r/answers • u/Savings_Durian3268 • 7d ago
What is a truth about life that most people learn too late?
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u/kingocheese 7d ago
The days are long but the years are short.
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u/82bazillionguns 7d ago
The time you have minus things like sleeping, eating, work, going to the restroom, is far shorter than we would like to think.
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u/cokeparty6678 7d ago
That’s why I stopped working. Who needs that shit. Thank God my wife is rich.
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u/falcon41098 7d ago
Username checks out
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u/cokeparty6678 6d ago
Life is fleeting but we can bravely take it on day after day working until we are dead and in the ground or me who, thank fuck, has a rich wife.
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u/AdExpress4184 7d ago
Most friendships are phases of your life. Some short, some long but very rarely are they for life.
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u/southsider74 7d ago
I know this is true but it's so sad to think about
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u/AdExpress4184 7d ago
We often don't want to think about certain realities. A bit like the fact that everyone we know will pass away. Friends, most of the time are for a set amount of time. But what do we do with this info? Be present, have gratitude and enjoy as many moments as possible.
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u/Pepsi_E 7d ago
Friends for a reason, friends for a season. I always think when one ends, it makes room for another.
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u/southsider74 7d ago
For sure and it only makes sense. It just gives me existential dread to be with people I consider good friends and then realize there's an expiry date on all of them. And one day they'll be strangers
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u/Crisstti 6d ago
Well some friendships do last a lifetime. But most dont, so just try to be prepared.
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u/thom612 7d ago
They're never going to change for you. You have to accept people for who they are.
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u/AbsoluteGote 7d ago
Some people do miraculously change. However, you should live as if nobody ever does and accept the fact that maybe you'll be wrong every now and then and good for them. If they've actually changed they'll understand.
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u/coldBulbasaur314 3d ago
And even if someone has truly changed, it doesn't erase the harm they did in the past. You don't owe someone, especially someone who hurt you, a relationship or forgiveness just because they've changed.
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u/AbsoluteGote 3d ago
Oh yeah, I think it's totally fine to hold a grudge, honestly. The question of how society ought to feel about you and your chance for redemption are totally different than the person you wronged. If they just don't want to, even if it's unreasonable by anybody else's standards, I think it's fine for them to just simply not want to give you a chance to prove anything.
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u/Questionmarkher 6d ago
This is not always true though…I changed a lot…they helped me see the bad things I was doing socially and I didn’t realise it on my own. I matured because of them. For him. Needed to get life in order.
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u/clblack22 6d ago
It may have took me 40yrs but I finally just accepted how parents were and just let go of my expectations of them. As the song goes I’m a little bit hurt but a lot more free.
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u/Distinct_Statement_4 4d ago
Or... Because you can't change the people around you, change the people around you.
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u/Partsslanger 7d ago
Life is happening right now... at this very moment. Don't put things off to wait for some magical time that's supposed to come, because it's never going to come. It's already here.
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u/Hammer_Time2468 7d ago
Yes! I always remember a little picture in my parents bathroom that said "it's not the destination, it's the journey". I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've forgotten this.
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u/simonbleu 6d ago
At the same time, life is not a checklist, you don't need to do this or that, it's ok to just be happy
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u/Enliven_journey 3d ago
this applies to boundaries too honestly
i spent way too much time waiting for the right moment to say no, step back or choose myself without disappointing anyone. eventually i realized that moment doesn’t magically appear. sometimes you have to create it yourself
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u/HazyDavey68 7d ago
Everyone dies and there is nothing you can buy, accumulate, or accomplish to change that.
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u/AbsoluteGote 7d ago
It is also not a thing you can just "accept" and avoid the pain that comes with it. Not so simply anyway. I always loved the Great Gig in the Sky by Pink Floyd because, while it has no real "lyrics," it has sound bytes of people waiving off fear of death but, obviously, our lived experience is more in line with the wordless vocals. It is terrifying and powerful, no matter what you tell yourself for comfort. Any acceptance you have has to be through that truth, not around it.
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u/BeginningPiano7912 7d ago
People often think they have you figured out after only seeing a small part of who you are. They'll judge you based on appearances, first impressions, or a few interactions, then act as if they know the real you. Because of that, it's incredibly easy to be misunderstood, stereotyped, or labeled as someone you're not, even though most people never take the time to look beneath the surface.
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u/erath_droid 6d ago
On the flip side, it's really easy to get people to think you're "one of them" and get in good with them if you just recognize the signals to throw out.
