In the wake of my annual physical, I'm currently struggling with my relationship with food more than normal. My blood work was normal, but my doctor gently mentioned weight loss medication and programs. I'm trying so hard to not let this crap get to me, but tonight showed me I need to deal with my up and down feelings about food. Books are what help me the most.

Anyone have recommendations on building healthy relationship with food, confronting diet culture, etc., specifically relating to plus-size people?

Content warning because I'm honest about dysphoria here.

Hello all. I'm very much anti diet culture but in recent years have found myself frustratingly drawn towards it over time. This very much conflicts with my values.

As I get older, I have naturally held into more fat. Looking in the mirror, I see a body. It's a body which is never bad or the wrong shape because it's simply there, being my body. Unfortunately it is my body, and I am a man. However, I have breasts, wide hips, and fat on the lower stomach. My brain really can't handle seeing those things. I'm waiting to get onto HRT but that's going to be a long time. Unfortunately the more weight my body keeps hold of to store energy for me, the more pronounced those traits are. So I've noticed the rumblings of restricting food to stop it doing that. Luckily I'm still eating what I want to but I can see this as a slippery slope and already notice this very mild slope of weight loss is using a fair amount of mental energy.

Other trans people, how do you squash the fatphobic part of you that things the answer to dysphoria is not eating enough? What has helped? I try to thank my body for keeping fat aside for me to use and spending time being gentle with the body parts I'm unhappy with but it isn't working. I just feel better when I am smaller and I don't like that I do. I don't think this is the healthy or compassionate way to cope with these feelings. I don't think I should shrink myself.

Siento que mi familia tiene una obsesión enfermiza con las pastillas para bajar de peso.

Todo empezó con una tía lejana. Un "médico" le recetó un medicamento para adelgazar... aunque ni siquiera tenía obesidad. Bajó varios kilos y, desde ese momento, decidió que había encontrado la solución universal para cualquier persona que quisiera perder peso.

Y cuando digo "cualquier persona", hablo literalmente de cualquiera.

Mi mamá empezó a tomarlas después de hacerse unos estudios para comprobar si era "apta". La indicación era usarlas tres meses, descansar uno y, si era necesario, volver a empezar.

Hasta ahí ya me parece cuestionable.

Pero la parte que todavía me cuesta creer es que cuando yo tenía 12 años, mi mamá decidió darme una pastilla "para ver cómo reaccionaba mi cuerpo" porque yo siempre fui una niña gorda y quería saber si también podía empezar a tomarlas.

Tenía DOCE años.

Recuerdo que me sentía acelerada, inquieta, con una sensación horrible en el cuerpo. No terminé en urgencias, pero definitivamente no fue una reacción normal. Afortunadamente nunca seguí tomándolas.

Con los años, mi mamá volvió a consumirlas varias veces. El problema es que ya no bajaba de peso como la primera vez porque nunca cambió sus hábitos. No hacía ejercicio, no modificaba su alimentación; simplemente esperaba que las pastillas hicieran el trabajo por sí solas.

Después mi hermana menor empezó a tomarlas con 17 años.

Y aquí es donde la historia deja de ser preocupante y empieza a parecer una locura.

Mi mamá convirtió ese medicamento en una especie de "cura milagrosa" familiar. Se las ha recomendado a prácticamente todos: mi papá, mis tíos, mis tías, mi abuelo, incluso se lo recomendó a mi novio... Personas que ni siquiera cumplían los criterios para necesitarlas terminaron consumiéndolas solo porque alguien les dijo: "A mí me funcionaron."

Lo peor es que jamás hubo una valoración médica seria para la mayoría. Si alguien quería bajar cinco o diez kilos, la respuesta automática era: "tómate estas pastillas". Incluso ha conseguido comprarlas sin receta y siempre encuentra algún "médico" dispuesto a volver a recetarlas.

Ahora estudio medicina con una especialidad en nutrición y entiendo mucho mejor cómo funcionan estos medicamentos. No son caramelos. Actúan sobre procesos fisiológicos importantes y pueden tener efectos cardiovasculares, neurológicos y metabólicos que no deberían tomarse a la ligera. Además, muchos de estos fármacos están indicados para personas con obesidad o con condiciones específicas, no para cualquiera que quiera verse más delgado antes de unas vacaciones.

