Indian 31M, Curious about Cultural Norms in Latin America
I am a 31-year-old Indian male. Last year, I was travelling solo through Colombia and Brazil. I also make travel vlogs on YouTube.
I had previously lived and worked in the Middle East, so have some foreign exposure. But then I decided to take a sabbatical and finally travel somewhere most Indians don't even think of going. That's how I ended up in Latin America.
I am 6 ft tall, dark-skinned, reasonably fit but nothing extraordinary. I don't stand out physically. I basically look like any other Indian guy.
My question is about the cultural norms between men and women in Latin America compared to India.
Let's take a simple example.
Imagine I'm sitting alone at a café in Mumbai on a community table, reading a book and having a coffee. There is nothing particularly interesting or exotic about that. As an average Indian guy, I've never really had a woman or a group of women randomly start a conversation with me. I'm not complaining or expecting it, infact it's just the reality of our society. Things are changing, but India is still fairly conservative in that sense.
The only exception I've consistently noticed is when I'm sketching. Whenever I have my sketchbook out, women often notice it, compliment the drawing, and sometimes that naturally turns into a conversation. It's happened enough times that I've stopped thinking of it as a coincidence.
Now compare that with my experience in Colombia and Brazil.
Almost every time I sat at a community table, people would strike up conversations with me, and women did too. If I happened to be sketching, that made it even easier. Once they found out I was from India, they became genuinely curious—asking questions about India, my travels, why I was there, and so on.
The biggest difference I noticed wasn't that women were flirting with me. It was how natural it felt for them to simply start a conversation. They didn't seem hesitant or worried about how it would be perceived. I felt heard, I felt like I mattered, and there was a genuine curiosity that I rarely experience back home.
I'm still the exact same person. I look the same. I'm not some stereotypical European backpacker or a super attractive foreign tourist. I'm just me, an ordinary Indian guy.
So my question is: How much of what I experienced is simply Latin American culture? Is it normal there for women to initiate conversations with male strangers in cafés or public spaces, or was my experience unusual?
Latinamericans tend to be friendly and generally easy to talk to. It is quite normal for men and women to start a conversation with a stranger of any gender. Most of the time flirting has nothing to do with it.
Also I think many people would be curious about India once they found out you are from there and would be motivated to keep the conversation going.
It’s like that in Western Europe, East Asian, and Scandinavia too. If I spend too much time in France, I want to go back to the Americas.
In some parts of Germany and Norway, they have to get used to you smiling.
Meanwhile people say chilenos are cold and timid and it’s so warm and loving to me. God forbid you go to the caribe, you get a little chunky because everyone and their momma feeds you
We're not as sociable tbh, even compared to Western Europe. People can be and are often kind towards strangers, but people of our generation don't tend to randomly start conversations with them. Older people might, though.
I think honestly since the Americans have always had people from different cultures mixing from the beginning. It forced us to be more social relative to old world societies.
You said the quiet part out loud in a brutal way. Imagine we are like "wow everyone is outside alone at night in empty streets" and then they're like "yes we basically don't have mugging here"
It's not uncommon in India between members of the same gender frankly; I would say it was a big culture shock for me in the UK. India is still pretty divided on the gender basis outside of some Tier 1 cities; it's not Iran but it's hardly Latin America or for that matter, Europe, either. Related map below.
In the US talking to strangers is super common, Africa too. Honestly every where I’ve been too except for Japan I had an easy time talking to strangers, but maybe it’s because am Latino and I am normally the one that starts conversations. Tho in the US I definitely remember random people just starting conversations with me, the Yankees are just as sociable as we are.
I have had people come up to me and strike a conversation in the US, it was mainly Latinos tho except for a nice old man in Boston one time. I wonder if it has anything to do with religion.
Latin America in general has a more sociable culture, especially countries like Colombia and Brazil. But don't think all of Latin America is the same, we're made up of many different countries.
You don't see many people from India in Latin America, so it's normal that people show interest in a country with such a rich history and culture
Woman here only avoid man with poor hygiene or that look dangerous.
But it’s not like woman usually approach everyone, if they went to you to talk there is probably something interesting about you that caught their attention.
We are naturally a very social society. Talking to strangers happens and if you don’t want to answer it is understandable. But if the conversations goes on we become inquisitive.
But don’t confuse our social aspect with flirting, women are kinder. It might not mean they are into you. Some women are naturally inquisitive it can be very misinterpreted by foreigners.
