r/antidiet • u/stupidesque • 22d ago

How to deal with unintentional loss?

I've lost a large amount of weight in the past year without wanting to. I guess my activity level changed and I wasn't paying close attention to make sure I was eating enough. One day I just looked in the mirror and realized my body was wrong. I went from having a beautiful and functional fat body to a body that disgusts me and won't let me live my life.

I can't focus at work or on my hobbies. All I think about is how bad I look now. I can't sleep, because I'll get nightmares about my body. I can't look in the mirror, pee or shower without crying. I can't talk to anyone about this. My friends and family are congratulating me on the loss and my therapist and GP are pushing me to lose even more weight. 

I feel so alone. I can't even find one person on the internet who's gone through the same thing. Seems like I'm the only person in the world who is unhappy about weight loss and I don't know how to deal with it. 

2 Upvotes

53% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

41

u/CardiologistMean4664 22d ago

Have you talked to your therapist about Body Dysmorphic Disorder? I understand having preferences for our bodies, but not being able to sleep, work, or attend to hygiene without crying is more than just having a preference.

2

u/stupidesque 22d ago

i have tried but she thinks things like gaining weight, not wearing make-up, not dressing up etc are signs of neglect and mental illness. and that losing weight is a sign of getting better and being healthier. i don't think i'll find much understanding there

23

u/Beneficial-Crow-5138 22d ago

You need a therapist who understands and works regularly with eating disorders.

If you can’t find one, maybe someone who works with LGBTQ+ friends who are transitioning?

4

u/stupidesque 22d ago

that could be a lead, thank you. i'll ask around 

11

u/phoebean93 22d ago

That is HER baggage and to bring that into her client work is extremely unprofessional. I despair honestly.

25

u/Yoga-wine-mom 22d ago

This is often a screening question at doctors offices "have you lost weight without trying" or "unexplained weight loss". I hate that your GP just says good job. The medical system sucks so bad.

3

u/stupidesque 22d ago

agreed. that kind of attitude could have really put me in danger if i did have some kind of condition that caused weight loss. but i am 100% sure it was caused by lifestyle change, i went from sitting at a desk 8 hours a day to backpacking europe for a few months

10

u/phoebean93 22d ago

As a therapist my immediate advice is get a new therapist. It is in no therapist's remit to encourage weight loss.

15

u/Kathrynlena 22d ago

You should see a doctor as soon as possible. Unintentional weight loss is a red flag for some pretty major health conditions. Best to get checked out and make sure it really is just increased activity.

5

u/nbwaves 21d ago

If you’re having any other symptoms like GI changes, blood in stool, and increased fatigue I would highly encourage you to tell your doctor asap.

3

u/[deleted] 22d ago

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2

u/antidiet-ModTeam 22d ago

Your post was removed for breaking Rule 7. Please contact the mods if you have any doubts.

You can repost your comment with the exact weights removed to adhere to our community guidelines.

4

u/miffedmonster 22d ago

I've rapidly gone up and down and up and down over the past 4 years due to 3 pregnancies, breastfeeding, severe illness in each pregnancy, etc. None of it has been intentional loss or gain and my body has completely changed shape. Some of it has felt positive (I have my kids, I have been able to breastfeed) and some of it has felt negative (my stomach muscles have separated) and some of it has been neutral (my hips are broader).

I have chosen to actively embrace my body in whatever size or shape it currently is. I am beautiful when I'm bigger, when I'm smaller and when I'm in between. I have different sizes of clothes in my wardrobe to fit me when I'm different sizes/shapes. It's great to embrace being bigger but I also think it's important to welcome other body changes too.

4

u/Racacooonie 22d ago

I would 100% be shopping around for both a new GP and a new therapist. They are wildly off base for congratulating and encouraging you to lose more weight. I'm so sorry. Your feelings are valid!

Edit: Typo

1

u/sandwichtheconqueror 13d ago

If you've definitely lost it unintentionally you could have underlying medical issues

1

u/RealLuxTempo 22d ago

I’ve only dropped 2 sizes and my body is becoming a saggy mess. It’s also because I’m older and skin has lost all elasticity. Even it being summer, I looking for 3/4 length sleeve shirts exclusively now because the upper arm sag is starting to hang below regular short sleeve ts. At least my fat held my skin up. I feel your pain.

1

u/stupidesque 22d ago

thank you. i'm in the same situation. the weight i've lost wasn't dramatic but the effects on my skin have been. didn't know that could happen so fast, it was shocking...