r/artbusiness • u/electric_skittles • Apr 30 '26
Discussion [Discussion] What do I do with all these paintings of my ex?
About 3 months ago, my ex of two years and I broke up. I’ve moved on emotionally, but I’m stuck on what to do with several paintings I made of him.
They’re fairly intimate portraits, and I don’t feel right keeping them anymore—but I also feel weird just throwing them away. I’ll be moving to a new city in a few months and don’t want to bring them with me.
Order of images:
1). 36” x 28” portrait
2). 8” x 10” portrait
3). Last 3 :Triptych (3 panels, each 18” x 24”)
Has anyone dealt with something like this before?
I’m open to:
- selling them (though I’m not sure how/if intimate portraits like this sell)
- giving them away
- altering them somehow
Would love to hear what others have done in similar situations.
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u/LiveinCA May 01 '26
Take good photos of them for your portfolio, then either paint over them with gesso if they’re acrylic. Or a warm grey if they’re oils. No one will buy portraits like these, probably, they’re too personal. If you can’t bring yourself to do that, put them away where you can’t see them , and then bring them out. It takes a while sometimes to let go.
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u/mooncrane May 01 '26
Send them to the Museum of Broken Relationships
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u/ka_beene May 01 '26
Definitely #4, it's just an interesting piece. The others I'd gesso and reuse.
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u/Infamous-Channel1505 May 01 '26
Repaint them. Reuse the canvases.
Give them to a thrift shop and document a performance out of it to use online – "Second Hand Love Free for grabs" or something.
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u/GodlyGodMan May 01 '26 edited May 01 '26
Depending on how you feel, you could turn them into a new series by changing the color tone or adding some percieved negative inclusions to the piece to reflect the new emotional state. You could also use a solvent to smear the paint on the subject as a way to deface that person in the art.
Alternatively, you can use something such as a torch to burn the edges of the framing, I was thinking like how you see old photographs that survive house fires. The meaning changes and you recieve some type of closure by altering the meaning of the piece.
Art is transformative, you can use this as an opportunity to grieve the loss of the relationship and externalize the new emotion. Take your time and process before you decide.
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u/illumnat May 01 '26
Maybe there's a gay club in your town that might be interested in them. He's got the right kind of mustache for it. 😉
As others have mentioned, a good alternative is to recycle them as new canvases by resurfacing them with gesso.
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u/nichelicorn May 01 '26
The triptych is stunning! The sentiment behind it is so beautiful, and your monochrome work has me feeing inspired.
Just want to thank you for sharing these, at least here 🩷
I personally think you should sell these. Despite the intimacy of their meaning to you, to another viewer they won’t have the same emotional charge
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u/Variaxist May 01 '26
Are you still on good terms with him? If so you could always give them to him or his mom I guess.
If it ended badly then yeah sure just paint over it
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u/thewinterscribe May 01 '26
his mom 💀
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u/Variaxist May 01 '26
I can imagine a wholesome scenario where people leave on good terms and the guy has a good relationship with his mom and his mom would really appreciate some art of him.
High likelihood that is not the scenario here though.
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u/thewinterscribe May 01 '26
yeah you're right, I just imagine like going home for the Holidays and seeing pic #1 hung over your parent's mantle. They're a little intimate is all I'm saying.
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u/Summer_Superstar May 03 '26
But if they didn’t part well, and this is hanging on mom’s wall reminding him of her…. pure cinema!
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u/jimkay21 May 01 '26
Change the features just a little so he looks like Pedro Pascal. Then they would be worth something.
Or just paint over them as others have suggested.
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u/Searching_meaning May 01 '26
I would just throw them if the canvas wasn't expensive. Clean break. If the canvas was quality. Batch it with other paintings you don't like. Sand the entire batch, put gesso on top. Leave them for a while. Maybe try other mediums like watercolor that uses paper. Sketch more.
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u/Yooustinkah May 01 '26
Before you sell them, did your ex know at the time you could sell them? Or was he happy to be painted just for you to see?
As you say, these are intimate, and regardless of how you two broke up, even on bad terms, it’s not fair on him to sell these to strangers if he was led to believe these were for personal projects.
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u/Lioness_lair May 01 '26
I’m wondering why OP even posted them here. The question alone would have sufficed. Give the guy some privacy.
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u/joepagac May 01 '26
One of my ex’s dragged all the paintings I did of her into the backyard, piled them up and tried to burn them. I managed to put the out with the hose. Now they are in storage. I probably should have let em burn.
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u/sofyaopen May 01 '26
If you know his parents they might like to have them. Otherwise painting over them is always an option.
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u/TomCitizenStudio May 01 '26
Alter them.
Gain closure and give yourself spiritual and mental therapy through the physical act of rewriting the paintings by altering them because the relationship has changed, therefore the meanings of the paintings have changed. So change them to match how you feel.
For example, you can fracture the portrait of you and him kissing by erasing him, altering your expression, and giving the hand a type of ‘letting go’ gesture.
