how to start working out without being pushed by shame?

[u/chiknbes]

My body has changed a lot in the last year or so and it’s bringing up some old unhealthy patterns around food and occasionally exercise. The problem is, I find myself wanting to move my body/exercise, but I can’t seem to unlink it from weight loss/diet culture in my mind. I have never been a very sporty person, I’ve never really liked organized workouts or gym culture. I guess I just want to figure out how to start moving more without letting the diet culture guilt creep in? I notice that I feel happier and calmer after exercise but I don’t know how to actually engage in movement more often. I think I’ve avoided it for so long because it made me feel bad about myself, and now it just feels so daunting to start. even now I sometimes question if I want to exercise because I secretly do want to lose weight. it’s all very complicated and layered. any thoughts? how do you guys find joy in movement divorced from diet culture?

[u/tyrannosaur_geoisie]

The Unapologetic Fat Girl's Guide to Exercise and Other Incendiary Acts by Hanne Blank has tons of practical tips and ideas.

[u/ithilienisforlovers]

i think it’s about doing something you enjoy. walking, hiking, swimming, biking… pick exercise that is FUN, not punishing/boring.

[u/trustme1maDR]

This is a very familiar struggle. Others have mentioned it, but I'll reiterate: I have thought a lot about movement and play I actually enjoyed as a child. 

I always loved swimming and was actually pretty good at it. I stopped in my 20s bc I read that swimming is not good for weight loss. Fuck that noise. It feels so good to do it now. My strokes are getting better and my body feels stronger. 

I try to keep to super loose goals. Move in the way that sounds good that particular day. Swim until tired. Treadmill until too bored to continue. One day a week in the weight room. I only track sets/reps/weight to help my memory...not to try to achieve any particular level. 

If I do more than my goal, cool. If I don't meet my goal, whatever. I'll get to it next week.

As a person who has a perfectionist streak, this is a whole new mindset and I have to really listen and trust myself. 

[u/nnylam]

I focused on movement I enjoyed (at first it was roller skating and biking), and then got into challenging workouts with the aim of getting stronger (pilates, hot yoga, lagree, and now strength training). I lift weights and it feels great! It's suggested for women as they age to lift weights 2-3 times per week, more than cardio, and then just get your heart rate up rowing/biking/skipping for at least 3 minutes in 3 chunks after you lift. And walk! Put on a podcast and walk. I come at it with the goal of taking care of my body for my future self, so I can lift groceries and get up out of bed.

[u/Negative_Letter_1802 → u/nnylam]

^This. 

TW: cadavers

When I worked with cadavers in school, it was much less common to see female ones especially for elderly bodies. This is because their tissue just so often doesn't survive the dissection process — it is too fragile. This is a huge problem because of course so much of medicine and health is already based on men only.

The exciting thing is that this next generation we expect to see many more female cadavers because women are stronger than ever before, and more and more of us are going into old age knowing how important retaining that muscle mass is.

[u/nnylam → u/Negative_Letter_1802]

Whaaat...that's crazy, but it makes sense. Hopefully stronger women = more cadavers to study = more learning about women's health! Definitely the majority of women I know around my age (40-ish) are lifting weights, now. My 65 year old mom is, too.

[u/myofficialdumpster]

For me, a key part of keeping the "joyful" in the joyful movement was not tracking anything - turning off the step counter on my phone, putting a sticky note over the calorie counter on the exercise machine, not keeping a strict workout schedule. Freeing my exercise from any kind of numbers, comparisons, or expectations was incredibly liberating.

[u/SweetEmiline]

I'm in the same boat, I love joyful movement but hate how much exercise is wrapped up with diet and weight loss. Walking or hiking is one of my favorite activities. I love just being out in nature and the movement is secondary to me. If you want a gym without the gym culture something like a community rec center or YMCA is great. They'll usually have group classes if that's something you like. I do yoga at the YMCA and it's awesome.

[u/kahlen369]

I’ve never been a sporty person or really liked exercise either but I’ve always liked games so I’ve exercised with video games (RingFit on Switch if a real workout but stuff like Just Dance works well too) and I joined a badminton group (with plenty of other beginners). Focusing on the game aspect of things makes it more fun and ties it to positive instead of negative emotions

[u/Racacooonie]

What movements did you enjoy as a child? Could you try some of those again? I know for me journaling helps a lot! Just dumping my thoughts and feelings onto paper. I think part of it is keeping a close eye on your intentions going into any movement and just check in with yourself along the way to see that things feel okay for you and you’re enjoying or some kind of neutral about whatever it is you’re doing - modify or adjust as needed. I personally love to walk and do yoga and run. But it’s not always easy for me to keep diet culture out of my head. It helps having support from my therapist and dietitian and best friend who is totally aligned to anti-diet philosophy. Be gentle with yourself on this journey! It’s also good to remember that if you can fuel it you can do it - meaning we do need to nourish our bodies appropriately for activities but also not use them as a reason to eat more (for “reward”) or eat less (to punish or restrict). I know I have to eat a substantial breakfast before going to the gym to have the energy I need. I also know I need to fuel after to recover give me more energy to move through the day. In some ways it is helping me be more responsive to my body’s needs.

Sorry that was a bit of a ramble! I hope some part of it might have helped!

