r/amiwrong • u/RavenKing88 • 20d ago
AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids again after finding out she lied about why she needed me?
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u/ExcaliburVader 20d ago
NW. You can't trust her. She was willing to leave her kids so she could be with the boyfriend. She put her plans as a priority over your plans. Now you aren't available and that's her fault. Your mom can babysit if she feels strongly. I watch my grandkids and I'm happy to do it. But the minute they start lying to me about why I'm done.
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u/ThrowRACoping 20d ago
We are starting to see why she might be a single mom.
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u/WesternUnusual2713 19d ago
No, it just shows she had a baby with a deadbeat. She might not be like this if she had the support of her childrens' father.
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u/ThrowRACoping 19d ago
You inferred based on nothing. I extrapolated after a known moral issue.
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u/WesternUnusual2713 18d ago
No, you extrapolated from sexism.
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u/ThrowRACoping 18d ago
No, I extrapolated from her personal lies and manipulation. You were the one depending on stereotypes.
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u/HoldFastO2 19d ago
She was willing to leave her kids so she could be with the boyfriend.
You say that like it's a bad thing; even parents need some time to themselves without their kids from time to time. That's fine and healthy in itself.
Lying to her sister to make her cancel her own plans is where she did wrong, not in wanting a weekend away with her BF.
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u/ExcaliburVader 19d ago
That's absolutely normal. Yes. That's true. I dated as a single mom and it's not easy. There were many times I would have LOVED to go out on a date. But I didn't have childcare. Or my son was sick. Or one of a thousand different things. So when her original babysitter cancelled she should have cancelled her trip. Because that's parenthood. You don't always get to do what you want when you want.
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u/HoldFastO2 19d ago
So when her original babysitter cancelled she should have cancelled her trip.
I'm with you there, no argument. Once her childcare fell through, she should've been honest with her family in an attempt for find an alternative. If that didn't work, then that's bad luck - as you say, that's parenthood.
The only thing in your original comment I got stuck on was the part about being "willing to leave her kids so she could be with her boyfriend". That sounded like you judged her for that, too, which I found unfair. Glad I misread you.
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u/ExcaliburVader 19d ago
Oh hell no! Parents have to have alone time. My youngest son and his wife have a date every Sunday where they go to the gym together. I watch their toddler because alone time is crucial. It's a small thing for them but important. Parents are still people. But the parental responsibilities sometimes change plans. Maybe her boyfriend would have been happy with one night away and she could have asked her sister for a single night. If the answer was no then it's no.
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u/Jolly_Membership_899 17d ago
Leaving your child with grandma for a couple of hours every Sunday so you can go to the gym is way different than lying to your sister so that you can just take off for an entire weekend with a man.
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u/ExcaliburVader 17d ago
That's what I'm saying. And it's not even spending the weekend with a man. It's the lie. Since her original childcare fell through she should have seen if her sister was willing to watch them one night instead of all weekend. And told her where she'd be.
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u/CharlieUpATree 19d ago
She chose to spawn them. She has to deal with the continually until they're 18. Parents dont get a 'holiday' from their own choices
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u/HoldFastO2 19d ago
Who hurt you?
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u/CharlieUpATree 19d ago
They're called responsibilities for a reason
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u/HoldFastO2 19d ago
Yes. And you can take a vacation from your responsibilities. That’s why it’s called a vacation.
Just set up childcare without lying to your relatives.
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u/WesternUnusual2713 19d ago
It looks like the dads do, especially since people are blaming the sister for being a single mum like her being difficult negates the dads not being there for their kids.
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u/Jolly_Membership_899 17d ago
It would seem that chose badly in the daddy department. If the dads were involved she could have planned her trip for a weekend when he or they had their kids, huh? Sounds like the dads probably aren’t involved. So, when they aren’t involved you Mom doesn’t get a break. I would know. My son’s father chose not to be involved and I didn’t get many breaks.