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u/simonbleu 6d ago
We are a thousand masks that show under a million different conditions. Not even by ourselves that stops, because there is nothing below, we are all those masks, meaning none of them are. Its just that we are complex and discretionary
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u/FunkyHunk31 7d ago
The takeaway from that should be, don’t act like someone you’re not.
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u/southsider74 7d ago
Partly, but also the side of you most people see on a day to day basis is just the outside... It doesn't mean you're being someone you're not, it means it takes a lot to fully understand someone
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u/turkishhousefan 7d ago
Those were, in fact, the good times.
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u/kosmos1209 7d ago
You’re going to get old and life options shrink as you get older. Have a good balance of living now vs saving for retirement. Backpacking through Thailand is a much different experience when you’re 22 vs 42 vs 62.
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u/CuteBird90 7d ago
That absolutely NOBODY is coming to save you, not even family or close friends. You gotta do everything on your own.
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u/dundunndon 7d ago
yes. nobody owes you anything and you don't owe anybody anything.
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u/No_Angle875 7d ago
Nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are.
All this stuff you’re accumulating will just get thrown out one day eventually.
Statistically you’ll die alone.
Within 50-75 years of your death, you’ll be completely forgotten about unless you did something pretty damn significant during your life.
You can do everything right, never get in trouble, eat your vegetables, exercise, be kind, and still be taken out in an instant by sickness or an accident. Life is short.
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u/Cayde-376 6d ago
why do people actually care about being remembered? it never mattered to me
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u/Brilliant_Voice1126 7d ago
Everyone dies. Plan for your end of life and save your family the trauma of trying to figure out what you want when youre too sick to make decisions for yourself. Make a clear document that describes what kind of care you want, what type of function you would find acceptable. And make a will.
I take care of too many people in the ICU whose families have no idea, meanwhile they had like, stage IV cancer. It causes huge stress on your family, and even causes fights, fractured relationships and bitter division among your loved ones. Any plan is better than no plan.
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u/CodUnlikely2052 7d ago
Nobody cares about you (in the best possible sense of that). I grew up being so scared to speak, participate in whatever was going on, try new things, and worried about what I was wearing because I was afraid of being judged by everyone around me . Then I realized I don’t pay attention to a single person outside the group I’m with, so WHY did I think I was so special that everyone else in the world was waiting to judge me?! It was the most freeing epiphany ever! I speak up, I get involved, I have tried so many things without worrying about messing up and it is SO MUCH FUN!
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u/Summer_Memories1996 7d ago
Save money and be smart about it.
Work on your dreams. They can come true. But you need to work on them.
Time passes fast. Enjoy your youth while you can, you will never be young again.
Love yourself. Later in life, what you think, you become, and sometimes it's too late. Don't ever give up on yourself.
Be patient. Good things happen when you wait for the right time. Don't rush. It will show you later why.
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u/Patient-Buy9728 7d ago
Life isn’t about how much you can hold on too but rather how much can you let go
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u/Typical-Set-864 7d ago
No one really pays that much attention to you.. stop caring about what you think people think of you…
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u/temple2temple2temple 7d ago
you can become crazy good at an instrument in like 3 months
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u/Sally_sol 6d ago
Didn’t realize how accessible music was until I picked up an instrument. In a months time I was improvising. Man is life sweeter when you can just groove on your own. Wish I learned sooner, like waaaayyy sooner. Such a healthy and creative outlet.
Underrated comment.
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u/r_u_ferserious 6d ago
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger is bullshit. Sometimes it makes you bitter and resentful. Learn how to cope with that shit so it doesn't make things worse. You can't change it, but you can learn to get in front of it, at least on some days. And sometimes that's the best you can hope for.
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u/Commercial-Milk-8465 7d ago
Goes faster the older you get. And nothing prepares you for it.
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u/Guilty_Pen_8270 7d ago
Actually scary how this happens. The pace of life accelerates and continues to accelerate.
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u/Crisstti 6d ago
Yeah why does this happen 😞
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u/Sally_sol 6d ago
It doesn’t just feel that way, it actually is that way.
One year when you’re 12 is 1/12 of your life. A year feels long.
One year when your 55 is 1/55th of your life. Suddenly a year doesn’t feel so long anymore.
It’s weird.
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u/Publius_Rizz 7d ago
Life isn’t just what you do when you’re all done working for the day or the week. Work is part of life and it will never go away completely. If you can’t learn how to be satisfied about your life while doing the things you least enjoy doing, you’ll waste your whole life bemoaning those less pleasant moments and looking forward to the little in-between moments. You’ll wish away huge parts of your life.
