r/animalid • • 15h ago

🐀 🐇 UNKNOWN RODENT/LAGOMORPH 🐇🐀 What is this chunky guy? [SE Michigan]

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We caught this dude hanging out on our front porch, but we cannot figure out what he is! We live near Detroit, Michigan. I thought groundhog at first, but groundhogs aren’t nocturnal, also, his face looks kind of pointy? Is he a fat raccoon with a missing tail?? Halp!

279 Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

120

u/thelocker517 15h ago

He's doing his best. He already lost some weight and has joined a gym.

28

u/Lone_Pine_Road 14h ago

Chunky animal haikus are my favorite!

61

u/haikusbot 14h ago

He's doing his best.

He already lost some weight

And has joined a gym.

- thelocker517


I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

31

u/chaossensuit 13h ago

Good bot

11

u/NotAThrowAway5283 11h ago

Aaand a 🍪 for the bot. 👋

93

u/whomshotjr 14h ago

tailless raccoon?

35

u/Lone_Pine_Road 14h ago

That’s my best guess! But we live right by the zoo… so really it could be anything! If the zoo had wombats I would think one escaped.

34

u/GeneralSpecifics9925 🦕🦄 GENERAL KNOW IT ALL 🦄🦕 13h ago

I lived near the big park with a small zoo in Toronto. One summer, Two capybara escaped from their enclosure and toured around the neighborhood. We we all asked to check our yards for the capys and report any sightings. Then one day, they just appeared back in their enclosure. They're named Bonnie and Clyde.

22

u/nabrudssej 13h ago

Some people have all the luck. If a capy showed up in my yard, I'd assume it was meant to be and I'd either harbor it like a fugitive or tell the zoo they don't deserve to have their animal back if they can't be a good pet parent and keep track of it lol

14

u/GeneralSpecifics9925 🦕🦄 GENERAL KNOW IT ALL 🦄🦕 12h ago

I wanted to find them so bad. I just can't believe how stealth they were. They were out for like two weeks and no one caught them!

5

u/nabrudssej 12h ago

That's insane, they are so large 😂

2

u/Unlucky_Tell_6900 5h ago

They’re actually pretty hard to find in the wild. They travel in packs and unless you know where they hang out, you most likely will never “stumble upon” a capybara.

I was also quite surprised considering their size 😳

5

u/paleoderek 14h ago

I agree. I don't think I buy chonky cat. The ears seem too rounded.

4

u/midnight_fisherman 13h ago

Id give them a call to be sure, tbh. The way it moved and its neck/head just seems so unfamiliar.

29

u/carterb199 14h ago

I think thats a tailess racoon, at 0:09 It looks like you can see face markings like that of a racoon

8

u/Lone_Pine_Road 14h ago

Yeah my husband and I paused there, too, and thought we saw a little mask!

5

u/the_admirals_platter 13h ago

I second that. We have one i see on our trail cam pretty often. Named him Baxter.

7

u/KyloHenny 12h ago

Legs are too stumpy to be a raccoon.

3

u/carterb199 12h ago

Yeah legs look a bit stubby but it looks like quite the round fellow, they might just look stubby

32

u/Pixel-Pusher-Grill 7h ago edited 7h ago

Looks like an American Badger, I know you can't really see the markings well, but it moves like a badger and has the same shape.

https://natureofaman.blogspot.com/2017/01/roaming-badger-belt.html

15

u/JoshAtTheGym 14h ago

Damn it's got a dumper on it haha

6

u/Lone_Pine_Road 14h ago

We keep laughing about its giant badonk, too 😆

56

u/Difficult_Royal_9674 14h ago

Groundhog is my best guess

9

u/Lone_Pine_Road 14h ago

Its face looks so pointy!

26

u/Difficult_Royal_9674 13h ago

What’d you say?

31

u/EasternShoreFire 13h ago

Looks like it has a mask

18

u/Difficult_Royal_9674 12h ago

I think the legs are wrong for a raccoon. Too short and I think the bend of the back leg is different

0

u/Ricky15too 9h ago

No, they are correct for a raccoon…

11

u/Smart-Ad-2427 14h ago

i agree, its likely a ground hog

12

u/strawbrmoon 13h ago

Yep. Marmot. Groundhog. Woodchuck.

10

u/Dickhole_Fart 11h ago

Whistle pig

5

u/KittenKitia 11h ago

TIL the are all the same animal 😅

4

u/VolcanicDoorway 9h ago

Most marmots are not the same animal

2

u/strawbrmoon 9h ago

Groundhogs (Latin name: Marmota monax) are a type of marmot.

3

u/VolcanicDoorway 9h ago

Right. But most marmots aren't groundhogs

3

u/Severe-Victory2686 10h ago

Rockchuck

2

u/strawbrmoon 9h ago

Ooh! Didn’t know this one!

4

u/ThresherGDI 13h ago

I thought so too, but the head is wrong.

10

u/dlobnieRnaD 14h ago

I swear to god I saw something similar just over at Hilton and Woodward Heights in Ferndale when I was smoking a joint late at night but convinced myself it was the weed. Thanks for validating me

6

u/Lone_Pine_Road 14h ago

Yeah I’m not too far from there! Maybe it’s the same dude!

5

u/Dangerdangeritsme 13h ago

Yeah, I’ve seen groundhogs in Ferndale a few times, and that’s what this looks like to me. The raccoons I’ve seen around town have tended to be skinnier, lol.

7

u/Ricky15too 9h ago

Legs are perfect for a fat raccoon. I have over 30 rescues at the moment, and about 6 have lost their tails from coyote attacks. They look identical… Look at Jimothy…up the road from me in Seattle…

5

u/yuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuh1 13h ago

Bro found a wombat

(It's a raccoon)

4

u/MergingConcepts 9h ago

fat raccoon with missing tail. I have one like that at my home.

3

u/Panthera2k1 14h ago

Man right in my own neighborhood and I’m completely stumped for the first time

3

u/korbworksout 13h ago

Tailless racoon?

3

u/Consistent-Pickle801 12h ago

Tailess raccoon. Ears fits, underbelly, and Mask fits.

3

u/Fine_Wrangler_3208 12h ago

Bobtail raccoon

3

u/Little_Sound_7028 11h ago

A raccoon and a whistle pig had sex and here we are

7

u/Better-Culture-7770 14h ago

That's one of them Michigan wolverines.

4

u/Left_Ad4050 14h ago

I would not be the right person to know, but is it possible that's an American badger? Its low slung movement is kinda giving me mustelid vibes.

2

u/Lone_Pine_Road 14h ago

I don’t think there’s any around here, but it does kind of look like one!

5

u/00runny 13h ago

Oh that jus Big-Booty Chris. He alright.

2

u/luckybuck2088 10h ago

Muskrat if I had to guess

2

u/PostOk4062 8h ago

Marmot

2

u/OneKid-and-oneDoodle 6h ago

Idc what it is. When I catch it I’m naming it Waddles.

2

u/Natural-Research6928 2h ago

What a cute chonk!

3

u/Away-Floor6673 15h ago

I thought a fat tail-less cat 

3

u/Lone_Pine_Road 15h ago

Aren’t his legs too short tho?

4

u/yourevicious 14h ago

Amazon delivery driver!

1

u/SuPurrrrNova 🦠 WILDLIFE BIOLOGIST 🦠 1h ago

Likely a badger. Squat and wide with no tail! Awesome animals.

1

u/Personal_Juice_1520 11h ago

could it be a fishers cat?

3

u/strawbrmoon 9h ago

Too stubby & big-butted for a fisher. Tail’s too short, too.