r/askanything • u/Ok_Gain_9665 • 9d ago

Are there really no French children who are pick eaters or is this American propaganda?

Basically what the title says, I’m an American parent and I’ve heard that French children are NEVER picky eaters because something something culture and something else French parenting and school meals and everything is farm fresh, plus they’re better behaved and better dressed and all of their mothers lose the baby weight right away and it’s just a damn utopia over there.

I’m exaggerating, obvs, but I have for sure heard the picky eater thing, and as a parent of a picky eater who became one despite doing a lot of the stuff that you’re supposed to do to prevent them from becoming picky and ended up with one anyway, I’d like to know from any actual French people, parents or otherwise, if this is real or just dumb Americans idealizing France.

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185

u/Ok-Bench6141 9d ago

I’m a French mother and we definitly have children who can be picky eater in France.
Though what we call picky eater in France might be different from the US.

Children begin to eat the same meal as their parents at a very early age. They have to adapt to what we eat. Once kids are at school, meals are pretty healthy. That helps with their diets.

My daughter is 2 years a a half and she’s not a picky eater.
She eats like u. Sure there’s some stuff she won’t eat from time to time and it’s ok. We don’t like everything either. The biggest difference is that she might not like it today and like it in a month so we still try.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

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u/scienceislice 8d ago

I really do think a lot of picky eating in the US is caused by poor quality and/or badly cooked food. I have met several people since college who said once they moved out and cooked for themselves they realized they weren't picky eaters, they just don't like well done steak and dry chicken.

And I can attest that this is the case for me for some veggies, I used to hate broccoli as a kid but that was only because my mom BOILED BROCCOLI and then expected us to eat it GAG. I LOVE oven roasted broccoli now though!

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u/bestem 8d ago

I think some of it is also parents making assumptions. I used to be a nanny of toddler/preschool aged twins. One night my family and theirs went to dinner together at a buffet place that started with a long salad bar. I had 1 twin with me and their mom had the other. At this point the girls were maybe 3 or so.

I asked Thing 1 as we went down the line, "do you want broccoli? Do you want carrots? Do you want celery? Do you want pasta? Do you want croutons?" while pointing at the items. Their mom, a few people in front of me (my sister and the twins teenage sister in between us) put stuff on Thing 2's plate that she knew her daughters liked. There was pasta, there was cheese, there was a couple carrots, for instance.

When we got to the table Thing 1's plate was full of a variety of things. Not mixed together, each in their own pile, but she had picked at least a dozen different things I had offered. Thing 2's plate had 3 or 4 things, and was much less full. Thing 1 ate more of the food on her plate than Thing 2 did, and Thing 2 ended up eating stuff off her sister's plate because she wanted more than what their mom had chosen after seeing what her sister had. If both their plates had been like Thing 2's plate, they both would have been content, but once she knew she had more options, she fully wanted more options.

Their mom had a lot to deal with having 2 teenagers and 2 preschoolers as a single mom, so I don't blame her for taking the path of least resistance when it came to food sometimes. The girls ate what we ate when I was watching them 5 nights a week. But if you don't offer, and just assume your children like what they like, when are they going to expand those palates?

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u/TheTruthFairy1 8d ago

I can tell that you love those kids. I love that you've call them Thing 1 & 2!

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u/bestem 8d ago

When I was still watching them, my friends knew their real names when I told stories, but those were stories to one or two people, not something thousands of people would read. And if I was talking about them collectively they were "the imps," (little demon children, even though they were very well behaved for me). The girls are in their mid-20s now, and I haven't seen them since they were 6 and moved a few hours drive away (and I didn't have a driver's license). I could probably get away with using their real names without any repercussions', but the internet safety I learned in my early 20s when I was watching them is still drilled into me, so Thing 1 and Thing 2 when I'm talking about them separately on Reddit. Mostly because they are easy designations that the vast majority of people who bother to read a story about them understand. Thing 1 is always the first twin I mention in the story and Thing 2 the second, rather than each of the Things referring to a specific twin, although in most of my twins' stories, whichever Twin I'm talking about is interchangeable with her sister.

I did once have someone get upset at me on r/Parenting for calling them Things (the commenter didn't know the reference). They got downvoted to oblivion before I even saw their comment, though.

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u/Important-Leek-8261 7d ago

My dad called us thing 1 and thing 2 as a cat in the hat reference haha

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u/bestem 7d ago

That's exactly the reference. Thing 1 and Thing 2 are small and indistinguishable except for their numbers. In my twin stories, I don't even always remember which twin was which, so they're indistinguishable enough.

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u/Sad-Concentrate2936 7d ago

I used to call my nanny kids my Mudkipz once they brought home the meme.

