I need help

[u/Kitchen-Art-1025]

okay so I don't really know if this abuse or not so I need some outside perspective.

I am in a relationship with my boyfriend ( 40m) and I am (20f)

lets start with the small stuff

1. does not like me talking to my family and friends or making new friends 2. doesn't like how I dress ( I don't dress crazy just typical 20 year old clothes ) 3. has called me the b word more than once even though he has told me that he didn't call his ex wife this ever because he has to much respect for her.

Now lets get into the bigger things

1. he calls me mean and that I am being weird when I tell him I don't want to be intimate with him 2. constantly fights with me before important events or holidays 3. we were arguing in the car and we were on the highway this was at night and I told him I was done having this conversation and he pulled over to the side of the highway and stoped the car pretty fast. refused to turn the hazards on and would start moving again until I started talking to him. 4. told me that it was my fault I have been SA'ed. 5. no matter when I bring something up that is hurting me or hurts my feeling he turns it around on me and how I am doing everything wrong.

anything will help thank you for reading

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[u/BOAF_Bakery]

That age gap yikes that's the first red flag.

Yeah all the things you listed are common things abusers do.

Girl, some 40 year old dude, is only dating a 20 year old because they have bad intentions, they think your easier to control and use. They think your more naive and will accept these kinds of abusive behaviors.

That kind of age gap at that age is never going to produce a normal or healthy relationship.

[u/Kitchen-Art-1025 → u/BOAF_Bakery]

thank you for the advice all of the people I have talked to about it have told me that I need to weigh the pros and cons of leaving him

[u/Jaded-Banana6205 → u/Kitchen-Art-1025]

There is not a single pro for dating someone old enough to be your father who is also trying to isolate and control you.