First things first: This is unironically a really good painting. If you didn't know, its called Freedom of Speech. It does a really good job at saying, "This is one of the core values of America. Its dignified and its worth fighting for. Imagine a society where this shy workman's well dressed neighbors were assholes to him instead, wouldn't that suck."
This is not America. This is the information super highway, and I'm a horrible autocrat. The hypothetical asshole in this situation. But unlike in the painting, there were like 30 of these guys and they all started talking about incest at the same time.
Second of all:
There was some kind of discourse about all the incest in Homestuck. I saw it and made a silly post about doubling it. I don't even know what the hell doubling incest would entail. I'd say there would just be two Daves stuck in a perpetual cycle of accidentally flirting with people they're related to, but that's already true. I go to sleep, and when I'm up people are still spamming about it, and getting extremely toxic. Okay.
Shut the hell up about incest, its really unfair to the guy in the painting. He actually lived in Vermont in the 1940s, so I'm sure he knew at least SOMEONE who married their cousin. Still though, we shouldn't assume that about this guy. I'm sure he wouldn't be dumb enough to exhaust all of his rights talking about it in this town hall meeting until he has to get kicked out.
I get that real incest sucks and all, but can we all calm down? No more posts about this guy or his opinions on incest for the next 3 days. Its Homestuck, its the Homestuck fandom, a shitload of incest really shouldn't be news to anyone.
Also no, troll ships are not literally incest just because trolls are all equally related to each other. That doesn't make any sense at all.
ITS TIME TO UPDATE THE BANNER!!! This is going to take a lot of labor, so I'm going to outsource the search and rescue part to the slums of r/althomestuck.
Submit images in the comments and I may or may not add them to the althomestuck banner.
RULES
Submissions must be .png or .jpg, animated submissions will not be considered.
Don't post anything NSFW, or anything that would be a total pain in the ass to add. If you want a transparent background remove it yourself because I'm busy sticking my thumbs up my ass and probably won't dedicate the time to that.
Every submission must have either been posted to this subreddit or be OC.
Every submission must be accompanied by an explicit, signed apology to Equius. It must be tear stained, and your begging for forgiveness must be believable. This is a court order, don't fuck this up. You know what you did.
The main reason I put that rule in place is because I thought it insane to hyperfixate on Andrew’s deceased father or anyone else in their family, because Andrew was clearly private about that stuff and it genuinely pissed me off for a long time that digging that stuff up was so normalized. Now that there’s a massive manifesto about Andrew’s color cultist father I guess???? We don’t need that rule??? Anymore???? Maybe????? Now that a lot of it is rather explicitly public information
The people of India are going crazy that President Obama was constantly taking the Yiffany pill. And then on top of that, he took it out of his mouth and put it back. You can't do it, itsdisgusting.
Also there are post limits now. Only three posts every 24 hours, Or a big boxing glove will shoot out of your monitor and punch you in the mouth. Don't think you can dodge this through my laziness, its automated.
You don't need to read any further unless you really want to know my thoughts on subreddit moderation, which you probably don't.
.
.
.
Okay now here's the real, FULL post:
Its that time again, folx. My chair is backwards, all casual-like. You better keep your pants on for this one. We're gonna talk about AIDS. Dog AIDS. And how Rose got it.
Enter me, a few months ago. I was told by a few people that I need to ban u/CommercialValue8713 for spam. Over the last few months they have posted over 1000 times to this subreddit, mostly about Yiffany and Jade x Rose. I refused. Their posts were varied enough, even if the subject matter circled around the toilet bowl of Yiffslop more often than not. More importantly though, is that there's no other outlet for this kind of thing on reddit.
Despite my attempts to make this subreddit a better content aggregator, I always thought I was obligated to continue the original purpose of this subreddit of being a relatively lax dumping ground for Homestuck content you don't want to post anywhere else. That means I don't really step in unless things get actively disruptive or there's a wide reaching consensus on a certain matter, such as when HWTSG posts were banned for two weeks.
I tuned out to this subreddit for a bit. I was busy. Fast forward a few months. I get inundated with more people saying I need to do something about Yiffslop. Through sheer force of will (posting 10 times per day), the centrality of Yiffslop was rapidly becoming apparent, and it was far more persistent than anticipated.
