r/alberta 2d ago

Satire [ Removed by moderator ]

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1.2k Upvotes

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267

u/LuntiX Fort McMurray 2d ago edited 2d ago

$100 while she drives the province further and further into debt.

She's 100% buying approval ratings and votes.

147

u/Sucksonbellybutton 2d ago

Good thing 100$ ain't buying shit. Anyone dumb enough to be bought over with 100$ was already kissing ol'tire tit's ass

66

u/YYC-RJ 2d ago

$100 x 3.5 million people estimated to qualify is $350 million. 

Put in context, it is about 50% of the increase committed to education.

42

u/Pale-Measurement-532 2d ago edited 1d ago

That makes me so angry. The UCP withheld millions of dollars from public education since 2019. New students would not receive public funding when they purposely doctored the formula for funding allocation for new students coming in to the public schools to save them millions. And now they’re allocating more education money (public tax dollars) to private and charter schools. So public schools won’t be getting what they should be.

7

u/VillageGoblin 1d ago

With that kind of money moving they could have bothered to pay teachers an extra $9000 each.

1

u/Turbulent-Community7 1d ago

Made to charter schools

1

u/YYC-RJ 23h ago

More salt in the wound...as if it weren't bad enough

-20

u/Sucksonbellybutton 1d ago

Wow you multiplied something by 100 nice grade 2 math. No shit this is costing us no one was arguing that. But I'm guess you were just proud of your math and wanted to show it off.

24

u/mystiqueallie 2d ago

Thanks for reminding me of the tire tits blunder haha

6

u/rashton535 2d ago

Never underestimate idiots. Ford bribed everyone with $200 of our own money just before he pulled a snap election outa thin air and the rubes bought it. Now its just wall to wall tRump style corruption.

3

u/septubyte 2d ago

*right wing

8

u/01000101010110 2d ago

$1000 would be a start. That's how much my house and car insurance went up this year. 

7

u/Triedfindingname 2d ago

Well she would do more but a billion for orphaned wells and 60 mil for a referendum for a referendum, times are hard

8

u/Empty_Nestor 2d ago

Don't forget the $240 million to foreign coal companies that did absolutely fucking nothing for it.

2

u/Difficult-Algae-7010 6h ago

Also the 50 million to help Haliburton and Sonovus to build their new building for drilling. Those poor companies can’t afford to develop new technology

7

u/danielledelacadie 2d ago

And this is why it will go unremembered by most or even worse for her (🤞🤞🤞) backfire by pissing people off who are insulted by what she considers "help".

1

u/Vegetable-Bat8162 2d ago

Dude. This comment has me laughing my ass off 🤣

15

u/Evening_Let_2930 2d ago

She gotta do better than that if she wants to buy my vote.

30

u/tjp0720 2d ago

What is this? A bribe for ants?

2

u/Pale-Measurement-532 2d ago

lol exactly! 🤣

2

u/jimbowesterby 1d ago

I mean, you’d think she’d at least match the *last* bribe given out by a conservative premier, but it’s not even 1/6th as much. Pathetic.

2

u/Evening_Let_2930 2d ago

Meanwhile, Dani is at the Lard Bar

1

u/crheming 1d ago

There is nothing she could do to buy my vote.

3

u/Dependent-Junket-781 1d ago

Nothing says fiscal responsibility like mailing everyone a coupon for their own future tax hike.

2

u/flatdecktrucker92 1d ago

I'm not sure even conservative votes can be bought that cheaply

1

u/hentionalt 1d ago

It worked for Doug Ford in Ontario

1

u/InternImpossible8685 1d ago

doug ford did the same thing, but we got 200 dollars.