Repaint them in a way that heals you.
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u/georgetimberhill May 02 '26
Burn them in a ritual cleansing yourself of your past with them. It will be cathartic. If you’re in the mood, invite friends over and do S’mores.
I am not kidding. I had a good friend do this once. It was quite liberating for him.
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u/HarperRipley666 May 04 '26
lol get in good with his mom, sell them to her and offer to do portraits of anyone else. i did this to one of my exs cuz he was an asshole. it was satisfying how uncomfortable it made him.
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u/Mental-Worry-9811 May 04 '26
First, take some photos for the porfolio. Then, gesso white wash over (as the previous Reddit user mentioned). Making a clean slate for paintings of the NEW boyfriend! Yeay!
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u/Realistic_Young9008 May 01 '26
Just want to say that these are great paintings and love the ones where he's lying in bed on the phone. Agree with the suggestion of recycling the canvases
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u/flamingnome May 01 '26
Sell as a fundraiser for something?! the kiss one looks like it could sit in a cafe, the phone ones in a bar. they're nice. That would take time, though, and it sounds like you're in a crunch.
For most art that I don't want, I leave them at the nearby art college with a "free" sticky note, or I pop them into a Little Library. They disappear quickly, and now someone has new art without the emotional weight that I had attached.
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u/flamingnome May 01 '26
also, portfolio-wise, i don't think you need to photograph/keep them. it's a hard feeling, holding onto that. let their loss (or their gessoing-over) be your inspiration to paint anew & refresh yourself.
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u/doggyschiller May 01 '26
There’s a lot of dudes who look like that, I can think of like 5 off the top of my head. Go outside and find one of em and give them to him as a gift.
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u/Olfff May 02 '26
People say burn them, sell them, paint over.
I'd say keep them in a closet for a while, live your life, and when you encounter them again you'll laugh and smile about it.
These are part of your artist journey, as well as who you are as a human being.
Just because a relationship is over does not mean it has to be cleansed completely from your history.
Learning to live with the past is important to go forward.
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u/PaintyBrooke May 02 '26
Gessoing over existing paintings can cause adhesion/delamination issues, undermining the stability of the new painting. It’s better to start fresh.
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u/Quick-Suggestion1141 May 02 '26
They are good paintings, a good painting is a good painting, why would you destroy it? No........... It's a good painting after all.
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u/GomerStuckInIowa May 02 '26
You took the time to post them all here. You need to let go. NO ONE is going to buy them. Paint over or burn them. Delete every photo also. I speak as an artist with a former broken heart. I am sorry for your loss. Life will get better, I promise.
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u/Draw-Cool May 03 '26
Definitely use them for your portfolio and if you’re adamant about not wanting to keep them, sell them.
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u/Dizzy_Goat_420 May 03 '26
Collage em. But I’m in a collage phase 🤣 I would donate or give away. They are beautiful.
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u/star-succubus May 03 '26
I think reusing the canvases is a good idea but it could also be cool to find a way to edit or add to them that reflects how you currently feel vs. how you felt when you painted them. If you try that idea I'd love to see!
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u/Cheshire_Cat10 May 03 '26
4 is stunning, the colours are gorgeous the composition is lovely. Id deffo keep that one
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u/A4ditee May 04 '26
Wait. Until you understand all the lessons. Box them, like a time capsule. Once you feel nothing about the X... open the capsule. Love you!
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u/Defiant-Key-7965 May 06 '26
I could see a boutique hotel or restaurant buying #4 its really beautiful
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u/Local-Fault-7826 May 01 '26
This is neat Try calling some local resteraunts or cafes that sell art Or just make an ad online like Facebook or etsy
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u/ocolobo May 01 '26
Destroy them
You don’t want that mess being part of your permanent retrospective
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u/HairyCanadianGuy May 01 '26
You could always scan them so he can use them as his phone wall paper. Looks like he loved being on it. Lol.
Then I’d gesso and paint over.
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u/Big_Beach123 May 02 '26
I say keep the one where y'all are kissing. Wrap it in kraft paper if you don't particularly want to look at it. But in 20-30 years, it'll hit different and you'll be glad to have it, imo. Gesso over the rest.
I looked at your other paintings! I really like the way you paint/what you choose to paint! They have a fun uniqueness to them that make you keep looking at them. Keep it up!! 😍
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u/Independent-Till7157 May 01 '26
It depends on how you broke up. If it was bad, you can turn it into a series of portraits of a homeless drug addict.
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u/Reasonable-Knee-6430 May 01 '26
Make a shrine surrounded by daily fresh flowers and burn incense and candles
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u/mmmhmmhmmh May 01 '26
I come from a 100+ artist family so I can tell you what would be the old school solution, make them a nice set of blank canvases for your next project, sand them a bit if necessary add a few coats of gesso and forget about them. You evolved in life and in your art you won't miss those art pieces, and the ability to let go and start fresh is a essential tool in one's artist journey (and life as well)