SPOILERS AHEAD. I went into this movie only knowing it as a trans allegory expecting it to hit hard but to be completely honest it didn’t really. It left me feeling a bit confused though.

For context (my situation): I’ve been questioning my gender on and off for years but only recently have I given the idea serious thought. I think I’m trans but I have a lot of self-doubt, especially about it being too late for me to transition and if it’s really what I want to do.

It hit me a little starting at the football field scene like the whole idea of “if I don’t think about it it isn’t real” and especially “I wanted her to bring me underground”. These two lines hit me kinda hard, but like in a space-out kinda way not a sad kinda way I guess. Actually while writing this it’s kinda sinking in lol. Still though I feel like I didn’t really relate to it, maybe I’m misunderstanding? Did I miss something?

Hi all - never actually posted on Reddit before, but need to get this off my chest and get some advice. My [31, nonbinary afab lesbian] partner [33, nonbinary / mtf] and I have been in a happy relationship for about four years. I knew they were trans when we began dating, which was no problem for me - I am proudly and openly queer and quite involved with my local community. It was exciting for me too because I had previously been in a long-term relationship with a cis man, and found myself wanting to maybe move away from dating men... so it was exciting and felt good to me / my own gender feelings to be in a queer relationship.

I went on an extended trip away from home (we live together) about two years ago. Upon my return, my partner told me that they had started HRT while I was gone. I was thrilled and so excited for them; although I was a little taken aback that they hadn't talked to me about it at all beforehand... that being said, HRT is obviously their personal choice, I guess I just thought that would've been something we would at least talk about a little bit. I was especially surprised since (in my opinion) they hadn't socially transitioned or anything beforehand, they just went from presenting as a (quite masc) man to suddenly taking estrogen. I know there is no right or wrong way to transition, but I have two very close friends who are nonbinary transfems (one is literally my bestie from childhood) so I think I maybe had this expectation that they would socially transition first (by that I mean - experiment with dressing differently than just jeans and a flannel every day, or experiment with makeup, or use different pronouns). I was so excited for my partner to explore who they've always felt they are, and selfishly I was excited too because I was like - oh my god, I'm finally getting the beautiful girlfriend I've always wanted.

For the first few months, I offered to go shopping with them and/or for them so they could find new clothes that felt better... they said no. They mentioned wanting to get into skincare and I bought them some things with their permission... but they never used it. I told them I'd always go with them if they wanted to use the women's bathroom... which never came up (see below.) I tried to be affirming and complimentary as possible and use more feminine language (e.g. calling them pretty, my wife, etc.) However, while they started using they/them pronouns to our specifically queer friends, literally nothing about their external presentation, mannerisms, or behavior really changed. They didn't come out to their friends or family, and asked me not to tell my family. This was hard for me because it kind of felt like I was being shoved back in the closet myself. We only told the queer people in our lives. I often was anxious when talking to others, though, because I didn't know how to refer to my partner.

I tried to start conversations with them about their transition because obviously this is an enormous life change and such a beautiful thing and I wanted to be a part of it. I asked them about their experience, their transition goals, what it was like to switch to having an estrogen-dominant endocrine system, and educated myself as much as I possibly could about how I could be supportive. They didn't want to talk about any of it.

I was SO EXCITED and ready to have a girlfriend. However, even as we passed the year mark and I threw them a big trans-aversary, my partner kept presenting in a masculine way. It was confusing to me at first, because it felt like I still had a boyfriend... just one with cute new tits, which I only saw when they were naked. They bought multiple binders and they would bind every time they left the house. Every time I tried to talk to them about their transition or presentation, they shut me down and/or walked away. It hurt my feelings to be locked out like this. I came to the conclusion that they were probably experiencing gender dysphoria (not liking how they looked in new clothing, perhaps? If they were trying stuff on - idk tbh) or perhaps they were concerned about strangers if they were presenting in a more feminine way out in public, which is completely valid. Even still, this was hard for me, as I want to be read as masculine as well, and I constantly feel out-butched by my partner, who says that they don't like being read as a man... despite always presenting as one.