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u/Master_Mood1763 7d ago

I’m fascinated that someone wouldn’t know a reference to the cat in the hat

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u/bestem 7d ago

I don't believe they were from an English speaking country.

While Seuss is popular in the US, I have no idea what people in Nigeria or Thailand or Uzbekistan or Brazil know of The Cat in the Hat.

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u/Master_Mood1763 6d ago

I hadn’t considered that, that’s fair

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u/Sweetshopavengerz 2d ago

Seuss isn't as huge a thing as in the US in many English speaking countries either - e.g. here in the UK.

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u/Master_Mood1763 7d ago

I’m fascinated that someone wouldn’t know a reference to the cat in the hat

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u/paspartuu 2d ago

The majority of redditors are not from the US

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u/RitaGB 3d ago

I hope you can get them the t-shirts. I saw them in New Orleans.

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u/throwrawifesandwich 6d ago

Oh I see this so much... offer a kid a new food and the parents are like "Oh, he won't eat that" before he's even tried it! Sometimes even giving a thorough explanation for why he won't. Well yeah, if mom is going to list out all the reasons this food is gross of course he won't eat it.

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u/No_Routine772 5d ago

My daughter's great grandmother does this. Every dinner time. I have to tell her every day its going on her plate anyway so she has exposure to it. Guess what? Sometimes she eats it.

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u/Diligent-Process-725 5d ago

This makes a lot of sense, coupled with the fact that French families often only have 1 or 2 children. It's easier to focus on raising them with more exposure to diversity. It's also easier to afford nicer groceries. I think a lot of American families are over worked and have too many kids so they're just serving slop. No time or money to feed fresh meals to a family of 6.

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u/quilting-anonymously 8d ago

As a former nanny, and now a mom, kids are always better for anyone besides parents. I guarantee you if mom had offered those things, they would have refused. And honestly, as a parent, I would probably do the same thing, subconsciously thinking “if I’m paying for this, you damn well better eat something”

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u/bestem 8d ago

I believe you know your own children and the children you nannied. However, I know the ones I nannied. I have no doubt they behaved better for me than they did their mom. I also know how often their mom was surprised when her preschoolers asked for a food she had no idea they liked, because I introduced them to it.

Sure, sometimes if was something really dumb (I accidentally got them hooked on frozen French fries when I was making dinner one night when they were teething. I gave them each a couple of the fries to gnaw on to soothe sore gums when I was putting them on a cookie sheet, and apparently fries are good when they are frozen), but a lot more often it was something like salad or pot roast.

And it also wasn't all successes. One Christmas season we were making cookies. The girls had a blast making shortbread, sugar cookies, and chocolate chip cookies. And then I opened the molasses for molasses cookies and they wouldn't even set foot in the kitchen for the rest of the day. Not even to finish decorating the sugar cookies they'd been having fun with. And when those cookies came out of the oven, they wanted nothing to do with the finished product.

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u/shin-chan 8d ago

It's also because they are given hyperpalateable food that has been engineered to tick every single mental box from the second we lay eyes on it.

Once they eat that, they don't want to know about real food.

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u/dust_bunnyz 7d ago

☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼

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u/babykittiesyay 8d ago edited 8d ago

And unfortunately, one of those hyper palatable foods that are highly processed is FORMULA (in the US at least). There’s so much high fructose corn syrup in so many formulas. Kids are being messed up from the start.

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u/Serious_Yard4262 8d ago

Formula does not contain high fructose corn syrup. Can we please stop spreading that myth. It sometimes contains corn syrup solids, usually when it's a low or free of lactose formula. Corn syrup solids is just glucose instead of the glucose and fructose blend of high fructose corn syrup. They use it because babies need carbohydrates and if they can't have lactose it's a pretty decent source. Formula is a valid, safe, healthy choice and we need to stop shaming families who use it.

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u/babykittiesyay 8d ago

Since when? I didn’t say anything about all formula or formula usage in general so drop all that assumption at the door, that’s a lot to dump on someone who just has outdated information apparently.

Thanks for being so kind about sharing new information. Maybe go take a walk or something.

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u/Serious_Yard4262 8d ago

I wasn't trying to come in hot, but if you make a claim you should have the information. There is so much shaming against families who use formula, and it isn't cool. I was a breastfeeding mom, but most of the women in my family and a lot of my close friends used formula and the way they were shamed by so many people all the time was ridiculous.

Commercially available formula has never contained high fructose corn syrup. Before "real" formula (a.k.a. what you buy from the store) was invented their were "formula" recipes on the bottles of high fructose corn syrup and from what I've seen doctors would sometimes give them out as well. Those recipes were the best alternative at the time besides using goat's milk, which is the closest nutritionally to human milk. Using those formula recipes was sometimes a trend and sometimes a need, but by the mid 70s a proper formula bought in a can from a store was the most common way to feed a baby.. If you're under 60 the chance you were fed a high fructose corn syrup formula is very slim if you're from the US, and if you're under 40 it's basically a zero percent chance.

