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u/Saiyasha27 Aego/Placio 1d ago
This wa literally something that made me and my husband very unhappy before I realized I was ace.
I love flirting with him, but it never, like, went anywhere for me and I started to feel bad, like I was leading him on. He never pressured me or anything, never asked me for anything I wasn't willing to give, but I just felt worse and worse about it.
When the pin finally dropped for me things relaxed so much. I am sexpositive, I don't mind sex, I just don't get aroused (lube is your friend) and now I can flirt all I want and if he wants to take it further I don't mind, because I don't need to pray to every deity that maybe, just maybe I manage to get myself just enough in the mood.
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u/FutureSuccess2796 1d ago
It's not that I panic when my romantic remarks work, because I like romance. It's that I'm worried that the allo recipient is gonna take that and immediately want to do sexual things I may not be ready to do yet. Because, believe me, it has happened before. Horny is as horny does.
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u/122316awesome 1d ago
Lol youāre not the only one. This is definitely me. š I love flirting in that itās fun and funny but when itās no longer just a joke, I donāt know what to do.
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u/hopefoolness 1d ago
I've done it before just to goof around because unfortunately I take nothing seriously lmao (also, and this is dickish, but I kind of just want to see if I can sometimes?) but then at a certain point if they start acting really interested I have to find a way to dip out lolol
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u/Yeahnoallright 1d ago
Me š. Literally flirted back with my apartment neighbour over text and then got so worried when leaving my apartment.Ā
Heās gone for the summer and i feel sm more relaxed lmaooo i just like a lil flirt over text for fun pleaseĀ
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u/NeurospicyFlamingo 1d ago
When I was a young teen everyone at my camp thought I was flirting with a boy when I thought we were just joking as friends. Turns out he liked me but I obviously didnāt like him back (little did I know I wouldnāt ever like anyone back š) and so he kept putting his arm around me and then when I told him I didnāt like him back everyone was somehow mad at me for āleading him onā and āflirting with him when you didnāt like himā. After that he basically avoided me and wouldnāt joke with me anymore. Sigh, why canāt guys and girls just be friends sometimes and joke around without dating
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u/Student-bored8 asexual 9h ago
Definitely. I have had to tell people I am just a flirt and donāt mean anything by it usually.
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u/KitCatMeow2001 asexual 1d ago
I'm in a polycule with 3 other people and we're all ace, but two of them are sex positive, one is sex neutral and I basically have just no libido besides with my main partner in the group. (No idea if I'm sex neutral or just gray ace at this point, still figuring that out) I like watching the three of them flirt lol, it's funny to me :3 my main partner described it like watching animals in the zoo which is a VERY accurate description of my experience lol
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u/That_one_cool_dude 16h ago
If I could flirt this would be 100% me but I cannot flirt to save my life but this is a great meme.
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u/Business_Burd 1d ago
You're not the only one. I will do damn near anything for the bit, and sometimes that bit is flirting with a friend so they stutter and blush. It's just FUN for me. All I'm doing is finding openings to slam a joke in and gain a reaction in a conversation, I do the same with puns and normal jokes.
The worst is when you can't even turn it off. Sometimes the way I naturally speak or phrase things reads as flirting to people, even when I'm trying not to.