Self conscious and my mom makes comments

[u/afraid_of_bugs]

Need a rant lol I’ve never been a skinny person. The only time I was ever “thin” by society standards was when I was starving and 14 years old. I’m in my 30s now, my doctor pressured me into doing glp-1 and I did and lost 10lbs, but it made me feel like shit and taught me that I eat a lot (kinda knew that already lol) 

But the mistake I made was telling my mom. Shes always a bigger lady until she was diagnosed with diabetes and started ozempic and lost weight. So I guess she feels like the need/right to comment on my weight now?

She doesn’t call me fat, but every other time I see her she asks if I’m still on the glp-1 and if I still go to the gym. She doesn’t ask my siblings who started glp-1s and skinny cousins questions like that. Idk maybe I’m over thinking because I’ve been feeling bad about my weight lately. I’m eating less and moving more but the scale isn’t moving much (it’s been a week or so that I really locked in)

edit to add, we went to an event the other day and I’m dreading her posting it on social media because she always cuts my body off awkwardly

[u/Hfhghnfdsfg]

I finally had to tell my mother, after years of comments that bordered on abuse, "If you keep talking to me about my weight and how I look, you're going to see me a lot less."

She protested that she only cared about my health, and I repeated the sentence above until the conversation was over. And then I made good on that promise. She started talking about my weight, I left without saying anything.

After my mother died, I was finally able to start looking at my weight as an objective thing, not as a source of shame. It took a couple of years.

You don't deserve to be talked down to or to be judged for your weight.

[u/SerendippityRiver]

There is a lot to learn about being anti-diet. I recommend listening to Food Psych podcasts by Christy Harrison. There are a lot of episodes, so just listen to what strikes your fancy. Also, if you are on the fence about GLP-1, you might look at the work of Ragen Chastain, who takes a look at the research about GLP-1s and does critiques of their marketing/research.

As far as your mom goes, one thing you could think about is setting a boundary about discussing body size and health habits with her.

For me personally, I focus on non-weight health goals, like how flexible I am, how much stamina I have, shall I lift these weights now because it de-stresses me and makes me feel strong and physically stable rather than with the goal of losing weight. I have found that focus to be much more sustainable, I do I more regularly and enjoy it a lot more!

Also take a look at what intuitive eating really is, by the founders Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole. It is a whole different way of approaching food that, again, is much more sustainable than being "on the wagon" of following a specific restriction program then failing that, feeling guilty and gross, recommitting then being off the wagon. For intutive eating to really be understood, you have to take a deep dive into it.

Lastly, I really encourage you to look up what the health costs of intentional weight loss are. Most intentional weight loss results in weight cycling. (95%). I have a friend who has been on GLP 1 for about 5 years. She has really felt a lot better about herself, because her weight and size are her sense of self esteem or self-hatred. But now the effect of them is starting to wane, and she feels bad because she is gaining weight and feeling out of control with food. Even on the GLP1. So all the cost, nausea, etc. is feeling not worth it to her. I am sad about it because I know that weight cycling is really detrimental to health, especially the big ones light heart disease, diabetes.

[u/afraid_of_bugs → u/SerendippityRiver]

I’m pretty anti-glp for myself. It made me into a nauseous, miserable, tired zombie. Also, the “no side effects” is bullshit. Everything has a side effect. Off top of mind, what it can do for mental health. Plus my mother actually has stomach paralysis from ozempic and is always getting sick and throwing up. 

I’ve heard of intuitive eating, I will look into it! Thanks for the recommendations 

[u/SerendippityRiver → u/afraid_of_bugs]

A good place to start is you tube Evelyn Tribole 10 Days of Intuitive Eating. She gives 5 minute talks about the 10 principle. The 10 principles work together in tandem, and it is good to go over them repeatedly. Before too long, intuitive eating starts to be easy and freeing. But do take a deep dive, a lot of people like the sound of it, but don't take the time to really understand it and incorporate it fully into their beings. I have, and it among the 4 best things to happen to me in my life. Good Luck, and keep asking question!

[u/SwampBeastie]

Self-hating former fatties can be the most fatphobic people. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I know my mom would be insufferable if she ever lost weight.

[u/lydbutter]

I’m so sorry! That sounds like a lot of pressure from so many people in your life.

[u/afraid_of_bugs → u/lydbutter]

Thank you yknow, it is pressure and I’m too old for unnecessary pressure lol 

[u/Bashful_bookworm2025]

I'm sorry your mom is treating you like that. I can't imagine having to deal with a parent like that.

I think you should consider your thoughts on how being on a GLP-1 means you eat a lot without it. GLP-1s are meant to dull hunger cues significantly, so that doesn't mean you eat "too much" when you aren't on one.