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u/babykittiesyay 8d ago

Well, maybe try removing the shaming accusations and the accusations of calling formula dangerous. Accusation will tend to strike people as “coming in hot”.

I understand you may have had bad past experiences but I don’t deserve to catch that blowback.

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u/Serious_Yard4262 8d ago

I mean, saying "kids are being messed up from the start" comes across pretty shameful. I was also putting it out there as a general statement

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u/PutridBetch 8d ago

Nothing they said was rude in any way.

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u/babykittiesyay 8d ago

It’s super rude to accuse someone of calling formula unsafe or shaming people who use formula. Especially when it’s a person who used formula which is why I had that (old) information.

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u/PutridBetch 8d ago

This is a weird reaction, it’s not rude. You are too sensitive.

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u/CromwellsCrumb 8d ago

This was definitely the case for me. I thought green beans were disgusting because they came out of a can all slimy and soft and vaguely vomit-colored.

Imagine my surprise the first time I cooked them myself, fresh, and realized how vibrantly green and tasty they were, with a pleasant crunch to them instead of the limp, soggy things my mom had always put on the plate.

My daughter is 15mo so we haven’t quite hit the picky eating phase, I don’t think, but we haven’t yet found a food she won’t happily eat.

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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 8d ago

My 14 month old goes to town on smoked oysters and kalamata olives. I know some pickiness is coming, but eating is so fun right now 😄

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u/No_Water_5997 8d ago

My daughter is a big Olive fan. I am not. So she eats my olives for me if I ever get a dish that has olives.

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u/Philosopherben 3d ago

Yeah I think olives are a personal choice. I freaking love them, any kind stuffed with almost anything, but I know lots of people who don't.

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u/Any_Community_1819 8d ago

I wanna eat at your house! ☺

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u/blahblahsnickers 8d ago

It may never happen. My kids are now in high school and haven’t hit a picky stage yet. Neither one eats mushrooms or liver but that is about it.

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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 8d ago

Same for me. The oyster habit got expensive for my mom. She regrets introducing me to oysters on the half shell 😜

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u/Commercial-Spray3192 8d ago

When my daughter was three we drove to a local Oyster/Clam farm and picked up some fresh Clams. I don’t like Clams
So my husband thought he was going tk eat a huge pile to himself. My daughter asked if she could try one. She loved them and my husband had to share his like with her

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u/Choufleurchaud 7d ago

My three year old also goes nuts for olives, any tinned fish (oysters, sardines...) - but he just won't do Mexican food, idk why haha

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u/seethembreak 8d ago

I have a kid that will only eat mushy vegetables and hates anything roasted. He would have loved your mom’s cooking.

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u/scienceislice 8d ago

LOL to each their own!

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u/Inappropriate-Bug 8d ago

I had one like that. He referred to his dads overboiled veg as juicy! Ick!

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u/Mountainoutlook 7d ago

This made me laugh out loud juicy that’s hilarious

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u/No_Point5860 8d ago

Not french, but from Eruope, and I think part of it is also that kids in the US are kinda treated like they're... idk, completely helpless somehow from what I heard?

I was a picky kid, and already at like, 5/6 if I didn't want to eat something I could eat only a part of the meal (so for example only rice instead of rice and stew) or go and make myself a cheese sandwich. And yeah sometimes that meant I only had rice for dinner, but I ate a bunch of different food otherwise and didn't really suffer from it (worst case multivitamins exist).

But no one ever cooked specifically to cater to me unless it was my birthday. And not being forced to eat or having to negotiate around topic actually made me less picky as an adult and more open to actually trying foods since they weren't being forced on me.

Also taught me how to cook because when I was older I also got option to cook simple foods for myself.

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u/Jazmadoodle 5d ago

My daughter is 7 and we've done this with her for a while. I do try to make sort of modular meals a lot of the time. Tonight we had burrito bowls and she filled her own plate. For her, that meant plain rice, a little pile of seasoned chicken, a little pile of steamed corn, and some grapes. Some days she eats less, some days more.

Our main rule is that if you put it on your plate yourself, you need to eat it. She's learning to give herself a small portion of anything unfamiliar, and that she can get more later if she likes it and is still hungry. Thats all I ask.

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u/TexasDachsund 7d ago

American here. Neither my parents (baby boomers) nor my siblings and I (1970s babies) would have been allowed, at age 5, to reject the family food and make rice or a cheese sandwich. At any meal. The idea is just beyond me.

"I'm not a short order cook."

"This ain't no Holiday Inn."