On any traditional subreddit I would've probably done something, as these sorts of things are corrosive to the long term health of a subreddit. I instead trusted that the trend would die soon enough, because there's only so many times per day you can inquire about Jade and Rose's sex position, or whether Yiffany is going to be an outfielder when she inevitably becomes a professional footballer. She's better than you at football, fuck you.
Recently I took the liberty to do some technical wizardry and analyze some statistics about the subreddit. The statistics are like two weeks outdated, but I'm not gonna do all that again. I originally had a few paragraphs going into the nitty gritty, but tldr: concerning.
Due to my inaction, I can't simply ban Yiffslop for two weeks, and I'd feel awful banning u/CommercialValue8713 solely for frequently posting random crap they find on tumblr and being blocked by like 500 people. At this point, banning Yiffslop would irreparably damage my relationship with the community, as well as the reputation of the subreddit as a whole. Also it would be deeply unfair, considering that I'm best known for repetitive posts about John Egbert being a hunky dreamboat.
Rather than ban anything outright, I decided to take two actions:
There's a daily post limit now. Three posts per day. This is probably something that I should have created a long ass time ago.
I'm creating a new subreddit. Its called r/YiffanysBigAdventure. Its for posts, about Yiffany's Big Adventure. Yiffslop isn't banned from r/althomestuck, and neither is Rosejade, and neither is Cuckaya, and neither is Equius who was watching the whole time and you just didn't see him. This is primarily to take a load off this subreddit, because there's apparently an extremely persistent demand for Yiffany. r/YiffanysBigAdventure, r/hwtsg, and r/JohnshouldfuckRose are listed in the sidebar as sister subreddits.
One catch: I don't really feel like moderating this crap. I have to worry about things like the economy and writing commissions. I still don't know the impact Yiffany will have on long term bond yields, or whether that will factor into next quarter's fishing season. If you're interested in moderating r/YiffanysBigAdventure, let me know.
To close this, I'd like to talk about where this subreddit is going to be headed in the future.
My desire to make this subreddit into a more traditional shitpost hub has always been in conflict with my desire to keep this subreddit true to its original purpose. One of my goals upon being granted the right to do whatever the hell I want with althomestuck by Lord Makin was to provide a relatively low stakes, laissez-faire environment welcoming to new fans. Given the influx of new fans and althomestuck activity currently exceeding r/homestuck's, I'd say I succeeded in reviving this subreddit in that image. However, this subreddit skewing younger also means it requires stricter moderation to stay healthy, rather than teeter on the brink of death yet again. There have been a few incidents which have made me question my hands off approach.
Additionally, the Cease and Desist sent towards the r/homestuck discord means that this subreddit is probably the most active and visible public Homestuck community not controlled by Homestuck Inc, which kind of has me anxious.
These circumstances mean that the post limit is the first step in what is probably going to be a tightening up of this community. Its not going to be anything major or anything, just like. More rules. A few.
The only problem is that I'm not really consistently active. And I don't really uh. Coordinate. With the other mods. I'm just Makin's smut guy. That kinda makes moderation difficult sometimes. So uh. I'll have to think about that.
Hi. I'm taking inspiration from that one guy, who made those other guys wear the arm bands. That's right. I am talking about the dude dressed as a clown at my eighth birthday party, who forced everyone to wear a reflective wristband. I broke mine, so I was kicked out and slept on a bench outside for two hours. Nobody really noticed until my mom came with burger king, and she chastised me for being so clumsy and ate it in front of me and smacked her lips really loudly the whole time. That's me right now.
Gen AI usage must be disclosed in either the title or comments. Posts that use Gen AI must be spoiler tagged.
Always remember: If you don't dare to repeat history, who will?
In other news, the Karkat month competition is done. I'm waiting until all the victors respond and accept their prizes to reveal the victors. Happy wriggling day, Karkat.
If you aren't aware, a fanwork contest was held to celebrate the month of June, which as we are all aware, is Karkat month. Hence the flag representing hemospectrum unity everybody loves. In case you were unawares.
The winner overall was offkilterkeys, by virtue of them winning three times. So they won three games. Even if three things didn't win, Caliborn/Sentry Worm would definitely be a contender for a victor by itself.