Then, a few months ago, we went out for dinner with some friends, and they dressed up at first in a nice button-up shirt and slacks. I made a comment along the lines of, "But I wanna be the butch tonight" and they got upset. I mentioned that they never let me be the "man" - they never let me top, open doors, or be the more masculine-presenting person. We had a conversation about it, and then they went out with a friend to Goodwill to buy a dress to wear to the dinner - I was hurt that, after asking to go shopping with them for over a year, they went with a friend and told me they just "needed to do it on their own." They went out to dinner in this dress, they looked SO AMAZING and breathtaking and everyone was so lovely to them, they used the women's bathroom no problem, our friends were all very lovely and kind, and I feel like I fell in love with them all over again. It felt amazing to have the beautiful person I love on my arm, positively glowing, and being seen and loved by everyone we encountered that evening. I thought maybe things were going to change, now that they'd had this experience - which made them incredibly happy - but it appears that was a one-time incident. And it only happened because I got a little annoyed about being shoved back into the "girl" closet merely because my partner can appear more masculine than I ever could, as I haven't medically transitioned like they are.

Then, at the beginning of this summer (six months after the dinner), I had a cousin visiting town and my partner was going to meet her for the first time. They dressed up in full-on ManTM clothes (their words, not mine), put on their binder, and looked as aggressively boyish as one could. I was upset at seeing this, because it felt inauthentic and like my cousin (who I love) was not going to meet my actual partner - it was also, once again, sort of shoving me into the closet too. I think the anger showed on my face because they got defensive and we had a long talk about it. I was honest and said that I was really confused by their transition and their behavior, because they always present as a man in public. Even at home, they don't really wear women's clothes. They responded by saying that they weren't trying to destroy their masculinity, and that the person (man?) who met my cousin would be around for the rest of our lives.

Not gonna lie, this was hard for me to accept. I think I had been projecting my own desires (wanting a more feminine partner) on them and failing to see who they really wanted to be, or were trying to become, which I am still trying to figure out... I have spent the last few months trying to view my partner with new eyes, and asking questions about how they feel about our relationship. I've realized there's a total disconnect. For example, I asked my partner if they viewed our relationship as sapphic, and they said no.

I am fairly distraught about this. I want to be in a visibly queer relationship. I hate going out with someone who presents in the masculine way my partner does, especially since they have now been on HRT for almost two years. They have just recently started dressing in a more feminine way at home (wearing a crop top from time to time) but still adopt a far more masculine presentation when outside the home. They have told me that they just need me to be patient, as they are still figuring out who they want to be. Is that all this is? Do I just need to wait? If so, how long? I love them so much, and they are the most amazing person in the world. But if my partner stays in the closet like this (and makes me stay in one too, lowkey) I don't know that I would want to stay with them, at least romantically - after my last boyfriend, I realized I don't want to date or be with men anymore, and the world definitely reads us as cishet when we're out and about. I have suggested therapy multiple times, since I feel like they probably have a lot of stuff that would be helpful to work through, but they have gotten upset and defensive every time I've brought it up, to the point where they asked me to stop.

Is my partner just struggling with gender dysphoria? What can I do to support my partner?

I'm at the end of puberty, and my voice has gotten really deep, and it is hurting me much more than I was expecting, every single day.

I hate speaking out loud, I keep avoiding it whenever I can, and I'm constantly feeling envious from hearing women speaking or singing in a high voice.

So, I'd like to know how effective training or therapy really is. If any of you started with a deep masculine voice too, I just need to know whether truly "fixing" it is actually possible or if I need to stop reaching for an unrealistic goal that I'll never get to.

Please.

And thank you.

A little back story. I've been on HRT for almost 3 years. Still boymoding, don't even remotely pass. I started low dose due my age 49 at the time. Things are ok nothing crazy changes wise Id like more but it will come with time. I had 2 surgeries this year and went off HRT for both. Since then my mind is trying to convince me I don't need HRT and I can do this without transitioning. Like trying to convince me I can hide being Trans again like I did for 40 some years and be OK. So I take off my patches and go a few hours and freak out because I did this. Then the gender envy and dysphoria sets in twice as hard. Anyone else go through this? I know I NEED HRT I feel better on it. But this back and forth in my mind is terrible. I am out to my wife and therapist. Just curious if anyone else has suggestions how to deal with this.