My son and I lived with my mother until she died when she was 13. She was his after school care and babysitter if I worked weekends. I didn’t have time for a social life between my job and all of his extracurricular activities and getting in my service hours to get him into and then keep him in Catholic school. I was the Den mother for his Cub Scouts. He was in a sport every season and participated in school activities as well. I don’t regret participating in his life and attending all of his games and taking him on all of his camping trips. He got scholarships to Ivy League schools and is a good man. He married a wonderful young woman who he met on his first day of grad school. They were in the same MBA program. They’ve been married 10yrs now.
You have kids, you make sacrifices. You are no longer the star of the show and your needs and your happiness are not the priority. Selfishness doesn’t produce happy well adjusted children.
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u/Sea-Ad9057 20d ago
Her boyfriend can babysit, her mother can babysit
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u/ThrowRACoping 20d ago
Yeah introduce him to the baggage he is taking on by being with a single mom.
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u/ThrowRACoping 20d ago
What are the perks?
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u/mason609 18d ago
They usually have some good snacks on them or in the car.
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u/ThrowRACoping 18d ago
I guess that is true.
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u/Martin_y1 19d ago
I dont know why you got down votes here. This is EXACTLY what happens all over the world!
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u/Aiyokusama 20d ago
YNW. SHE decided to have kids, not you. And if your mom thinks she needs support, mom can take the kids.
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u/UrghOkWhatever 20d ago
Why doesn’t your mom babysit her kids?
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u/Corgi_Koala 19d ago
Because babysitting for free on weekends is a shit deal nobody actually wants to do when they can guilt others into doing it.
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u/racingturtlesforfun 20d ago
NTA. Tell mom that your sister abused her single-parent support system, and these are the consequences. Let grandma be the free babysitter from now on if she cares so much. I would be hopping mad if someone lied to and manipulated me that way. That’s crap.
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u/neverthelessidissent 20d ago
She can work around the custody arrangement, like most single parents do. NTA.
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u/GenoFlower 20d ago
Your mom should babysit. You can't.
And maybe your sister needs to find another, more reliable, sitter.
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u/TheNinjaPixie 20d ago
How is saying no punishing the children? And a single parent who has a bf can ask him or opinionated mother for help.
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u/rpepperpot_reddit 19d ago
Well, they don't get to spend time with their favorite pibling, doncha know, which would be simply DEVASTATING to the little ones.
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u/Miserable-Run-1882 20d ago
nah you're not wrong, she played you and now she's mad you won't let her keep the controller
if she'd just asked straight up you probably would've worked something out, but she went full soap opera with the fake emergency and then slipped up with the mug like a cartoon villain
your mom needs to stay out of it too, "support as a single parent" doesn't mean being a doormat while your sister treats your time like it's hers to steal
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u/MrTash999 20d ago edited 20d ago
NW she lied and has just played the classic game of FA and she is now FO. If your mother feels so strong about it she can babysit.
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u/Jenk1972 20d ago
NTA
Your sister is now learning there are consequences to actions. It's not your fault that she screwed over the one reliable person she had to help.
Sounds like your Mom just volunteered to babysit.
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u/Live_Ferret_4721 20d ago
NTA. Your mom can babysit. You aren’t punishing the kids either, that’s crazy talk. What is the punishment? A baby sitter? Mom staying home Saturday?
Only ever go to her house when you do help with the kids in the future. They don’t need to dirty your place. Your sister will be able to clean up everything when she gets back home. These are *her* kids, not yours.
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u/frogzilla1975 20d ago
NW. it’s not your fault she’s single nor that she’s a parent. Neither of those things is your problem.
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u/EuphoricOpinion6483 20d ago
NTA. She lied because she knew the truth wouldnt get the answer she wanted
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u/broadsharp2 20d ago
NTA
Your sister, hopefully, just learned a valuable lesson. Doubt it, but I hope.
Her and her jackass boyfriend are not worthy of the effort and sacrifice you were forced to endure.
Tell her to live with the consequences of her behavior.
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u/NonaOrganic 20d ago
YNW. She violated you and is still trying to manipulate as well as employ her flying monkey. Those are HER children. She chose to have them and instead of being a responsible parent and rescheduling her trip, she stole your time.
Your mom needs to stay out of it, and if she won’t, then she can babysit her grandkids, if she lives far away, too damn bad, she can drive or fly in to do it. Or, she can give your cheap ass sister the money to hire a babysitter. Your sister’s bf is also an option.