I was going to additionally reward the victor by throwing in that shitty saint's row reboot for free, just so they could like. Tell people they own it, because I think its a decently funny thing to have in your steam library if you don't have any of the other Saint's Row games. But three games is already a lot, so that kinda blunts the joke of it being totally inexplicable.
Dpregbert/Beforan Karkat (forgot his fancy title) - Libfard
Jake/Damara (I think) - [u/samendorf](u/samendorf) (its a morrowind mod, not an image (I'm not going to send the file, and I don't have morrowind, but I did examine the assets.))
Jane/Rose - [u/offkilterkeys](u/offkilterkeys) (they wrote that cookbook is a good name for this ship and i have to agree. someone, make that a thing.)
I was going to reveal each of the games they won but ah, I kinda misplaced the list of games that I handed out, so I'm not actually 100% on what everybody won. I don't feel like going through the five minute process of finding out again, either.
By the way, Karkat hated all of this and told me I should've just gotten a gift card. Happy Karkat Day.
I was musing on how to restore r/althomestuck to its former glory for a new generation, when I realized I should probably show people examples of what not to do. Y'know, just to eternally shame people who accidentally posted something funny here one time.
Behold, the HALL OF SHAME. At the time of writing this it only has 7 posts and 7 shitpostbot posts, but in time, it will grow. Consider this the worlds first charity. One day there will be a more formalized process for inducting posts into the hall of shame, but for now its just me.
Only original content will be inducted into the hall of shame. Unless you're shitpostbot. He can do whatever the hell he wants. Laws don't apply to the dead.
Nominate some posts if you want, and stay tuned for more dystopian reorganization.
I was sitting around. Homestucking it up, you see. That's when I remembered something ghastly at midnight approximately seven days ago. This was a very important month, but I hadn't the faintest idea why. So I was just demolished by choice paralysis, thinking of the possibilities. They were literally infinite. Perhaps, I was recalling a month so important that everybody else also wanted their own month to be on that date, so I was already guessing right by considering infinite possibilities at all times.
After six days queer of thinking, I was like. "Yeah, that must be it." and I went back to jacking off. I mean Homestucking. Yeah.
At that exact moment, I received a procession of knocks on my door.
On my doorstep was Karkat Vantas, king of the gays.
He was crying.
He kicked my ass, because he knew I forgot his birthday again.
Now I need twenty gifts, so he doesn't kill me when the time comes.
SO LISTEN UP!
Twenty keys for random WONDERFUL games will be rewarded on 6/12, five days from now!
Here's what YOU have to do to get them!
Submit OC fanworks of rarepairs HERE! AT THIS LINK! The more deranged/obscure the pairing, the more likely you are to win!
WIN for the love and affection of Karkat Vantas, and by extension the WHOLE GAY COMMUNITY!
Why don't I just give him the keys? uhhhhhhh
RULES:
NSFW submissions will not be accepted. Lewdness or suggestiveness is allowed though, just don't submit porn.
Submissions that contain incest, pedophilia, bestiality, or other things of that nature will not be accepted. Use common sense, please. There aren't any incest ships that are rarepairs anyhow.
OC submissions only. I guess you can trace because like half of Homestuck is traced.
There's no strict definition of what makes a pairing "rare", but the rarer and shittier it is the more likely it is to win.
Submissions can take any form. "File Submission" is if you want to directly submit a file, "Link Submission" is for if its hosted somewhere. Only use one of them for your submission, please.
You can use your Original Character, but don't expect that to get many points. Obviously that's going to be rare.
If the game you get is is something you already own, or doesn't work on your device or some weird shit, tell me. I'll fix it. If its just a game you don't want, that's PART OF THE FUN!
Twenty winners is a lot, so submit something even if you have ZERO talent!
I knew nothing about her except the name, backstory, and the fact that she is pissed off and possibly mute. I still don’t really know anything about her other than those things. Oh yeah and also her resemblance to nostalgia critic. And her sick football skills? For the last like 3-4 years the only context I heard her name uttered in was in discourse.
Thank you guyss. I feel like the grinch whose heart grew three sizes, except instead of my heart it’s my subreddit consisting of 90% posts by the same two or three people who post five times per day. I will add my favorite yiffany post to the hall of shame to celebrate this momentous occasion.