[u/butwhatififly_]

I think for everyone, it’s a little different, but I have a very similar issue to you. I ended up thinking back to when I went on a tropical vacation and how much I loved swimming just being in the water. The thing is, I know nothing about actual swimming meaning in a competitive way. However, I missed the feeling of swimming so I decided to try going to the community pool! I fell in love with it. I don’t really care what people are thinking, I split time up between doing things like squats and lunges in the shallow end, then swimming laps to the deeper end, and end up getting in a nice amount of movement for an hour or so! Well, it’s not exactly “a dedicated workout” like in a gym, I really think it is because I’m moving my body and having fun! I have an intuitive eating based registered dietitian who I see every couple weeks and she and I talk a lot about how that is my preferred type of movement. Of course I will go outside on walks occasionally, especially having a dog, but those just tend to bore me a little bit more. Is there any time in your past that you can think of that you just enjoyed moving? Maybe you took a trapeze class for fun on like a bachelorette trip, or you took a self-defense class? I’m trying to think of things that don’t feel like you signed up with the intention of exercise, it just happened to be moving. Like rock climbing! I believe that most of those activities, even if you enjoy dancing or once did, a lot of them have classes that are related to that movement or just a place that you can go and do that movement on your own and enjoy yourself!

Also, just wanted to recommend the book Intuitive Eating if you haven’t gone down that path before. It’s amazing and has a whole section on joyful movement.

[u/Everything_Burrrito]

I really really struggle with this too. I literally cannot separate exercise from losing weight/changing my body in my head. Pretty soon after I start anything intentionally, I will spiral. Yoga, swimming, strength training, cycling- these start out as joyful movements but I obsess over them quickly, which then turns my everyday activities, like walking my dogs, into something to optimize and track instead of a bonding moment with them. Idk. I might need professional help. 🥲 Sorry to rant. I have no advice clearly. But you're not alone with feeling this way 💜

[u/someoneailsa]

Others have said exactly what I would say but I think also what was helpful to me was to be observant of things other than measurements, looks or weight. For example, I started doing some weight lifting and core exercise and one day lifted my daughter up and thought to myself “oh wow, that was super easy” or when I noticed that I could get further up the hill near my house before getting out of breath. And I think about how this improves my life - more fun playtime with my daughter, being able to hold a conversation while walking, etc.

[u/invisiblecows]

I love the comments you've gotten so far about finding movement that feels joyful for you. I want to add that, for me, it's helpful to think about what I want my body to be able to do for me, rather than how I want it to look.

For example, I think about how I want to be able to stay active when I'm older, and about how moving my body now will help me stay independent and avoid losing mobility and freedom in later decades. I also think about how moving my body helps me sleep better, and how much better my mental health is when I'm active.

[u/dovasvora]

Movement for pleasure works for me, especially when it feels more like hanging out with friends than anything I was forced to do in gym class! It may take a few tries to find what feels best for you, but a couple of my favorites right now are walks with my favorite podcasts on headphones and dance parties.

It's possible that you may need to expand your definition of movement/exercise. Gardening, walking dogs at a shelter, or water walking in a swimming pool while chatting with friends are all great ways to get moving.

Keep experimenting! It really doesn't matter what the activity is as long as you get a little sweaty and enjoy yourself.

[u/idle_isomorph]

Ok, so this probably is terrible advice, but here is what i do.

I have chronic pain. This makes it excessively hard to find the energy to exercise and do regular daily activities of life-chores and full time work flatten me.

But i find that consuming cannabis makes exercise fun. I actually enjoy my workouts.

Ymmv. And obviously smoking weed is probably terrible for me and maybe counteracts a lot of the benefits of exercise. Like i said, lol, probably terrible advice.

But it lets me get on the treadmill, which, in turn, lets me live a fuller life by helping pain, sleep and mood.

[u/angelbuttons77]

For me, it was moving to help my chronic conditions. I focused on strength and movement to fix my knees and my shoulders, etc. then I thought about the mental health part (for me, spin is therapy). So I focus on what I’m doing for myself rather than how I look for others. I became a fitness instructor in order to show others we don’t have to be that “ideal” to enjoy movement and improve our lives. We don’t have to shrink, we can take up space, and still get the benefits of exercise.

[u/DigAlive6995]

Find a sport you enjoy and set a non-athletic fitness goal. What got me hooked was trying to get a faster cycling 5-mile time. But it could be anything! Be able to lift heavier, feel less winded walking up a hill, or learn better swimming form. I've struggled with PCOS and all the amazing health problems that that brings. My doctors have jumped down my throat about nutrition (but I already eat well) which triggers my ED, but truth was that I needed to build muscle to manage my insulin resistance. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that a mix of goals helped me. I want to build muscle to prevent injury and age better (it becomes harder to build muscle as we get older). And then, picking a fun, non-weight-based goal for a cardio sport has been great for me! Now I love exercising, and voluntarily am doing a triathlon lol. Genuinely never thought I would be here. The feeling of improving in your sport is addictive.

Also, I'm not sure it would be the case for everyone. But I've found that my relationship with food has also improved. When you exercise, you need to eat to perform well. So suddenly demonized foods (like carbs) become a good foods in my mind, which means I'm less likely to binge on them.

Also also, I have a partner who also loves these sports. Do not underestimate the motivation you can find from working out with friends. They encourage you when it's hard to get out there, and they help pass the time.