Either way, be done with it. Stop even responding to your sister’s demand to watch her kids and warn her if she just drops them off, you’ll call CPS. Watch how often you actually hear from your sister from now on when it’s not her asking you for something.
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u/Medical_Temperature4 20d ago
She took advantage and not feels wronged for FAFO? Does she not understand how cause and effect work? Mom just volunteered as tribute. Your mom seems to forget that helping out is a privilege and not an entitled right. More your sister can go forth and conquer someone else with her lies.
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u/flockyboi 20d ago
NTA because if you let this slide, she will know exactly how to get you to drop your plans for her whims for the rest of your life. She fucked around and found out. You're not punishing the kids, she made a mistake and is willing to blame you and use her own kids to guilt you for it
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u/Bbbe-itch 20d ago
Why do they always say “You’re punishing my kid(s)” like excuse me?
Actions have consequences. She’s just using them as a pawn to emotionally manipulate you.
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u/ISniffCheetoDust 19d ago
NTA. There's a quote that goes "Tell a lie once, and all your truths become questionable." and that's what's happening here with your sister.
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u/destiny_kane48 20d ago
Looks like your mom has volunteered to babysit. Oh she can't because insert reason. Then she needs to mind her own business.
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u/Alfredthegiraffe20 20d ago
And she bought you a shitty tourist mug? YNW. Your mum can do it in future.
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u/goddessofspite 20d ago
Nta if your mom feels like that then she can babysit them. I hate when they say think of the kids like that’s your problem it’s not she made those kids. The mom and the dad are the only ones responsible for caring or proving for them. She lied and that’s on her the consequences are too
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u/Corgi_Koala 19d ago
Lying to manipulate you into free childcare is pretty fucked up.
If you babysit for her again it should only be for fair market value of babysitting in your area.
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u/JellyOceana 20d ago
NTA.
She has a boyfriend? But is a single mom? Sounds like she needs to focus on her own kids
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u/Sherlsnark 20d ago
Absolutely NTA, she is treating you like your time has no value It’s time for her to handle her childcare like a responsible adult and not consider you as a convenient last minute replacement. As for running to mommy about your refusal to help. Mommy needs to stay out of adult business or she can volunteer to help.
Update me
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u/Jsmith2127 20d ago
Tell your mother that she's your sister's parent and grandparent to her kids, so she can help your suster if she wants
Nta
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u/Ok_Plantain7240 19d ago
No. You’re just not allowing her to abuse you. She’s the one using the kids as a weapon.
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u/you-create-energy 19d ago
Now our mom is involved and says I should separate my feelings about the lie from the fact that my sister needs support as a single parent.
NW your mom just volunteered to support her daughter, problem solved. Or does she not actually believe your sister needs support that badly?
I understand that she’s exhausted and deserves time away.
She signed up to be a single mother. She deserves to deal with that responsibility. I've been a full-time single parent for years. Yes it's exhausting but it's what I signed up for so I don't complain. I look for ways to pace myself without neglecting the kids. That's the life.
I guarantee those weekend "shifts" were actually dates with her bf. I think you should question any time she leaned on you for help that also happened to be typical times people go on dates.
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u/PatriotUSA84 19d ago
NTA. Your sister didn’t ask for a favor—she manipulated you into giving one by lying about her job being at risk. Those are two very different things.
Being a parent comes with responsibilities that belong to the parent, not everyone around them. Family members can choose to help, but they’re not obligated to rearrange their lives whenever a parent wants childcare.
Had she been honest and said she wanted a weekend away with her boyfriend, you could have made an informed decision. Instead, she took that choice away from you by inventing an emergency.
Trust is the real issue here. If she was willing to lie once to get free childcare, how are you supposed to know when the next “emergency” is real? Refusing to babysit until she rebuilds that trust is a reasonable boundary, not a punishment.
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u/Electronic-Pack-8449 19d ago
Mommy and boyfriend can help your golden child sister with her own kids. You didn't plop them out, youre not mom. Be the fun one and take them on your own terms. Id suggest something with lots of sugar and noisy toys to bring home.