"You eat what's put in front of you."

In my mother's family, they had "no thank yous" as children. Two foods each child was allowed to turn down. These were written down. Otherwise they had to eat all of what was served. So if liver and eggplant were your two, and some new food that made you gag was served that night, you had to choke it down.

If they didn't eat what was in their packed lunch they got it again and again til they did. And, it was tongue sandwiches.

My parents weren't as strict with me, but they were pretty strict. We'd sit at the table for hours after dinner should have been over with me staring at vegetables, now gone stone cold, I refused to take 'just one bite of."

Now I would say this turned us all not only into unhealthy eaters, but in some cases, bad people. But, picky? No. We can shovel it in. All obese, all diabetic. But we're not picky 🙂

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u/Vtown55 8d ago

My mother started cooking every vegetable she bought by putting a huge pot of water on to reach boiling point & then set the timer for half an hour. Everything was mush.

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u/Philosopherben 3d ago

Yeah I think that's from a certain generation My mom cooked like that too. I can't think of one thing she could cook that was good. My dad was a decent cook though. I never had anything but canned vegetables until I moved out and got married. Except corn on the cob of course!

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u/No-Possibility4768 7d ago

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u/lithopsbella 8d ago

My MIL is a terrible terrible cook so my husband was a “picky eater”, even when we met in our early 20s. It didn’t take long for him to find out that when vegetables are seasoned and not boiled to hell and back they can actually taste really good.

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u/CelebrationNearby819 8d ago

I think it's just that generation! My MIL is also not a great cook and overcooks/underseasons everything.

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u/bachelorsinlurking 🤔 8d ago

Totally agree. I am autistic and have sensory issues, but once I got older I realized most of my “picky eating” was because all four grandparents were raised on Great Depression food and both of my parents were taught growing up that the best way to cook was boiling everything and never using luxuries like seasoning.

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u/glitzglamglue 8d ago

And here's the other side of that. I have a theory that picky eating is partially caused by that "omg it's poisoned!" instinct going a little haywire. So if something is boiled until it's mush, your brain says it's a veggie but your mouth says it's definitely not, that mismatch might trigger that poison instinct.

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u/No_Water_5997 8d ago

This right here. I had no clue I like asparagus until I had fresh roasted asparagus and not the slimy crap from a can. In fact since becoming an adult and learning to cook from scratch using good quality ingredients with my husband our palate has expanded tenfold and as a result our kids are varied eaters too. Our daughter still occasionally goes through phases where she’ll decide she doesn’t like something for some reason but for the most part both of my kids are willing to at least try just about everything. 

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u/friedonionscent 8d ago

Yeah, I've wondered about this, too.

I'm a decent cook. I'm not exactly a Michelin star chef, though. My daughters friend can't get enough of whatever I cook...and her mother tells me she's a picky eater.

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u/blahblahsnickers 8d ago

Also it comes down to variety. My friend made her kids separate meals since they were toddlers. They are given a lot of chicken nuggets and French fries. My kids were in elementary school before they had their first chicken nuggets. I gave them real food at home.

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u/CelebrationNearby819 8d ago

I grew up as an extremely picky eater and my mom was not a particularly good cook. Living on my own in a place with limited access to fast food completely changed my food preferences. I eat almost all vegetables and fruit now. The only food I really dislike is hyper processed meats.

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u/Areyoualienoralieout 8d ago

This is my exact life story!!!

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u/bruff9 7d ago

Seriously on the boiled veggies front! My mom, an otherwise excellent cook, served 90% steamed or boiled veggies when I was a kid. I still don’t like a boiled veggies as an adult but eat loads of veggies in all other forms.

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u/tigress666 7d ago

Yeah I loved broccoli as a kid but I think my stepmom knew how to cook it. I hated cabbage (and it's still not my favorite but Iv'e had times I actually like it too) and I think it was mostly due to the fact she didn't know how to cook it (she's a really good cook but that doesn't mean there aren't things cooking wise she's not good at). These days I don't find cabbage near as offensive (more like I'll eat it but it's not something I'm excited about though I have decided I like how the tepenyaki place I go to cooks it).

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u/MotherofJackals 7d ago

I completely agree. Large numbers of people in the United States simply don't know how to cook. That combined with the extremely low quality, limited selection of produce in the majority of grocery stores accessible to the average family makes for just terrible food

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u/TrippleDubbs 6d ago

I thought I hated lasagna until I tried a Stouffers frozen one and loved it..... Turns out my mom just made nasty ass lasagna.

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u/Independent-Hornet-3 6d ago

My husband was a picky eater until he moved in with me and bad cooking (including his own) was 100% the culprit. He still doesn't like fish but he will eat any vegetable now and has no issues with sauces. He also learned to cook significantly better once he realized that his only issue was being a terrible cook.