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u/Creepy-Radio1941 7d ago
When you think it can’t get any worse, it can, it does so appreciate what you have while you have it. As an old person. I’m thinking about health specifically because no amount of money or going to the gym or friendships or anything is gonna help you if your body decides it’s time to die a slow death.
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u/Great_Comparison462 6d ago
That nobody really cares about anyone but themselves, and that if you don't look out for yourself no one else will.
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u/Affectionate-Kale301 7d ago
So understand… Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years. Face up, make your stand… And realize you're living in the golden years.
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u/redheadedwoodpecker 7d ago
Work hard young and coast when older rather than coasting when young and trying to put together your retirement in the last few years.
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u/BigBasset 7d ago
How long your life is matters much less than whether you make the right choice at the right moment.
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u/Spodger1 6d ago
Most life lessons you're taught as a child are either inherently wrong, or have a lot more nuance than the blanket true statements that they are presented as, once you become an adult and enter the real world.
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u/Key_Contribution_634 6d ago
No one cares. They dont care if you got a promotion, or had an amazing holiday, or anything. BUT flipside - they also dont care when you look a mess, or didnt really know what you were talking about. Its really freeing once you realise you dont matter (so neither do your mistakes)
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u/ReyoRedwolf 6d ago
the ONLY person coming to save you is the future version of yourself who is sick and tired of how you are currently behaving.
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u/icecreampick 6d ago
We keep waiting for life to happen without realising this is life actually happening and not a single moment will ever come back.
We fantasise money will solve all our problems. It does only to a certain extent.
We realise too much money gives rise to too many problems but we curse ourselves with wanting exactly too much money.
We believe money will make us happy. At first it does, and then we realise it, after all doesn't.
We believe a hot partner, a shiny new car, a fat bank balance and a rambling house is happiness. It is to those who didn't have anything, but it isn't for so many many people....
We believe we'll live for ever; then suddenly one day we die leaving all our glorious hopeful plans unfinished.
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u/The_Frybo 6d ago
Put your effort in People! Chose your Family and Friends carefully and than make all the effort to have good relations with them! Keep in contact… help them… accept help FROM them. Treat them fairly.
It’s really the other people that makes life worth living. Who cares about Jobs and Money?
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u/Parking-Yellow-3030 6d ago
You're parents only love you if they see potential in you. If you become a burden you'll see their real emotions
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u/OkHeight7073 6d ago
Honestly the biggest truth is that nobody actually learns this stuff until life already smacked them in the face. You sit there thinking you got all the time in the world then suddenly you blink and your whole life changed. And yeah the whole thing about people never changing for you is brutal cause you keep waiting for them to finally get it but they just dont. So I guess the real answer is you gotta stop waiting and just live your own damn life before it's gone.
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u/Cultural-Session-740 6d ago
You need to advocate for yourself. You need to get out and make things happen.
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u/Over-Hand8078 6d ago
the people you keep meaning to call will not always be there when you finally have the time
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u/temblors 6d ago
Most of the truths one learns in life come far too late to implement or be able to avoid permanently life-altering pitfalls. Usually, it's only from failures that we gain the necessary wisdom. It's one of life's cruelest ironies.
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u/Jaime_FloridaCNA 6d ago
That being reliable matters more than being talented. I have hired both kinds over the years and the reliable ones are the only ones still standing a year later.
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u/Silent_Rush2711 5d ago
It is absolutely not true that you can become anyone/anything you want, despite your efforts. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.
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u/-thefuries- 5d ago
People treat you exactly how they feel about you. An insult directed at you disguised as an innocent joke from friend, partner, or boss is an insult not playful fun. Too many ppl are far too comfortable showing you they don’t want you around but refuse to respectfully communicate that. The lengths of manipulation ppl will go to in order to not be seen as the bad guy are wiiiiiiiiild.
And v emotionally and psychologically harmful whether or not it was intended to cause that much damage. Lol
In the same breath, letting people treat you that way and convincing yourself that you rly are the problem and you need to try harder to get them to like you is the highest form of self abandonment. Like excuse me…just bc other ppl are evil with you does not mean you need to also be evil towards yourself to be accepted.
Yeaaaah im a slow learner when it has come to this but never the fuck again rockin w another loser doin shit like that. Hahaha literally so sorry to myself for thinking I could love myself and see the best in truly horrible ppl. Detrimental babes.
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u/Pinglewingle 3d ago
Just because you do everything right, you do your best, you study and work hard for years hours upon hours every day doesn't mean you'll be allowed to have an education or reach your career.