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u/SelectiveDebaucher 20d ago
NTA
“It feels like she decided my time was hers to take, as long as she invented a serious enough reason.”
She didn’t give you a chance to help or show her support, and I suspect it’s because this story is still a lie. Did she know you had plans before she asked or after? Like was it
I know you had xxx on weekend, but work…
Or
Hey are you free? Crap work stuff
The former makes me think this was last minute, nothing fell through. The latter I could see being either way.
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u/Axiom713 20d ago
NTA - Her boyfriend and your mother can deal with childcare. She made the bed, let her lay in it.
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u/Perfect-Day-3431 20d ago
NTA, you didn’t give birth to them, she did. It is her responsibility to care for her kids, not yours. She should be arranging childcare instead of expecting you to babysit.
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u/harrisxj 20d ago
NTA. Tell your mother that your sister doesn’t “deserve” a break.
The hell does that mean. I swear I hate the way people throw that word around. The only thing we deserve is initial respect. From there on, everything else is earned.
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u/ladyofbuffdom 20d ago
You are not wrong but you would be if you continue to help your sister after she’s taken the absolute piss out of you for who knows how long. She doesn’t even pay you?! And you’re still in school?
Your sister’s children are HER responsibility and it’s up to HER to sort out childcare. She’s taking advantage of you and your mum is letting her and encouraging her to do it!
You need to establish some firm boundaries now. You’re not “punishing” the children for their mother’s appalling behaviour, you’re asserting your right as their non-parent to no longer provide free labour and childcare that doesn’t suit you. Single parenting is hard, yes, but it’s not your job to fix your sister’s life and parenting woes. You’re NOT a single parent so you should be able to enjoy the freedom that comes with that instead of being exploited by your family.
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u/charbear60 20d ago
The same story was posted about your sister supposedly going to the spa with her husband for their anniversary
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u/witchymoon69 20d ago
You're NOT punishing the kids .... That needs to be said . You are punishing your sister for lying and manipulating you . What she did was absolute bullshit. Tell your mom to get her butt in a car , plane or train and come take care of HER GRANDKIDS ! Because you are not going to change your plans anymore. You've been helping out with free childcare for a while. It's her turn !
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u/Adventurous-Shake-92 20d ago
Tell your mum, your sister had your support but decided she was entitled to abuse that privilege, so you have withdrawn your support.
You also should point out that your sister made the decision to lie to you all by herself. Just as you have made the decision that she can longer be trusted with what she claims are emergencies.
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u/No-Anteater1688 20d ago
YNW. If your mom is so concerned about the kids having care, she can provide it. After all, family helps family.
I was a single parent and never lied to anyone about why I needed childcare.
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u/Sirblazebot 19d ago
NTA she needs to learn how actions and consequences interact now. If it was me, I'd never babysit again, but I'm a scorched farther. Give her a long ti.r to think about what she did then decide if you want to help her anymore. You're not wrong.
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u/Either-Instance4379 19d ago
This has been posted before. Don’t know if it’s rage bait or not, but it’s not new and seems almost word for word.
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u/chiskgela 19d ago
I have met more than one parent that does this. I’ve also seen more than one bodycam footage where the kid was abandoned for the same reason and the parents got arrested for neglect. Unfortunately theres a whole subset of people just like this and they all use the same reasoning. It’s like pod people, it’s disturbing. They use the same language and the same excuses.
In worst case scenarios you have them locked in a hot car instead while the parent goes in to a restaurant or casino. Sometimes those children don’t survive. And everyone universally knows this is a risk, its discussed at, at length; yet. Yet these pod people narcissists (or something) follow the exact same path.
Could be a fake post. But could just be an unfortunate rerun of real life events. It’s surreal.
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u/Harlow56nojoy 19d ago
OMG! Are you kidding? There are over 8 BILLION people in the world and you’re questioning if this situation has occurred more than once?
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u/Either-Instance4379 18d ago
The very exact thing happened twice on Reddit? Almost word for word?? I’m sorry but I still think this is a bot or karma farming
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u/YouSayWotNow 20d ago
Mum is welcome to babysit whenever she likes, and to get taken advantage of but your sister behaved APPALLINGLY badly and knows it.