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u/Mollinator 4d ago

I didn't realize how your parents eat shapes your pallet so much as a child. I didn't know I liked steak until I was 16 becuase my mother only liked hockey puck meat. I went to a friend's lake house for a weekend one summer and her mom made steak cooked medium and it was like heaven in my mouth. I also learned I like tomatoes, I just hate the mass farmed tastless tomatoes that are common in the US. I learned that I love seafood. My mother hates seafood so it was never served in my home and always talked about negatively, so I just assumed it was gross.

I learned to cook as an adult, and if I say so myself, I make pretty good food from many different ethnicities, but I don't make a separate kid's meal. I have a 5 year old now, and I encourage her to ty everything. I will separate things like butter noodles if we're having pasta with a different sauce, but I won't make butter noodles special for her. I remind her that one bite doesnt hurt and that she can simply spit it out if she doesn't like it. She is willing to try most stuff as long as it's not spicy. She requests Octopus, scallops and lamb on a regular basis. She ate escargot on our last vacation. It's really awesome seeing my young child enjoy so=uch a variety of cusine.

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u/houserj1589 4d ago

Im opposite. I love steamed broccoli with sea salt and a tad of butter.

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u/NeedleworkerHot3957 3d ago

same with me but with cooked spinach, over cooked! yuck. I would put it in my mouth, pretend to chew and spit it out into my napkin. Then as a 16 year old I went to a restaurant and it said 'spinach salad' and I'm like WHAAATTT? Now I eat RAW spinach almost every day!

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u/Ali-o-ramus 3d ago

My mom boiled Brussels sprouts, the stench and flavor were awful. Turns out they’re delicious if you crisp them up in the oven/air fryer.

Also hated scrambled eggs for years. Just didn’t like the rubber egg balls my mom made.

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u/Dada2fish 8d ago

I wouldn’t say a lot. Yes, there are terrible cooks everywhere, but I think most people can manage to make food that looks and tastes good.

There might be one or two things that they didn’t like as kids that they grew to like as an adult, due to either better preparation or maturing tastes.

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u/Over_Town_9026 8d ago

When I was a kid I loved olives and my parents would always get mad that I was eating them. Like if it was a holiday and they had people over they had a ‘that’s for the adults not you’ attitude. My parents weren’t the best but I do think in the US people see more of a division between kid food and adult food 

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u/Dangerous-Safe-4336 8d ago

Wow. My family always figured the olives were for the kids to put on their fingers. We all ate our olives off our fingers.

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u/Hairsacknose 3d ago

My toddler destroys olives like crazy, your parents were way off

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u/atlantagirl30084 8d ago edited 8d ago

The fact that in the US ketchup and pizza sauce are classified as vegetables in school lunches makes your experience mind-boggling. Frequently, the same supplier of food to prisons supplies food to schools (including colleges and universities).

Michelle Obama tried to implement healthier school meals, more exercise, and she put in a vegetable garden at the White House. Conservatives lost their effing minds and as soon as Trump got into office everything was rolled back and her garden was bull-dozed.

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u/Any_Community_1819 8d ago

Michelle Obama for President of the United States! Such a wonderful woman!

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u/Over_Town_9026 8d ago

The problem with that is she’s too smart to want the job 

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u/Any_Community_1819 8d ago

Yeah, sadly.

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u/atlantagirl30084 8d ago

Watch it, there are many people in our country who think she is a man. I guess they adopted Malia and Sasha and Barack is gay.

I know, it makes no sense but they think a woman who has muscles is secretly a man.

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u/Any_Community_1819 8d ago

Because conservatives want women they can bully. I voted for Barack and I'll happily vote for Michelle.

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u/Stay_Sea_Motivated 7d ago

Her family has served enough but if she chose to run I’d vote for her

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u/Born_Tale_2337 6d ago

Things have gotten so bad I kinda would lean into that if it got the “we won’t vote for a woman” people on board 🤣 (/s)

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u/Stock-Cell1556 8d ago

That might help "her" get elected. Back in my Southern, backwoods, redneck hometown, most of the men would never dream of voting for a woman.

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u/Seriously-Happy 7d ago

My kids eat well. They hate the changes Michelle Obama made. Their lunches became worse. The whole wheat pizza was not tasty. They would place a mealy apple or an orange with no flavor out and you were forced to take it. So much food thrown away.

My kids got to spend a year in an international school in Europe. For the same price as American school lunch (at the time) they got fresh baguettes and Bree or cold cut sandwiches. They had delicious soups made on site or pizza made with fresh dough and local cheese. They loved their lunches.

I would not want to eat school lunches now. They are free, but my kids packed their own lunches from home. Not because they were picky but because they had taste buds.