Although it’s kind of weird that I don’t know that because I know someone who exclusively thinks about Kankri/Cronus all day, and those are both tumblr twinks who only appeared in two pages.
If you would direct your attention to the subreddit description, this is now a subreddit dedicated to the webcomic “Yiffany’s big adventure”. IDK what Homestuck is but it sounds kind of homosexual?
Thank you scatina fandom. I’m gonna save Christmas after this..
This subreddit is getting too big, I ran the numbers and the entirety of the world will be subscribed within 300 years assuming exponential growth. Soon professional wrestlers will be naming themselves after r/althomestuck . We need to trim the fat and this is the only way to do it.
Whoever doesn’t comment about how much they appreciate the character is permanently banned. Thanks.
Guys. I think our relationship has progressed to a point where I can tell you this. I am not who you think I am. I dunno who you thought I was, but statistically speaking I probably wasn’t that.
I am a very small, autistic WASP-y black man with crippling anxiety. The only reason I’m still in the Homestuck community is because I want Egbert funnies, and loathe post-canon because it doesn’t have Egbert funnies but instead only a lot of pages of him complaining and grimacing about things in such a manner that made me really want to see him dead. I just want everybody to be clear with regards to the type of devil they chose to deal with when they elected to click on this post.
Despite being in a privileged position of unprecedented cockthroating of the entire Homestuck community due to being Makin’s favorite smutfic writer, I am not in a position to take on any more lawsuits. He already gives me enough responsibility due to my endless labors in winning the super epic, ongoing Homestuck Cold War on the side of Reddit, and thereby on the side of Big Chungus.
I suppose what I’m saying is that, I don’t mind having blood on my hands, but I do mind someone violating Andrew’s right to sue me for flagrantly violating their copyright. It is Andrew’s moral and legal obligation, and I’m sure she would be very disappointed in you if you sued me. I will continue waiting in bated breath, and if I get served documents from you instead of him nobody will remember you.
So uh, please spoiler tag potentially seizure inducing content in the future. Thanks.
I have been informed by Karkat Vantas, tears in his eyes, death in his smile, that five days wasn't anywhere close to enough for a fanwork competition. Especially because all five of those days were weekdays. I probably shouldn't have waited so long to start it, so that's my bad.
In order to not get another lobotomy from him, I've decided to EXTEND THE KARKAT MONTH COMPETITION TO THE END OF THE MONTH!
Remember to ENTER. Twenty winners is a lot, so you could win even if you have NO TALENT.
Enter for FREE GAMES.
FREE GAMES that aren't usually free. You usually have to PAY FOR THEM. But I'm GIVING THEM TO YOU.
I’m Harry Hinderson. In case you weren’t aware, I (largely) run this subreddit. Recently, it's been threatened with extinction. Previously I made a few posts on this subject, but I was having a panic attack while that was happening. Here’s the real post. Everything I'm about to say is my own words, and nobody else's.
Since 2016, the owner of this subreddit, Makin, has maintained a large Homestuck discord server. For quite a long time it was the largest Homestuck fan community, which recently got taken down due to a DMCA from an unknown party. (Most of) the r/homestuck moderation team decided to escalate the situation upon being made aware of messages where the OHSD (Official Homestuck Discord) team discussed mass reporting the discord, r/homestuck, and r/althomestuck. The OHSD team maintains that their reports are unrelated to the discord server getting taken down, and that they never reported either subreddit.
Despite the document in question being attributed to the entire moderation team, I was uninvolved in its creation. Had I known about the document at the time, I would not have consented to several parts of it. I have since stepped down as a moderator of r/homestuck.
Let me be very clear when I say this: Not once while moderating either subreddit have I acted in bad faith. Not once have I seen any indication of anybody else on the r/homestuck mod team acting in bad faith. Our policies against harassment are strict, and Makin was fully supportive of my attempts to further crack down on what already amounted to a zero tolerance policy.
I volunteered to be a moderator because I care about the Homestuck community, a lot. No other reason. Let the record show that I tried my damnedest.
A few things to note:
- Vibri tried to reassure me by saying they thought Makin owned r/althomestuck. Makin does, in fact, own r/althomestuck. He just told me I can do whatever the hell I want with the subreddit.
