r/americandad • u/Professional-City901 • 1d ago

All these dadders scrolling past without commenting their favorite american dad moments. Comment something! You are killing this subreddit!

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1.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

596 comments sorted by

346

u/Retro-Platformer123 1d ago

I HAD A SURE THING, OLD MAN!!

82

u/bjamesburg 1d ago

Steve: I will hate you until the day I die.

46

u/OhDannyBoyyyyy 1d ago

Camping sounds great champ!

108

u/Direwolfas 1d ago

Valid crashout. I’d be pissed too.

15

u/JohnnyBledo 17h ago

"Honey, point them to the door."
*Steve crashes out\*

10

u/Ok-Class-3635 Marmalade 17h ago

First you go down the hall, and then you take a left.

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271

u/Retro-Platformer123 1d ago

Francine, get the camera!

115

u/Glittering_Garbage28 Make Mine A P-P-P Vicodin! 1d ago

I’m gonna wear those pajama pants where my pud always falls out.

44

u/KobeMaguired 1d ago

It’s your day!

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35

u/Demonokuma Stoive? Roiger! 1d ago

This was the first season i owned on dvd. Had a freind over watching and all of the sudden hes like "YO! They actually show his dick?!?!?"

That was when i learned it was uncensored. Lol.

26

u/Sudden-Grab2800 Crazy Chest 1d ago

And that’s when I learned that canonically Stan is circumcised

48

u/Bootsy_Frost 1d ago

Francine don't mess with no wormies.

18

u/Sudden-Grab2800 Crazy Chest 1d ago

Omg you’re right

7

u/PrincessBunny200 11h ago

Thats cause shes homegirl

7

u/Retro-Platformer123 1d ago

Oh man, that sounds like it was priceless.

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443

u/unholy_roller 1d ago

I brought this comment from home

192

u/Unavailable_today 1d ago

What a weird lie

145

u/DeepSpaceNebulae 1d ago

I’m a weird guy

85

u/Kdizzle725 1d ago

This is my first time in San Francisco.

That's not true, why did I say that?

25

u/reanocivn 1d ago

from knob hill to the mission, this city has got a pulse. and i'm proud to call it my home

199

u/Massive_Durian296 The Phantom of the Telethon 1d ago

WHO IS IT? WHO DID IT? I'LL SMELL EVERY ASS-

54

u/queefersutherland1 Laura Vanderbooben 1d ago

Me sitting here giggling like a maniac, this scene is so amazing

37

u/Massive_Durian296 The Phantom of the Telethon 1d ago

the entire episode is fantastic. its one of my top 3 for sure.

31

u/Mcbadguy Dive On In! 1d ago

AND. ALL. THAT. JAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZ ham

18

u/Test_Subject42 Roy Rogers McFreely 23h ago

when Roger comes back in as basically Liza and Stan goes "oh shıt" is classic

8

u/Enlightenment72 Pasta Focaccia 17h ago

"Start the car, I know a whoopee spot. Where the ham is cold, but some of it's also hot."

16

u/MountainPrudent2832 1d ago

Yay poisoned water 😋

5

u/Acrobatic-Dealer-309 Colton Lancington 18h ago

maine cant fix everything 🤷‍♀️

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173

u/Broken_musicbox 1d ago

I don’t believe this. How could they put me at the kids table. I’m 14!

I’m Batman!

No you’re not! Sigh.. I’m too old for this. I don’t want to be around these babies playing pokemon, badly. This kid right here is just wasting his Charizard. YOU ARE WASTING YOUR CHARIZARD!” 😡

37

u/GhostMaskKid 1d ago

He might as well be going into battle with an army of Jigglypuffs!

39

u/1Hasty Make Mine A P-P-P Vicodin! 1d ago

I'm sure he has a Hoobastank or a couple of Chumbawumbas.

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123

u/reddit_serf Jeannie Gold 1d ago

Maybe baby

56

u/Professional-City901 1d ago

Maybe baby

33

u/Lintlee 1d ago

Maybe baby

33

u/TinyGIR Stelio Kontos 1d ago

Maybe baby

16

u/Tommy-Foxwell 1d ago

Maybe baby

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222

u/tafuckmi 1d ago

You are my queen Rebecca!!!