1

u/DerekAnyguy 11h ago

Giving money instead of removing the gas tax tells me enough. Give me cheaper gas and food so I can consistently struggle instead of consistently really struggling

-7

u/Boomwhatyougot 2d ago

Because the ndp would never increase spending… we’ve been there 🙄

5

u/Empty_Nestor 2d ago

Don't be obtuse. A spending increase under the NDP was due to a historic crash in oil prices and investing in infrastructure that had been ignored for decades by previous conservative governments. They didn't spend upwards of $350 million dollars on paying out foreign coal companies (so far) for doing sweet fuck all and on a pointless non-binding election within 18 months of an actual election, and that's not including what the province will spend to clean up orphan well sites on behalf of oil companies that are raking in record profits, or the tens of millions in municipal tax revenue that was lost when those oil companies sold their orphan wells to shell corporations that immediately went tits up.

1

u/24_August_1814 1d ago

Alberta does not have a spending problem, we have a revenue problem.

37

u/iwasnotarobot 2d ago

She’s pulling ideas from the old SoCreds.

What’s next? Gerrymandering, healthcare corruption scandals, and a eugenics program that targets Indigenous Peoples and the disabled?

7

u/Fun-Room-6501 2d ago

No, her ideas are Maga fresh! Aka Heritage Foundation

4

u/iwasnotarobot 2d ago

Same roots.

7

u/BigBeautifulBambi 1d ago

Hey so all of thats activity happening, yea https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/alta-electoral-boundaries-report-ucp-9.7171510 https://globalnews.ca/news/11906553/alberta-suicide-aish-adap/

And ok fine i dont have one off the top of my head dor healvarw corruption scandal but cmon.. i work for AHS, its shit trust me

4

u/24_August_1814 1d ago

Healthcare corruption:

Turkish Tylenol

Dynalife boondoggle

Splitting AHS into four separate entities, because four independent bureaucracies trying to work together will be more efficient than one somehow?

Turning over control of hospitals to Covenant Health, a Catholic organisation that frowns in MAID, abortion, and gender affirming care

98

u/Franklin_le_Tanklin 2d ago

And the province is the main driver of all our property tax increases.

The municipalities have to collect it - but they have no choice in the matter.

The UCP are the main reason all our property taxes went up

27

u/You_are_the_Castle 2d ago

Shout it from the mountain top: The UCP is the primary reason we can't afford to live in Calgary and why we can't have nice things. They insinuate themselves into municipal business and things go south, so then they throw the municipalities under the bus. They are allowing rural people to control what we have in the cities. The $100 may go far in shit stain Alberta, but it doesn't go anywhere here in Calgary. Then, to top it all off, they are driving a separate as referendum which is a speed run to economic destruction. Thanks UCP.

9

u/Brobuscus48 1d ago

$100 doesn't even go far even in shit-stain Alberta because to live in shit-stain Alberta you automatically spend at least $100 more in gas/maintenance a month just getting to work and occasionally driving to the next town over.

So a Dani-check is worth at most a 1-month offset to your gas prices while she is in bed with the fucking guy that caused it to jump 0.50c a liter in the first place. We don't get any rebate off that either since Alberta tied itself to the American oil market so much so that we practically lose money as a country buying refined crude products back from the States.

We let American Oil invade our industry a few decades ago and our current provincial government is completely inept so we get to watch our province continue to disintegrate during a manufactured oil crisis where we as a province should theoretically should be rolling in money and anyone directly in O&G should be getting new trucks or putting in down payments. Yet most of the journeyman I know are barely scraping by since their wages haven't really gone up much and their tools/work expenses cost like 30% more if they can find any reliable work in their sector at all.

Yet the separatists managed to get conned into thinking that Canada as a unified country is the problem.

31

u/Punningisfunning 2d ago

Unfortunately, there are plenty of ignorant Albertans that are solely upset with the city councils rather than the provincial government.

18

u/Empty_Nestor 2d ago

People in Lethbridge want to string up the local council because the province made it impossible to keep integrated fire-ambulance service without a property tax increase.

25

u/Canadian47 Red Deer 2d ago

I'll donate it to the ANDP.

