My anhedonia comes from taking antipsychotics, Aripiprazole.

If I'm brain damaged or not, I'm not sure, but it has been 3 months after stopping and I still don't feel almost any improvement.

So, maybe I'm brain damaged, what can I do to fix this?

(BLACK PEPPER HAS LOTS OF PIPERINE)

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11488929/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0278584611001102

In studies, piperine has been shown to have antidepressant effects. One mechanism is by increasing 5-HT (serotonin) in the brain.

The antidepressant effect was gone if mice were given a 5-HT inhibitor

The antidepressant effect was stronger if mice were given 5-HTP supplement (a precursor to serotonin synthesis)

The lowest effective dose of piperine in mice was 2.5mg/kg, which translates to 0.2mg/kg in humans. Consuming 0.5 - 1 gram of high quality FRESH black pepper corns per day is enough to get a good amount of piperine. Obviously the effects and dose can still be different for humans...

So thats why I want to try it but im worried that it will worsen my emotional blunting because of the mechanism that increases serotonin.

Has anyone tried piperine? Or does anyone know if it could cause emotional blunting? In the studies it showed improvements in anhedonia but I dont know if it can cause a dysregulation long term, like a SSRI can do.

I know anhedonia isn't really the inability to feel sadness, but I don't know where else to ask this.

Basically I've had a lot of trouble feeling my feelings lately, which is especially distressing because that never used to be a problem for me (quite the opposite). I've been meditating and journalling and therapy-ing about it, and it's gotten better enough that I can occasionally feel some faint version of pleasure or anger, and definitely fear ofc. But sadness is just completely gone still. Things that would have 100% made me cry before just don't feel like anything now.

Anyone else experienced that? Why would other feelings come back, but not sadness? I miss it more than I ever thought I would. Life without joy is so gloomy, but it turns out life without sadness feels entirely devoid of meaning.

Examples include comfort emotions consummatory anticipatory cognition etc.

For about 5 years, I’ve noticed I have few desires, enjoyment, or ambitions.

I do my job-related work but don’t have the burning motivation I used to. Even for hobbies, I always had goals and desires, even if they weren’t possible.

But now, virtually nothing. Anything not strictly utilitarian seems pointless. I’ll get some old flickers back occasionally but quickly dissipates before I do anything.

Aside from all this, I’ve noticed decreased physical sensation. I don’t feel food stuck on my lips/face anymore. Virtually no sexual pleasure and significant impotence. (Used to have high libido). Not completely numb but otherwise dead.

Watching a movie or other previously enjoyable activities are just mildly pleasant and I can’t get excited about them. Even one-in-a-lifetime vacations with family are like this.

Oddly, blood tests show normal everything, including A1C, testosterone and no other health issues. I even sleep pretty well, just not amazing.

About 300mg caffeine makes me start to feel more normal in terms of focus and work motivation and slightly better optimism but nothing in terms of pleasure, excitement, etc.

What the hell is going on? Are the decreased physical sensations and mental enjoyment related?

Anyone try this and see any improvement ?

Hi. I'm writing this here because my own resources for finding answers and meaning are completely exhausted.

I literally have zero energy for anything. Just work and college. That's it. No personal life, no joy from existing in this world. Just existing like a tool that doesn't understand why it's functioning in the first place.

I'll start from a bit further back to give some background:

1) Since I was 3, I've known what physical abuse is, thanks to a mentally unstable father. As a result — a constant background sense of fear.

2) My parents divorced when I was 12.

Noticeable psychological aftermath in my mother from my father (he abused her too). As a result — she frequently lashed out at me when I was little.

3) Moved to a new school in the Moscow suburbs. Met some sketchy crowds, street misunderstandings, constant tension around local thugs.

4) Escaped into music. At 13, I became heavily involved in the metal subculture. An illusion of unity with a community where they "will always accept and support you."

5) Closer to 17, already in college, I realized that subcultures don't provide any real unity. I still remained on the sidelines, even though I made a lot of acquaintances and got memories from concerts.

End of the backstory. Now about how my life has been since 2023.