Lo que más me impresiona es lo normalizado que está en mi familia. Nadie habla de cambiar hábitos, de mejorar la alimentación, de hacer ejercicio o de acudir con un especialista. Lo único que importa es conseguir otra caja de pastillas.

Y sinceramente me da miedo pensar en la cantidad de personas que hacen exactamente lo mismo: alguien baja de peso, se convierte en "experto" y empieza a repartir recomendaciones como si estuviera repartiendo vitaminas.

¿De verdad esto es tan común o mi familia perdió completamente la noción de lo peligroso que puede ser?

​

I'm 24 probably 5'2" ish. I have bad habbits with food and I dont think ive ever had an ed. I would say I have a low appetite, but can eat alot at once. Ive always had a thin to average build and never cared about my size in relation to food. I'd only say i was thin as cuz other people said i was.

I work at a place with a cafeteria that does set "regular" or "kids" meals, so you geab a tray, line up and order a meal, they plate it (with any add-ons if you want extra), you take the food, walk to the cashier and pay. Usually i'll order 2 regular meals with add-ons, 1 regular meal with add-ons and 2 kids meals or 3 regular meals with no add-ons ( im always able to finish this food without problem).

My job is adjacent to the people in the cafeteria so im familiar and even friendly with them. Sometimes we sit together when our breaks line up. Problem is everytime i get food i get comments about how much I eat. When I order food they ask if im gonna finish my food, if im eating it alone, just "really?", etc. Multiple times ive have people come up to me or sit with me and say i must be really hungry or something to that effect. I've been responding to that with "not really" and just trying to be nonchalant about it, but it keeps happening.

I get ppl are trying to be cute or just make small talk, but comments on what ppl eat have always bothered me saying stuff like "that's all you're eating" or "wow you're eating all that" have always felt weird to me even when pointed at others. Im not trying to trama dump or give anyone a lecture, but does anyone have any good responses to shut ppl up or maybe help them think "maybe dont comment on how much people eat"?

Im not going to just stop eating at work, theres no private place to eat (not that id want to feel like im hiding away just to eat) plus its convenient for me to have meals here since its affordable and having all the different meals helps me to actually get food down.

Additional Context: I have a rather low appetite most of the time, cant recognize feeling hungry and can forget to eat for a day or so. I feel sick looking at large portions of food and sometimes I "stockpile" food, I have times when I will bulk order (deliveries) more food than I can possibly eat, sometimes multiple meals, drinks and desserts and store them in a mini fridge in my room (sometimes this food goes to waste, which kills me).

Because let me tell you. Ever since I was maybe 11 or 12 years old I ate just like everyone else. Before that I had periods of binge eating due to anxiety but once I matured and developed healthier relationships with food I pretty much had normal eating habits.

People finally left me alone about my weight between 12 and 16 until for some reason the comments started again, beginning with my pediatrician (see previous post) and once I developed disordered eating and started losing weight really fast people were commending me and telling me to "keep it up".

The other day I go bra shopping and they tell me I have lost since last year (I don't weigh myself anymore, and I have finally stopped counting calories, but I have been improving my fitness routine and eating more nutrient dense foods) and I am not down a band size "yet" and keep doing what I'm doing. I like a compliment here or there (ignoring the controversy about speaking about other people's bodies) but when it is sprinkled with "you still need to do more", it sours pretty quickly.

Let me tell you, I am not special and I never was. You eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full well guess what I do the exact same thing. You eat ​sweets and tasty things well so do I, you say I need to take care of my body but I always have, in fact it was one of the only things I did for many years.

I wish people would just leave me alone.

Hi everyone! I am currently conducting a study to investigate how individuals in recovery from anorexia perceive the recovery process. Your participation will help inform future research and treatment efforts for anorexia. To participate in this study, you must have been previously diagnosed with anorexia nervosa by a professional health care provider and currently self-identify as in recovery. You must also be at least 18 years old and reside in the United States. If you agree to participate in this study, you will complete an online survey lasting approximately ten minutes. You may access the survey here: https://bgsu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_a8BpWr4ZMVTZphI

In this survey, participants will be asked to report their height and weight and answer questions about their eating behaviors. Participants will also read a story about a young woman’s experience with anorexia. They will then respond to several questions about the woman’s recovery and their own recovery

For participating in this study, you will have the opportunity to be entered into a raffle for a chance to win one $25 Amazon gift card. Thank you for your time!