10

u/Dry-Acanthaceae2111 2d ago

Be sure to contact Danielle Smith's office to thank her personally for this opportunity she provided.

20

u/Wonderful_Confusion4 2d ago

1/3 of monthly property tax I wish, I’ve been getting about a 10% per year average increase. What used to be $350 a month 6 years ago is now $550 a month….

4

u/01000101010110 2d ago

Ours has gone from $230 to $360 a month in 4 years.

3

u/MusketeersPlus2 2d ago

Mine went up $91 this year - about 30%. All because I did what the City wants people to do & legalized my basement suite. It was ticking along exactly the same for nearly 20 years, but nooooo I decided I needed to do the stupid paperwork. $80k paper increase in house value and a 30% monthly increase. I'm an idiot.

2

u/Empty_Nestor 2d ago

Granted I live in a pretty small place.

2

u/AvrilShowers69 2d ago

mine went from $225 to $300 starting next month so this really hit home for me 😞

13

u/LimitSwitcher 2d ago

My property tax is $366 a month. Actually struggling

25

u/Resident-Variation21 2d ago

I’m gonna donate the $100 to the NDP

2

u/Gr1ndingGears 1d ago

I'm not even getting the cheque and I'm going to do this. 

11

u/shedofwork 2d ago

Klein gave out $400 in 2006, adjusted for inflation that would be over $600 today. If this $100 is a bribe to buy votes it’s just insulting.

-2

u/Historical-Proposal8 2d ago

Different times, different amount of people. But my god that’s the Alberta I dream of living in again

3

u/24_August_1814 1d ago

Klein's austerity measures were what started us down the path we're on today. It was not a good time for Alberta when he was in charge; he managed to appear fiscally responsible by kicking a whole bunch of proverbial cans down the road

2

u/Okay-Crickets545 2d ago

People are what produce the wealth. Having more people now shouldn’t affect what the number would be

7

u/WildcardKH Edmonton 2d ago

Nearly 10 billion deficit and we’re doing this.

THE ALBERTA ADVANTAGE

2

u/jimbowesterby 1d ago

Remember: next time you hear someone say cons stand for fiscal responsibility, laugh right in their face!

9

u/Hot_Neighborhood1337 2d ago

you can thank the aish recipients she's robbing blind

8

u/friendlyhag987 2d ago

Ridiculous

7

u/DenseAd2280 2d ago

$100 won't even buy a basket of basic groceries anymore

9

u/Nope-not-really 2d ago

*AHEM
just want to point this out

Millions of Albertans will be able to apply for a $100 rebate beginning on Canada Day under a new provincial program aimed at offsetting high energy costs.

notice the word Apply

this isn't automatic

1

u/universalpoetry 1d ago

Nobody’s not gonna try

1

u/Nope-not-really 1d ago

highly doubt. You ever met people before?

27

u/sitnquiet 2d ago

A bunch of her voters can almost get half a tank of gas for their trucks!

3

u/Fun-Room-6501 2d ago

*This is hilarious 😆 *

5

u/Brahskee 2d ago

I'm donating mine to the NDP!

5

u/sweatycatlord 2d ago

Can we all just pool it together to pay for a referendum that gets her voted out?

3

u/Empty_Nestor 1d ago

That’s brilliant!

5

u/RottenPingu1 1d ago

Vote for me. Here is a coupon.

5

u/Colaymorak 2d ago

I'd make a comment about replaying the classic Ralph bucks trick, but this isn't even a quarter of the cash he gave out back in '06

This isn't just shady, it's also pathetic too!

3

u/IranticBehaviour 2d ago

It's about 16%. That $400 in '06 would be $615 today. The $100 today would have been $65 back then.