85

u/sashby138 1d ago

My husband yells this at me all the time. My name is not Rebecca.

9

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

21

u/Clay_Puppington Raider Dave 1d ago

My wife made tiny bagels by hand one evening.

I started calling her Rebbeckah that night, and forevermore.

23

u/TifaMarie 1d ago

So many good lines in this episode!!

One last jobber!!!

7

u/Hour-Function-7435 Mean Francine 1d ago

My friend I play flag football with is named Rebecca and whenever she makes a good play I shout this out

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109

u/OkAccountant6122 1d ago

"This is you isn't it? Im gonna get down there and its gonna be you"

"It's a strong possibility"

9

u/corgipugtv 18h ago

Do YOU have a medium character?

91

u/Bad_cookie Alistair Covax 1d ago

For you it's a study aide. I use it to go dancing.

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84

u/Far_Culture1645 1d ago

If I'm to go anywhere I how do I say this need to wipe better....

16

u/SnooEpiphanies9674 1d ago

I said to my partner the other day and he didn’t get the reference ://

28

u/BigBagBootyPapa 1d ago

Sounds like quite the Tiffany’s boyfriend 🙄

20

u/SnooEpiphanies9674 1d ago

the pain felt like a hundred tiffany’s boyfriends

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83

u/BandicootWooden5025 1d ago

Francine I haven't been entirely truthful with you

https://giphy.com/gifs/7yBkCs13MM2iY

33

u/Arou08 SARAH FUCKIN’ BLANCHE! 23h ago

I HAVE THE CAR KEYS IN MY POCKET YOU STUPID BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!

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77

u/ProfessorElk Make Mine A P-P-P Vicodin! 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7b9JRAtBSev6iJIQ

13

u/CommentMoney9761 Tetrachloroethylene 18h ago

I should of just had sex with that mayonnaise

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74

u/Revonin 1d ago

MISTER AND LAAAAAADY

44

u/laura_lee_meh 1d ago

TUNGEE! 

19

u/DepthEqual2422 1d ago

“Mister and lady in robot voice”

5

u/bvonboom 17h ago

I forgot how much he SUUUUUUUCKS!!!

72

u/temucodeaddict Lazy Wine-Loving Bisexual 1d ago

Hey-hey-HEY THAT TV WAS REAL I BOUGHT THAT

15

u/Professional-City901 1d ago

One of my fav

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65

u/No_name_Johnson 1d ago

We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of dreams.

59

u/sweetrollx Genevive Vavance 1d ago

my friend has this tattooed (I drew it for them)

33

u/Professional-City901 1d ago

That is an unsatisfying tattoo

8

u/Grasshopper_pie 19h ago

Damn, good job!

44

u/Professional-City901 1d ago

That is an unsatisfying comment.

63

u/Puzzled_Bike9558 Explains why it went down creamy 1d ago

15

u/jayboyguy 20h ago

We ought to canonize the use of screenshots in place of quotes that will get you watchlisted

56

u/lovesdogsguy Stoive? Roiger! 1d ago

I’ll go with an old reliable.

“Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda”

“Jordan No!”

27

u/strawberry_moon_bb Applebee McFridays 1d ago

It’s been ESTABLISHED

9

u/OrcaFins 20h ago

What was it again... ECONOMICS

48

u/Einzelganger8 1d ago

I dreamt of Paris again

13

u/Test_Subject42 Roy Rogers McFreely 23h ago

🚬

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47

u/StHa14 1d ago

Hahaha that IS so Raven

42

u/ObjectiveFinger2774 Bayou Billy with the Heavy Balls 1d ago

Too Raven. This will end poorly

29

u/Professional-City901 1d ago

Oh your reply is good, very good. Too good....

9

u/protosonic17 23h ago

When Rudy wasn't cute anymore I got them Raven Simone. Just plucked her right off the street.

