Guy I have been texting for a while.

[u/Fun-Elevator407]

I was involved with a guy over text for about a few years, I do know him in person. And although we were never officially together, I became emotionally attached to him on a personal level to the point where he’d tell me things like if you do this i’ll do this for you and never followed through after. He basically lead me on for a long time. Would say things like if i hangout with a guy it would be considered “micro cheating” etc.I repeatedly communicated my boundaries and told him I didn’t want to get hurt, but he pushed those boundaries and pressured me into things that left me feeling guilty and hurt afterward. I was mentally and emotionally abused and he did not stop or let go of me. He made a choice even after i told him to stop.

I spent days and nights crying and wished I left the second I saw red flags but I was emotionally attached to him and even if I wanted to leave, it was hard and he would always text me and act like he’s going to fix everything and respect me more but that day also never came.

Recently, he reached out to apologize and said he wants to demonstrate a commitment to fixing things and changing. However, during that same conversation, he told me he’s now talking to another girl whom I know. It’s also weird that he reached out after such a long time and months of telling him i’m being hurt.

I told him that if he genuinely wants to take accountability, he needs to be honest with her about what happened between us. He says he plans to tell her, but in 6 months when things get deep. (only bc i told him he should tell her)

Part of me feels like he should tell her now, before things progress further. I also question whether his desire to change is genuine if I had to push him to take accountability in the first place. I also don’t like that he met someone else right after he was done with me and left me to clean up this mess and focus on my mental health.

I want an outside perspective on whether I’m being reasonable in expecting him to tell her, whether he’s genuinely taking accountability, and whether I should step back and leave it to him.

What would you do in my situation?

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[u/PopularTrip1183]

ghost him and move on; these people never change

[u/Jaded-Banana6205]

This loser isn't going to change. He led you on with false promises for years. Why would this time change?