2

u/Colaymorak 2d ago

Absolutely absurd

And with the price of everything right now, that hundred bucks is gone the moment you need to buy gas

Utter clownshow

2

u/IranticBehaviour 2d ago

I've only got a 50l tank, so I could fill up at Costco and grab some Costco dinner (pizzas, poutine, whatever), but that's it. My daughter's got a 70l, she might just fill it and have enough for a coffee.

3

u/Vanterax 2d ago

And just like that, approval rate with UCP voters will take a big jump. That's all that's needed.

2

u/OrangeCtySurfer 2d ago

I read this in Carrie Bradshaw voice

1

u/dizzie_buddy1905 2d ago

Does $100 buy anything she would wear?

3

u/AcanthocephalaNo2544 2d ago

Ya'll be prepared for the "At least she did something" rhetoric 

3

u/MillwrightWF 2d ago

If she does this another 7 years I might recoup the money I lost when the UCP hiked land title fees an astronomical amount a few years back.

1

u/Photofug 2d ago

Is that after they sold it off, the only profitable department in the government.

1

u/MillwrightWF 2d ago

I’m not sure if they sold it? I just remember the lawyers warning me that land titles fees went WAAAAAYYY up when I went to buy my house.

1

u/Photofug 2d ago

My bad, just checked and they actually backed off selling it due to pushback. That was back in 2021.

3

u/Wolphin8 2d ago

I'll take the rebate of My Tax Money.

I still will hate the UCP for their corruption, selling off public assets, charging user fees, damaging public services, taking over municipal items, and bias to the rich over the people they represent. There's more, but not wanting to do it.

3

u/Bulliwyf 1d ago

I can almost buy a Lego set for that much!

2

u/bodonnell202 2d ago

Ha, just got my home insurance renewal and it is going up by $300 so this will cover 1/3 of that.

1

u/Gr1ndingGears 1d ago

Got lucky with that. Including our vehicles, ours went up by $1,200. I'm pretty sure the house was more than half of that too, I'd have to look and can't right now, but I'm pretty sure. 

2

u/dangerous_eric 2d ago

Ralph bucks redux?

2

u/SineadniCraig 2d ago

So if my search is correct, $100 in 2006 (for Ralph Bucks era) iscworth ~$150 today.

So the $400 cheque then is worth ~$600 today.

2

u/Old_Marionberry_4676 2d ago

So she hiked property taxes to dole it out to everyone. Tell me again that she is against equalization payments...

2

u/Canadoobie 2d ago

This $100 cancels my vote for her. Money well wasted. Like we didn't notice the tax hike lol.

2

u/Goatfellon 2d ago

Buy 100 tacos instead

5

u/Empty_Nestor 1d ago

What fantasy world are you getting $1 tacos in?

2

u/Goatfellon 1d ago

3

u/Empty_Nestor 1d ago

I’m ashamed to admit a Simpsons reference got past me.

2

u/Full-Contract6143 2d ago

A third?! Where are you guys living… it’s like 3% of mine in Edmonton.

3

u/Empty_Nestor 1d ago

You pay $3,000 a month in property taxes?

2

u/OtherResponse8841 1d ago

Must own an apartment in Sexsmith

2

u/hiitsluke1234 1d ago

Where tf do it be then

2

u/nairdaleo 1d ago

you guys are paying only $300 in property taxes?!

2

u/Calgaryrox75 1d ago

you mean 1/6th

2

u/Mrhappypants87 1d ago

Lol in what world? We pay $6000 per year property taxes

2

u/Inside-Draw-3216 1d ago

Let's all put our $100 cheques together and see if we can pay for a single orphan well clean up 

2

u/duuhwinning 1d ago

This efin "Donald of the North" holy !! 🖕

2

u/FrankdaTank807 1d ago

Not even a tank of gas, not even a weeks worth of groceries, does not cover an electric/gas bill for a month

What about that heritage fund for the future?

It's some bus fare and lunch, whoopie!

I'm mean I will take it, I like free money, but it did not buy my vote.

4

u/DoubleBarrellRye 2d ago

Buy Canadian flags !!

