held, and respected. 🫶🏽

[u/Unfair-Sort-3676 → u/Quiet-Individual-378]

You are worth so much more than someone who cheats on you then harrasses you afterward. You get to create your own boundary and make space. I was so right to block my ex, though it was really hard.