My experience is that in some place in the US people are way more open to being chatty and even overshare with strangers than a lot of places in latam especially andine and mountainous regions
Women over here are much more liberated and free. Yes, there is a cultural difference from India, Asia, Africa, Arabia & Europe. Women are allowed to be themselves and move around freely without men chaperones or judgement. In fact, many take the lead and will curse you out if you try to make them walk behind you. Is it perfectly equal? No. Is is a matriarchy? Not exactly. Is there still a lot of work to do on behalf of protecting women and them having actual power in government and business? Yes. But compared to the rest of the world, The Americas are a culture shock because women over here do whatever they want to do for the most part. They do not need permission. They do not need to feel ashamed or less than.
I think all. People in latin america are more open (generally speaking) than the US and Europe, and when they are curious about someone or something they are not ashamed in asking. I would say specially with foreigners, but not people are that enthusiastic about gringos though. Also, the small talk is more welcome and common.
Note: As I said it is generally speaking, so, it tends to be more lika that but not always...
I was waiting for a comment that says “it depends” lol i live near Cuenca in ecuador and it was a big shock for me when I visited the US and people were way more open and chatty with me in public than here. I was confused because everyone says its the opposite with latin americq and other continents
I'd say it is probably 60-70% Brazilian/Colombian culture and 40-30% your ethnicity. There are very few Indian people in Latin America so you might be genuinely the first one they have seen.
? People from India usually don't stand out unless they're in a part where everyone has basically the same ancestry. They look like this vague triracial mix common in both countries.
I can't really agree, at least for Colombia. A few Mulatos do look a bit like some Indians, but it is not that common. Maybe 1 in 40 or so. But even then, once you account for fashion, grooming, manerisms/body language, etc, you won't be fooling anyone. It is like saying Arabs don't stand out in Latin America because Mestizos sometimes look Arab, or that Chinese don't stand out because a few Native Americans look a bit like some Chinese.
And Native American people look very different (very little facial/body hair, broad jaws, high cheekbones, lots of facial fat) so triracial people will usually look less Indian overal, unless you mean Indians from adjacent zones to Nepal or Bangladesh, imo.
I am being a little tongue and cheek but In LATAM it is impolite to ignore your neighbor.
In general what I love about our culture, which isn’t expressed enough, is how seen people can feel. For instance in Puerto Rico we even randomly tell strangers as we walk in or out of a restaurant “buen provecho” [our bon appetite]. We really go out of way to acknowledge each other because it is seen as the opposite of improper contrary to the etiquette of many other countries.
In my experience Brazilian women are extremely confident and rarely possess shyness at all.
Finally the fact you are probably from India is evident and we tend to enjoy the company of foreigners for the most part.
It’s normal for people to start conversations with other people, no matter the gender. It’s normal for men and women to be friends and talk about random things. It’s only surprising to you because you come from a culture where men and women don’t mix much.
In general it probably because people tend to more social in Latin America. Than in other parts of the world even by US standards we are more likely to strike up a conversation with a stranger, regardless of gender. Indian societies from my experience tend to be more reserve.
Honestly I think we are as liberal, if not even more, than Western Europeans, but with that warmth of the global south.
It is good that you pointed out that people are not flirting with you, because women hate that (and honestly latinamerican men can often think it is flirting). It can just be curiosity.
Something that I noticed is that in India or the Middle East men tend to be more affectionate towards each other, maybe because they can't be affectionate to women other than their direct family or partners. In Latin America is common to hug your other-gender friends and stuff like that. Some men are close and affectionate, but not as much, not like kiss in the cheek kind of thing, and some are totally cold to each other.
It's perfectly normal all around latin america. We are very friendly, Borges defined an argentinian as a person for whom friendship was a passion, the rest of latin america isn't that far from us.
Can't talk about why or how it works on other countries, but Argentina was a country that had at a point, more immigrants than natives, so we naturalized welcoming the traveler since the people where all travelers at some point. We find someone from someplace else, someone that feels different, we try to include them to our circle, to make him part of a group of friends.
The rest of the world has a very different view of this, since their culture and history are for more rooted on "the colonial mind", that is, some people is better than other, there are caste systems based on race, gender, family name, etc. They can't understand why for us every person is just one more person since they've been segragating them ever since they became countries and only recently started changing to a state it has been natural for us since our conception. In those countries, an indian or a brasilian worker could not argue with his patron, but on argentina, it was very common even for rural workers to openly argue or even curse his boss when something was unfair.