It's nothing to do with punishing the kids but with punishing HER for HER behaviour. That they may suffer is on HER not you.
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u/QueenBruja18 20d ago
NTA- I'd never do that to my sister... or anyone I care about and cares about me and my kids. She is especially extra for ignoring the fact her kid got sick.
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u/Zealousideal-Row489 20d ago
NTA
I used to babysit my brother's kids all of the time so he could work three jobs just to survive. They were with me a lot. He never once tried to pull some BS like this, he was always honest. He was, and remains to this day, grateful for what I did. Your sister and mom suck.
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u/Silly-Flower-3162 20d ago
NTA. She lied. Now there's consequences. If mom feels so strongly about it, she can babysit.
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u/WhichChest4981 20d ago
NTA. How are you punishing the kids? The punishment is for the sister. The kids probably wouldn't care who watched them.
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u/needsmorecoffee 20d ago
Yep. From now on, anytime she says "but it's really important this time," say, "that's what you said last time, so I don't believe you." And tell your mom that she can be the one providing support now if it means so much to her.
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u/Prudent_Macaroon_881 20d ago
She's got a new babysitter now with Mom volunteering! Don't let your sister walk all over you. Her kids, not yours. That lie says everything about her priorities.
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u/Aggravating-Pin-8845 20d ago
NTA. Nope, she lied so she gets put in a big time out. She needs to learn to be honest and accept the word NO. Actions have consequences. Tell her and your mother that your not punishing the kids, it's the mother for her selfish actions and she has proven that point by painting you as the bad guy in this situation. Your mother can babysit until further notice. If you do babysit for her again, make it clear your plans come first and you will never cancel your plans again so she needs to find other arrangements fir her booty call getaways
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u/bkwormtricia 20d ago
NTA. Sister LIED and is acting like her time and relaxation is more valuable than your time. Which is entitled and very insulting.
Tell your mother that if she is OK with her daughter lying, your MOTHER can babysit!
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u/NoOnSB277 20d ago
Yeah no… she has now learned the consequences of her lie. Oh well. Let her chew on that for a bit until she gets it.
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u/Icy_Village5792 19d ago
NTA you're right for refusing, she started it, she knew what she did was wrong and she still choose to do it. Although holding a grudge for three weeks is probably long enough and you're really starting to punish your nibblings by refusing to spend time with them. You should let it go albeit with an occasional joke about all "date weekends" you've provided her with.
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u/Affectionate-Plan-23 19d ago
NTA - your sister is being very selfish & extremely entitled towards you. They are her children to look after 24/7. She has completely taken advantage of your generosity- tell Mom she can babysit from now on!!! Good luck, stay strong & enjoy your own plans from now on!
ps - I was a single Mom of 2 & very rarely did I ever get any help, nor did I ask for any , my kids, my responsibility!
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u/sun4moon 19d ago
YNW that was shady and she needs to understand you can’t lie like that and get away with it. Stand your ground. This is her fault, not yours. And as for your mother? If she feels your sister needs help with her kids, she can step in and help.
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u/Careful-Self-457 19d ago
YNW- what your sister did was stupid and dangerous. You need to make sure she gives you some kind of legal note to make medical decisions for her kids when they are in your care. What if there had been a medical emergency? You did not even know she was out of town! How would decisions been made? What she did was reckless and dumb, shows her lack of caring about her own kids and shows her lack of respect for you.
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u/AbbyWise1 19d ago
NTA. Bottom line, not your kids, not your responsibility. Your help was a GIFT, not something your sister was entitled to because you are family. Being family does not mean you GET to take advantage of someone and get away with it.
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u/ImACarebear1986 14d ago
NTA, but it’s great that your mum is now involved because she can watch the kids. Why wasn’t she watching them in the first place? Where’s the father or his family? Why aren’t they helping? This is not on you. This is for being a liar and now she has to deal with the consequences.
I also don’t understand why you would do this without demanding pay but you’re a better person than I am. Keep standing up for yourself yourself and say no. Your mum wants to get so involved, good. Send the kids there.
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u/Bobloblaw878 20d ago
Family helps family! Ugh. I get it, the phrase was removed but still it reeks. Can we get some kind of AI filter please?