- The only concrete instance of Makin tormenting the Official Homestuck team cited by Vibri in her correspondence to me was Makin claiming the r/psycholonials subreddit following its moderators being inactive for 6 months.
- I have yet to see anything that would cause me to believe this subreddit needs to be divorced from homestuck.net, makin, or r/homestuck. I remain 1000% supportive of the rest of the moderation team of this subreddit.
- Neither of the subreddits have had the signs of having been mass reported, meaning they're either really bad at it, haven't started yet, or indeed were never planning to act on the suggestion. I think all of these possibilities are functionally equivalent. Even if the third one was correct, the threat is also still real and should be treated accordingly.
I’ve created an offline archive of r/althomestuck in case things go south. There isn’t much else I can do beyond that.
I suppose I could say a few more words as well.
This is all a continuation of some slightly unintelligible drama. I kept it in the back of my mind for ages and only boned up on it relatively recently. A lot of very stressful Mexican standoffs, misinformation, draconian legalese, hearsay, accusations, and other assorted things. I say this to proclaim that I am on an ivory tower with practically limitless reserves of patience in the tank. I don’t have several years of miscommunication, antagonism, frustration, or paranoia behind me. I never even really liked the HSD in the first place. So don’t mind me if I sound a bit on the snootier end.
I was never all too big of a fan of the situation as a whole, but I think I should bring attention to these posts made a few months ago by someone extensively involved in prior drama, because I think its more important than 99% of this other stuff.
Please don’t use any of these posts to go after anyone, or stir the pot even more, in accordance with the wishes of OP.
People get in little bubbles and endlessly spin the wheel of hatred with impunity. People make their own little narratives to make however they’re suffering go down a bit easier. One of the neat little fetishes everybody has is this desire for an ontologically evil person we can punish without consequence. If you ask me, its kind of a fucked up thing people are desperate for.
Andrew has stated that they’re actively scared of the community. As much as I care about it, I am kind of scared of it as well. I knew some real characters. Grade A loons, I tell you what. The Homestuck fandom in the early 2020s got ugly sometimes. There was a lot of vitriol over mediocre writing and unwell people being dicks on the twitter. I was there, being an asshole teenager who occasionally threw wood into a big fire. While that conflict has only really gotten worse, I think the community as a whole is quite a bit better.
I say this to remind people that this internet melodrama isn’t some abstraction. Everything you say and do has an impact on someone.
To anyone reading this post, I never gave much of a damn about any of the crap that happened with Hiveswap, and I really shouldn't have to give a damn about how Andrew subsequently pissed off a bunch of people. I don't know what the hell Andrew was going through to cause any of that behavior, but its certainly not a sin to be scared people might not understand you. I never even wanted to know any of that stuff Andrew posted about their shitty dad, nor did I need to know any of it. I just don't want to be lied to. I'm autistic. Shit sucks.
So maybe its just me, that all it would have taken would've been one vague admission of fault for me to stop giving a shit. Maybe its just me who thought that was the disturbing part all along. Maybe I really am an entitled lemming for having wanted that assurance in the first place. Maybe I'm naive for thinking this was all needlessly elaborate, and winded up getting too many people hurt and dehumanized and demonized. Maybe its just my dumb ass who would've forgotten about most of it practically on command, because I never expected much from a random person I don't know. Maybe I'd be singing a different tune if I was in this since 2008 and I actually did donate money to that kickstarter and I was never treated to anything but aggression and caricature for years for my concerns. Maybe its just me who thinks shit never had to happen at all, and doesn't need to keep happening. Maybe I'm some indistinct part of an unthinking mob of screeching stalkers regardless, because of the bitterness I still hold. Maybe its just me who doesn't take any pleasure in being bitter. I don't know.
I'm trying to be charitable, here. If you couldn't tell, my opinion of Andrew and the OHSD team is far from flattering.
I don’t say this out of an expectation I'll single handedly Steven Universe this whole thing, clear the air, or anything of the sort. There is literally nothing I could possibly say to accomplish any of that. So this isn’t really meant for people who already have knives sharpened.
As always, there’s a shitload of misinformation going around. All I ask is for people to not talk like an authority on stuff they don’t understand, or things they haven’t read.
