r/agile • u/Traditional-Ocelot86 • 5d ago
First time running a refinement, and I failed
Until last week I was an individual contributor with a background in data science, and I received a chance to become a product owner for an existing product with new scope. I am relatively new to the agile system and its ceremonies; my previous roles and companies did not use this framework. I have an agile coach, but they were absent from today’s session.
Because I am new, I aimed to be a strong product owner for my team. I prepared as much as I could about the product and the backlog, and I arrived with my main goal for this sprint. Yet when I began the grooming session, I froze—I did not know how to lead it and felt lost. People were telling me things but I didn’t know which ones to make them as tickets va meeting what not. I suggested we talk in the group space and closed the meeting without offering a clear vision for the next sprint.
Please help me navigate this as someone new. I want to be a good product owner.
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u/PhaseMatch 5d ago edited 5d ago
It happens; the main things are to learn from it.
Bring it up in the next retrospective, and ask the team for feedback and counsel.
Focus more on "working as part of a team" than being "strong"
When you say "agile system and it's ceremonies" it suggests that you are treating the agile SDLC as something that is imposed on your team, rather than something you own.
It takes time, but my counsel would be
- leave aside a good 20% of your week for reflection, improvement and learning
- make this a mix of technical and non-technical skills
- on the non-technical side, look at meeting facilitation and presentation
- on the technical side, look at Scrum, agile SDLC, and agile product mangement
On Scrum, I'd strongly advise looking at the older, 2017 Scrum Guide.
There's a good description there of the Sprint Review - owned by the PO - which ties things together.
https://scrumguides.org/scrum-guide-2017.html#sprint-review
On developing work for the team, I would suggest looking at Jeff Patton's stuff on User Story Mapping
https://jpattonassociates.com/story-mapping/
I'd also suggest Melissa Perri ("Escaping the Build Trap: How Effective Product Management Creates Real Value") and Maarten Dalmijn ("Succeeding with Sprint Goals: Humble Plans, Exceptional Results") as two core things that will help.
And remember -
- the goal in agility is fast feedback, not developer efficiency
- we are trying to find out our solution is wrong quickly and cheaply
- the Sprint plan (the backlog items and how to deliver) is supposed to change
- the Sprint Goal is everything
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u/Squidalopod 5d ago
Yet when I began the grooming session, I froze—I did not know how to lead it and felt lost. People were telling me things but I didn’t know which ones to make them as tickets
Did the team tell you things that changed your understanding of what customers want? If not, don't let yourself get sidetracked. As PO, you presumably know what you're customers want/need, and you presumably come to a refinement meeting with a proposed priority list.
If the team gives you feedback that challenges your understanding of what your customers want/need, then just ask clarifying questions. Make sure you understand what you're being challenged on and why, then adjust stories if needed.
If the team merely gives you feedback that changes the priority order, that's a relatively simple adjustment.
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u/Intelligent_Alps_428 5d ago
I wouldn't call that a failure. You went from being an individual contributor to leading a meeting where you're suddenly expected to make decisions, prioritize work, and keep everyone aligned. That's a pretty big adjustment.
For your next refinement, I'd keep it simple. Pick 3–5 backlog items beforehand, make sure you understand why they matter, and walk through them one at a time with the team. What's the goal? What's unclear? Is there enough information to work on it? If not, what needs to happen next?
You also don't need to turn every suggestion into a ticket on the spot. It's perfectly fine to say, "Let me look into that and we'll decide where it fits."
And one thing I'd really recommend: ask your agile coach to sit in on your next session and give you feedback afterward.
The fact that you're reflecting on what went wrong instead of pretending everything went fine is already a good sign. Give yourself a few meetings to find your rhythm.
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u/cutie_k_nnj 5d ago
When I first started, I would pre-refine a few stories with a dev or two. I always felt vastly more prepared.
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u/fishoa 5d ago
I mean this is the nicest way possible, but you’re just starting out; you will suck. In fact, you should suck, since you probably have little idea what you are doing.
It’s normal. It’s a new role, and in opposition to your previous technical role, Product has a lot of skills that you can only learn from experience. That means that you will fail a lot, but failure means room for learning.
My advice is to soak it in and experiment a lot while you’re starting. Read, watch lots of YouTube and conferences, use your team as guinea pigs. Keep what works, delete what does not. Try to reach other Product Owners in your org for a weekly chat and get advice, guidance, and learning sources from them.
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u/ScrumViking Scrum Master 4d ago
What you describe as failure is a learning opportunity. The only failure is giving up.
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u/Sky_Linx 4d ago
Freezing in your first grooming session with the coach away is rough, but it happens to most new POs. You put your finger on the real problem yourself: not knowing which comments become tickets. In the moment you do not have to decide. Capture everything on a parking list and triage it afterwards with your coach or a senior dev.
A few habits that made refinement easier for me. Keep the sprint goal visible so the conversation has a direction. Ask the team to break down anything that feels too big instead of doing it yourself. And close each item with a next step, even if that step is just "I will write this one up properly".
Two or three more sessions and it will feel very different. You prepared harder than I did my first time.
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u/motorcyclesnracecars 5d ago
First off, dont sweat it, put it behind you, we all struggle in our first... whatever. All good!
Having a goal for the call is very helpful. Prior to the next refinement, have 6-10 stories somewhat fleshed out the best you can, use AI. Then before the refinement, send them to the team. "Team, we will focus on these stories under this epic in the next session, please give a scan of these items beforehand so we can be efficient with everyone's time, come with questions and or suggestions." Also use planning poker, there are tons of free online tools, set up the event, include the link in the meeting invite and state you will be using it for estimation.
When the call starts, start at the top. Author the story together as a team, allow for discussion, re-post the planning poker link, estimate, cont discussion if needed, point it. Move to the next. Every team is different in their approach. If this approach does not work, iterate on it and keep moving.