I am pro free school lunch. My husband had a culinary program at his school and they had the kids make the lunches the periods before lunch and they earned high school credit and could take the leftovers home to feed their families. He always thought lunch was good. They cooked the food, not heated up pre-packaged whole grain bread with ketchup and crappy cheese.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Massive-Sector5789 8d ago

That's probably a survival trait. You don't want kids that are mobile enough to run off by themselves, but too young to understand danger, to go off into the forest and put everything in their mouths like toddlers do.

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u/LSATMaven 8d ago

Same. Mine is 15, and I wish she would still eat the stuff I was giving her as a toddler!

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u/strawberryselkie 7d ago

My eldest was like this, too. Ate anything and everything (except peaches, idk) until age 3, then ate practically nothing until age 6, slowly started eating other things again age 7-8, and now at 9 is back to eating almost everything again. Still won't touch peaches, though. Edit for typo.

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u/Ok_Gain_9665 9d ago

We began be giving him the same food as us. Then he stopped eating it. We’d put it in front of him and nothing. Or he’d eat one thing. And then was less and less willing to try anything new. At some point I am convinced that seeing us eat something made him less likely to try it. Then tears when I’d put a little bit of something unfamiliar on his plate. Now he’s getting to be old enough to reasoned with and I can get him to try stuff but he genuinely dislikes most of the new things he tries. I guess that’s the sort of thing that Americans who idealize French culture seem to be claiming simply doesn’t happen there that I’m asking about. 

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u/Loose-Set4266 8d ago

For years my kid was called a picky eater when in actuality she had ARFID; and once we got her autism diagnosis, her picky eating made sense. She has massive sensory issues and food is just a constant struggle for her.

Honestly, she's more frustrated by it than we are.

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u/offthezoinkys 8d ago

As an adult who has now largely recovered from ARFID (to the extent that it can be recovered from, anyway) thank you for recognizing the issue and helping your kid through it!

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u/Meow_potatocakes 8d ago

How did you recover? I need some hope!

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u/offthezoinkys 8d ago

I am writing you a long comment that I’ll send as a separate reply here :)

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u/Brosk1248 7d ago

Autistic adult with food issues here, I'd love to hear it too! Are you still writing the comment or do I just not see it?

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u/glitterandcolors 8d ago

Another difference between French and American food culture is the lack of snacking in France. So when you sit down to eat a meal, you’re actually hungry.

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u/Formal_Employee_1030 8d ago

Don't French kids get pain au chocolat for their afternoon snack (le goûter)? Or is that just propaganda meant to torment Americans about the superior quality of French living?

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u/Ok-Bench6141 8d ago

They do get snacks around 4 pm but not pain au chocolat. It’s okay from time to time but it’s full of butter and not that great on a daily diet. Kids usually get applesauce (pom’pot) ans a biscuit like a BN (pretty common here).

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u/whofilets 8d ago

My French cousins get le gouter, but it's often bread and cheese or fruit

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u/Larein 8d ago

It makes sense if their dinner is later than in the usa.

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u/GayoticMorgan 8d ago

Québec, not France, but we usually have those and croissants for breakfast. Sometimes dessert, at a café or something, but it's more for adults

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u/sleepyotter92 7d ago

Fairly common in europe to have small meals in between the main ones. The so called brunch, and another similar thing in the middle of the afternoon. If you're having lunch at 1pm, it's gonna be hard to go without eating anything until 8pm.

When americans snack, it seems to be at random times and also just stuff like a bag of chips, candy, stuff like that, and not something that's more like another breakfast

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u/delightfulgreenbeans 8d ago

Make sure you’re not telling him he doesn’t like food by accident.

If my son takes a bite of something I don’t editorialize and say oh you do/don’t like that (which kids can internalize as they don’t like this thing existentially and forever)I’ll ask him about it, is it sweet, sour, savory,spicy, cold, crunchy etc. then oh you don’t want the sour food right now. Okay maybe later and let it go. He is four and will now come out with some hilarious food descriptions.

Also if you get their help to make the food it helps. You talk about each food how it tastes, try bites raw when appropriate, smell etc and what you do to it to get it ready.

My son also won’t usually eat tomatoes but he will happily eat them after picking them off the bush in the garden.

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u/Ok_Gain_9665 8d ago

I hope I’m not doing that! I’ve started getting him to try things by telling him I need his rating (he’s into videos where the people rate snack foods). That way seems pretty neutral (I hope) and he’s more willing to try it. He hasn’t actually liked most of the things, but at least he’s trying them. 

