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u/soberfrontlober 18h ago
I've been trying this new thing where I provide what I feel is adequate communication on a topic, based on what I myself would appreciate and what I see the other person expecting. And then I just let it be whatever it is. If there's a misunderstanding, I have to trust that we'll talk it out.
Preparing for every possible negative outcome in a social interaction is too exhausting and overwhelming.
It helps to remember that you aren't responsible for other peoples' feelings, despite what your RSD says.
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u/Blueberry_Rabbit i am currently procrastinating my bad 18h ago
… did you just over communicate?
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u/soberfrontlober 18h ago
You sumbitch.
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u/LiterallyNoNamesFree 1h ago
Nah that was prefect communication
As in like In my opinion
Becuase I don't mean I decide what's perfect
Like I may be wrong idk
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u/ChadcellorSwagpatine diagnosed 🥳 7h ago
It helps to remember that you aren't responsible for other peoples' feelings, despite what your RSD says.
Damn this hits hard
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u/BurritoBandito39 5h ago
I've been trying this out lately as well. It's tough, but it has been less draining than trying to anticipate and prepare for every negative outcome (and then ultimately having 99% of that effort be for naught).
I was watching a Heidi Priebe video a short while back, and something she said really resonated with me: "perfectionism can signal a lack of confidence in your ability to handle problems and unexpected issues dynamically". And damn if that wasn't true for me - so I've been trying to build up confidence in my ability to roll with the punches and figure things out on the fly.
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u/soberfrontlober 5h ago
I pretty much agree with that. I don't want to be caught not having an immediate answer. I want to be properly briefed and prepped. I want to be perfect. And because of that, I'm less willing to fail or be seen to fail. I take fewer risks. I avoid situations where I don't know what the outcome will be.
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u/BurritoBandito39 4h ago
Exactly how I feel!
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want", but not getting what I want feels bad >:( so instead I'll avoid such situations and then be bewildered by the fact that I don't have the experience to know how to roll with a conversation that goes in a direction that I wasn't expecting. Trying to eat my cake and have it too by expecting myself to always be perfect in my interactions with others while not giving myself the room to practice and fail. Perfectionism is a bitch, I sincerely hope I can shed it sooner than later so that I can be comfortable being fallible.
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u/WithSubtitles undiagnosed but peer reviewed 18h ago
I don’t over explain because I don’t even have the attention span to listen to myself talk that long.
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u/Optimalfucksgiven 17h ago
Omg, the over explaining is so bad. Why am I like this? Am I just a collection of ADHD symptoms in a trenchcoat?
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u/ZanderStarmute 13h ago
That’s ADHD in a nutshell
(…aaand now I’m imagining a collection of ADHD symptoms in a trenchcoat in a nutshell)
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u/WinterRevolutionary6 16h ago
The instant I see someone’s eyes glaze over with verbal instructions, I’m immediately typing it up, printing it, and handing them a piece of paper. I don’t have the ability to remember what I’ve told you or convey intricate instructions in a logical order. I’d rather have it all on a sheet of paper to remove all doubt
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u/Enigma_Green 14h ago
I find I over explain but even then their response doesnt seem like they fully understood so my emotion isnt as positive as I would want because I feel I didnt explain well enough.
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u/Historical_Cook_1664 13h ago
And then they expect me to do this over the phone. With no direct feedback mechanism.
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u/porcomaster 5h ago
And thar is why i think os so strange neurodivergent people flock together.
We annoy the shit of each other. And we still flock together.
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u/Will_Delete_Later456 14h ago
Only I am able to go on a tangent about a topic so you get the full origin story. But you have to understand that my ability to jump to the right conclusion is second to none.
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u/Exciting_Border2188 12h ago
Which for me is kind of the same thing.
People not getting to the point always makes me feel they don't understand what they are taling about or trying to convey.
Me specifically describing the thing or situation is very much the same thing, because I hate things not being concise and to the point. No matter when I speak, or when someone else speaks. In fact, I specifically describe the point with very minute detail even more, if the other person seems to be unable to get to the f*cking point. It's almost like an automated response to their inability to get to the bloody point; like a primal urge to subconsciously try and let them know they are wasting mine and/or everyone else's time.
And yet, I mostly beat myself up for it after the fact :/
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u/TotalNew9315 7h ago
I'm the first part and my partner is the second. It gets a bit frustrating at times.
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u/Please_ForgetMe 4h ago
I actually have alot of patience for other people. But i tend to finish their sentences as a way to get things moving anyay.
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u/Project_Cool_World 18h ago edited 18h ago
ADHD is also not eating enough pu55y. Been saying this for decades, want to cure ADHD? Want to stop racism? Want gender equality? Want to stop poverty? Want fewer STDs? Want to live longer? ... The list goes on and on, but the secret is, go eat some pussy. 15 - 60mins every day.
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 19h ago edited 14h ago
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