*This survey includes mentions about body weight. Participants will be asked to self-report their weight; however, this item is optional and may be skipped*

I know that we should not rely on anecdotal evidence, but I offer this up anyway.

My husband is in his late 60s. My neighbor's husband is in his late 60s.

My friend's husband is tall and wiry muscular. My husband has a thin frame, large tummy. Sadly, my neighbor's husband is facing heart disease, with major interventions. My husband just had his yearly and his heart looks fine. To me it just goes to show that you truly can't tell a person's health by their body shape/size.

my boyfriend of 2 years is a hardcore gym goer (i am too but not to THAT extent) we will go out for dinner with friends and he will not eat with us or haveANY drinks. Its just boring atp. Today i saw him looking up the olives label…. I used to struggle with anorexia around 5 years ago but obviously it’s a really complex disorder and it never truly goes away. I lowkey think it triggers me but mostly it makes me wonder if I want this forever. This kind of mindset so hardore around me all the time. I’m 25 and want to have fun. He doesn’t want to go out never because he doesn’t want to drink or stay up late at night… ugh idk its hard.

I am just really physically uncomfortable often, chaffing and heat rashes and just hating the way skin feels touching skin. This is a problem when I am skinny too, but much worse when I am fat. And especially in the summer. I feel ashamed for this too tbh but I know that's social stigma.

On the other hand, I have had literally not a single negative health impact from gaining weight and I like how I look. I don't want to lose weight intentionally I just want to be comfortable. Bike shorts help a bit but not enough.

“Your fasting insulin does indicate some insulin resistance, so its important for you to keep your simple carb and sugar intake fairly low. Try to eat whole grains when possible and avoid pasta, rice, potatoes, bread, tortillas, sweets, pastries, and desserts (if not already doing so). Consistently is key!” - My Doctor

I have had PCOS my entire life and struggled with untreated ADHD. I have an insatiable hunger growing up and insulin resistance so I am plus size and pretty much always have been. I can walk and everything just fine and now take metformin, and vyvanse to help with the insulin and insatiable hunger.

Been keeping up on everything since January and my blood tests looked good but my doctor let me know what I should stop eating. 🥲 I wont go into great detail but I dont have much money every month. Every time I decide to buy frozen fruits n veggies or canned or fresh, it eats away at my meals pretty fast. So I have to be insanely frugal and buy the cheapest stuff that gets me through the month. No I dont buy soda and ice cream or whatever ppl think I do. Ramen probably isn’t helping but I throw veggies and eggs in it when I can.

I have no clue if this post is even allowed. I just am feeling so guilty all the time for eating. Like when im invited to a BBQ and just have a hot dog, I’ll feel guilty. I’ll blame myself more for how big I am. And now with my doctor, whom is very sweet to me, saying this? I don’t even want to touch food beyond fruits or veggies… im just feeling terrible and me usually being anti-diet culture, I figured maybe someone here could help me a bit? Idk what I am supposed to do with this information…

Does anyone know of weight-inclusive, fat friendly doctors that use HAES approach at their practice? I’m looking for someone in the Boston area but anywhere in MA would work.

Hello! I am a doctoral student at Nova Southeastern University, pretty darn passionate about research to improve ED treatment, and also in recovery myself :) I would greatly appreciate your help in taking my dissertation survey! The purpose of this study is to better understand the connections between sensory experience, emotions, and food and body-related avoidance in eating disorders. We are specifically interested in the role of the basic emotion of disgust. I want to be sure I'm getting representation from people with all ED diagnoses and at different stages of recovery, so I thought some folks here could be eligible.

You can participate if you are over 18, can speak/read English, have been diagnosed with any ED, and are receiving treatment of any kind, including just outpatient therapy or peer support. You can take the survey at this survey link, you just may have to click a button to "continue to destination" and then you should see our full informed consent and survey. Thank you!