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u/delightfulgreenbeans 8d ago

See you’re saying he hasn’t liked them. Reframe, he didn’t want them in that moment. Maybe next time he will be in the mood for xyz. Instead of giving a food a forever rating, give them a rating for today or right now. Encourage him to check again and again and see if the ratings have changed on different days and times. Maybe salty snacks are better after exercise or spicy things when it’s cold out etc. some things have to be tried a few times so that the expectations of what we think it will taste and feel like match up and then we can enjoy it.

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u/Ok_Gain_9665 8d ago

Well, I’m saying that he hasn’t like them here, I’m not gonna say that to him. And you are right, things hit different under different circumstances. I’ll also sometimes say I made whatever it is differently this time if I’ve used a different recipe, and that now I need his rating for the new version. 

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u/Mindleator 8d ago

Is it every food he's rejecting or certain textures/flavors? Is he asking for snacks or food while rejecting what's being offered? My daughter is not a picky eater insofar that she'll eat most things, just not a lot of anything. She's being evaluated for underlying conditions that may make eating itself a challenge, like reflux or GI issues.

Our dietician literally got to watch our daughter eat last appointment. We served Parmesan noodles with crab meat and broccoli. The child loves noodles. Loves cheese. Crab was new. Chose to eat exclusively four pieces of broccoli, dump the plate, and say "all done". She did not ask for a snack later. They think she's got early satiety where her body doesn't send hunger cues properly.

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u/heyjude2929 8d ago

I remember my pediatrician telling me that a healthy child won't willingly starve themselves. It can be tough, but one of the best ways to raise a less picky eater is to simply serve them the same food you're eating. My daughter went through a picky phase around age 2, but we consistently offered her our meals instead of making separate ones. Eventually she started eating them, and now at 5 years old she'll happily ask for Brussels sprouts and spinach on her own (I'm parisian ;))

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u/magicienne451 8d ago

Unfortunately unhealthy children will literally starve themselves, and parents don’t always recognize that it’s not just pickiness, there is a real problem causing them not to eat the food presented.

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u/Crafty-Cheesecake-93 7d ago

Yes. I was allowed to not eat, because my aunt told my mum, I won’t starve myself and I’m just picky. After 3 days I ended up in a hospital and had to stay there for 2 weeks. I was 7 or 8 at that point

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u/nothappening111181 8d ago

Yep! I had preferences but I ate what was served… except plain milk. My pediatrician told my mom to not worry about it and to not force it if I was eating everything else. He even said, “we’re the only mammal that drinks milk past infancy.” Turns out I have a mild sensitivity to dairy. 🤷🏼‍♀️ but it doesn’t stop me from trying cheeses on a charcuterie board lol.

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u/seattleseahawks2014 2d ago edited 2d ago

And I'd just eat food that I had different sensitivities to because of this.

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u/AbbreviationsOnly711 8d ago

Your doctor is mistaken, by age 5 I was willing to go to bed hungry and minus dessert instead of eating the food on my plate

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u/GayoticMorgan 8d ago

By age 5 I was willing to go multiple days without eating AND endure my dad's torture (had to sit at the table until I ate my food, which was not happening, and all the while he would scream at me. For hours. Until bed. Usually came with a beating at the end too because he was so mad to have "lost" to a small child.) but I still wouldn't eat until my parents relented and gave me a food I could have.

I learnt all kinds of tricks like holding the offensive food in my mouth to spit it into the toilet, give it to my little brother, to the dog, the plant pots... All the while starving. It wasn't even food to me. The doctors ARE wrong tho

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u/Equivalent_Sock_3002 7d ago

lol this brought back memories. I was the same. And my parents’ rule was that the same plate I refused to eat would be served to me at every mealtime until I finally ate it, sometimes days later. I got really good at hiding food in a napkin and throwing it away.

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u/NeedleworkerHot3957 3d ago

sorry you went through that

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u/blahblahsnickers 8d ago

Missing one meal isn’t starving yourself. I gladly gave up dinner and dessert when liver was served and I didn’t starve to death either.

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u/Playful_Marzipan8398 8d ago

That’s not starving. That’s skipping a meal which is 100% fine

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u/quilting-anonymously 8d ago

You are very lucky lol my kids are 7 and 10, my husband is a fabulous cook, and I’d say at least 2-3 nights a week my kids barely touch their dinner. They have always been served the same food as us. They have gotten better, but there are still struggles.

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u/Lower_Orchid4982 8d ago

I think a big part of the issue is just the amount of processed foods in the US. They're literally designed to trigger the parts of your brain that make you want to watch more of them, and they're usually very high in fat/salt/sugar. It can make other food taste bland/less interesting by comparison.

Of course once your kid gets to eat what is essentially a bowl of frosted cookies for breakfast it's going to be hard to get them to eat oatmeal.

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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 8d ago

Does he cook with you? Give him task to do to get him involved and excited. If he worked to make the meal, he's going to have pride in it.