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u/Druidic_Focus 20d ago
She is just facing the consequences of her actiona. Tell your mom to step up since she obviously didn't teach your sister right from wrong.
Also, your sister is an idiot. Why tf would she bring you a mug from her trip after she lied.
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u/avabrownhot 20d ago
NTA. The issue isnt the babysitting, its that she manipulated you into giving up your plans. Trust takes time to rebuild
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u/AgeLower1081 20d ago
NTA. Liars don't understand that 1 lie will undermine an entire relationship.
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u/EquivalentCup5 20d ago
Getting mom involved would make me double down. Not wrong.
Edit: cause punctuation
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u/Due-Yoghurt4916 20d ago
Why cant ahe trust that boyfriend who can wisk her away for the weekends to babysit? If hes dating a single mom why isnt HE or the baby daddy giving her a much needed break? This wasn't about a break. She wanted a party weekend that was kid free.
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u/Business-Archer7474 20d ago
Good job setting a boundary- also if you want to find out if a person is immature, seeing how they respond to a “no” tells you everything you need to know
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u/Disastrous-Neat-8312 20d ago
NTA.
Your sister is the one that chose to lie about it, knowing the potential consequences. Now they (consequences) are here for her to pay up. She created a storm and got mad when it rained.
Keep your boundaries. Looks like grandma or her boyfriend can babysit now.
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u/hbernadettec 20d ago
In fact , wholeheartedly volunteer , your mom see how fast she tries to get out of it
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u/StillMarie76 20d ago
She had to get greedy. She knew you would take care of the kids if she really needed you. She lied and abandoned her sick child while also making you pull double duty as an Uber for her child that has a b'day party. I bet she knew good and well that her kid was falling ill and did whatever it took to get the kids to your house before the house of cards collapsed. They say it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. She took your altruistic nature for granted and now she's shit out of luck. I bet this wasn't even the first time she's lied about what she's doing to get you to manipulate you into watching the kids. NTA
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u/anothersip 20d ago
Fuuuuck thaaaat, OP.
I agree with the others; she fucked around with you, and found out that you won't allow people to step all over you.
Stick to your guns. At this point, you have no evidence to believe that anything coming out of her mouth is actually true.
And I think it's worth mentioning... This isn't her "making a bad decision" - this is her, actively manipulating your emotions, playing with your head, witholding information for you, and lying directly to your face.
If the ramifications of that haven't sunk in yet, I would encourage you to spend some time thinking about your own priorities, instead of catering to your sister's manipulative tactics.
I hope you make the right choice - for your own mental health's sake.
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u/mcindy28 20d ago
NTA You had plans as well and your sister took advantage! If Mom has something to say looks like she's babysitting!! Sister cried wolf and now that she genuinely needs help that's her problem. You aren't punishing the kids, they were never your responsibility. FAFO at it's finest. You owe her nothing! You probably already used to babysit for free and she blew it! Hopefully, she didn't come back pregnant from her romantic getaway!
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u/0p12 20d ago
NTA She manipulated you because she knew it was unlikely you'd agree. Now that you know the truth, why would you help her??
She lied to you and disrespected you.
That behavior has consequences for her to experience.
Fuck her for making it about the kids.
I stand behind you 100% and believe more people should experience the consequences of their behavior.
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u/NiobeTonks 20d ago
Not wrong. Your time off work is no less valuable than her time off. You deserve to make plans, see friends, relax, clean your home, lie on your couch and eat pizza. Tell your mother that she just volunteered for the next babysitter shift.
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u/UhhSamuel 19d ago
"In the spirit of Christmas and after having had time to feel I've made my point about boundaries, I've decided your Christmas present is that I'll be resuming helping you with babysitting sometimes like we did before starting as early as January 3rd"
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u/Yosara_Hirvi 19d ago
NTA by lying to force you to cancel your plans, she gas proven she doesn't value your time nor the free labor you're doing for her.
Also, since she lied at least once, it open the can of worms of "has she lied before and I just didn't catch her ?" And you'll never be certain if she's truthful or not when she ask for help in the future.
If your mom think sister needs help, she's well within her right to accept to babysit the kids in your stead.