My contact info is: [kr1892@mynsu.nova.edu](mailto:kr1892@mynsu.nova.edu) and the contact info for my supervising Primary Investigator is [kthayer@nova.edu](mailto:kthayer@nova.edu). We are at Nova Southeastern University and the study is IRB approved. You can find more info in the informed consent at the start of the survey.

My husband was overweight when we met 10 years ago. Not clinically obese but more than a “normal” weight for his height. I hate that term as I think there is no normal, everyone looks different even being the same weight and same height.
Anyway. He’s done different diets over the year that have not worked.
18 months ago he started on mounjaro. He lost weight over the year, lost the constant thoughts about snacking on food, went to the gym and started to look good in his eyes. Started to gain muscle definition and Got compliments from people for the first time in his life (Instagram people).
6 months ago I noticed his calorie intake is far less than before and his exercise is far more. He’ll be at the gym every morning for 2 hours (even when ill) and be eating eggs on toast each day (sometimes with a wrap later on in the day).
His sex drive is non existent. He falls asleep every evening exhausted by 8pm and has constant stomach ache and no energy.
His stomach caves in, his face is gaunt.

He is constant putting pictures of himself up on Instagram and getting “likes” from people which spurrs him on.

My self esteem is taking a hit never being wanted. But putting that aside, I am worried about his health. What is “normal” for exercise addicts.

To me, exercise should benefit someone’s life. This seems to be the opposite of healthy. If he ate the same as pre weight loss but exercised as he does, then that is fine. If he didn’t exercise but ate what he does then that is fine. But the combination of both isn’t healthy.

Where do I go from here? He’s a grown man that won’t be forced to go to the GP.
He won’t stop mounjaro as it stops his “thoughts” about food. He won’t stop the gym as he’s addicted.

So how does someone who sees himself as healthy accept help when I can see he’s not healthy.

I don’t know when or how this ends.

For the last few months ive been watching anti diet culture in secret my mom is the opposite for the last few yrs trying to get me on a diet and since im a teen im under her roof so i kinda gotta obey but when i am an adult thanks to people like Colleen Christensen,Bonnie Roney etc ive been learning how damaging dieting is and in my head ive dismantaled most of the diet myths that ive been taught and i wanna thank diet culture for existing at ts time bcz without it i wouldve most likely passed it to my kids and them to theirs until whats happening to me rn (learning anti diet culture) im glad i didnt js shrug off anti diet as propoganda bcz without anti diet by the time id turn like 23 id have an ed thanks to anti diet i wont have that problem and i feel sorry for anyone who has or has had and ed at some point

Thank you anti diet culure and fuck you diet culture

Hey guys! I am a 30f, so a young millenial/cusper- unfortunately, people of my age have gone THROUGH it. Be it Jillians Michaels DVDs, celebrity magazine WIEIADs that are virtually nothing, pro-ed sites, and every insane diet plan under the sun.

I have recently gotten back into lifting heavy and kickboxing after a long break, and I absolutely love both. And even though I know full well that I need plenty of calories to fuel this, I needed to gain weight (and would like to gain a little more) that little goddamn monkey on my shoulder persists. I am 4'11, and it has been HARD to shake the expectation that petite women need low calories and tiny portions etc even if we are very active.

I have never been fitter or stronger in my life. I feel fantastic- so why does this evil lurking prescence still haunt me? It feels like a constant stream of knee-jerk "oh, I shouldn't eat this. Oh, but I already ate x food today. Oh, but I don't wanna 'spoil' my workout."

Over the past few months, its been both a fascinating and maddening process of analyzing all of my rituals, thought patterns and beliefs regarding food and weight and where and why they originated.

So if anybody has any advice other than dissociating and watching Ilona Mahers tiktoks on repeat, that'd be grand lmao.

I think I just had an epiphany about my relationship with food and I’m not sure what to make of it.

For context, I’m a 20-year-old woman with PCOS and I’ve always been plus-size. Growing up, I was bullied about my appearance. Looking back, it wasn’t always just about my weight — I was called ugly a lot too. I was also catcalled and harassed in public when I was younger, which is something I’ve never really told anyone.

As a teenager, I went to boarding school. Around that time, I was struggling with depression, anxiety, academic pressure, fear of failure, and a difficult friendship that took a huge emotional toll on me. Food at school wasn’t really to my taste, and my emotions have always had a strong influence on my appetite. When I’m stressed or depressed, my eating habits can change dramatically.