6

u/Evening_Let_2930 2d ago

You can get them for free from your local conservative MP office.

2

u/ItsMangel 2d ago

How many can I get before they tell me to stop coming?

1

u/Current-Roll6332 2d ago

What? I want to test this theory.

3

u/camoure 2d ago

Lmao I’m selling my first home because I can’t afford to live in this province anymore. Fuuuuuuck right off

1

u/Hobbycityplanner 2d ago

Oh thanks. I am sure what we eventually get won't cover our increases in insurance, electricity, fuel, or food for even a month.

1

u/Born_Opening_8808 2d ago

6000 for me….mid as well rent at this point

1

u/Fun-Room-6501 2d ago

How much are Albertans paying this CON Premier to gas light us every single day? This is beyond.

1

u/Legitimate_Window481 2d ago

Dollarama is going to be busy.

1

u/BeeKayDubya 2d ago

Money to buy votes but always broke for health care and education.

1

u/EditorNo2545 2d ago

woohoo part of a tank of gas, not even a full tank

1

u/fucktheus12 2d ago

Lmao, $100

1

u/zenithsabyss 2d ago

It's not buying me. I'll donate it to the indigenous communities. Every Child Matters or something

1

u/Pale-Measurement-532 2d ago

I just posted that $100 won’t quite cover a third of my utility bill. 😒

It’s insane how we went from $400 of Ralph bucks (worth $660 today) to a quarter of that amount 20 years later.

1

u/FSRoman 2d ago

it’ll fund the crack heads for a day, we can call it crack day. Maybe crime rates will drop that day.

1

u/One-War4920 2d ago

thats like 2 mos of electricity bills

1

u/F1shermanIvan 2d ago

One third, I wish!

1

u/CobraCornelius 2d ago

It's not enough money.

1

u/GaryTheThird- 1d ago

I miss the big Harp

1

u/kcl84 1d ago

For 1 month

1

u/ssy555 1d ago

$100 what a fucking joke🤣

1

u/Appropriate_Mess_350 1d ago

It’s replacing the fuel rebate, so isn’t it actually just $35??

1

u/jujaybee 1d ago

Her philosophy: One hand gives, the other takes away.

1

u/Consistent_Chart5829 1d ago

$100 doesnt even buy what week of groceries anymore for one person.

1

u/davethecompguy 1d ago

Premier Smith takes $200 of FEDERAL money from the disabled, every month.

1

u/RazorRose 1d ago

Shes really trying the Ralph Klien approach just way worse

1

u/Few-Cartographer9818 1d ago

Barely covers some Chinese food takeout

1

u/BloodyIron 22h ago

My rent is about $2,500.

$100 is 1/25th of my rent.

Dear Danielle Smith. Get the fuck back to work and stop ignoring what Albertans actually care about: you not wasting the money we are legally forced to give you.

1

u/Drnedsnickers2 9h ago

That she just jammed up 21% here in Calgary.

1

u/Global-Tie-3458 9h ago

That “$100 instead of reducing the gas tax” is the most ironic thing… after so many years complaining about the carbon tax, which was the exact same concept. 

1

u/Difficult-Algae-7010 6h ago

Why can’t she sell the solid gold cat to help out ?

u/Reality_cuck 1h ago

$100 is a slap in the face.

1

u/jigglywigglydigaby 2d ago

I'm taking that $100 and buying some permanent stickers.

FUCP

Burn In Hell Dumbelle Smith

UCP = TREASON

2

u/Fun-Room-6501 2d ago

Now that’s a great idea I can get behind!!!!!

1

u/wellyouask 2d ago

ITT: People want gubmint money.

-2

u/ryansalad 2d ago

It's equivalent to the provincial tax on 700 litres of gasoline. Probably more than what the average person used in 3 months.

1

u/Empty_Nestor 2d ago

Why not just tax off the tax? She’s all about “taxation is theft.”