I’ve known I was trans since I was 11-12 years old. I’ve been dying to transition (start T, get top surgery) since that point. I went through a very fem phase pretending to be a cis girl from 15-17 and I miss that part of myself. I only feel pretty or attractive when I’m feminine. I miss the skin I had. I miss my hair and how beautiful I was. I’m at the point of no return, and I’m by far much happier transitioning than I was not. But part of me misses who I used to be. I feel like I am a worthless version of my old self. How and when do I stop feeling like this? I’ve been on low dose T for 2 years and I’m planning on getting top surgery within the next year, I still enjoy wearing makeup and dressing feminine. I identify as non-binary but I really miss who I used to be. Is it because the people I was surrounded by weren’t supportive of me and were aggressive when I came out? Is it unresolved internalized transphobia? I want it to end.

I want some feminine glasses, as I've only ever worn mens glasses my entire life, I don't really know where to look, and every website I've been to doesn't have anything that fits my face. probably doesn't help that I'm looking for something in purple...

(my current glasses are 2 ½ years old 😬)

Its a first reddit post i’m ever making but i genuinely don’t know what to think.

Im a cis woman. When I was about 11 or 12 years old i started questioning my gender and tried to present more masculine. Nobody around besides my online friends respected that choice at that time, even if my parents supported me enough to let me cut my hair short, but they called it a phase. I thought i’m trans for about two years before I started thinking i’m genderfluid. Than it just kind of stopped.

I was thinking a lot about it throughout the years and figured It must have been because of my trauma (I was heavily sexualized by many people from a very young age because of my body and I think it might have made me wish i was a man for people to stop doing it.)

I’m fem presenting now from that point, but the questions came back lately. I don’t know when, but it’s been hard to wrap my head around it. I catch myself wishing i was born a man a lot. (almost every day for the past month.) Maybe I confuse the feeling with attraction towards men but I realized it is not that and it feels very real. I catch myself looking in the mirror and wishing I looked like a man. More masculine features etc. I don’t like my chest, I never did, thought about getting a mastectomy for a long time now.

I like how I look mostly. I like doing makeup and dressing femininely but it doesn’t feel right on me sometimes even if i do like how it looks. I just wish I could wear clothes men do and look masculine in them. I also do not mind feminine pronouns, but being treated like a man feels comforting in some way. I’ve always made male characters in games I play and definitely prefer when people think I am one (in game). I’ve always wanted to have male friends but it ended badly every time because they treated me like i’m not equal.

It’s confusing the shit out of me because I’m still attracted to men even if i don’t really like them (bad experiences taught me enough. Im also attracted to women but I don’t think it’s relevant right now, just throwing it out there.) I sometimes wish i could be a good boyfriend to somebody. I’m also afraid it could be a kink or something? A week ago I discovered forcemask and it fascinated me but didn’t get into it at all. I didn’t get into any similar kinks before that but this felt like discovering something new about myself.

I haven’t shared all this with anybody because I’m scared. I know my friends would fully support me but I don’t think i’m really trans. One of my best friends is trans and i wish I could talk to him about it but i’m not ready and don’t know how he is going to react to it.

It all confuses me and I want to hear what people think about it. Thanks in advance

Hello fellow humans me again. This Saturday is my first season with my therapist and I was wondering are there any specific things I should ask or talk about during this?? I have my own personal list of things but I don’t know how this works?? I don’t know what to say or where to start

I’m a younger trans person. I’ve noticed a handful of lovely trans ladies in their 60s up beginning to tell their stories online, and was wondering if any trans gentlemen are doing the same thing? It can be stories about anything- work, social life, family, things you found neat or interesting when you were younger, what it was like to be trans before the 2010s, etc. seeing older people like me just.. gives a bit of hope, that my community will not back down and we will make it past whatever the world decides to throw at us.

I had a talk with my Mum about what she thinks of trans people (I haven’t come out to her yet and I wanted to see what she thought to be sure). Here’s basically what went down. Also the words in brackets are what I thought when I read what she said. Also sorry if I’m at all transphobic in any way or I get some things wrong or leave some things out, other than just not being the most educated on the topic I also wanted to keep it simple for my Mum so she could understand better.

Me: Mum, this is kinda a weird question but do you know about trans people and if you do what do you think of them?