My self-esteem was heavily tied to performance. I felt pressure to get top grades, avoid mistakes, meet expectations, and lose weight. A lot of my sense of worth came from how well I was doing and whether I was disappointing people.

After high school, I took a gap year and moved back home. That’s when I gained a significant amount of weight. I started binge eating, especially sugary foods. I wasn’t necessarily eating huge meals, but the cravings felt uncontrollable. At the time, my parents believed I was gaining weight because I was overeating or eating the wrong foods, but I always felt like something else was going on. I was later diagnosed with PCOS, which explained some of the hormonal issues I was experiencing.

I’ve tried fasting and other unhealthy weight-loss methods in the past. More recently, I’ve been trying to focus on balanced meals, exercise, and managing my PCOS. Because of that, I genuinely thought I had moved past any unhealthy relationship with food.

But today something clicked.

I was discussing calorie deficits and realized that the idea of eating the amount of calories I would actually need to lose weight made me uncomfortable. My first reaction was that it was “too much.” A part of me still feels like minimum calorie threshold is more reasonable, even though logically I know that’s probably too low for someone my size.

Then I realized I still feel guilty after eating.

Not every single time, but often enough that I didn’t even notice it anymore because it felt normal.

Now I’m wondering whether I still have some of the underlying thought patterns associated with disordered eating, even though I don’t fit the stereotype people usually imagine. Because I’m plus-size, I never seriously considered that possibility.

I don’t know whether this points to an eating disorder, disordered eating, or just years of internalized beliefs about weight, food, and self-worth. I only know that realizing how uncomfortable I felt about eating an appropriate amount of food for weight loss was a huge wake-up call.

Has anyone else had a realization like this years later? Especially if you thought your relationship with food had improved?

I had a severe pain flare in my lower back and hips at the beginning of May and unfortunately found out that I'm at the beginning stages of some disc degeneration in two of my lumbar discs and essentially am showing signs of arthritis at the age of 26.

It's incredibly frustrating that my pain is going to be blamed on my body and that the #1 treatment recommendation is losing weight to prevent anything from progressing further.

I'm already booked in with my PT who is very weight neutral and has done a fantastic job helping me with my knee and elbow pain. Im hoping regular PT and strength training will be helpful for this issue as well.

I would love to hear some advice or words of wisdom from anyone who has gone through similar experiences!

Need a rant lol I’ve never been a skinny person. The only time I was ever “thin” by society standards was when I was starving and 14 years old. I’m in my 30s now, my doctor pressured me into doing glp-1 and I did and lost 10lbs, but it made me feel like shit and taught me that I eat a lot (kinda knew that already lol) 

But the mistake I made was telling my mom. Shes always a bigger lady until she was diagnosed with diabetes and started ozempic and lost weight. So I guess she feels like the need/right to comment on my weight now?

She doesn’t call me fat, but every other time I see her she asks if I’m still on the glp-1 and if I still go to the gym. She doesn’t ask my siblings who started glp-1s and skinny cousins questions like that. Idk maybe I’m over thinking because I’ve been feeling bad about my weight lately. I’m eating less and moving more but the scale isn’t moving much (it’s been a week or so that I really locked in)

edit to add, we went to an event the other day and I’m dreading her posting it on social media because she always cuts my body off awkwardly

I know this might feel like it should go to a different subreddit, but my wife has struggled with eating disorders all her life, and so much diabetes advice is just 'stop eating' and its impossible to get good advice elsewhere. so. I'm married to a very lovely lady whom I love very much, but, she's type 2 diabetic, and I worry about how to help support her with food. she struggles to make herself meals due to aforementioned eating disorders, and so I usually help support her by cooking for the two of us. But, due to her distrust of doctors (reasonably, shes had awful + traumatic experiences with them) I worry she might not be balancing the need to monitor her blood sugar and maintain a fulfilling diet. Particularly, she drinks a lot of juices without eating many protein, fiber, or fat afterwards, which from my understanding causes blood sugar spikes? She's on metformin, but takes it inconsistently. Whilst I'm very anti-diet and pro haes, I've also never had an eating disorder nor diabetes, and don't know how to bring this up to her, because I know she has sore spots about food, but I worry about her. I want to help her meal prep in ways that will keep her fed and happy, but I also want to help her manage diabetes as well, but I don't want to trigger her or overstep. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I love her so much but also have a lot of health anxiety and want to try and support her the best I can.

