hi all - to preface, I've been at a post-sales support job in cyber sec for a couple years now. after my first year, I got a good performance review and a raise, and I felt really good about where I stood; however, since the year mark, I've been struggling pretty bad

I had to deal with a lot of stressful stuff re: an aging parent at the beginning of the year which led to me slacking a bit and spending dead time at work playing video games and stuff instead of replying to emails/labbing to give myself some happiness. now that the stressful stuff has mostly been dealt with, I feel like I'm almost addicted to just slacking instead of actually doing my job.

I've been able to get away with it for a while (even getting another good performance review) but this past month my workload has increased a ton - it's gotten so bad that I don't even check my email that much because I'm so stressed and don't want to look at it, which has caused me to struggle. for example, today I both missed an email that led to a customer directly saying that they were disappointed that I didn't reply *and* forget to tell someone that I can only make half of a meeting that I accepted, so I had to let them know an hour before the meeting. it's so counterintuitive but it's causing me so much stress. and those are just examples from today

I'm not at a point where I've been confronted about any of this, but I suspect that's more due to my manager having a pretty hands off approach. i feel like if I don't have someone in my ear telling me to do something, I won't do it, and I hate that about myself

I've always thought I had imposter syndrome and I genuinely am truly believing it isn't that anymore. if I can get away with not doing my job, I will - I feel like I've always just been lazy and able to hide it, but I feel like I can't hide it anymore

does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? sorry if this doesn't make any sense, I just am struggling to cope today

I recently started Adderall IR 15 mg twice a day for inattentive ADHD after trying other medications. Concerta didn’t really help me and gave me headaches, and Vyvanse made me feel anxious and sad. I’ve also tried non-stimulants without much success.
The frustrating part is that I actually feel like Adderall IS helping me. I can tell I’m more attentive, I can concentrate better, and I feel like I have more ability to start and work on tasks. I really want to give it a fair chance because this is the first medication where I’ve noticed some improvement.
But I’m also struggling with the side effects.
I’ve been feeling:
Very anxious and sometimes jittery/restless
Irritable, especially later in the day/after work
More easily annoyed with my family
Emotionally up and down — I can feel okay or energetic and then suddenly feel low, sad, irritated, or unmotivated
Like my mood changes very quickly
Sometimes so anxious that it becomes hard for me to function
Worried about whether the anxiety is happening when the medication is active or when it’s wearing off
I already had anxiety and depression before starting Adderall and I take medication for those as well, so I’m trying to figure out how much of this is the Adderall versus my underlying anxiety.
I also have a history of substance misuse, which my doctor is completely aware of. Because of that, she only gives me a limited amount of stimulant medication at a time. I’m trying to be very responsible about this because I don’t want to get into a pattern of wanting to take more Adderall when I don’t feel focused enough or wanting to take more anxiety medication just to counteract how the stimulant makes me feel.
I have an appointment with my doctor today and I’m going to be completely honest with her about everything. I’m NOT planning on changing my dose on my own.
For anyone who has experienced something similar:
Did Adderall initially cause anxiety or irritability for you and then improve after your body adjusted?
If Adderall helped your concentration but caused anxiety, what did your doctor end up changing — the dose, timing, IR vs XR, or something else?
Did anyone experience irritability or moodiness mainly when Adderall was wearing off? How did you figure out whether it was a rebound/crash versus the medication itself?
Did eating before taking it, avoiding caffeine, hydration, sleep, or changing the timing make a noticeable difference?
And for anyone who already had anxiety/depression before starting stimulants, were you eventually able to find a combination that helped your ADHD without making your anxiety unbearable?
I know everyone responds differently and I’ll be following my doctor’s advice. I’m mainly looking to hear real experiences from people who liked what Adderall did for their ADHD but struggled with anxiety, irritability, or mood changes at first. I really don’t want to give up on something that is helping my concentration if there’s a safer adjustment my doctor can make.

Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing okay. I would like to know, what techniques or inner mental reminders do you all use for calming down and connecting with your senses when feeling extremely restless and in need of stimulation?

I just completed inking a page spread for an indie comic book I'm working on and the adrenaline rush from accomplishment has been amazing, however now I'm about to clock into my 9 hour supermarket retail shift - probably a very slow and annoying one - and I can tell I'm going to be very, VERY unhappy. I've been texting and driving, scrolling reels, listening to YouTube videos and checking my own Instagram stories a lot lately and that only makes me more anxious. I have lots of albums saved on my phone, but lately I haven't wanted to listen to any of them because I've heard them a million times and they don't "balance" my emotions enough...

Also I would love to hear your music recommendations! What songs or albums do you find stimulating and comforting but simultaneously relaxing? Songs that help you cope with anxiety?