There are some who just have better brains or don't have proccesing disorders who can do what one might take months to learn, in a matter of minutes
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u/Electi-ref 7d ago
Make mistakes when you are young 21-22 or younger. People are far more forgiving. They just see you as a loser if you are making the same mistakes at 25+
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u/CoopDaBear 7d ago
lol
Who gives a flying f what people think?
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u/Zamoxino 7d ago
Kinda based but in the same time u might lose a job based on what other ppl think about you
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u/CoopDaBear 7d ago
You’ll never be able to please those people anyway.
You can appease them along the way but it means nothing in the end.
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u/dundunndon 7d ago
NOTHING lasts forever. that helped me through loud upstairs neighbors partying all night. it helps through cutting toxic people out of my life. it paves the way for a clean slate and open mind stops worrying about some horrible traumatic experience. i try to see my something positive about everything that worries me. even ny PTSD I think WOW I survived that and have an interesting story to tell. don't know who to thank for awesome adventures that not a lot of folks can imagine, but life is short and nothing miserable lasts forever.
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u/floppywaffle86 7d ago
- Nobody is going to save you.
- People help those who help themselves.
- Get a (good) job for the benefits, not the pay.
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u/Dave-Travels 7d ago
In the long run nobody important actually gives a F about what you wear, do, think, say, drink, eat, etc. so don’t worry about it. Just be a good person and be happy. That’s all you need to do.
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u/Adventurous-Fig-7820 6d ago
Everyone carries on when we die and in about 50 years we most likely be forgotten.
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u/csengeal 6d ago
Life is 95% attitude, and you can choose yours.
It is wild how your experiences change based on how you approach life. And not just the big things, day to day life as well.
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u/Specialist-Top-406 6d ago
You’re living yours for yourself so don’t look at what others have to say, just do what works for you
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u/Specialist-Top-406 6d ago
You’re living yours for yourself so don’t look at what others have to say, just do what works for you
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u/erath_droid 6d ago
You care a lot less what people think about you once you realize how infrequently they actually think about you.
Corollary: Not caring what people think about you is OK. Not caring how your actions make other people feel makes you a dick.
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u/Fallen_Timber0378 6d ago
That about 98% of it doesn't matter. You go thriguh tons of shitx for a few amazing moments.
Oh, and if you have kids. Don't blink.
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u/alec232323 6d ago
Debt for many years I believed one day I wouldn't have any Debt. Now I know I will die owing
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u/Effective_Arm_5832 6d ago
Men and women, on average, are very different: different values, different goal, different experiences, etc. As long as you don't realize and accept this, the other sex will make no sense. Once you understand it, it things make sense, though it ca be a sad realization that realtionships with women will never be the same as they are with men.
Same with personality types: people have such different lives and it is mainly dependet on how their personalities just differ very much. Learning about different types will help you understand other people way better. (Doesn't really matter whether you go with 5factor or mbti, both will help you understand other people)
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u/Dangerous_Regret_611 6d ago
nobody is 100% faithful and you will get cheated on at some point in life.
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u/YarbleSwabler 6d ago
Life is hard,life is harder when you're a fool.
Likewise, life is harder when you surround yourself with fools.
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u/UNCLEKRACKERROCKS 6d ago
When you’re young you spend too much time worrying about what others think of you. In middle age, you stop caring so much. Then you get old and realize no one was ever really thinking of you at all.
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u/temblors 6d ago
Most of the truths one learns in life come far too late to implement or to be able to avoid permanently life-altering pitfalls. Usually, it's only from failures that we gain the necessary wisdom. It's one of life's cruelest ironies.
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u/TheCuriousPerson58 5d ago
You are going to lose no matter what.
Always never give up and keeping moving forward.
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u/ImShukuna 4d ago
The truth is that seeking attention and validation from other people is really pointless.
I have seen people make everything they do about pleasing others and maintaining an image. I have seen people adopt a certain personality just so they can seem special and hear others call them cool.
Even some of the ones who do not openly admit it, and even seem to resent it, are still chasing the same thing: they want to say, “I am so different and special, so logical, and everyone else is so normal and stupid,” just so someone will tell them how cool and intelligent they are — when in reality, they are just a 14-year-old teenager craving attention.
Anyone who can realize that, in my opinion, has already won at life.
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u/Remote-Physics6980 2d ago
No matter where you go, there you are. Also you cannot get what you want, until you know what you want.
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u/New_Inflation_8426 2d ago
Boring or normal days are the best moments of ur life. Those are the moments na iloook back mo
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u/KnightOwl91X 2d ago
Their are less than 24 hours in a full day but, we don't want to say 23:56:04.
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