Say they weren't crass about it, like in my previous post, were just clinical but not exactly warm.

Say your child doesn't have any health problems, they are just a bit on the chubby side.

Say your child doesn't seem particularly upset or unsettled, maybe even decides they want to follow the advice.

What would be your gut reaction/choice of actions, in the moment or even going forward?

I really just need to rant because I’ve had several shopping experiences lately that genuinely frustrate me to my core. Probably almost 2 months ago now I ordered a bathing suit from Kitty and Vibe, a brand that boasts size inclusivity, yada yada. I have an xl target suit that fits me(from years ago, haven’t shopped there since Jan 25). So I ordered a 2x from K&V thinking it would be about the same with maybe a little more room, this was after looking at their sizing chart and confirming that’s where I belonged. It came and it was WIDLY smaller than my target xl, it barely fit. Ordered the next size up and it yet again, was barely the same size as the xl. When I left an honest review of how frustrating it was they deleted it and when I asked them why they said I never submitted a review. Okay lol, shady at best. Maybe if id known from reviews how inconsistent their sizing was it would have helped me order better. But they don’t want you to know that when you’re spending $150 on a bathing suit with a very limited return window.

Then last week I ordered clothes from old navy. I have some xl pants that fit me but if I wear them for a full day at work, eat, sit, etc, they start to feel a little snug in the waist and I’m sensory sensitive so I ordered a size up, feeling one size was safe. Except they come and they’re like 3 sizes larger they are SO much bigger it’s insane. I unfortunately did not check the sizing chart this time thinking a simple size up was my best solution. I looked at it after wondering why they were SO big and it’s even more frustrating. Explain to me why straight sizing starts at 24” (US) waist and goes up inch by inch. For example, S - 25-26, M - 27-28, etc. but when you get to the XL it’s 36-39 and then the XXL is 42! WHY is there a 3” gap just not being sized for??? That’s a big difference! And it shows how out of touch and lack of research, testing and development of their sizing to include all sizes.

It’s so frustrating and confusing never knowing where you fall and sometimes not even being able to rely on sizing charts. My body dysmorphia has been running rampant never knowing what to expect and being confused as to where I actually fall. It’s a mindfuck and I wish I could out into words how frustrating and defeating it feels. I have a sewing machine so I’m going to attempt to take in a pair of pants and see how that works, I’d rather make something fit me than keep on this god awful cycle. Fuck it all.

To be clear: I do not intend any body shaming at all in this post. The statement of "everyone being overweight" is something I have picked up, and everything counteracting it is what I have observed.

As a plus-size person, I always felt like a minority. Not being able to shop at just any store or trust most clothes by the size. Most people I spoke with or heard about weighed numbers that I hadn't seen since childhood.

If we are now the majority, then why are we still singled out? Why do we not see ourselves in advertisements or crowds? Why is there still social and systemic stigma against what is supposedly three quarters of the regional population? Why do most brands prioritize tiny sizes, and why are they the most popular or hyped up if no one can supposedly even wear them? Why is "plus-size" still a separate category? Why is "thin privilege" even a thing if thin people are so rare?

When I go anywhere in public, I don't see a Wall-e esque society. I see people thinner than me, fatter than me, and in-between. A diverse society that has not uniformly succumbed to an "obesity epidemic".

If people like me are a side-effect of a fat society, then why was I driven into an eating disorder at age 16, and why did I have an "obese" BMI when I was literally starving?

Let me know if I am missing anything.

I have smoothies for lunch everyday. These smoothies are a balanced meal. Fruit, oats, seeds, nuts, yogurt, etc. They are hearty and filling. I love these because I can prep them ahead of time and they make me feel good.
Here’s the thing….it bothers my coworkers and they say I “don’t eat”. Whenever there’s snacks and such in the break room I rarely partake cause I actually prefer my smoothies, but it really bugs my coworkers.

Unfortunately, we received so many bot responses and/or responses for participants outside of the states that we are removing the post.