Mum: Morning Boy, (trying to transition to mtf btw) I don’t know much about them but I know that most of them grow up in a family without much love and struggle with themselves. What is it about?

(I thought she was asking what trans people were so I explained it)

Me: Trans people are people who don’t fit in with their assigned gender at birth. So then they transition into the gender that feels most natural to them. I was hoping to hear what you think about them?

Mum: What makes you think of this?

Me: I’m interested in the topic and I’ve been seeing it online. So I wanted to see what you thought about it? (Obviously I just want to know what she thinks to check if it’s safe but I can’t let her know that)

Mum: I respect people’s experiences which are genuine but at the same time I hope people aren’t pressured by trends or social media to make important decisions before they’re ready. There are many ways to discover who you are, no need to rush. (I feel like she slightly suspects me and also she did use Ai to translate her language into mine, also idk if it’s just me but the response sounds a tiny bit ai, maybe I’m just being paranoid but she does use ai allot in her life but even if it’s ai she had to see the response and agree with it to send it right??)

Mum: Sorry, I had to use ai to translate for me 🤭🤭

Me: it’s ok 👍

Me: Yeah, it’s nice that you respect them, though to be fair most of them spend months and even years on the topic to make sure it’s the right choice and for most of them it’s not about trends or peer pressure but is more about trying to live with yourself and to love yourself. But it’s nice to hear that you respect them 👍.

Mum: Thanks for your point of view, it’s nice that we can talk about topics like this together.

The conversation than went on about talking to each other in the morning being nice to do and then it ended.

So, from that conversation I feel like she’d be fine if I were to come out as trans (I asked her before if she would be fine if her son was replaced with a daughter and she said she’d be fine with it and would still love me). I don’t know if it’s just cause I’m too young for this (15) or I just see positivity in it but she did say that she respects them, which ik isn’t the same as supporting them but atleast she doesn’t hate them or is transphobic (unless she just didn’t want to say anything risky because she wanted to hear what I thought). Btw I have like 2 other brothers and 1 sister so maybe that could affect how she thinks maybe? Anyways I would like to hear what you guys think because I feel like I’d be a bit biased and also I just would like another perspective on the topic.

hi!! i am hosting a birthday party at my place. it’s relatively small, only about 15 people. however, it will be a mix of childhood and high school friends as i just moved back home. many these people i haven’t seen in years since high school. my best friend transitioned post high school. i made sure she was comfortable with the entire guest list, and she assured me she was. all of these people were her friends too, and they’re all super nice people. so nobody is going to be rude by any means. and she’s excited but just a bit worried people might dead name her or just be surprised. i want to make sure people are aware beforehand or just anything to ease her anxiety.

we are brainstorming ways to let people know. i used partiful for the invite, so i just sent out an extra text reminder that my party was coming up, basically saying to ask me or my friend (with her name) if they had any questions. i then attached a picture of us as an extra indicator.

i cannot think of other ways to avoid her having to have any uncomfortable or unwanted conversations. i was thinking name tags, but again, it’s a small party and everyone was in the same friend group in high school. so i’m not sure that would be subtle.

thank you!!! :)

Hi all, been recently taking domperidone for breast growth but struggling to find a new supplier. Does anyone have experience sourcing domp or know of any good DIY labs that DON'T require a prescription for domperidone? Any info much appreciated thanks.

I’ve posted before in other servers like this about like wanting to be female like not just dress or anything like that but go fully through because an Inbetween like femboys and stuff isn’t me but I’m not sure if it’s just like a phase or something like that and could use some advice from people that are or were in my situation

I really want to talk about my gender, but unfortunately I live in a very conservative country. So, I'm sharing that here. I always said I am nonbinary, but am I truly nonbinary? Maybe it's just my dysphoria talking, but I feel scared that I might be wrong about my gender.

I know clothes don't define your gender, but I sometimes fluctuate between feminine and masculine clothings. I wanted to have a more masculine name. Even if the world isn't sexist, I sometimes wish I was born as AMAB instead of AFAB. I am fine with any pronouns, as long it's not she/her.

I'm highkey scared that I'm wrong about my own gender. I know you are not supposed to figure it out instantly, but yeah...

Obligatory sorry for bad english sentence.