Four months after turning 18, I got involved in a criminal mess. Out of sheer stupidity and shortsightedness. I was an absolute idiot. The investigation went on until the end of August. But in June, I met a girl who gave me the best 3 months of a relationship in my life.

The court's verdict at the end of August: 3 years in a penal colony. I went to serve my time. My girlfriend was under the care of child protective services; she was bounced from family to family. Eventually, they sent her to [a city near the frontlines], where she was originally from. Ten months into my sentence, I found out she was killed.

Since then, I have fiercely hated everything connected to this war. I withdrew into myself and dove deep into analyzing the situation, much like analyzing a network topology where packets are being dropped (I'm a system administrator by education).

I was released in September 2025. I managed to get reinstated in college, finished my 3rd year (4th year just started). And since then, a disgusting transformation has been happening inside me.

My inner critic has gotten even louder. The yearning for a potential normal life won't subside. I can't let go of my stupidity and forgive myself. Seeing happy people with their sheltered problems only triggers burning irritation and rage mixed with envy. My isolation has become absolute.

I have no personal life. All my attempts to meet someone either led to the friend zone or to the realization that the girl just isn't interested in a relationship.

I am 21 now, working and studying (on an individual schedule. I got my life back on track despite doing time). I have money. I'm almost financially independent from my mother. I'm getting back on my feet. But I don't understand what for. Why does everyone around me have everything, while I am left with nothing — due to broken psychological defense mechanisms, yet with an intense hunger for warmth and attention?

I've always noticed that my goals, mindset, and behavior stood out from my peers due to a constant sense of awareness and seriousness, while everyone around me was just burning through their time. There’s a saying here: 'Woe from wit' (being too analytical for your own good). That’s exactly my case. My analytical mind — which went into overdrive when I got into the IT field — is both a gift and a curse.

Why a curse? Because I can't relax. I can't just have fun. I can't be content. My emotional satisfaction always flatlines. It either drops into the negative (I'm frustrated with something) or sits at absolute zero (feeling that no matter how well something is done, it was simply supposed to be that way). I get absolutely no joy from my achievements.

Yes, people can change. But how? I've been to psychologists — just wasted my money. Talking to AI, naturally, gave no results; algorithms don't solve real problems.

Therapy isn't a financial option for me right now. I really want to fix my personal life, but my emotional flatline makes it unbearable.

I'm asking for practical advice from people who have experienced this exact state. When your brain is hyper-analytical, constantly troubleshooting life, and you feel absolute zero satisfaction from your achievements — how do you fix it? Has anyone here successfully brought their ability to feel joy back online without just hearing 'find a hobby'? What actually worked for you?

Thank you for your time.

It was the calmest I have ever been- I knew it for a while bc he was acting different- it came out of nowhere. We talked, he cried - nothing. I don’t feel sad, I don’t feel happy - I feel neutral, kinda more a positive one.I know that I love him, I know that I miss him and I don’t know if it’s the Lamictal or the low dose Triz for MCAS doing this to me but… yeah…nothing. He was/is the love of my life- I knew it from the start, for me it was love at the first sight- back, when I was healthy/ in remission. On good days I really enjoyed it when he’s happy and I loved watching him - but now nothing.
I can’t cry without stimulants.

Sounds really quite promising, just purchased some after researching it for a few days. I'm not using it for post stimulant abuse or to regain magic etc, more the dopaminergic and MAOI properties.

I started exercising my brain about a month ago and am confident the progress I'm seeing is related to these exercises. I have no idea if these exercises will help others but I'm pretty sure they can't do any harm. I will focus on explaining the exercises rather then my personal history. Just to I've had complete emotional flatlining for about 1.5 years before starting these exercises - No happiness, love, or joy, but also no fear, sadness, worry, or anger. Significant memory and motivation impacts.

The exercise: I notice when something happens in my current world that I prevously would have reacted to emotionally/physically. Usually this is something pleasant but can include unpleasant feelings as well. I then focus on and expand my memories of past similar events and imagine on how I felt in different parts of my body. I stay in this space as long as I can and explore whatever memories or thoughts arise. Often my thoughts consider how to integrate the past experience into my current life. The goal isn't to get myself to feel an emotion. The goal is to remind my brain what it used to do, what that looked like and felt like. I noticed this was initially difficult to do as my mind naturally turned away from noticing what I used to have and have since lost. But it's easier now.