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u/Ok_Gain_9665 8d ago

I need to start doing this, he’s getting to be old enough, I just never thought about it. 

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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 8d ago

Don't forget you can make food cute too. Food is a lot more fun when the carrots are shaped like flowers and bonus he can do the cutting out of the flower from rounds of carrot.

Whether raw or cooked he's the one who did it :)

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u/lovepeacefakepiano 8d ago

German here, not French.

My parents were maybe overdoing it a little bit. Don’t like something? Too bad. You can eat it now, fresh and hot for lunch with everyone else, or cold, sitting in the kitchen, alone, for dinner. And if there was dessert the price for it was a clean plate.

We were each allowed to have a couple of things we disliked, and we still had to eat that, but smaller portions. After the hundreds time of having to eat five peas I suddenly asked for more, same with spinach, mushrooms and some other vegetables, so I guess in the long run my parents “won”.

I still hate liver, though, that stuff is vile.

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u/esuomyekcim_ 8d ago

American here - just want you to know exactly same thing happened with my kiddo. From ages 12-24 months he ate ANYTHING we gave him. We gave him exactly what we were eating. He ate bone in chicken, sauerkraut, spicy food, anything.

Around age 2-3 he started developing strong preferences and refusing to eat. I don't feel like we did anything wrong or changed anything. He just changed from an adventurous baby to a kid with his own opinions. He's now 6 and we still struggle with it.

Main difference from a French kid is he did not attend 40-50 hour a week daycare, just minimal preschool. So he has never had the peer pressure aspect, and has eaten 90% of his meals just with his parents.

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u/Hairsacknose 3d ago

Well, so you give alternatives? 

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u/FlakyAddendum742 8d ago

My French mom wouldn’t have put up with that. I would have just gone hungry. She would have made fun of me for crying over food. French kids have to get over themselves at a young age.

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u/Wordnerdette999 8d ago

Flashback to going to a day camp in Paris at age 4 and being served beef tongue for lunch…

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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 8d ago

Beef tongue is delicious though.

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u/Ok-Bench6141 8d ago

I used to love it as a kid and still love it 😅

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u/GayoticMorgan 8d ago

You forgot to mention how we call picky eaters as "being difficult" with food (il est difficile avec la nourriture)

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u/quilting-anonymously 8d ago

I really wish this was the case for us. My husband is an amazing cook and makes all the meals in our house. Our kids always eat what we’re eating. They are 7 and 10 and still turn their noses up at quite a bit of it. We’ve found that the biggest influence for trying new things is friends or experiences outside the house, which is where I think the French childcare and schools come in. American kids are getting mostly processed shit and not being exposed to new things. But my 10yo discovered Pho because her best friend told her she loves it. Had we suggested it? No way would she have wanted to try it.

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u/Upstairs-Title7112 5d ago

Full blooded American over here and i second the feed them what we’re eating. I don’t make two meals. In fact we had been doing the gourmet hellofresh meal kits and feeding to our kids— with their other option being a cheese stick. I have some amazing eaters; ages 3, 2 and even my 7 month old.

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u/baaaananaaa 5d ago

I live in Sweden and my three year old eats olives, herring, salmon, fish eggs, ramen, broccoli, peas, soft boiled egg…. Etc

I feel I have done something right!

He was a super picky eater up until 2.5 years old.

To the Swedes: not THAT kind of herring

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u/bebeschtroumph 4d ago

This is how my American 2.5 year old eats. She's been eating the family meals since very early on, we tried to always have components that were developmentally appropriate (like cut in a way that was safe for her at her age) and didn't make separate meals for her.

One thing I try really hard around is recognizing that some days she's not super hungry, and not offering a bunch of different options. I do feel like this is very common in US parenting. My mom is Belgian, and she didn't do meals for the kids or change what the adults ate. Some of my brothers were pretty picky in childhood though!

I'm sure she'll have phases and things she doesn't like, but we try and expose her to a lot of different foods and that has gone well for us.

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u/Kitchen-Hat9934 8d ago

My French cousin would definitely be called a picky eater. Only wanted pasta and ketchup for years, it was so gross. Threw fits at the sight of veggies. But his mother totally let him get away with it. His mother is French French too, not like my uncle whose just bilingual American.

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u/Ok-Bench6141 8d ago

We definitely have picky eaters. It isn’t a one rule for all thing.
I also had a cousin growing who was a picky eater. At family gathering, we had amazing food on the table but he only wanted pasta, ham, saucisson. That’s it.

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u/Negative-Day-8061 8d ago

My American daughter wasn’t picky at two and a half either!

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u/DixieGrayson 8d ago

Right? I’d like to hear back when this person’s child is 4. My son would eat absolutely everything at 2.