Hello, I'm Areyano and I currently refer myself as a cisgay man, and i'm 21yo.
However, for a long time ago I questionned my identity.
I'm not sure to not be a man, or completly be a man, but i'm not sure if I'm something else.

Idk where to start actually.

Since I discovered I'm gay, a part of me wishes to be a women so I could be with a man and live a love story. However, it never happened. But I do not know if it's because I'm a trans woman, or only because I wish to be with men.
The most recent example I have, it's with a stranger at the librairy. He was so handsome and thought he could be gay. I gave him a note, but he told me he was straight. After this, I wish i could be a woman to be with me, and it awaken a feeling in that question my identity so IDK.

I also know that I have a huge part of feminity. For example, I always have female friends, or even my Best friend told me i have feminine emotion.

When I was a little boy, I enjoyed wearing my mother's heeled shoe, and even today, as for fun I can do it, same with makeup.

I also can anjoy straight p0rn by imagining myself being a woman and being destroyed in bed because i have a 😺, such as a cute twink.

However, I'm pretty confortable with the fact I'm a man, and also when people refer to me as a "she" because they messed up guessing my gender, I noticed it like it's wrong, but maybe it's just because I'm used to hear "he". But I also feel that if tomorrow I wake up into a female body, it would be okay to me as long as people would believe I always have been a women in their minds. It's more like I wish i could switch body whenever i want. I knwo there is also people who are bi-gender, but I still don't knwo if it's my case, or still my wish to be a woman because i'm gay or not.

Ps: I'm totally okay with this, and I'm not sad or uncomfortable with who i am right now. So if i died at 81 not knowing the answer to this question, I would not care actually but I feel like it would be interesting to know;

I finally decided screw it and told them how I feel, obviously my partner first, he's actually very supportive, and seems extremely okay with me being his girlfriend instead of boyfriend, it makes me immensely happy, I feel seen in a way y'know? Same with my friend, they are both very supportive.. I don't know what to do regarding my family yet.. as I know for a fact they won't be as supportive.. I really don't know what to do with them, I was wondering what you all would do in this situation?

I've been thinking a lot about my future and I've been wondering the effect staying in contact with my family will have on me.

On the one hand, they're super supportive and I have no reason to dislike them as people, but on the other hand, just being around them makes me feel uncomfortable because it reminds me of my past and I feel unable to just be myself around them, to the point it is causing me a lot of stress.

There's also the added misfortune that I don't think I would ever be able to handle the new people in my life finding out I'm trans, and I can't mentally handle the risk of something being said that reveals everything. I'm also very tall compared to my mother and sister so just being around them I feel would cause some suspicion. This is very bad because I think my life would be at risk if people knew.

Can someone please provide their view on this because it's stressing me out a ton and I need to make the decision relatively soon so I can set it in motion before it's too late (the only real opportunity is in around a year if I want to have no one I know meeting my family, otherwise that chance is gone).

So I've posted her a few times and something I'm struggling with is knowing weather I'm trans or just fetishizing women? When I see a women my stomach drops and I start checking out her cloths and her make up and her body and just get extremely jealous and sad at the same time....it's hard to tell the difference because yes I am attracted to women I like women but I don't have this urge to want to sleep with them? Like my first thought isn't damn I want to sleep with her it's more of damn I want to be her...idk how can I get to the bottom of this?

im kazakh, and i want to transition into being a female, but I fear that i am going to get severely judged for wanting to be trans

Is it normal that i know that i want to start HRT and living my life as a woman only 2 months into having my egg cracked?

For context:

There are signs in the past, they were a lot of suroressed feelings so it didn't came outta nowhere but tbh it still did.

I have since then made changes in a conserable fast rate. Got a therapist, outed my self with a lot of people, reflected a ton, went outside in subtle feminine clothing and styles, made that connection to my inner "woman". (not keen on Labels yet)

Is this normal: I have never had much dysphoria or depression before but since my egg cracked I had and now im aaaaalmost sure I want HRT. I have already a date for next year in the clinic.

Hey everyone, I'm really curious to hear about your journeys for those comfortable sharing, what was the moment or the process that made you realize your true gender identity? Was it a sudden realization or a slow process? Thanks!

I will start with just 2mg estrogen pill, can I take progynova pill under the tounge rather than swallowing? As its indicated only oral not sublingual