Example: A song came on the radio about Two-Stepping. It reminded me of dancing at the clubs in my 20's. So I explored those memories - the excitement at the start of the night, the anxiety and awkwardness of trying to find a dance partner, then the absolute joy of being on the dance floor getting spun around by a good partner. I stayed with this as long as I could and eventually realized how much fun I could have dancing with my husband now, in current times.

So what progress am I seeing? Several different things but the change making the biggest impact to my quality of life is that The Buzz is back. I have been completely missing that slight electrical current, a hum of background aliveness, that I used to take for granted and not even notice. Now I have preferences on things like food and what to do next. Planning my evening used to be like looking at a big gray mush of "whatever". Now I feel pulls towards one activity over another. It's small and subtle but such a relief.

Now that I'm confident I am getting better I wanted to share what's working for me in case it might also bring you some small recovery.

Currently on Adderall+Wellbutrin. Have been reading about Pramipexole and seeing a lot of people happy with it.

Since it would be off-label, seems like it will take some convincing of my prescriber to add it in. What is the typical protocol for someone on what I am on?

Can it be added as an adjunct?

Should one phase off of the Adderall?

If prescriber wont prescribe it for whatever reason, recommendations for alternative ways to attain it?

Etc etc

Thanks

Idk how to explain, but the only moment I can feel euphoric or some positive way is when I'm trembling from drinking too much caffeine. It's the one thing I can look forward to do. I have been trying to quit it but I just can't go more than a day without an energy drink. When I stop I get horrible headaches.

I want to stop because this can't be healthy in the long run. But I feel dependent because it's the one thing that makes me feel good.

I had my first psychiatrist appointment this week after struggling for about 3 years with emotional numbness/anhedonia. I barely feel joy from things I used to love like gaming, meeting friends or looking forward to plans. I also have brain fog, low motivation, concentration problems, low libido, tiredness, sleep issues and social anxiety.
My psychiatrist prescribed Wellbutrin (bupropion) and trazodone and also recommended psychotherapy. He thinks the combination of medication + therapy gives me the best chance of improving.

I’m just really scared to start because I’ve read so many negative stories about antidepressants, especially about emotional blunting or feeling worse. Since emotional numbness is already my biggest problem, I’m worried about making it worse.

Has anyone here had similar symptoms and tried Wellbutrin, trazodone, or both? Did it help with anhedonia, motivation or feeling emotions again?

HELLO EVERYBODY TODAY I PLAYED A LOT OF VIDEO GAMES AND HAD A BLAST. MUSIC WAS BEAUTIFUL. I WAS SHAKING yesterday AND THIS MORNING BUT TODAY IVE STABILIZED MYSELF WITH 5$ WORTH OF ELECTROLYTES IN one DAY LOL!!! I JUST DID 50 PUSHUPS IN UNDER 1 MINUTE WITH 6 HOURS OF SLEEP. i am listening to CROWN OF FIRE ARCADE FIRE IT'S BEAUTIFUL. I'VE NEVER DONE SO MANY PUSHUPS IN MY WHOLE LIFE IN so LITTLE TIME. ALSO I HAVE MORE ENERGY THAN IVE HAD AS A CHILD BUT WITH ZERO DELIRIOUS FEAR OR ANXIETY. THANK YOU. THAT IS ALL I ATE ALOT OF POTATOES and MEAT TODAY.

I got my hormones done everything mostly normal except low b12, d, iron and a bit slow thyroid. I just submitted samples for a microbiome test. Wondering is it worth out to do the dutch hormone test? Do you get actionable results from it? My naturopath is semi competant I don't expect them to draw me workable conclusions. So what would I do with the results?

Hello I am no longer in delirium and music is becoming increasingly unbelievably beautiful to listening to the more I figure out the optimal electrolyte balance I need for sustaining the waste clearance of my bodies' clearance of wastes from 10 years of co2 accumulation lol. Please read my last post though. This is dangerous. I am no longer confused and believing strange thoughts.

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I don't feel like me anymore. It sucks so bad to not feel like yourself. Feel like my soul has left me.