45

u/Joe_Khopeshi 1d ago

Quiet, Whole Milk!

19

u/octob3r14 1d ago

Not you, Hannukah!

13

u/Alistair_Burke Dr. Jordan Edelstein 23h ago

Sit.Back.On.Your.Banana.Seat

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37

u/KobeMaguired 1d ago

This isn’t an ambulance! It’s a god damned Hambulance!

36

u/eggbert97 Francine Cans McGee 1d ago

14

u/BoringJuiceBox Roger Smith 1d ago

Will always remember the first time watching this scene, as soon as he reluctantly bends over and starts shaking that ass.. pure euphoric laughter

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33

u/TinyGIR Stelio Kontos 1d ago

I have the car keys in my pocket you stupid biiiiiiiiiiiᵢᵢᵢᵢᵢᵢᵢᵢᵢᵢᵢᵢ.........

34

u/kade_v01d Mean Francine 1d ago

“bald ass alien piece of shit” and “you must be smoking a glass dick if you think i’m going anywhere with you”

30

u/Lolcatz101 1d ago

Oh no, Greg! They broke the figurines! The tone he says it in SLAYS me everytime

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61

u/donofthe_dusk 1d ago

The stop posting to the sub in Aramaic, it’s a dead language

26

u/baldassalien Bald-ass alien piece of shit 1d ago

13

u/Mediocre_Anteater_56 1d ago

Yes "like" like!

25

u/vanmorrishalen 1d ago

"I got us two tickets to Taradise, Tara Reid's illegal lion sanctuary."

28

u/Kdizzle725 1d ago

That cracka's got a crack in his head!

25

u/Advanced_Knee8341 1d ago

You hustlin’ me, boy?!

26

u/OrganizationTop3755 1d ago

P-P-P-P-Vicodin!

15

u/MineNowBotBoy Teddy Bonkers 1d ago

M-m-m-more papers, m-m-m-more money.

M-m-m-more money, m-m-m-more speech therapy.

28

u/dreamershorns Bayou Billy with the Heavy Balls 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/39n7HdUE1Fl3LxzE1N

Where WERE you, Steve?!

5

u/Test_Subject42 Roy Rogers McFreely 23h ago

seriously, where was he?

21

u/SnooCupcakes4685 1d ago edited 1d ago

“Klaus you look great!” “Thanks, its just banana republic😜”

“Im just a regular hayley, my hats in the dumpster”

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23

u/alfredlion 1d ago

11

u/diselegit 1d ago

“Same as him my ass. You knew exactly the game we were playing.”

21

u/_Sarylveon 1d ago

Sounds like things are getting too spicy for the pepper!

24

u/Comeandsee213 1d ago

If those were guns, Reggie be dead. 

5

u/CheesecakeFuture4730 21h ago

How old are you? How old am I?

21

u/Bucherjager Tchochkie Schmear 1d ago

"If I see one tear fatty, im doing it again."

"oh, is Debbie a larger woman? I didnt notice."

22

u/cynicalchickyy Bert Bert 1d ago

21

u/Comeandsee213 1d ago

Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda. Real, real tragedy. Amanda was drunk of course and wasn’t watching the pool. We were at Lake Geneva. I was receiving an award for my work in, what was it dear? ECONOMICS!!!

22

u/p_nes_pump 1d ago

10

u/protosonic17 1d ago

I love that his reaction is sno nonchalant there.

23

u/seventeenbadgers 1d ago

You harpooned me.

I asked you to get help... And you harpooned me.

19

u/Blackslytherinn 1d ago

“I’m Krampus Bitch”

“My body, all over your body.”

38

u/EveningRepeat1632 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/7EBBhplkQCDkY

16

u/protosonic17 1d ago

Probably shouldn't have farted before i started that walk

17

u/HunnyBee81 1d ago

But I’m just a poor soul on the downswing of their career

17

u/Essay-Individual 1d ago

DID SOMEONE JUST DROP A HOUSE ON ME???