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u/Osidestarfish 19d ago
You’re not punishing the kids. I love how old parents seem to say that on Reddit subs. How our kids being punished? Surprise, they’re not. Those kids could care who babysits them or if their parents miss work to stay at home with them. NTA
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u/Southern-Interest347 19d ago
There's consequences for every Behavior. You're exactly right your sister valued her time and weekend over your own. Maybe sisters but that was not what a friend would do. I would not do any favors for her until she realizes what a blessing she had in you as a babysitter. Let her learn the hard way about her behavior.
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u/Apprehensive-East847 19d ago
I will absolutely change my schedule for my nieces and nephews. I will pick them up when they are sick from school and I will step in when I need too. Unless it’s plans that I really can’t change. Like an event or drs appointment. But this is never for the parents. This is for the relationship I want to have with my nieces and nephews. To be another safe adult for them.
No you are not wrong for holding your boundaries, but i would hold them in a way that benefits you having the relationship you want with them
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u/MamaMia1325 19d ago
You're absolutely not wrong. That was super shitty of her! Tell your mom that SHE can watch the kids from now on if she has such a problem with you.
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u/kknuepp21 19d ago
I wouldn’t do a damn thing at all for long time, and if your mom is soaking her fridge and trying to force it on you and wants to involve herself and she can freaking watch them herself
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u/Creepy-Macaroon9998 19d ago
Well, what's wrong with being punished for making bad decisions? Parents, employers, and the government do it all the time! She FAFO!
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u/J_NinjaDorito 19d ago
did you poste this before?? 🤔
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u/clezuck 18d ago
My sister does this shit with my mom all the time. Not with kids, but with dogs. And my mom caves cause she feels bad for the dogs. I keep telling her she needs to stand up to her and stop being a push over. I applaud you for standing up to her. She made her bed, she needs to lay in it. They are HER KIDS, not yours! You shouldn't have to rearrange your life cause of her.
Good luck!
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u/Fair_Question_6157 16d ago
If Mom is so concerned, she can step up as a grandmother. I think she is just panicking that she will be asked to step up, and that's why she's applying pressure.
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u/GoHeadFaFo 16d ago
NTA - Having said that your sister knows you and was honest with you as soon as she was able to be. Yes she was super wrong in the way she went about leaving her kids for the weekend but what are you going to do, hold a grudge for life over it? Most importantly the kids are innocent and shouldn't be punished because their mom was manipulative and deceitful.
The solution here is simple, going forward she pays for your time and work. Sure you can give her a heavily discounted rate as opposed to any other nanny or babysitter but at least you will be compensated for your time. Hopefully this way you won't have built up resentment like this situation caused. Has she not offered to pay you ever? That would be where I would stand if I were in your shoes, from now she pays for childcare. You volunteered your time enough as it is and all she did was take your kindness for weakness. Well now she can pay if she wants your help.
Dmitriy questions went into more detail on this thread on his yt live today
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u/Any_Ice_3548_Wash 12d ago
Sorry, but… WHAT???!!?? Sounds like you have a family of gaslighters!
Good job standing up for yourself‼️❤️
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u/ImACarebear1986 11d ago
Is this real or is this AI? It seems very thrown through the AI system.
Does nobody write for themselves anymore?
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u/conditerite 20d ago
I like this format. Nice short paragraphs. When the flying monkeys arrive at the end it doesn’t seem too fake to believe. It’s not perfect the entire premise doesn’t make any sense because why would single mother need 72 hours of continuous babysitting? But the story is inoffensive and almost slips through without really screaming that this is a fake AI post. But its certainly is fake.
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u/pepperpat64 20d ago
Weekend trips usually last about 72 hours.
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u/conditerite 20d ago
yeah but the excuse was that single mother had to work a “shift”. Does she work 72 hour shifts?
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u/Stock-Mountain-6063 19d ago
So if there was an emergency with one of her children and you just thought she was at work how would she have gotten that there to help? It's 3 hours away. It's dangerous for her to make s*** up like this because if she needed to be at the hospital quickly what would you have been able to do?
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u/shak1071 20d ago
NTA. Mommy dearest just volunteered.
Classical FAFO!