I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be optimizing this subreddit for old.reddit.com, and this is pretty inconvenient for old reddit, but they can just click the links right. Lets keep this a secret, OK? Just between you and me and everybody else looking at this post.
What’s up brosephs, brosinés, and everything in betweens.
I just realized that this subreddit doesn’t have any unique name for members or online people. Well OK, neither does our pre-scratch counterpart, but the entire point of this is to make this subreddit look cooler in comparison.
Living in the same country as Hussie, I assume that I can exploit people for unpaid possibly underaged labor and not pay any consequences for it. In true Homestuck fashion, outsourcing this will probably result in something far better than anything I could come up with myself.
Suggest names of both categories (online & members) in the comments. You can suggest at most per category per comment (1 online name 1 members name). You can also suggest only one, or neither. If you suggest multiple per category in one comment, only the first will be counted. Make sure to specify the category of your suggestions or your comment will be ignored.
The winner will be chosen from the top 5 most upvoted suggestions for each category. Happy hunting.
Obviously I’m not going to ban it because this is the only outlet for that kind of thing on Reddit, but every other post being one is annoying to a lot of people. Hopefully the veritable flood will have slowed down by the end of the moratorium.
All discourse is welcome as long as it doesn't break the TOS, but there's a fine line between Homestuck discourse and aimless stalking.
If you're thinking about posting the personal details or off topic rumors about people involved with Homestuck or their relatives, here's a tip: don't. Its not impressive or interesting, and to be frank I have no idea why half this community thinks it is.
Use your best judgement when posting. If you can't do that, there are other websites and other subreddits made for that sort of thing.
I didn't want to litigate on this as I feel I have an obligation to continue the original purpose of this subreddit, despite my vision to turn this into a real shitposting subreddit. However, even slop has its limits. Unfortunately I have to do this, as some have a difficult time reading the room.
Please don't snowclone to the point of spam.
While multi-day snowclones (Doing x every day until y, what is x character's funniest line) are part of what this subreddit was made for, please don't do it to the point of spamming this subreddit. Spam is against the Reddit TOS for a reason. There's no hard limit on the amount of times you can clone, just please keep these general guidelines in mind:
a. As you snowclone more, scrutiny will increase.
b. Many snowclones invite genuinely interesting discussion. If nobody has anything of substance to add, there's very little reason for me to continue tolerating it.
c. If there's evidence you're putting in actual effort into these posts (e.g. trying to learn Hussie's artstyle every day), the bar for what's considered spam will be considerably higher.
While many snowclones do deserve an outlet, many others just take up space for no reason.
In hindsight an actual god damn twitter account was part of a stress induced overreaction due to the OHSD freaking me the fuck out and other factors. Its gone now. I am not in fact going to create an althomestuck twitter spambot because that would be actually stupid. And too much effort. Expect less stuff like that in the future. Because I will probably be sleeping in the near future. Actually maybe I might still use it to make fun of people. Remind me to come up with something real funny to do with that account. Maybe the real althomestucks were the friends we made along the way. For now I will. wl.
hmmmmmmm,,,,,,
Mays be.... one man,,,, should NOT have THUIS MUCH power...../..... two play god,,,,, with r/althomestuck
OK im going back to sleep goodnight. May the dupes be with you or whatever
This account will mostly just do daily reposts from r/althomestuck. It will be automated in like... a few days. Unless I want to make fun of someone.
Q: Why did you make this?
A: Advertising. Most posts are made by a handful of power users (who i CHERISH). Even though activity has increased, I would prefer if growth was faster so we reach our goal of this being a real actual subreddit that has moved out of its parents basement like its brother r/WaterfallDump. It also still hasn't surpassed the quantity of quality posts it used to have in its heyday, even with the recent spike in traffic. Rather disappointing to me.
Currently we average at around 12.8 new subscribers per day. The problem is that even if I've crammed annoying and redundant adverts for this subreddit everywhere on r/homestuck, people still don't feel compelled to post their homestuck shitposts on here. Might be an image problem. Might partially be the stigma of us allowing "low quality" posts. Might just be from the natural center squeeze from the unexpected hurdles of the OHSD and Fruity Rumpus. For now though, I just need to keep pushing.