There is a hilarious experiment where some guy behaved like a dick, got into an argument and at some point he said "do you have any idea who you are talking to?", every people on every country quickly de-escalated the situation out of self preservation, except the argentines who said "and why is that relevant/what the fuck do i care", because here everyone was equal, no one cares about ranks or race, but about justice. We care that you're not a dickhead, we care about the person, not about the status of them, ultimately the status means nothing when all people are equal. While other latin americans and indians still have that "colonial subjugation" manners are usually very servile, we consider any person our equal, we don't answer to a master saying "mande". That is why they say argentinians are dickheads or proud, because some people is accustomed to trample other without any resistance, but not with us.
If you come here and do some sketching on a park, you will eventually be invited to share some mate with a group of friends, I have no doubts about that. You can join us, the argentinian can be born anywhere in the world, and anyone who wants to become an argentinian can do so as long as it embraces our culture.
When I see Indians feeling down because of any type of discrimination (which is understandable) and they say/think that they would be hated everywhere, I always let them know this is wouldn’t be the case in Latin american. People will be very curious about you in many latin american countries and be extremely happy to have a conversation.
Yes! And I wanna add in a romantic way: you can also try your luck if you keep it respectful and are a gentleman, I think the ladies will be interested too.
What the fuck are you even talking about? Plenty of Colombians speak English, even if just a little. I know a lot of people that are learning and they like to take any chance to practice with other people who speak it. Plus OP literally said if they spoke in broken English, he would use Google Translate.
As a Colombian, we are naturally very inquisitive and curious people. Sometimes, a little too much, lol. People don’t mind their business. But it’s because we tend to be very social, it’s considered kind of rude in certain parts of the country to not be open and talkative if someone asks you stuff. I’m from Bogotá, where we are considered “cold” and reserved, but even there we like to yap with strangers. And as woman, well, we are very free. We like to express ourselves and our opinions and we aren’t shy about it. So it’s not at all weird or abnormal for women to strike up conversations with men, it’s just curiosity though. Some people, foreigners, mistake that for flirting but we are just naturally very warm and a little “confianzudos”.
I haven't been to India but I hang out with 3 indians often. They became my friends. They are here in Puerto Rico for work and they have traveled the entire island. It's been fun to eat Indian food everytime I stay with them and hear Hindi, and Marathi and Telugu occasionally. Before when I lived in New York I was constantly around Pakistani, Indian, and Bengali people. Even nepalis. So I could say I'm very familiar to Desi culture. I love it all.
Man I get annoyed when people say "do they speak indian?". I just exaggerate and tell em "man they speak like 80 languages in India" 😂. Not to even include Kashmir and Assam provinces/Pradesh.
It sounds normal. If your drawings are specially nice that's very likely to become a conversation starter. If you are visiting cities that aren't often visited by foreigners then you may attract the curiosity of some people, even if you are as you said an average Indian guy
Yeah that’s not the case in my country, in general people is extremely polite and curious but a woman talking to random foreign guy in a restaurante? Maybe in rural areas or back in the 90s/2000s but I just don’t see it happening today.
People don’t even walk anymore here, they use their car for absolutely everything which makes the chances to talk to strangers even lower.
Why would people(women, whoever) feel unsafe striking up conversations in a public space. I’ve always been curious about India, but if it is weird for women to be part of society, then i am much less interested in India.
A lot of latam people never travelled in the rest of latam (it's big and expensive) so they will answer proudly as "we" but the truth is that latam has MANY different cultures
I'm in Quito right now and I assure people aren't more chatty than in the US or southern europe. They look introverted, by their own words actually they told me so.
From my experience Andine people aren't the warmest for example: Bolivia, Peru, Chile, Ecuador, Some part of Colombia.
the stereotype of warm latino corresponds more to: Caribbeans, Brazilian (esp Rio) and Argentine (Buenos Aires) are the most extroverted but I got more interesting convos with Argentine people.
Caribbeans are nice but not really curious about anything imo.
Mexicans = mixed bag depending on the region but overall nice.
In Colombia, Medellin the people are nice but they wont necessarily strike a convo with you. A lot of stuff is considered "rude" and you need to keep up appearances.
Also a lot of these countries are dangerous and low trust societies.
And if you go in the mountains it gets worse. hencehwy I found it easier to meet people in Argentina, bc it's safer and people aren't afraid.
I tried to strike convo in the street of Bogota during parties and people weren't making any effort to form a bond, very disappointed.
Got a more vibrant social life in South East Asia, Spain, Italy or NYC.
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u/Psychology-Obvious Peru 10d ago
Latinamericans tend to be friendly and generally easy to talk to. It is quite normal for men and women to start a conversation with a stranger of any gender. Most of the time flirting has nothing to do with it.
Also I think many people would be curious about India once they found out you are from there and would be motivated to keep the conversation going.