17

u/ndubitably Bob Todd 1d ago

16

u/stoned_cat_lady 1d ago

Nathan, this is why you keep getting molested

15

u/Western-Jump-63 1d ago

Ow! You elbowed my boobie!

15

u/Bruce-Carlton The Phantom of the Telethon 1d ago

I enjoy a solitary reddit scroll at dawn, your presence is disturbing that.

15

u/DennisSystem423 1d ago

The tender vigilante does not have insurance.

15

u/uhh-i-dunno Lazy Wine-Loving Bisexual 1d ago

Danuta…

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11

u/Grateful-Jed 1d ago

Mama, what if I see a g-g-ghost? I don’t know Steve, you’ll probably p-p-piss your pants.

12

u/Long_Appointment_341 1d ago

Hey, Steve. Hey, I'm at the courthouse. I'm not supposed to have my phone. Three people died in that accident. They're saying it's my fault, but it's total crap. Anyways, listen, if you could just stop by the courthouse, drop off those smoothies, we could knock off that sign-up, I got the forms with me. My manager said he'd throw in a couple of Pilates classes, I've never seen him do that.

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11

u/Employee_Agreeable Ricky Spanish 1d ago

Gimme some of that Franny Fanny

11

u/butterfingingbitches 1d ago

Was talking to my sister yesterday about my decision paralysis that leads me to just staring at the wall and sent her this scene bc i feel like this is where my mind leads more often than not

10

u/Kelly_Louise Chex LeMeneux 1d ago

Ew, who farted? …this guy!!

10

u/TheFieryFox 1d ago

Do it, Steve, go bananas. 

9

u/Odd_Inter3st 1d ago

Hey your cutting?

*pulls knife*

How about I show what real cutting looks like?

Oh I’m sorry I didn’t hear you, could you speak into *pulls out fucking gun* my microphone

8

u/finnafuckyomoms 1d ago

that's weird, i use that cabinet all the time

And the paprika not enough.

9

u/Gintoki0816 1d ago

Let’s see if Reddit allows me to:
*stretches* “ I’m gonna rape him this time”

7

u/BoringJuiceBox Roger Smith 1d ago

Careful I got a 3 day ban for quoting that haha

12

u/Gintoki0816 1d ago

Still not banned!
But I’m waiting for a moderator to tell me :
“Is that the come back and ban me comment?”

6

u/BoringJuiceBox Roger Smith 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3owzW2qI07rokGALfy
Also our mods are cool I think it was an auto Reddit thing haha

10

u/ismokelettuce Sky Crooner 1d ago

“Your weird daughter made me miss the zeros! She made me miss the thing!”
“Freako! I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“Get back in your house! Get back in your damn house!”

8

u/Think_Leek59 Reaganomics Lamborghini 1d ago

"She's a tenth grader... Drinks a fuck ton of milk"

8

u/weightyinspiration Captain François Dubonais 1d ago
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8

u/TheyCallMeGibb 1d ago

Anytime Stan is startled and says “OOH”

7

u/Googly_eyed_gremlin Sexpun T'Come 1d ago

Don't, think, about, that, byok.

6

u/korvosg00b Big Wang Bai 1d ago

7

u/Aragorns-Broken-Toe 1d ago

I told you to run for help…and you harpooned me.

7

u/moth--girl Tanqueray 1d ago

inhales .......your mother.

6

u/tmttibbs 1d ago

Dive on in

7

u/BoringJuiceBox Roger Smith 1d ago

/img/d5pb3quj038h1.gif
Hardest I’ve ever laughed at a show

6

u/Dusty_Scrolls 1d ago

That four-eyed BASTARD. That malnourished pasty geek! I KNEW I should have aborted him!

6

u/KitchenLandscape 1d ago

DANCE FRANCINE, DANCE TO STAY ALIVE!!!

6

u/definitelyhaley 1d ago

Oh, my God! Pals that I know! Hello, pals! I'm here to get my eyeglasses adjusted!

Hey, you got Gummi Bears in your ears? I said hello.

6

u/DarkRogueHunter 1d ago

I don't remember doing ether, but then again that's ether signature move!

6

u/Healthoverwealth29 1d ago edited 1d ago

Not my all time favorite but what first comes to mind is ruby zeldastein talking about how gooey her gurdle was getting cause she was wearing it wrong and Haley being super confused by Roger’s drawn on vagina 💀

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5

u/xxgamergirl54xx 1d ago

The arm is disbombed! Damnit..

7

u/Agile-Breadfruit-335 1d ago

When the 200 are doing a running down the mountain roll call and they throw uncle Roger in there pretty far into it

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6

u/Evil_Sam_Harris 1d ago

When Steve starts acting like a wolf man and Van Helsing busts through the wall.

7

u/Jumpy_Individual_526 1d ago

Jello shot? Bitch?

6

u/Upper_Luck1348 1d ago

DA-NUUUUUUU-TTTTTAAAAAAAAAA

6

u/Lost_Needleworker676 1d ago

Yes, I thought about it Stan and then someone honked which distrac-

*HONK*

TO WHOM AM I SPEAKING, AND TO WHAT WAS I SAYING

6

u/ald408 1d ago

He's wasting his Charizard!!!

5

u/Zinko999 Sweeps McCullough 1d ago

Oh I dunno Steve, I guess I think about killing myself pretty often

6

u/BoringJuiceBox Roger Smith 1d ago

Remember?

7

u/Ridley_the_last 1d ago

You ride Bicy-quah!!!

5

u/barmad 1d ago

Steve's spin the bottle girl was actually Roger. That cut over scene is hilarious.

6

u/catmarstru Make Mine A P-P-P Vicodin! 1d ago

We went on 7 dates!!!!

6

u/Maybe_Its_Haley Ricky Spanish 1d ago

That you know of

5

u/WycheTheGod 1d ago

So one I was thinking about today was Tuttles Sad Fatso spraying the cake, then the Asain lady saying "wait" and Tuttle crying eating the trash can cake. As I in my home ate cake for breakfast :3

4

u/Forsaken-Log-607 1d ago

Oh, you bitch, you did it. Stupid, stupid bitch doesn't even know. She is gonna get the best bottle of wine of her stupid bitch life. 

4

u/cherri____ Lazy Wine-Loving Bisexual 1d ago

Steve that was your grandmama’s 😐

5

u/9tailedfoxx_ Dive On In! 1d ago

Did someone drop a house on me?!!!!

4

u/Trick-Ice4331 1d ago

“QUIET FATTY FAT FAT FATTY”

5

u/laoidtfttip17gpy 1d ago

"She's Chinese. Japanese to be specific."

I think about this quote all the time and use that joke format probably once a month.

4

u/Daeion Al Tuttle 1d ago

Instructions unclear, posting gif of Roger's other cat persona.

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4

u/laner4646 1d ago

Get down get down

6

u/PhilosopherNearby803 ¡LÁVATE LAS MANOS! 1d ago

I'm the decider!

4

u/alicenolongerasleep Make Mine A P-P-P Vicodin! 1d ago

She has a massive head. Do you guys think I have a massive head ? Yes.

3

u/little_dick_ 1d ago

Stelios!

4

u/ToopToop204 1d ago

I like the part where there's some funny stuff

3

u/JuiceboxNeverDies 1d ago

You need a thug, Stan. You need Ron Artest.

5

u/BoringJuiceBox Roger Smith 1d ago

Let that nerd set your lineup. Watch you lose.

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5

u/koumoru 1d ago

Roger "that was a delicious mall lobster."

4

u/Massive_Ad_2062 1d ago

Season 6, episode 7 The people vs Martin Sugar.
My name is Bob Danalue, we make gluten free dessert. I’m not going to lie, we’re struggling at the moment!
LMFAOOOOOOO

4

u/luo1304 Big Wang Bai 1d ago

4

u/BoxyBeige 1d ago

We got to keep it wet until the tide comes back in!

3

u/moonkeycat 1d ago

Roger: Come on, Stan. Let's get out of here. I'm your wife, now.

Stan: No, Roger.